From the first thought of the day, “I don’t feel like getting up”; to the last thought, “why can’t I fall asleep”, we are faced with thousands of thoughts. Constantly we are bombarded with our thoughts during breakfast, driving in traffic, while listening to others. Do we understand how these thoughts affect our lives, our choices, and our futures?
In the Old Testament book of Proverbs 23:7 we find these words, “As a man thinks in his heart so is he.” This is a powerful proverb if you reflect over its importance. Our thoughts are what shapes the real us. Our character, values, behavior, dreams, attitudes are all shaped by our thought life. Our environment and genetic makeup has a part in our development but the driving force of development is our thinking processes. This idea raises the bar on our personal responsibility if we consider the power of our thoughts.
I recently re-read a little leather bound book a friend in Chicago gave me years ago, by the writer James Allen. It is called As A Man Thinketh. You can read an online version by clicking on the preceding title. Here is a sampling of ideas from his work:
A man's mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.
Every thought seed sown or allowed to fall into the mind, and to take root there, produces its own, blossoming sooner or later into act, and bearing its own fruitage of opportunity and circumstance. Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bad fruit.
His analogy of the mind and life to that of a garden is important in contemplating what kind of life we want to lead. When our family visited Chicago recently I made sure we visited Chicago Botanic Gardens as my wife always enjoyed visiting there when we lived in Chicago. You can stroll through acres and acres of well manicured gardens full of flowers not weeds. The various gardens there, are a peaceful setting to appreciate a variety of flowers and plants.
Thinking back to Allen’s analogy, how do we want our lives to be? Do we want a life in disarray and a mess or a life of beauty? Deep down we want a life of beauty but moving beyond what we want; we must look at what actually is. We can ask ourselves do I have a life in disarray or a life of beauty? Our thoughts have a major effect on the outcome of our lives. It is our thinking that drives our choices for good or for bad. If we are filling our lives with negative thoughts or dwelling on how boring our lives we are not living more than ok. Weeds of life will quickly overtake our daily experience leaving us in disarray.
The Apostle Paul in the New Testament scriptures states an important point of what the focus of our thinking should be. In Philippians 4 :8&9 he says, “ 8 Finally, brethren,)whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” The focus of our thoughts should be on positive things. Our thoughts should be seeking truth with the aim for excellence. I enjoy The Message paraphrase, by Eugene Peterson of the same verse 8 Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. We need to fill our minds and reflect and ponder those thoughts that are the best and thoughts of beauty. How much could we improve our lives if we took the time to meditate on true, noble, authentic, and gracious thinking.
What would others think of us if our thoughts appeared above our heads like walking billboards. Would they see noble, gracious thoughts? Or would we be embarrassed by the negatives of unfair judgments, negative putdowns, and personal insecurities? Too often we allow cursing and negative thoughts gain control. Relationships falter as we have ungracious thinking about those around us. We limit our potential by having untruthful and ugly thoughts about ourselves. These negative thoughts work out to make our lives ugly like an overgrown weed filled garden not a peaceful garden of beauty.
Take some time at the end of the day to reflect over your thoughts of the day. Make a list of the negatives and the positives found in your thought life. . Is your list full of road rage thoughts, complaints, and personal putdowns on yourself? What can you do to change the negatives and build up reputable and authentic beautiful thoughts? We will delve more into what you can do in the next post. Until then, take thought of your thoughts.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Exercise a Key to Living More Than OK
For the past six years I have been consistent in using a treadmill and Elliptical for exercise most every night. Before then exercise was not a priority. What caused the change? It is amazing how having two stents placed in two formerly 99% blocked arteries changed my perspective on life. The Cardiologist told my wife at the time if I had not been taken to the emergency room I would have died in my sleep. I wasn’t that overweight. The artery problem was more genetic in nature as my father had died of blocked arteries to the heart at age 58.
When you come that close to death, life takes on new meaning. Especially when after the stent surgery I learned news of two people near my age that died of heart attacks. I reflected over why I was still alive when I stubbornly almost refused going to the hospital and possibly would have died that day. From the context of my recent thinking on living more than ok, I also thought how even though I am predisposed to clogged arteries my style of life of just being ok catered to junk food and lack of exercise in my past. My thinking had been, I am not overweight, so why bother with exercise.
After the stent surgery, I was placed in heart rehab therapy so was forced to go on a heart diet and an exercise regimen. Since that initial heart rehab after the hospital, I have kept disciplined in diet and exercise partly due to my wife’s direction but also because I enjoy living life. I know I need to follow the regimen if I want to keep living. Another factor since that day when I could not breathe, as I felt like a thousand pound weight was on my chest, is a sincere belief God is not finished with me yet. I figured there must be a purpose for me to still be alive. My wife and daughter are in that purpose zone. But I believe even this post on exercise is part of the purpose. If I can encourage a few people to exercise before a hospital visit forces them to -- it is all worth it.
Exercise gives you more energy to face each and every day. Since my time in the hospital I have been more aware of sensing my body. If I am sick and cannot exercise for a few days I can feel a sluggishness overtaking me physically. Recently I read in the July/August issue of Scientific American Mind that exercise is not just good for the body but for the mind as well. Vigorous aerobic exercise helps keep the brain in better shape. So if you are wanting to live a better life and enjoy improved mental health become involved with physical activities as part of your lifestyle – jogging, walking, swimming, tennis, basketball, or treadmills can help in promoting a strong circulatory system. You can exercise by yourself, with close friends, or if you are a more social person you may find support in joining a health club.
