Part of life is the hardships that come our way. The hardships come in varying degrees of difficulty. Each one of us face different hardships: job loss, loved ones dying, affairs, divorce, relationship breakups, illnesses, harsh weather events, (tornadoes and hurricanes), accidents, and tragedies such as the recent shooting I mentioned in the last blog post. These are negative happenstance events that no one plans for. At least no one I know plans and desires tragedies in their lives.
When we are hit by hardships are emotions are overwhelmed. We feel like the world is crushing us. This happens due to the shock value of the event happening without our full expectation of it. Granted some things such as divorces, job loss, and deaths from long term illnesses are not sudden shocks but still the pain of sadness, depression and anxiety has a strong impact on us.
At these times when we are knocked down by life that is when our resilience can come into play. The dictionary defines resilience as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. We can bounce back up from hardships. We need not be completely crushed and debilitated from these events. It is natural to go through the “why me” stage and experience the negative emotions of what we are experiencing. But living a more than ok life means we move beyond the negative feelings to adjust on to a positive pathway.
I came across this song by musician Toby Mac which speaks to the importance of resilience in bouncing back and getting back up when life knocks us down. Click on the title of the song to hear a video of the song “Get Back Up” and reflect over what the song means to you.
Get Back Up Toby Mac
You turned away when I looked you in the eye
And hesitated when I asked if you were alright
Seems like you’re fightin’ for your life
But why, oh, why
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare
You saw it comin’ but it hit you out of nowhere
And there’s always scars when you fall that far
We lose our way, we get back up again
It’s never too late to get back up again
And one day you gonna’ shine again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever
We lose our way, we get back up again
So get up, get up, you gonna’ shine again
It’s never too late to get back up again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever
You roll out of the dawning of the day
Heart racin’ as you made your little get away
It feels like you been runnin’ all your life
But why, oh, why
So you pull away from the love that would’ve been there
And start believin’ that your situation’s unfair
But there’s always scars when you fall that far
This is love callin,’ love callin,’
Out to the broken this is love callin’
This is love callin,’ love callin,’
I am so broken
This is love callin,’ love callin’
In the song, words and phrases that relate to hardships and tragedies in my view were “middle of your nightmare” and “hit you out of nowhere”. Often on news stories about earthquakes or tornadoes people will describe the aftermath as like a nightmare. Being hit out of nowhere is the experiential feeling we have as if the wind is knocked out of you as you hear of an affair of someone you trust. Also many going through hardships, bear scars that may always be with them or take a long time to heal.
The positive phrases that speak to bouncing back from hardships are “So get up, get up, you gonna’ shine again” and “You may be knocked down, but not out forever”. It is true during hard times we are knocked down. But do we need to stay down? No, we can get back up again. Although the darkness surrounding us in the hard times feel like an eternity as the song says we will shine again. Often we shine brighter afterwards as we build up our inner self and grow in resilience ability for future hardships.
There is a spiritual element I believe to going through hardships and that is what Toby Mac is speaking of in the phrase, “This is love callin”. Sometimes in the hard times we feel alone and make ourselves more alone by pulling away from others. We become too caught up with “This is not fair” thinking. In that broken thinking we need to understand and be open to God calling to us with His love. Be open to the love of others He places around us.
I think through the hard times I have had in my life journey. I would never wish any of those times on anyone. But I can say each time I have bounced back and learned new aspects of my life journey in the process. Sometimes it took me longer to “Get back up again” and the hardest times, thankfully I had friends nearby to encourage me and often felt God’s presence during the time.
Reflection:
Think through a time of hardship you had. Write down what happened and what feelings you went through. How did you bounce back and who all was involved in the process? Fast forward past the event. Write down an event where you felt life was shining for you after the time of hardship. Be thankful for that shining time.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Critical Thinking Needed At The Start Of The New Year
This year started early on with a tragic and sad shooting rampage of Jared Loughner at Congresswoman Gifford’s gathering in Tucson, Arizona killing 6 people and seriously injuring the Congresswoman and others. Just as tragic in another sense is what happened right afterwards in the media. Some in the Liberal media immediately jumped into the issue with critical emotional based assumptions blaming Sara Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Conservative talk radio and Fox News for the killings. There was no taking time to wait for the facts. No time to take time to reflect on the pain of the victims’ families. Just emotional blame in hopes to score points against Conservatives.
As I was watching reports on Fox News I thought how all the reactions showed the need for critical thinking. Critical thinking doesn’t react. Critical thinkers wait for the facts to become clear. It is not based on emotional snap assumptions that are based in hating another group of people. That is all I saw in the reports from the Left. Critical thinking also looks at what can be learned for improving our life even through tragedies. The liberal media by blaming Conservative’s speech totally were missing the main issues in the situation. Even the President, although his speech was lauded as positive at the Memorial service still did not get it. He still emphasized that civil discourse was needed but that was not the issue in this case.
The critical thinkers in reporting on this were Fox News reporters, who were zeroing in on the shooter as being responsible. Also I had a chance to listen to hear Rush Limbaugh, who I sometimes have the opportunity to listen to on my lunch hour. He rightly was making people think through the facts that it went back to responsibility of the shooter Jared Loughner. One thing I like about Rush Limbaugh is he forces his listeners to think and even tells them to critically think through the issues. Charles Kraughthammer, who reading his columns is a great way to grow in your critical thinking skills as he presents logical and rational arguments spoke concisely to the issue of the madness of Jared was behind the killing. He pointed out that there was no evidence or facts to show the shooter even listened to Sara or Rush.
