My New Book Living More Than OK

My New Book Living More Than OK
purchase it at B & N, Amazon or (click on image of cover)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Living Your Best A Day At A Time

How would we live if we knew this was our last day? Being a heart patient with two stents in me and genetics against me, (since my father died young of a heart attack); I have thought of that question often. Even with advanced medical technology we don’t know when that last day will come. So how do we then live? There is a verse in Psalm 118:24 “This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Each day is a gift to us that we should appreciate and rejoice in. To me it is trying to live each day with an abundant living attitude, of making the most of the time I have left. What impact do I want to leave behind? The most important impact we can have is in helping others and investing in helping others live flourishing lives. The initial question helps us look at our values and think over what is really important in our daily living.

I came across the song If Today Was Your Last Day by the group Nickleback and their lyrics in the song looks at different angles of living like it was our last day. There was a very creative video that was done with the song so click on the link and look at the video and reflect over the lyrics.

Nickelback video

If Today Was Your Last Day lyrics
Songwriters: Kroeger, Chad;


My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

There are so many helpful questions in the song to challenge us in the way we are viewing and living our lives. In our daily living what hold does materialism have on us? What are the important relationships in your life and how would they be affected if you live in the moment of each day? How we use our time is important and the choices we make with our time will leave us on our last day either full of regret or satisfied that we did our best to live a fulfilled life.

Time to reflect:
Do you see each day given to you as a Gift?
Can you leave the past behind to make the most of each day?
What right now are your top five priorities to focus on if you were to live with an attitude of living like your last day?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Accepting Our Humanness

Many times in life we are too hard on ourselves. Thinking we should be the perfect student, perfect worker, perfect friend, and perfect mate. In a recent course I took on the Foundations of Positive Psychology the lecturer Professor Tal Ben-Shahar numerous times repeated the phrase, “give yourself permission to be human.” What does that mean? I thought back to a student who had almost a nervous breakdown over a poor grade. It turned out the student had started out the first semester with all A’s and then one class the next term started to slip which caused a spiral down in other classes. Why? Because the thinking that all A’s was the way to be. There is nothing wrong with all A’s but to hold oneself to that standard can cause inner turmoil and suffering. That is the tragedy of perfectionist thinking.

We ignore our humanness to our detriment when we pile up should and musts on ourselves in a unrealistic manner. I must have this job to be happy. I must have this person as my friend to be happy. I should get all A’s to prove I am a good student. When I discuss more on the issue of goals I will share how I believe we should dream big and aim for big goals to accomplish possibilities in our lives. Yet on the human side we should not beat ourselves up if we don’t fully reach our dreams or goals. But more on that later.

Accepting our humanness can be capsulated in this quote by Reinhold Niebuhr: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference." Being human is being content in areas that we cannot change. I cannot make someone like me. I can try to be more likeable. I cannot make someone hire me for a particular job. I can do my best in the job search and try to be creative in a competitive era of finding work. So on this journey in life understanding what we can change and what we cannot helps with the anxieties of the musts and regrets of should’ve and could’ve thinking that overtakes us. How much wasted potential is there when we dwell on the regrets of what we think could have been if we had that person as a friend or that job or whatever…? As a Christian minded person I do agree with Niebuhr that in prayer we need to seek for wisdom to think critically over these issues in our lives for the right choices.

As the acceptance of things brings contentment and a life regret free; also the things we can change; we need to take the risk to change them. If meeting new people is important to you than trying out new venues of meeting new people such as volunteering for a social cause, taking continuing education classes, being involved in church or synagogue may be a new helpful change . If looking for a new career is an option then seek out a career counselor, polish up your resume, or start networking.

Accepting and understanding the need for change are things with we can do in our humanness. What makes these effective in our lives is taking responsibility. As I stated earlier I cannot change those who work with me. I cannot change my family members. I can only change me and that is my responsibility and choice. In Victor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, (must reading), he says, “In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. Thus, logotherapy sees responsibleness the very essence of human existence.” So acceptance of our humanness is being responsible in our relation to God, ourselves and others.

Reflection:
What areas of your life are things you cannot change? What areas of your life can you change to improve the journey you are on? What does it mean to be human to you?