My wife recently had a friend give her a Walk at Home DVD that we have begun to use and enjoy. It is done by Leslie Sansone. At first I did not think walking in place at home could be any help as a workout. We have tried it and it is vigorous and gets all the muscles moving. My wife has seen an energy boost from it. Our daughter enjoys it as well so it is a positive way to spend some family time together. I still enjoy working out on my machines so we alternate as they do not have to exercise everyday like I do.
Make exercise as part of your lifestyle choice. It is better for you to choose now rather than having a hospital visit choose it for you. You will be doing your body and mind a favor and it is a great gift you can give those you love – a better you!
When you come that close to death, life takes on new meaning. Especially when after the stent surgery I learned news of two people near my age that died of heart attacks. I reflected over why I was still alive when I stubbornly almost refused going to the hospital and possibly would have died that day. From the context of my recent thinking on living more than ok, I also thought how even though I am predisposed to clogged arteries my style of life of just being ok catered to junk food and lack of exercise in my past. My thinking had been, I am not overweight, so why bother with exercise.
After the stent surgery, I was placed in heart rehab therapy so was forced to go on a heart diet and an exercise regimen. Since that initial heart rehab after the hospital, I have kept disciplined in diet and exercise partly due to my wife’s direction but also because I enjoy living life. I know I need to follow the regimen if I want to keep living. Another factor since that day when I could not breathe, as I felt like a thousand pound weight was on my chest, is a sincere belief God is not finished with me yet. I figured there must be a purpose for me to still be alive. My wife and daughter are in that purpose zone. But I believe even this post on exercise is part of the purpose. If I can encourage a few people to exercise before a hospital visit forces them to -- it is all worth it.
Exercise gives you more energy to face each and every day. Since my time in the hospital I have been more aware of sensing my body. If I am sick and cannot exercise for a few days I can feel a sluggishness overtaking me physically. Recently I read in the July/August issue of Scientific American Mind that exercise is not just good for the body but for the mind as well. Vigorous aerobic exercise helps keep the brain in better shape. So if you are wanting to live a better life and enjoy improved mental health become involved with physical activities as part of your lifestyle – jogging, walking, swimming, tennis, basketball, or treadmills can help in promoting a strong circulatory system. You can exercise by yourself, with close friends, or if you are a more social person you may find support in joining a health club.
My wife recently had a friend give her a Walk at Home DVD that we have begun to use and enjoy. It is done by Leslie Sansone. At first I did not think walking in place at home could be any help as a workout. We have tried it and it is vigorous and gets all the muscles moving. My wife has seen an energy boost from it. Our daughter enjoys it as well so it is a positive way to spend some family time together. I still enjoy working out on my machines so we alternate as they do not have to exercise everyday like I do.
Make exercise as part of your lifestyle choice. It is better for you to choose now rather than having a hospital visit choose it for you. You will be doing your body and mind a favor and it is a great gift you can give those you love – a better you!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Rekindling Your Dreams
Continuing on the subject of our personal dreams for our life, what stops us in following our dreams? Why do our lives get turned upside down and lose sight of the path we were on in our life journey? Why do people of faith have feelings that God has disappeared from involvement in their lives?
Dreams become squelched by the stuff of life overwhelming us. Instead of using wise active choices to control what we can, we passively move about on autopilot and let life situations and dull drudgery control us. Day to day distractions grow and grow until we give up on living more than ok and settle for mundane existence. Then our dreams fade away.
It is sometimes hard to imagine how this can happen. For example, a person who goes off to college with high hopes of a college degree does not plan on not finishing. Yet he may stop out for a year to save up a little more money with the intention to go back soon. Ten years later he never goes back as more and more bills pile up. Another person who wants to start a photography hobby, or learn a musical instrument, she then lets work, housing chores, and other activities take over -- never gets around to it. People actually then say “I will get around to it some day”. Some day never comes then regrets take over with all the entailing negativity.
The title track of Phil Keaggy’s Dream Again CD came to my mind as I was thinking over this topic of rekindling dreams. You can listen to a sample of the track at http://www.rhapsody.com/phil-keaggy/dream-again As you listen to the song reflect over what Phil is saying about dreaming again in his lyrics I have listed here.
Dream Again by Phil Keaggy
Ready with a pen in hand, I’m wondering why I haven’t slept, well I’ve had a lot on my mind.
And it shows it shows. I must let go of all these distractions. Leave them far behind and dream again
And when I wake up smiling the world’s a different place.
Only when I choose. Only when I use my eyes to see your beautiful face.
If ever I’m upside down Whenever I’m turned around I will pray.
If ever I lose my step, If ever I should forget I will , I will pray.
Ready with these open hands I’m turning them upside down, cause
I must let go of all these reactions. Leave them far behind and dream again.
And when I wake up smiling The world’s a different place
Only when I choose Only when I use my eyes to see your beautiful face.
If ever I’m upside down Whenever I’m turned around I will pray
If ever I lose my step, If ever I should forget I will , I will pray
Help me to let go all these distractions. Leave them far behind and dream again.