One critical thinker who I feel came closest to what we need to learn from this was Lou Dobbs. I heard him on Bill O’Reilly’s show, ( yes you have deduced correctly I am a FOX listener). He was making the connection of Jared’s drug use and his mental health decline as being a causative factor. He was still rightly putting the blame on Jared’s choices but I sensed a real caring attitude of what could have been done to help the young man before this. Lou’s point has hardly been mentioned in the news. The facts that have been presented from high school girlfriends and others who knew him that he was somewhat normal in high school but the big change began after his stronger use of Marijuana and psychedelic mushroom drugs. This may have been a major factor in what seems to be his personality change to a paranoid schizophrenic. I of course can’t say for sure but we know drugs have a negative effect on people. That is why I am so against them.
We could reduce many of these senseless killings and tragedies in life if people could learn to enjoy natural highs and stay away from drug use. I have mentioned this in the past and will continue to say it. If you have not looked at the website www.naturalhigh.org check it out today. Share this website with teachers you know as changing the lives of school kids is one of their main focuses.
S. E. Cupp in a recent column brought up also valid critical thinking ways to look at this tragic case. She didn’t emotionally point fingers. Instead she reflected and brought up valid points that I had not thought of but I do believe are very valid. Could the violence and narcissism of reality tv and Hollywood be encouraging these events in the minds of fragile people on the edge in their mental illness.
To me the main issue that has not been brought up because people do not want to deal with it is mental health. From all descriptions, Jared seemed like an average kid in his high school days. There are pictures of him playing in a jazz band and girlfriends said he was a quiet person and nice even though there were signs of anger issues, but nothing major. The problems seems to begin near the end of high school and the beginning of college as he began using and abusing drugs. That is where I feel Lou Dobbs was right on point. The college gave him a number of chances but a learning point could be how to better intervene in situations like this. Earlier when his problems started to surface if someone would have offered some mental health counseling could the tragedy had been averted?
Some people come across acting like he was crazy all his life and there was nothing anyone could have done. Or once someone starts spiraling down there is nothing can be done to help them. Positive Psychology shows that if we can spiral down we can spiral upwards as well. Since Jared is still alive I hope although the news has brushed the story under the rug, there will be practical learning for the good of society from this tragic event.
Reflection:
How is your critical thinking? Are you a reactor or do you take time to reflect? Are you an assumer or do you look for the facts? Take some time to reflect over some recent problems that have come into your life and examine what your thinking patterns were like. How can you improve your thinking to be a better problem solver?
As I was watching reports on Fox News I thought how all the reactions showed the need for critical thinking. Critical thinking doesn’t react. Critical thinkers wait for the facts to become clear. It is not based on emotional snap assumptions that are based in hating another group of people. That is all I saw in the reports from the Left. Critical thinking also looks at what can be learned for improving our life even through tragedies. The liberal media by blaming Conservative’s speech totally were missing the main issues in the situation. Even the President, although his speech was lauded as positive at the Memorial service still did not get it. He still emphasized that civil discourse was needed but that was not the issue in this case.
The critical thinkers in reporting on this were Fox News reporters, who were zeroing in on the shooter as being responsible. Also I had a chance to listen to hear Rush Limbaugh, who I sometimes have the opportunity to listen to on my lunch hour. He rightly was making people think through the facts that it went back to responsibility of the shooter Jared Loughner. One thing I like about Rush Limbaugh is he forces his listeners to think and even tells them to critically think through the issues. Charles Kraughthammer, who reading his columns is a great way to grow in your critical thinking skills as he presents logical and rational arguments spoke concisely to the issue of the madness of Jared was behind the killing. He pointed out that there was no evidence or facts to show the shooter even listened to Sara or Rush.
One critical thinker who I feel came closest to what we need to learn from this was Lou Dobbs. I heard him on Bill O’Reilly’s show, ( yes you have deduced correctly I am a FOX listener). He was making the connection of Jared’s drug use and his mental health decline as being a causative factor. He was still rightly putting the blame on Jared’s choices but I sensed a real caring attitude of what could have been done to help the young man before this. Lou’s point has hardly been mentioned in the news. The facts that have been presented from high school girlfriends and others who knew him that he was somewhat normal in high school but the big change began after his stronger use of Marijuana and psychedelic mushroom drugs. This may have been a major factor in what seems to be his personality change to a paranoid schizophrenic. I of course can’t say for sure but we know drugs have a negative effect on people. That is why I am so against them.
We could reduce many of these senseless killings and tragedies in life if people could learn to enjoy natural highs and stay away from drug use. I have mentioned this in the past and will continue to say it. If you have not looked at the website www.naturalhigh.org check it out today. Share this website with teachers you know as changing the lives of school kids is one of their main focuses.
S. E. Cupp in a recent column brought up also valid critical thinking ways to look at this tragic case. She didn’t emotionally point fingers. Instead she reflected and brought up valid points that I had not thought of but I do believe are very valid. Could the violence and narcissism of reality tv and Hollywood be encouraging these events in the minds of fragile people on the edge in their mental illness.
To me the main issue that has not been brought up because people do not want to deal with it is mental health. From all descriptions, Jared seemed like an average kid in his high school days. There are pictures of him playing in a jazz band and girlfriends said he was a quiet person and nice even though there were signs of anger issues, but nothing major. The problems seems to begin near the end of high school and the beginning of college as he began using and abusing drugs. That is where I feel Lou Dobbs was right on point. The college gave him a number of chances but a learning point could be how to better intervene in situations like this. Earlier when his problems started to surface if someone would have offered some mental health counseling could the tragedy had been averted?
