Getting Back Up From Hardships

Part of life is the hardships that come our way. The hardships come in varying degrees of difficulty. Each one of us face different hardships: job loss, loved ones dying, affairs, divorce, relationship breakups, illnesses, harsh weather events, (tornadoes and hurricanes), accidents, and tragedies such as the recent shooting I mentioned in the last blog post. These are negative happenstance events that no one plans for. At least no one I know plans and desires tragedies in their lives.

When we are hit by hardships are emotions are overwhelmed. We feel like the world is crushing us. This happens due to the shock value of the event happening without our full expectation of it. Granted some things such as divorces, job loss, and deaths from long term illnesses are not sudden shocks but still the pain of sadness, depression and anxiety has a strong impact on us.

At these times when we are knocked down by life that is when our resilience can come into play. The dictionary defines resilience as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. We can bounce back up from hardships. We need not be completely crushed and debilitated from these events. It is natural to go through the “why me” stage and experience the negative emotions of what we are experiencing. But living a more than ok life means we move beyond the negative feelings to adjust on to a positive pathway.

I came across this song by musician Toby Mac which speaks to the importance of resilience in bouncing back and getting back up when life knocks us down. Click on the title of the song to hear a video of the song “Get Back Up” and reflect over what the song means to you.

Get Back Up Toby Mac

You turned away when I looked you in the eye
And hesitated when I asked if you were alright
Seems like you’re fightin’ for your life
But why, oh, why
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare
You saw it comin’ but it hit you out of nowhere
And there’s always scars when you fall that far
We lose our way, we get back up again
It’s never too late to get back up again
And one day you gonna’ shine again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever
We lose our way, we get back up again
So get up, get up, you gonna’ shine again
It’s never too late to get back up again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever
You roll out of the dawning of the day
Heart racin’ as you made your little get away
It feels like you been runnin’ all your life
But why, oh, why
So you pull away from the love that would’ve been there
And start believin’ that your situation’s unfair
But there’s always scars when you fall that far
This is love callin,’ love callin,’
Out to the broken this is love callin’
This is love callin,’ love callin,’
I am so broken
This is love callin,’ love callin’

In the song, words and phrases that relate to hardships and tragedies in my view were “middle of your nightmare” and “hit you out of nowhere”. Often on news stories about earthquakes or tornadoes people will describe the aftermath as like a nightmare. Being hit out of nowhere is the experiential feeling we have as if the wind is knocked out of you as you hear of an affair of someone you trust. Also many going through hardships, bear scars that may always be with them or take a long time to heal.

The positive phrases that speak to bouncing back from hardships are “So get up, get up, you gonna’ shine again” and “You may be knocked down, but not out forever”. It is true during hard times we are knocked down. But do we need to stay down? No, we can get back up again. Although the darkness surrounding us in the hard times feel like an eternity as the song says we will shine again. Often we shine brighter afterwards as we build up our inner self and grow in resilience ability for future hardships.

There is a spiritual element I believe to going through hardships and that is what Toby Mac is speaking of in the phrase, “This is love callin”. Sometimes in the hard times we feel alone and make ourselves more alone by pulling away from others. We become too caught up with “This is not fair” thinking. In that broken thinking we need to understand and be open to God calling to us with His love. Be open to the love of others He places around us.

I think through the hard times I have had in my life journey. I would never wish any of those times on anyone. But I can say each time I have bounced back and learned new aspects of my life journey in the process. Sometimes it took me longer to “Get back up again” and the hardest times, thankfully I had friends nearby to encourage me and often felt God’s presence during the time.

Reflection:
Think through a time of hardship you had. Write down what happened and what feelings you went through. How did you bounce back and who all was involved in the process? Fast forward past the event. Write down an event where you felt life was shining for you after the time of hardship. Be thankful for that shining time.