I must let go of all these. If ever I’m upside down, Whenever I’m turned around I will, I will pray.
I can relate to his thoughts of feeling upside down. When we have lost track of our dreams we do feel out of sorts. As I mentioned at the beginning, it is all the distractions of life that hinder us with our dreams and our wrong reactions lead to giving up on our dreams. We wind up giving up on God and give up on ourselves. I appreciate the picture of him being ready with open hands turned upside down. He is not tensed up clenching wildly on to his distractions. He is ready to move on with dreams for his life and letting go of his distractions so they can fall away. The phrasing reminds me of a single mom named Lucy, who attended a church in Chicago where I worshipped years ago. Her favorite phrase was “Let go and let God.” We can’t rekindle lost dreams or create new dreams, if we keep hanging on to life’s past difficulties and hurts.
Here is one, More Than OK, idea for you to consider and try. In Phil’s song he repeats “I will pray”. If you are in a period of feeling dreamless and desire to rekindle the fire of personal dreams in your life, get away for a day by yourself. Go to the beach, rent a cabin in the woods, or visit a mountainside retreat. Some place you find relaxing. Make it a spiritual dream retreat day. Pray and meditate over your life. Let go of the reactions of the past and distractions of the present. Brainstorm ideas for dreams -- new ones and old ones you had forgotten about. Hopefully if you have done the dream list exercise from the last post bring it with you. During your day do two writing exercises. Write for about 20 minutes on where do you see yourself 5 years from now if you follow some of your dream ideas? Repeat the exercise later expanding the timeline up to 10 years in the future. We are not placed on this earth to live tensely distracted but to live joyfully and abundantly.
Dreams become squelched by the stuff of life overwhelming us. Instead of using wise active choices to control what we can, we passively move about on autopilot and let life situations and dull drudgery control us. Day to day distractions grow and grow until we give up on living more than ok and settle for mundane existence. Then our dreams fade away.
It is sometimes hard to imagine how this can happen. For example, a person who goes off to college with high hopes of a college degree does not plan on not finishing. Yet he may stop out for a year to save up a little more money with the intention to go back soon. Ten years later he never goes back as more and more bills pile up. Another person who wants to start a photography hobby, or learn a musical instrument, she then lets work, housing chores, and other activities take over -- never gets around to it. People actually then say “I will get around to it some day”. Some day never comes then regrets take over with all the entailing negativity.
The title track of Phil Keaggy’s Dream Again CD came to my mind as I was thinking over this topic of rekindling dreams. You can listen to a sample of the track at http://www.rhapsody.com/phil-keaggy/dream-again As you listen to the song reflect over what Phil is saying about dreaming again in his lyrics I have listed here.
Dream Again by Phil Keaggy
Ready with a pen in hand, I’m wondering why I haven’t slept, well I’ve had a lot on my mind.
And it shows it shows. I must let go of all these distractions. Leave them far behind and dream again
And when I wake up smiling the world’s a different place.
Only when I choose. Only when I use my eyes to see your beautiful face.
If ever I’m upside down Whenever I’m turned around I will pray.
If ever I lose my step, If ever I should forget I will , I will pray.
Ready with these open hands I’m turning them upside down, cause
I must let go of all these reactions. Leave them far behind and dream again.
And when I wake up smiling The world’s a different place
Only when I choose Only when I use my eyes to see your beautiful face.
If ever I’m upside down Whenever I’m turned around I will pray
If ever I lose my step, If ever I should forget I will , I will pray
Help me to let go all these distractions. Leave them far behind and dream again.
I must let go of all these. If ever I’m upside down, Whenever I’m turned around I will, I will pray.
I can relate to his thoughts of feeling upside down. When we have lost track of our dreams we do feel out of sorts. As I mentioned at the beginning, it is all the distractions of life that hinder us with our dreams and our wrong reactions lead to giving up on our dreams. We wind up giving up on God and give up on ourselves. I appreciate the picture of him being ready with open hands turned upside down. He is not tensed up clenching wildly on to his distractions. He is ready to move on with dreams for his life and letting go of his distractions so they can fall away. The phrasing reminds me of a single mom named Lucy, who attended a church in Chicago where I worshipped years ago. Her favorite phrase was “Let go and let God.” We can’t rekindle lost dreams or create new dreams, if we keep hanging on to life’s past difficulties and hurts.
Here is one, More Than OK, idea for you to consider and try. In Phil’s song he repeats “I will pray”. If you are in a period of feeling dreamless and desire to rekindle the fire of personal dreams in your life, get away for a day by yourself. Go to the beach, rent a cabin in the woods, or visit a mountainside retreat. Some place you find relaxing. Make it a spiritual dream retreat day. Pray and meditate over your life. Let go of the reactions of the past and distractions of the present. Brainstorm ideas for dreams -- new ones and old ones you had forgotten about. Hopefully if you have done the dream list exercise from the last post bring it with you. During your day do two writing exercises. Write for about 20 minutes on where do you see yourself 5 years from now if you follow some of your dream ideas? Repeat the exercise later expanding the timeline up to 10 years in the future. We are not placed on this earth to live tensely distracted but to live joyfully and abundantly.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Following Your Dreams!