Some people come across acting like he was crazy all his life and there was nothing anyone could have done. Or once someone starts spiraling down there is nothing can be done to help them. Positive Psychology shows that if we can spiral down we can spiral upwards as well. Since Jared is still alive I hope although the news has brushed the story under the rug, there will be practical learning for the good of society from this tragic event.
Reflection:
How is your critical thinking? Are you a reactor or do you take time to reflect? Are you an assumer or do you look for the facts? Take some time to reflect over some recent problems that have come into your life and examine what your thinking patterns were like. How can you improve your thinking to be a better problem solver?
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Looking Ahead Into Your 16 Life spheres
Part of moving into a new year, is looking back savoring the past direction and activities in our lives. This I have looked at over the past couple of weeks discussing the topic of savoring life. The other important aspect of a new year is the ability to start afresh in moving forward with new ideas, new goals, and new accomplishments on the journey forward. An important book that can help us with this is Creating Your Best Life by Caroline Adams Miller and Dr. Michael Frisch. Here they present research on the effectiveness of creating life lists for what we desire to accomplish in our lives.
Today I want to look near the end of the book where they bring up the idea of looking into 16 spheres that are vital to our life journey and then create goal lists of want we want for ourselves in these 16 areas.
The first sphere areas they look at are Purpose, Values & Spirituality. Our purpose is the overarching reason we see for our existence. Why has God placed you on this earth? Our values are those beliefs are the most important to us. Examine your spirituality -- what place does God have in your life. Or if you are a non-believer in God what brings meaning to your life? Personally, As a Christian spirituality is the driver of my purpose, and values for me in my life journey. The authors encourage creating a mission statement based on your purpose and values. As I have mentioned before, this can be written out as a short declaration like the U. S. Declaration of Independence. Or it can be written as a poem or some create a short mission statement like an advertising statement craft a mission statement for their life. The New Year is a profitable time to review a previous mission statement or create a new one for a new year. For new ideas on mission statements the authors suggest looking for examples on the internet. I found a helpful mission website to look at mission examples -- www.missionstatements.com .
The next sphere area they discuss is Family, Friends and Relationships. Those around us who touch our lives and the lives we touch are important to our New Year life journey. In today’s world sometime friends have taken the place of family as we are more scattered across the country. The important point is to look at your significant relationships and build a list of how you want to improve these relationships during the New Year. What goals and action steps can you create to improve this area of your life?
The spheres of the inner and outer self, is discussed next- Health, Self-esteem and Volunteering. Many New Year’s resolutions revolve around health in desiring to diet and exercise. The list and goal concept of looking at our health moves beyond a short wish spoken at midnight. Take time to write down what improvements you plan in the coming year in relation to your health. The self-esteem sphere is how we build our inner self of believing in our self and being proud of the skills and talents we have. It is that inner confidence that helps us be resilient in the face of the difficulties and changes that may face us in the New Year. Jot down a list of those skills and talents you have that you can make use of in new areas you want to challenge yourself in the New Year. The volunteering sphere relates to the fact that we do not develop ourselves for selfishness. We need to focus on relationships but with volunteering it may be not in close relationships but giving of time and personal talents to needs in your church or a community cause you are interested in. In today’s world there are so many volunteer opportunities. Check with your local church or local chamber of commerce for service opportunities. Do a brainstorming list of ways you can volunteer some of your time or resources in this new year.
These next spheres bring deeper level of fulfillment to our lives --Play , creativity, and learning. By play the authors do not mean sitting in front of the tv. Make a list of activities you enjoy and make a list of potential vacation, and weekend getaways to bring fun into your life. Think of play as active in creating your play lists for the year. Creativity. I am a big believer in creativity as it brings depth in to our existence. Place on your list the scheduling of quiet time in your life to contemplate new ways to be creative. Search on the internet sites that will help you look outside the box on creativity. As to learning, life long learning will keep the mind sharp. Create a list of books you wish to read, Think about taking a class at the local college or take an online class.
The spheres of Money, work and retirement relate to the practical side of earning a living and what are your plans in your retirement years. It is never too early to begin dreaming of that time in your life. In your list in these areas think how can you make the best use of the money resources you have. You don’t have to be a stingy miser but living simpler provides you with more funds to enjoy your retirement years better? What of your work? In your lists can you come up with ideas to turn your job in to a calling? Rate areas of your work and find which areas you thrive in and enjoy; and then areas of struggle to improve in during the year.
Their final section of spheres relate to surroundings – Home, Neighborhood, and Community. Make a list in this area and think first of improvements you desire in your home. This can be physical improvements or values of new traditions you desire to create. In your neighborhood, are there neighbors you would like to get to know. In the news recently there was a tragedy and a person mentioned they had lived next door for years and never even learned the last name of who lived beside them. Sad to say that is the norm. Then with the community this reflects back to the volunteering sphere. Are you involved in a local church or synagogue in your community? Are there ways you can be involved in the community such as literacy projects, community clean ups? Add these to your list for the year.
In the coming year we will delve more into the specific sphere areas and other topics for you to be living more than ok in the New Year. In these first few weeks of the New Year think over which sphere areas do your need more improvement in your life.
Reflection: Take some quiet time to reflect on your life in these 16 spheres. Make a list of what you want for yourself in the 16 spheres. Then prioritize which of the spheres are most important to you at this point in time.
Today I want to look near the end of the book where they bring up the idea of looking into 16 spheres that are vital to our life journey and then create goal lists of want we want for ourselves in these 16 areas.