Sloughing through life in OK mode leads to a life as Henry David Thoreau verbally pictured, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” A great number of people move through life unfulfilled-- watching reality TV, spending free time roaming shopping malls, or surfing the internet or absorbed in their iphones. Not living up to the potential that is within. One of the many ways to Live More Than OK is how I often end emails to students – “Follow Your Dreams!”
Developing your dreams and following them unleashes potential in your life to maximize your experiences. Walt Kallestad says in his book Wake Up Your Dreams, (can be found in libraries or used bookstores), “Dreams can help us see the invisible, believe the incredible, and achieve the impossible.” Creating dreams of what you want out of life can wake up passions for new hobbies, life adventures, new career paths, and new relationships. They allow us to achieve more in life than we could ever imagine!
John Maxwell in his recent book, Put Your Dreams to the Test, mentions how some people live their lives based on the dreams of others. This is seen in young people doing sports their parents want them to do. Students who aim for careers their parents want them to do. This can cause lack of fulfillment and future anxiety as we were not made to live another’s dreams. We were made to live the dreams we were meant to live. Maxwell then takes the reader through a series of questions to reflect over in creating and developing their own dream.
One of the best examples of a person who is an amazing dream maker and dream follower is a man named John Goddard. His story amazed me when I came upon it while internet surfing ideas for a lecture to students on dreams and goal setting. I have used it ever since, with College students to open their minds to the potential each one has to do so many things in their lifetime. John when he was 15 on a rainy day took out a pad of paper and wrote out 127 things on his “My Life List”. The list included places he wanted to go, things he wanted to learn, careers he wanted to follow. Some of his adventures in traveling around the world are noted in his book, The Survivor. Here are some examples from his list: explore the Nile river, climb Mt. Ararat, visit every country in the world, visit the Great Wall of China, visit The Taj Mahal, ride an elephant, study native medicines follow the John Muir Trail, high jump 5 feet, read the entire Bible, read the works of Tolstoy, Plato and Aristotle, play Claire De Lune on the piano. At the time of writing his book he had completed 111 of his original list and expanded the list to 500 items. That is what I call dreaming big. What I admire about the story as well is; he did not stick to just his list of 127, but has kept over his years expanding his possibilities. Do check out his website and read his amazing story -- http://www.johngoddard.info/index.htm
Set aside some free time on a weekend or evening and create your own life dream list. Dream Big about the things you desire to do, places you want to travel to, things you want to learn! If you do Journaling, write your list in your journal, or you may want to make a creative poster of your dream list. Do write it down so you can begin checking your dream items off as you accomplish them.
You may say how does this relate to my previous post on our choices towards Happenstance events or as I see them as God Moments. If happenstance is where it’s at, why plan anything or dream dreams?? Having recently, the opportunity to hear Dr. Krumboltz speak on the issue of Happenstance and life; he pointed out that he is not against dreaming or goal setting. Instead he encourages people to be open and flexible to new possibilities instead of rigidly hanging on to your dreams. Hanging on to a dream may bring you near destruction. I remember when working at a warehouse when I was younger; I had lunch with a lady who shared how she had been almost killed by her ex-husband and needed plastic surgery from the beatings. I asked her why she stayed so long with him until the near fatal beating. She replied she had thought he was her dream prince charming. A dream that nearly killed her. Again thinking of John Goddard’s list, he after many years did not complete everything on his list, instead he opened his mind to 373 new possibilities.
Follow your dreams! But keep open to new possibilities!
Developing your dreams and following them unleashes potential in your life to maximize your experiences. Walt Kallestad says in his book Wake Up Your Dreams, (can be found in libraries or used bookstores), “Dreams can help us see the invisible, believe the incredible, and achieve the impossible.” Creating dreams of what you want out of life can wake up passions for new hobbies, life adventures, new career paths, and new relationships. They allow us to achieve more in life than we could ever imagine!
John Maxwell in his recent book, Put Your Dreams to the Test, mentions how some people live their lives based on the dreams of others. This is seen in young people doing sports their parents want them to do. Students who aim for careers their parents want them to do. This can cause lack of fulfillment and future anxiety as we were not made to live another’s dreams. We were made to live the dreams we were meant to live. Maxwell then takes the reader through a series of questions to reflect over in creating and developing their own dream.
One of the best examples of a person who is an amazing dream maker and dream follower is a man named John Goddard. His story amazed me when I came upon it while internet surfing ideas for a lecture to students on dreams and goal setting. I have used it ever since, with College students to open their minds to the potential each one has to do so many things in their lifetime. John when he was 15 on a rainy day took out a pad of paper and wrote out 127 things on his “My Life List”. The list included places he wanted to go, things he wanted to learn, careers he wanted to follow. Some of his adventures in traveling around the world are noted in his book, The Survivor. Here are some examples from his list: explore the Nile river, climb Mt. Ararat, visit every country in the world, visit the Great Wall of China, visit The Taj Mahal, ride an elephant, study native medicines follow the John Muir Trail, high jump 5 feet, read the entire Bible, read the works of Tolstoy, Plato and Aristotle, play Claire De Lune on the piano. At the time of writing his book he had completed 111 of his original list and expanded the list to 500 items. That is what I call dreaming big. What I admire about the story as well is; he did not stick to just his list of 127, but has kept over his years expanding his possibilities. Do check out his website and read his amazing story -- http://www.johngoddard.info/index.htm
Set aside some free time on a weekend or evening and create your own life dream list. Dream Big about the things you desire to do, places you want to travel to, things you want to learn! If you do Journaling, write your list in your journal, or you may want to make a creative poster of your dream list. Do write it down so you can begin checking your dream items off as you accomplish them.
You may say how does this relate to my previous post on our choices towards Happenstance events or as I see them as God Moments. If happenstance is where it’s at, why plan anything or dream dreams?? Having recently, the opportunity to hear Dr. Krumboltz speak on the issue of Happenstance and life; he pointed out that he is not against dreaming or goal setting. Instead he encourages people to be open and flexible to new possibilities instead of rigidly hanging on to your dreams. Hanging on to a dream may bring you near destruction. I remember when working at a warehouse when I was younger; I had lunch with a lady who shared how she had been almost killed by her ex-husband and needed plastic surgery from the beatings. I asked her why she stayed so long with him until the near fatal beating. She replied she had thought he was her dream prince charming. A dream that nearly killed her. Again thinking of John Goddard’s list, he after many years did not complete everything on his list, instead he opened his mind to 373 new possibilities.
Follow your dreams! But keep open to new possibilities!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
The Career Journey: Openness to Happenstance and God Moments
On our career journey, I mentioned earlier that career assessments can open up career possibilities for individuals to think over. Another aspect to look at in our career journey is happenstance in our lives. These are the chance events that pop into our lives. These events have an effect in our careers and life in general. Some consider happenstance as luck or circumstances. Coming at life from my Christian worldview, I see a Creator God guiding life rather than random chance so I view happenstance occurrences as God moments. His special intervention in our lives.
I count it a privilege to have attended a few years ago a training by Dr. John Krumboltz and Dr. Al Levin about Happenstance which was based on their book Luck Is No Accident. I appreciated their thinking that Career Counselors need to have a whole life focus instead of just looking at finding life fulfillment in just a career. Events that come into our lives shape the direction we move in career and our overall life journey. I highly recommend this book if you are exploring career and life fulfillment. Their thoughts helped me to view our life journey as the Beatles song says The Long and Winding Road instead of a straight direct line.
As I read through their book and considered their Happenstance Learning Theory I applied it to my career life journey. What we think we will do in our high school years can vary widely as we react to life events. Drs. Krumboltz and Levin point out that our careers and lives are not a result of just pure chance happenstance. It is the choices we make in response to those events. That is an important factor to consider. As I look at my life, I see turning points of happenstance in the timeline of my life.
For example in my junior high school years in Ohio, I had a high respect for the pastor at my local church. Having grown up in a single parent home I looked up to him as a role model. So in High School I decided I would go to Bible College and be a pastor of a church. Then in my senior year a new pastor took charge who was a real jerk, was abusive to people, and had an affair with the secretary of the church so I became disillusioned. In my disillusionment I looked at my high school career test results. The results listed careers of minister but also engineering. So in my disillusionment I chose engineering. During the first year of college I realized by working with a career counselor I had deeper Social leanings in my career choices and I should not let one poor example of a pastor disturb my move in that direction. So I moved first back home and worked a while at a factory to sort out where to go to school. I selected a Bible College in Chicago where a couple of my friends attended.
After my Bachelors degree in Bible at Moody Bible Institute I went on for a Master of Divinity degree at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School also in the Chicago area. By then I had an interest in Counseling so I took that emphasis in my degree. You would think I would then move into a religious ministry position but that did not happen. Some life events occurred to move me into a job with a Publishing company in the Chicago Suburbs. It was a lower level position keeping track of returned books from bookstores and schools. Being a booklover I thought this may be an opportunity to move into the publishing world. I noticed in my work there, in my small office at the back of the building, workers from various departments would stop by and many would vent their frustrations concerning their lives to me. Especially after a few years as the company was bought out by another company; stress levels rose at work so even higher level managers would come by and they would apologize for “venting”. I would reply “don’t worry everyone does – I’m the company shrink back here”.
At this time I was also doing volunteer work with a Korean minister who was working with college students from different cultural backgrounds. I found I enjoyed tutoring and counseling the students on their life plans. As the publishing company spiraled out of control from the corporate buyout; and I had two deaths in my family, my mother and oldest brother -- I moved into a customer service job at a local suburban corporation. For the next two years I worked customer service in phone order departments. Definitely not my dream job of high school days but it paid the bills. During that time I kept volunteering with the Korean minister as I enjoyed helping the college students. This is when I met my future wife, Susie at one of his meetings. After a year of having met her, she needed to move from Chicago, IL to Texas to pursue her Pharmacy career
As she moved to Texas I had a decision to make -- do I follow her to Texas or just stay in Chicago? Continuing to think about Happenstance or God Moments, (in my high school days I would never have envisioned this choice). I had no desire ever to move to Texas as I did not care for cowboys or the Wild West. Some of my friends echoed that thinking. Other friends of mine told me to look at my life. If I really loved Sook , (as Susie is known in Chicago), I would take the risk and move to Brownsville. It was also pointed out to me that I really did not enjoy my work in Customer Service. So I took the risk and moved.