The first sphere areas they look at are Purpose, Values & Spirituality. Our purpose is the overarching reason we see for our existence. Why has God placed you on this earth? Our values are those beliefs are the most important to us. Examine your spirituality -- what place does God have in your life. Or if you are a non-believer in God what brings meaning to your life? Personally, As a Christian spirituality is the driver of my purpose, and values for me in my life journey. The authors encourage creating a mission statement based on your purpose and values. As I have mentioned before, this can be written out as a short declaration like the U. S. Declaration of Independence. Or it can be written as a poem or some create a short mission statement like an advertising statement craft a mission statement for their life. The New Year is a profitable time to review a previous mission statement or create a new one for a new year. For new ideas on mission statements the authors suggest looking for examples on the internet. I found a helpful mission website to look at mission examples -- www.missionstatements.com .
The next sphere area they discuss is Family, Friends and Relationships. Those around us who touch our lives and the lives we touch are important to our New Year life journey. In today’s world sometime friends have taken the place of family as we are more scattered across the country. The important point is to look at your significant relationships and build a list of how you want to improve these relationships during the New Year. What goals and action steps can you create to improve this area of your life?
The spheres of the inner and outer self, is discussed next- Health, Self-esteem and Volunteering. Many New Year’s resolutions revolve around health in desiring to diet and exercise. The list and goal concept of looking at our health moves beyond a short wish spoken at midnight. Take time to write down what improvements you plan in the coming year in relation to your health. The self-esteem sphere is how we build our inner self of believing in our self and being proud of the skills and talents we have. It is that inner confidence that helps us be resilient in the face of the difficulties and changes that may face us in the New Year. Jot down a list of those skills and talents you have that you can make use of in new areas you want to challenge yourself in the New Year. The volunteering sphere relates to the fact that we do not develop ourselves for selfishness. We need to focus on relationships but with volunteering it may be not in close relationships but giving of time and personal talents to needs in your church or a community cause you are interested in. In today’s world there are so many volunteer opportunities. Check with your local church or local chamber of commerce for service opportunities. Do a brainstorming list of ways you can volunteer some of your time or resources in this new year.
These next spheres bring deeper level of fulfillment to our lives --Play , creativity, and learning. By play the authors do not mean sitting in front of the tv. Make a list of activities you enjoy and make a list of potential vacation, and weekend getaways to bring fun into your life. Think of play as active in creating your play lists for the year. Creativity. I am a big believer in creativity as it brings depth in to our existence. Place on your list the scheduling of quiet time in your life to contemplate new ways to be creative. Search on the internet sites that will help you look outside the box on creativity. As to learning, life long learning will keep the mind sharp. Create a list of books you wish to read, Think about taking a class at the local college or take an online class.
The spheres of Money, work and retirement relate to the practical side of earning a living and what are your plans in your retirement years. It is never too early to begin dreaming of that time in your life. In your list in these areas think how can you make the best use of the money resources you have. You don’t have to be a stingy miser but living simpler provides you with more funds to enjoy your retirement years better? What of your work? In your lists can you come up with ideas to turn your job in to a calling? Rate areas of your work and find which areas you thrive in and enjoy; and then areas of struggle to improve in during the year.
Their final section of spheres relate to surroundings – Home, Neighborhood, and Community. Make a list in this area and think first of improvements you desire in your home. This can be physical improvements or values of new traditions you desire to create. In your neighborhood, are there neighbors you would like to get to know. In the news recently there was a tragedy and a person mentioned they had lived next door for years and never even learned the last name of who lived beside them. Sad to say that is the norm. Then with the community this reflects back to the volunteering sphere. Are you involved in a local church or synagogue in your community? Are there ways you can be involved in the community such as literacy projects, community clean ups? Add these to your list for the year.
In the coming year we will delve more into the specific sphere areas and other topics for you to be living more than ok in the New Year. In these first few weeks of the New Year think over which sphere areas do your need more improvement in your life.
Reflection: Take some quiet time to reflect on your life in these 16 spheres. Make a list of what you want for yourself in the 16 spheres. Then prioritize which of the spheres are most important to you at this point in time.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Reflecting On Your Life Pathways
Moving into the year 2011 instead of my usual looking ahead to this new year I took sometime to continue on last week’s theme of savoring. I took some time to reflect on paths I have taken in my life. Each of us on our journey through life take a variety of pathways in our life journey.
What really made me think about this was a song and a video that was done with the song. Recently my wife sent me an email with a song by trumpeter Chris Botti embedded in it. The song’s name was The Way Home. I enjoyed the song and searched for it on the internet as I wanted to find the cd it was from. In my search I came across this You Tube video done of the song. Take a few moments to watch this video and be thinking of pathways to your home at various times in your life; while you listen and view the vivid scenic photos of pathways. Click on this title to view the video --
The Way Home
The melody of the song is very catchy and has a feeling of a traveling song. I could imagine myself strolling down a pathway or listening to it in a car stereo traveling down a road home. Then as I was looking at the photography of the variety of pathways I thought of pathways to various homesteads in my life. The first one I remembered was my drives from Chicago, from school breaks and holidays to visit Ohio with my mother while she was still living. I usually always took the same pathway of the Indiana and Ohio turnpikes. In the Winter many times the path was slick and icy. In warmer weather when I was young I usually traveled home at night and would drive the turnpike with my windows rolled down with Kansas or Deep Purple blaring from the speakers to keep me awake. This remembrance reminded me of my visits with mom that I enjoyed and missed after she passed away.