My move was to Brownsville, TX the southernmost tip of Texas. I landed work in Real Estate while I looked for other types of work as well. With my lack of Spanish skills it was difficult to find other work. I thought back to my volunteer work with college students in Chicago and thought working at a university would be fulfilling. I eventually landed a job as a Student Success Advisor at a Technical College in the area. By then I had married Susie and she encouraged me to go back to school, as I had always wanted to finish a Masters in Counseling. I finished that degree at the University of Texas at Brownsville. After working 5 years at the College, a Career Counseling position opened at UTB so I applied and got the job. This is a job that I am thankful for being a part in opening students’ minds to their possibilities for their futures. But it is miles apart from what I thought I would be doing when I graduated from High School.
As I look over my life and think of the Happenstance Theory I see the life events that I had not planned nor envisioned in my high school life: living in Chicago, working at a Publisher where co-workers would turn to me for their “Venting”, my mother and brother’s death, the stress of the company spinning out of control , meeting the Korean minister through a musician friend where I gained a passion for working with University students, meeting my wife at a Korean church, moving to Texas. All events I did not plan on, but the choices I made concerning them helped shape the present I am enjoying now. Some events were stressful others joyful but looking back I can see them as God Moments, of molding events in my life and career journey.
Take time to look back over your life journey. What are the unplanned events that entered your life to bring you where you are today? Take some time to write your life journey down and reflect over the choices you made in the various turning points in your life. Be thankful for your life journey.
I count it a privilege to have attended a few years ago a training by Dr. John Krumboltz and Dr. Al Levin about Happenstance which was based on their book Luck Is No Accident. I appreciated their thinking that Career Counselors need to have a whole life focus instead of just looking at finding life fulfillment in just a career. Events that come into our lives shape the direction we move in career and our overall life journey. I highly recommend this book if you are exploring career and life fulfillment. Their thoughts helped me to view our life journey as the Beatles song says The Long and Winding Road instead of a straight direct line.
As I read through their book and considered their Happenstance Learning Theory I applied it to my career life journey. What we think we will do in our high school years can vary widely as we react to life events. Drs. Krumboltz and Levin point out that our careers and lives are not a result of just pure chance happenstance. It is the choices we make in response to those events. That is an important factor to consider. As I look at my life, I see turning points of happenstance in the timeline of my life.
For example in my junior high school years in Ohio, I had a high respect for the pastor at my local church. Having grown up in a single parent home I looked up to him as a role model. So in High School I decided I would go to Bible College and be a pastor of a church. Then in my senior year a new pastor took charge who was a real jerk, was abusive to people, and had an affair with the secretary of the church so I became disillusioned. In my disillusionment I looked at my high school career test results. The results listed careers of minister but also engineering. So in my disillusionment I chose engineering. During the first year of college I realized by working with a career counselor I had deeper Social leanings in my career choices and I should not let one poor example of a pastor disturb my move in that direction. So I moved first back home and worked a while at a factory to sort out where to go to school. I selected a Bible College in Chicago where a couple of my friends attended.
After my Bachelors degree in Bible at Moody Bible Institute I went on for a Master of Divinity degree at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School also in the Chicago area. By then I had an interest in Counseling so I took that emphasis in my degree. You would think I would then move into a religious ministry position but that did not happen. Some life events occurred to move me into a job with a Publishing company in the Chicago Suburbs. It was a lower level position keeping track of returned books from bookstores and schools. Being a booklover I thought this may be an opportunity to move into the publishing world. I noticed in my work there, in my small office at the back of the building, workers from various departments would stop by and many would vent their frustrations concerning their lives to me. Especially after a few years as the company was bought out by another company; stress levels rose at work so even higher level managers would come by and they would apologize for “venting”. I would reply “don’t worry everyone does – I’m the company shrink back here”.
At this time I was also doing volunteer work with a Korean minister who was working with college students from different cultural backgrounds. I found I enjoyed tutoring and counseling the students on their life plans. As the publishing company spiraled out of control from the corporate buyout; and I had two deaths in my family, my mother and oldest brother -- I moved into a customer service job at a local suburban corporation. For the next two years I worked customer service in phone order departments. Definitely not my dream job of high school days but it paid the bills. During that time I kept volunteering with the Korean minister as I enjoyed helping the college students. This is when I met my future wife, Susie at one of his meetings. After a year of having met her, she needed to move from Chicago, IL to Texas to pursue her Pharmacy career
As she moved to Texas I had a decision to make -- do I follow her to Texas or just stay in Chicago? Continuing to think about Happenstance or God Moments, (in my high school days I would never have envisioned this choice). I had no desire ever to move to Texas as I did not care for cowboys or the Wild West. Some of my friends echoed that thinking. Other friends of mine told me to look at my life. If I really loved Sook , (as Susie is known in Chicago), I would take the risk and move to Brownsville. It was also pointed out to me that I really did not enjoy my work in Customer Service. So I took the risk and moved.
My move was to Brownsville, TX the southernmost tip of Texas. I landed work in Real Estate while I looked for other types of work as well. With my lack of Spanish skills it was difficult to find other work. I thought back to my volunteer work with college students in Chicago and thought working at a university would be fulfilling. I eventually landed a job as a Student Success Advisor at a Technical College in the area. By then I had married Susie and she encouraged me to go back to school, as I had always wanted to finish a Masters in Counseling. I finished that degree at the University of Texas at Brownsville. After working 5 years at the College, a Career Counseling position opened at UTB so I applied and got the job. This is a job that I am thankful for being a part in opening students’ minds to their possibilities for their futures. But it is miles apart from what I thought I would be doing when I graduated from High School.