Another pathway that came to mind was when I lived on the far North side of Chicago on Peterson Avenue. I had one favorite pathway especially during a period of time I was going through some difficulties and depression. I would walk from Peterson Avenue on the far North side down to North Avenue Beach. In the Spring and Summer this walk would give me time to reflect on issues in my life and think over ideas for the future. I always enjoyed the people watching as well as the exercise the walk gave me. Getting out of the apartment and enjoying the journey on this Chicago pathway, helped me through some of my most difficult and dark days during that period of time in Chicago.
Then the last pathway I will mention amidst the myriad of pathways I have had in my life is a pathway from Chicago to Brownsville, TX. That was a pathway to my present homestead in Brownsville, TX. I won’t say final homestead because one never knows what other moves are in the future. This was a pathway that initially had much uncertainty. It was a move to be where the lady I loved had moved to. She had a nice job in Brownsville but the worry was, what was the chance of my finding work there? Friends who knew me best in Chicago and Ohio told me not to hesitate but to move out in faith and follow the path of love God was guiding me on. Their advice gave this non-risk taker the added impetus to step out and drive this pathway to what would become a new way home as the song is alluding to. Reflecting over the past -- going on 11 years of marriage reminds me that this pathway was guided by God as it has been the best years of my life. Of course one thing I pick up from the energy in Chris Botti’s song The Way Home, is that each path way has its own positive energy and beauty so I have a hope that the future years new pathways will be just as beautiful.
Before you begin planning new ideas for your new year take some time to reflect over some of the pathways home in your past years of your life journey. What were some of the hills and valleys you faced in the pathway? Every path has pitfalls and holes we trip over. But if we mindfully reflect over our pathways we can be reminded of the beauty in each pathway and reflect over the joy in the journey that we experienced.
Reflection:
Take some time in a quiet place and jot down on paper 3-5 of the Pathways home you have journeyed on. Choose one pathway and write your feelings about it. What were some hardships you faced? What were some beautiful things you enjoyed about the pathway? Reflect over the joy in that journey and write what you are thankful for concerning that period of your life.
What really made me think about this was a song and a video that was done with the song. Recently my wife sent me an email with a song by trumpeter Chris Botti embedded in it. The song’s name was The Way Home. I enjoyed the song and searched for it on the internet as I wanted to find the cd it was from. In my search I came across this You Tube video done of the song. Take a few moments to watch this video and be thinking of pathways to your home at various times in your life; while you listen and view the vivid scenic photos of pathways. Click on this title to view the video --
The Way Home
The melody of the song is very catchy and has a feeling of a traveling song. I could imagine myself strolling down a pathway or listening to it in a car stereo traveling down a road home. Then as I was looking at the photography of the variety of pathways I thought of pathways to various homesteads in my life. The first one I remembered was my drives from Chicago, from school breaks and holidays to visit Ohio with my mother while she was still living. I usually always took the same pathway of the Indiana and Ohio turnpikes. In the Winter many times the path was slick and icy. In warmer weather when I was young I usually traveled home at night and would drive the turnpike with my windows rolled down with Kansas or Deep Purple blaring from the speakers to keep me awake. This remembrance reminded me of my visits with mom that I enjoyed and missed after she passed away.
Another pathway that came to mind was when I lived on the far North side of Chicago on Peterson Avenue. I had one favorite pathway especially during a period of time I was going through some difficulties and depression. I would walk from Peterson Avenue on the far North side down to North Avenue Beach. In the Spring and Summer this walk would give me time to reflect on issues in my life and think over ideas for the future. I always enjoyed the people watching as well as the exercise the walk gave me. Getting out of the apartment and enjoying the journey on this Chicago pathway, helped me through some of my most difficult and dark days during that period of time in Chicago.
Then the last pathway I will mention amidst the myriad of pathways I have had in my life is a pathway from Chicago to Brownsville, TX. That was a pathway to my present homestead in Brownsville, TX. I won’t say final homestead because one never knows what other moves are in the future. This was a pathway that initially had much uncertainty. It was a move to be where the lady I loved had moved to. She had a nice job in Brownsville but the worry was, what was the chance of my finding work there? Friends who knew me best in Chicago and Ohio told me not to hesitate but to move out in faith and follow the path of love God was guiding me on. Their advice gave this non-risk taker the added impetus to step out and drive this pathway to what would become a new way home as the song is alluding to. Reflecting over the past -- going on 11 years of marriage reminds me that this pathway was guided by God as it has been the best years of my life. Of course one thing I pick up from the energy in Chris Botti’s song The Way Home, is that each path way has its own positive energy and beauty so I have a hope that the future years new pathways will be just as beautiful.
Before you begin planning new ideas for your new year take some time to reflect over some of the pathways home in your past years of your life journey. What were some of the hills and valleys you faced in the pathway? Every path has pitfalls and holes we trip over. But if we mindfully reflect over our pathways we can be reminded of the beauty in each pathway and reflect over the joy in the journey that we experienced.
Reflection:
Take some time in a quiet place and jot down on paper 3-5 of the Pathways home you have journeyed on. Choose one pathway and write your feelings about it. What were some hardships you faced? What were some beautiful things you enjoyed about the pathway? Reflect over the joy in that journey and write what you are thankful for concerning that period of your life.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Building the Habit of Savoring
Another Christmas is here so time to slow down and savor the memories from the distant past and this past year. Writing Christmas cards to friends bring up memories of past interactions and activities with those who have been close over the years. Christmas school plays and holiday church services bring back memories of childhood to reminisce while sipping hot cinnamon apple cider. Christmas is a natural time to savor life as it is a holiday season that has so many memories attached to it. Since it is at the end of the year it allows as a good point to reflect over the events of the past year.