As I look over my life and think of the Happenstance Theory I see the life events that I had not planned nor envisioned in my high school life: living in Chicago, working at a Publisher where co-workers would turn to me for their “Venting”, my mother and brother’s death, the stress of the company spinning out of control , meeting the Korean minister through a musician friend where I gained a passion for working with University students, meeting my wife at a Korean church, moving to Texas. All events I did not plan on, but the choices I made concerning them helped shape the present I am enjoying now. Some events were stressful others joyful but looking back I can see them as God Moments, of molding events in my life and career journey.
Take time to look back over your life journey. What are the unplanned events that entered your life to bring you where you are today? Take some time to write your life journey down and reflect over the choices you made in the various turning points in your life. Be thankful for your life journey.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Living More Than OK by Becoming a Bookhead
In my first post, I mentioned how seeing the ill effects of students who were bored, failing in their dreams their first year of College, was an impetus in wanting to do a blog on how we can live fulfilling lives. Their comments initially dumbfounded me as I believe I have always tended to be a low boredom type, especially when it comes to education. I love learning. I believe a major reason for this is that in my early elementary years my mother, each Summer involved me in the local library reading program. All my life I have enjoyed reading. Some of my research readings on boredom show that readers often have lower boredom levels.
This came close to home when a couple of years ago, I was trying to encourage my teenage daughter to read more books. She was not too keen on the idea. She told me that she was not a Bookhead like me. I immediately thought of the full bookshelves in my home office and the two full bookshelves in my work office. Bookhead -- I liked the term.
Being a Bookhead is a way to expand your mind and make your life more than ok. Fiction books can take you places in your mind that may encourage you to travel or try out something new in your life. Or just the imagination side of fiction can bring fulfilling enjoyment to a boring day. Nonfiction books provide knowledge to grow your mind and explore new experiences in life. They also help build critical thinking skills as you think through ideas and issues in nonfiction books.
There have been studies in the recent years showing a decline in reading. The National Endowments for the Arts did a study on the decline in reading from 1982-2002. Any drop in reading levels or people who think reading is boring makes me want to shout out the positive side of building a habit of reading in our lives. I came across a thoughtful opinion on the subject from 2007 looking at another survey about reading habits. The writer points out how other cultures such as the Chinese and Indians are moving ahead of us in the US, due to their increased reading habits. In an era where the news points to a decline in reading I would like to encourage more people to try out being a Bookhead as one way to improve their lives. I have never really been a follower of Oprah’s television shows but one area I respect her in is her emphasis on promoting books and reading.
In the book, This Unbearable Boredom of Being, the author, Genrich Krasko, speaks of the importance of reading – “But one cannot build up one’s personality, with high self esteem and a mature approach to life without reading and reading a lot. Extinction of books will eventually bring about the extinction of Western Civilization.” Reading a wide selection of books will build our lives up with stronger minds and deeper fulfillment. Support your local library and local bookstores by making a commitment to watch less TV, less internet surfing, (except for this blog!), and make time to read more books. Start with topics and reading styles you enjoy and branch out from there. For encouraging younger people to read check out the website, http://www.readkiddoread.com/home by author James Patterson. It is a helpful resource for encouraging young people to read.
As for my daughter’s reading, back when she called me a Bookhead, a friend told me not to push books on her. Instead let her find books that she liked in her own timing. I wish I could say her recent interest in Ted Dekker books was my doing. Actually I am grateful to her English teacher and her school librarian for connecting her with books that she enjoys reading. That is the key in moving beyond ok in your life by becoming a Bookhead -- find what books you enjoy and enjoy a relaxing, fulfilling Summer read!
This came close to home when a couple of years ago, I was trying to encourage my teenage daughter to read more books. She was not too keen on the idea. She told me that she was not a Bookhead like me. I immediately thought of the full bookshelves in my home office and the two full bookshelves in my work office. Bookhead -- I liked the term.
Being a Bookhead is a way to expand your mind and make your life more than ok. Fiction books can take you places in your mind that may encourage you to travel or try out something new in your life. Or just the imagination side of fiction can bring fulfilling enjoyment to a boring day. Nonfiction books provide knowledge to grow your mind and explore new experiences in life. They also help build critical thinking skills as you think through ideas and issues in nonfiction books.
There have been studies in the recent years showing a decline in reading. The National Endowments for the Arts did a study on the decline in reading from 1982-2002. Any drop in reading levels or people who think reading is boring makes me want to shout out the positive side of building a habit of reading in our lives. I came across a thoughtful opinion on the subject from 2007 looking at another survey about reading habits. The writer points out how other cultures such as the Chinese and Indians are moving ahead of us in the US, due to their increased reading habits. In an era where the news points to a decline in reading I would like to encourage more people to try out being a Bookhead as one way to improve their lives. I have never really been a follower of Oprah’s television shows but one area I respect her in is her emphasis on promoting books and reading.
In the book, This Unbearable Boredom of Being, the author, Genrich Krasko, speaks of the importance of reading – “But one cannot build up one’s personality, with high self esteem and a mature approach to life without reading and reading a lot. Extinction of books will eventually bring about the extinction of Western Civilization.” Reading a wide selection of books will build our lives up with stronger minds and deeper fulfillment. Support your local library and local bookstores by making a commitment to watch less TV, less internet surfing, (except for this blog!), and make time to read more books. Start with topics and reading styles you enjoy and branch out from there. For encouraging younger people to read check out the website, http://www.readkiddoread.com/home by author James Patterson. It is a helpful resource for encouraging young people to read.
As for my daughter’s reading, back when she called me a Bookhead, a friend told me not to push books on her. Instead let her find books that she liked in her own timing. I wish I could say her recent interest in Ted Dekker books was my doing. Actually I am grateful to her English teacher and her school librarian for connecting her with books that she enjoys reading. That is the key in moving beyond ok in your life by becoming a Bookhead -- find what books you enjoy and enjoy a relaxing, fulfilling Summer read!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Following a Career Journey to More Than Ok
I am writing this after coming back home from the National Career Development Association conference in St. Louis. My thinking was challenged, so I will probably do several posts in the coming months on careers as part of our life journey. Our work life is not all of what life is about, but we do spend a lot of time in this thing called work. I remember reading Chad Foster’s book, Teenagers Preparing for the Real World, to my teenage daughter. In it he mentions we work about 85,000 hours in our lifetime. That is what I call a lot of time!
That blew me away as I had in my work life gone week to week and never thought how much time is actually involved in our work during a whole lifetime. I realized that I was almost at the halfway point. Thankfully I presently work at a career that I enjoy and find meaning in helping others. My present work with students is that of a Career Counselor. I enjoy helping students open their minds to their personal strengths and helping them connect with a career they are passionate about. One way to living life more than ok is living a career that is based on our interests and strengths.
I have had my share of jobs I wasn’t crazy about but they served a purpose of providing a roof over my head. I have been grateful to God for each job as it beat the alternative of unemployment. I will discuss living with jobs we don’t care for at another time.
How do we find a career that we can be passionate about? I am a strong believer in career assessments as part of the puzzle. I know not everyone agrees with them but I have seen them as a useful tool in my life and in the lives of students I have worked with. There are a variety of assessments to choose from. Two popular ones are the MBTI and the Strong’s Inventory. They can be discovered by searching online, contacting a local university career counseling center, or meeting with a local Counselor. The National Career Development Association has a section on their website about finding a career counselor in your area.
Some do not like the personality and interest assessments for careers, as they believe they pigeonhole people too much. Granted I have seen them used that way. Instead I believe they should be used as a tool to help people explore and open their minds to possibilities. The individual needs to be listening to the still small voice inside and not blindly focus on the results of the assessments. We are complex so there are many sides of finding a satisfying career. These many sides will be discussed in future blogs. I feel the assessments are a helpful starting point with feedback from a dedicated Career Counselor.
My favorite career website is http://www.jobhuntersbible.com/ based on the work of Richard Bolles. There you can find a wealth of information to sift through. I also highly recommend his book, What Color is Your Parachute? If you are in a career quandary at any point in the career journey -- check it out for an informative read. I am not sure if the next posting will continue on the career trend or discuss a new topic. I have many ideas on my mind at the moment. Follow your dreams!
That blew me away as I had in my work life gone week to week and never thought how much time is actually involved in our work during a whole lifetime. I realized that I was almost at the halfway point. Thankfully I presently work at a career that I enjoy and find meaning in helping others. My present work with students is that of a Career Counselor. I enjoy helping students open their minds to their personal strengths and helping them connect with a career they are passionate about. One way to living life more than ok is living a career that is based on our interests and strengths.
I have had my share of jobs I wasn’t crazy about but they served a purpose of providing a roof over my head. I have been grateful to God for each job as it beat the alternative of unemployment. I will discuss living with jobs we don’t care for at another time.
How do we find a career that we can be passionate about? I am a strong believer in career assessments as part of the puzzle. I know not everyone agrees with them but I have seen them as a useful tool in my life and in the lives of students I have worked with. There are a variety of assessments to choose from. Two popular ones are the MBTI and the Strong’s Inventory. They can be discovered by searching online, contacting a local university career counseling center, or meeting with a local Counselor. The National Career Development Association has a section on their website about finding a career counselor in your area.
Some do not like the personality and interest assessments for careers, as they believe they pigeonhole people too much. Granted I have seen them used that way. Instead I believe they should be used as a tool to help people explore and open their minds to possibilities. The individual needs to be listening to the still small voice inside and not blindly focus on the results of the assessments. We are complex so there are many sides of finding a satisfying career. These many sides will be discussed in future blogs. I feel the assessments are a helpful starting point with feedback from a dedicated Career Counselor.
My favorite career website is http://www.jobhuntersbible.com/ based on the work of Richard Bolles. There you can find a wealth of information to sift through. I also highly recommend his book, What Color is Your Parachute? If you are in a career quandary at any point in the career journey -- check it out for an informative read. I am not sure if the next posting will continue on the career trend or discuss a new topic. I have many ideas on my mind at the moment. Follow your dreams!
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