Living the more than ok life we need to savor life throughout the year not just at the end of the year. The benefits of savoring life each week is that we lower our stress levels as we learn to slow down and smell the roses in our daily life. Much of our stress and anxiety come from being on the go, go , go track of life and not noticing what is really going on in our lives. Our lack of in the present mindfulness makes our lives disjointed and disconnected which increases our stressed out feelings of being out of control.
Lisa Graham McMinn author of The Contented Soul: The Art of Savoring Life has this to say about savoring life: “We are surrounded by simple pleasures and the possibility of sipping and savoring our very earthy, very physical life. Contentment awaits us, inviting to savor each moment, and in doing so to honor the God who gave us life”. In her book she gives practical exercises to savor the world around us and to savor our relationship to God. Building up the habit of savoring helps us to see the importance of slowing our lives down, so we can enjoy life and living more.
With savoring, instead of scattering our thoughts continually we learn to take a deep breath and focus on the hummingbird at the feeder; the colored leaves on the tree in autumn; watching the variety of people walking through the mall, while we sit enjoying a cup of coffee. It is appreciating creation and the little joys of life which leads to being thankful in our spirits to the Creator God. Savoring is a habit that brings joy and relaxation into our lives.
Another benefit to savoring it yields the fruit of contentment in our lives which counters the constant urge for more and more stuff in our lives. Christmas has been turned into a consumer buy-a-thon instead of celebrating God’s loves and grace to mankind in the story of Jesus. We can live richer lives in savoring and appreciating what we have instead of a continual angst to desire more and more of the newest commodity to hit the market.
One passage from the writings of the Apostle Paul in Philippians relates to this, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise…. For I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.” Be content and savor, soak in all the good in life. If our minds, our thinking, are focused on the good in life and all that is lovely around us we are savoring. We are taking the time to slow down and truly enjoy the life God wants us to enjoy.
I have mentioned slowing down a couple of times. There is a helpful website http://slowdownnow.org on the internet that is focused on encouraging people to slow down and shows the benefits of enjoying a slower life. As this year ends and you work on goals for the New Year make one of your list items for the New Year to take time throughout each week to savor the life around you.
Reflection
Spend 10 minutes sitting outside still in a chair. Sit upright and close your eyes. Listen to the sounds around you. Then open your eyes and stay seated and soak in through your eyes all the details of what you see. Write down your feelings of the experience.
Take a walk quietly through your neighborhood or a nature setting without an I-Pod in your ears. Savor the sights, smells and sounds around you during the walk. Write down the feelings of the experience.
Go to http://slowdownnow.org and jot down a couple of ideas you can incorporate in your life to help you live more slowly.
Living the more than ok life we need to savor life throughout the year not just at the end of the year. The benefits of savoring life each week is that we lower our stress levels as we learn to slow down and smell the roses in our daily life. Much of our stress and anxiety come from being on the go, go , go track of life and not noticing what is really going on in our lives. Our lack of in the present mindfulness makes our lives disjointed and disconnected which increases our stressed out feelings of being out of control.
Lisa Graham McMinn author of The Contented Soul: The Art of Savoring Life has this to say about savoring life: “We are surrounded by simple pleasures and the possibility of sipping and savoring our very earthy, very physical life. Contentment awaits us, inviting to savor each moment, and in doing so to honor the God who gave us life”. In her book she gives practical exercises to savor the world around us and to savor our relationship to God. Building up the habit of savoring helps us to see the importance of slowing our lives down, so we can enjoy life and living more.
With savoring, instead of scattering our thoughts continually we learn to take a deep breath and focus on the hummingbird at the feeder; the colored leaves on the tree in autumn; watching the variety of people walking through the mall, while we sit enjoying a cup of coffee. It is appreciating creation and the little joys of life which leads to being thankful in our spirits to the Creator God. Savoring is a habit that brings joy and relaxation into our lives.
Another benefit to savoring it yields the fruit of contentment in our lives which counters the constant urge for more and more stuff in our lives. Christmas has been turned into a consumer buy-a-thon instead of celebrating God’s loves and grace to mankind in the story of Jesus. We can live richer lives in savoring and appreciating what we have instead of a continual angst to desire more and more of the newest commodity to hit the market.
One passage from the writings of the Apostle Paul in Philippians relates to this, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise…. For I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.” Be content and savor, soak in all the good in life. If our minds, our thinking, are focused on the good in life and all that is lovely around us we are savoring. We are taking the time to slow down and truly enjoy the life God wants us to enjoy.
I have mentioned slowing down a couple of times. There is a helpful website http://slowdownnow.org on the internet that is focused on encouraging people to slow down and shows the benefits of enjoying a slower life. As this year ends and you work on goals for the New Year make one of your list items for the New Year to take time throughout each week to savor the life around you.
Reflection
Spend 10 minutes sitting outside still in a chair. Sit upright and close your eyes. Listen to the sounds around you. Then open your eyes and stay seated and soak in through your eyes all the details of what you see. Write down your feelings of the experience.
Take a walk quietly through your neighborhood or a nature setting without an I-Pod in your ears. Savor the sights, smells and sounds around you during the walk. Write down the feelings of the experience.
Go to http://slowdownnow.org and jot down a couple of ideas you can incorporate in your life to help you live more slowly.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Exploring New Places
This is a continuation of last week’s story of our cruise experience. Aside from the delicious food, enjoyable activities aboard ship and the freedom to relax with a good book poolside; there are travel excursions offered at each Port of Call. These give you an opportunity to explore new areas and try out new activities.
Exploring helps us in breaking out of boring everyday sameness. The process aids in our knowledge of the world around us, increases our multicultural awareness, and increases our appreciation for life and history. Some of the activities offered on our cruise were snorkeling, scuba diving, and walking up a waterfall in Jamaica which connects with those who enjoy higher risk taking activities. I am a low risk taker so I usually am not found on those activities.
The excursions on cruises are extra expenses so you need to watch your budget. That is why with our group of four we chose to go on the Tulum Mayan ruins tour. Click here on Tulum Ruins to view more information about the ruins and photos
The Tulum ruins are set on a Cliffside with access to a beach below. The tour guide who was very knowledgeable on Mayan history shared how the Tulum site was an area for the higher aristocrats of the Mayan society and for religious purposes. From artifacts found buried the guide mentioned Tulum was a major trading center in its days.
We were lucky that our guide was not trying to be a Las Vegas comedian but instead filled us in with historical information about the Mayan culture and the ruins at Tulum. One sad item to learn was that at its height the Mayan culture had libraries with thousands of books. These were destroyed by early visiting priests who believed their culture to be evil. We were told of the mass of Mayan literature only three books survive today and they are in European University libraries. This story shows the importance of respecting other cultures. We can disagree but to destroy without fully understanding one another is a travesty of history.
The guide told us that it is still a mystery why a culture as advanced as the Mayans disappeared so quickly with no reason why. The archaeological excavations continue today as they had recently unburied another dwelling site. So maybe the mystery will be solved at sometime in the future.
Educational tours such as this one, is one of my favorite exploring activities. Looking at the layout of the small city of Tulum, I used my imagination and wondered what life was like in the 1200’s when Tulum was in its zenith period.
Of course you do not need to go on a cruise to explore. There are sites all over this country to explore and around the world. In your local area where you live there may be small museums and historical sites where you can visit and learn from.
There are many types of exploring activities you can partake in. I am emphasizing an example of historical site exploring as that is something my family and I enjoy. Here are a list of websites you can visit to peruse historical sites in the U.S.A. and around the world.
U.S. sites to see of historical importance:
http://www.historyplace.com/tourism/usa.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._National_Historic_Landmarks_by_state
World Historical locations:
http://www.worldhistoricalsites.com/
http://www.historicalsitesoftheworld.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Heritage_Site
Our journey on this earth is so brief and when you explore websites as those listed above you can see there is so much to do in life. There is no time to be bored with an ok life. We have opportunities in life to flourish and live more than ok in exploring the vast opportunities around the world.
Reflection:
Go back to the cruise websites from last week and explore some of the travel excursions offered on the cruise ships.
View a couple of the above websites on historical locations and write down 5 you would like to visit in your lifetime.
Take 15 minutes of quiet time to write about one of your favorite exploring times in your life journey.
Exploring helps us in breaking out of boring everyday sameness. The process aids in our knowledge of the world around us, increases our multicultural awareness, and increases our appreciation for life and history. Some of the activities offered on our cruise were snorkeling, scuba diving, and walking up a waterfall in Jamaica which connects with those who enjoy higher risk taking activities. I am a low risk taker so I usually am not found on those activities.
The excursions on cruises are extra expenses so you need to watch your budget. That is why with our group of four we chose to go on the Tulum Mayan ruins tour. Click here on Tulum Ruins to view more information about the ruins and photos
The Tulum ruins are set on a Cliffside with access to a beach below. The tour guide who was very knowledgeable on Mayan history shared how the Tulum site was an area for the higher aristocrats of the Mayan society and for religious purposes. From artifacts found buried the guide mentioned Tulum was a major trading center in its days.
We were lucky that our guide was not trying to be a Las Vegas comedian but instead filled us in with historical information about the Mayan culture and the ruins at Tulum. One sad item to learn was that at its height the Mayan culture had libraries with thousands of books. These were destroyed by early visiting priests who believed their culture to be evil. We were told of the mass of Mayan literature only three books survive today and they are in European University libraries. This story shows the importance of respecting other cultures. We can disagree but to destroy without fully understanding one another is a travesty of history.
The guide told us that it is still a mystery why a culture as advanced as the Mayans disappeared so quickly with no reason why. The archaeological excavations continue today as they had recently unburied another dwelling site. So maybe the mystery will be solved at sometime in the future.
Educational tours such as this one, is one of my favorite exploring activities. Looking at the layout of the small city of Tulum, I used my imagination and wondered what life was like in the 1200’s when Tulum was in its zenith period.
Of course you do not need to go on a cruise to explore. There are sites all over this country to explore and around the world. In your local area where you live there may be small museums and historical sites where you can visit and learn from.
There are many types of exploring activities you can partake in. I am emphasizing an example of historical site exploring as that is something my family and I enjoy. Here are a list of websites you can visit to peruse historical sites in the U.S.A. and around the world.
U.S. sites to see of historical importance:
http://www.historyplace.com/tourism/usa.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._National_Historic_Landmarks_by_state
World Historical locations:
http://www.worldhistoricalsites.com/
http://www.historicalsitesoftheworld.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Heritage_Site
Our journey on this earth is so brief and when you explore websites as those listed above you can see there is so much to do in life. There is no time to be bored with an ok life. We have opportunities in life to flourish and live more than ok in exploring the vast opportunities around the world.
Reflection:
Go back to the cruise websites from last week and explore some of the travel excursions offered on the cruise ships.
View a couple of the above websites on historical locations and write down 5 you would like to visit in your lifetime.
Take 15 minutes of quiet time to write about one of your favorite exploring times in your life journey.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Enjoy A Cruise For A More Than OK Life
I am writing this posting from a cruise ship vacation with my wife, daughter, and my third grade teacher. This is one vacation I never thought I would do. In the past I always thought of cruise ships as people stuffed into an overgrown tin can floating in the ocean with hungry sharks underneath waiting for a snack. The idea of being on one was as enjoyable as eating a plate of artichokes. And I hate artichokes! So how did I wind up on the Voyager of the Seas on a Royal Caribbean cruise??
This all started one Saturday in the Summer when I attended a creative journaling seminar at El Rocio, a local retreat center in Mission, Texas. The seminar was led by Dr. Marsha Nelson, a therapist who focuses on creative therapy techniques. She gave each of us at the training a pamphlet about a cruise group to the Caribbean she was planning in December. I dutifully took one and showed it to my wife when I went home. She excitedly said, “we need to go!”. Then my daughter overheard and was all excited ,”Yeah! We are going on a cruise!” I was thinking, “Oh, great! Floating in a tin can for a week! How do I get out of this!”.
I told them I would check to see if I could get off work. My perfect out! The cruise was during the end of the university semester so I probably would not receive time off. Well -- I am here so I did get the time off.
When we boarded the ship, my wife, daughter, my third grade teacher and I were amazed by the ship. The size was enormous and the décor was like a top scale hotel. We looked at the daily planner schedule and there were so many things to do, special classes on different topics from scrapbooking, to cooking, to better health classes. Each evening they have talented entertaining and music of all varieties throughout the day. The food is all deliciously prepared and you can eat round the clock if you wanted or would be able to. State of the art exercise facilities are available to work off the pounds from all the food. It was awesome to be working out on an elliptical machine staring out at the sea water with the sun reflecting its rays at sunrise.
All the activities and entertainment have made this an enjoyable time. Also the freedom where my daughter can go off do her thing, my wife and my third grade teacher can relax poolside, and I am free to work on my writing and reading. Of course being a bookhead I need my reading time. Yet the most enjoyable part of the cruise is the wonderful people on board. We came up from the Rio Grande Valley with the nicest group of folks that Dr. Marsha Nelson put together for the trip. Beyond our small group with all the friendliness between fellow cruisers you don’t feel like a stranger.
First of all I want to mention the workers on the ship. I can tell they are dedicated to great customer service. They go out of their way to serve and each person from those at the information desk to the dining helpers always have a smile on their face. Then the other cruisers on the ship are so friendly. You can strike up a conversation with about anyone. I began to wonder if they slip a happiness drug in to the water supply? How else could the emotional atmosphere be so congenial?
Thinking about it further, there are several more probable variables other than a happy drug. One thought that comes to mind is the superb respectful customer service along with their friendliness of the workers helps create a climate in which the friendly spirit spreads throughout the ship. Another is that the type of people who go on cruises are more open to meeting new people, so that aids in the people on the ship having a closer sense of fellowship.
Another reason for the relaxed atmosphere is there are so many things you can do and no pressure to do any particular activity. Family members can do different activities or do the same thing. You can eat when you want, sleep when you want. SO no one feels pressured. I have had several people tell me before taking the cruise that a cruise is one vacation where you go home relaxed and not tired. Many vacations I have been on you feel like you need a vacation from the vacation. This cruise is almost over and I still feel relaxed.
Vacations are an important part of living more than ok. We need time to break away from our work and the routines of life. Vacations are a way to learn new things about the world around us, other people and people groups. This experience of being on a cruise has opened my eyes to a new way to vacation. I would encourage anyone now to be open to having a cruise experience as one of their vacations. I know my family and I will be trying other cruises in the future.
Reflection:
Make a list of your top 5 vacation spots. Then go online and search for cruises that may go to one of those locations. Take some time to explore cruise websites to see what is all open to you in a cruise experience. Create a goal plan for doing a cruise vacation.
This all started one Saturday in the Summer when I attended a creative journaling seminar at El Rocio, a local retreat center in Mission, Texas. The seminar was led by Dr. Marsha Nelson, a therapist who focuses on creative therapy techniques. She gave each of us at the training a pamphlet about a cruise group to the Caribbean she was planning in December. I dutifully took one and showed it to my wife when I went home. She excitedly said, “we need to go!”. Then my daughter overheard and was all excited ,”Yeah! We are going on a cruise!” I was thinking, “Oh, great! Floating in a tin can for a week! How do I get out of this!”.
I told them I would check to see if I could get off work. My perfect out! The cruise was during the end of the university semester so I probably would not receive time off. Well -- I am here so I did get the time off.
When we boarded the ship, my wife, daughter, my third grade teacher and I were amazed by the ship. The size was enormous and the décor was like a top scale hotel. We looked at the daily planner schedule and there were so many things to do, special classes on different topics from scrapbooking, to cooking, to better health classes. Each evening they have talented entertaining and music of all varieties throughout the day. The food is all deliciously prepared and you can eat round the clock if you wanted or would be able to. State of the art exercise facilities are available to work off the pounds from all the food. It was awesome to be working out on an elliptical machine staring out at the sea water with the sun reflecting its rays at sunrise.
All the activities and entertainment have made this an enjoyable time. Also the freedom where my daughter can go off do her thing, my wife and my third grade teacher can relax poolside, and I am free to work on my writing and reading. Of course being a bookhead I need my reading time. Yet the most enjoyable part of the cruise is the wonderful people on board. We came up from the Rio Grande Valley with the nicest group of folks that Dr. Marsha Nelson put together for the trip. Beyond our small group with all the friendliness between fellow cruisers you don’t feel like a stranger.
First of all I want to mention the workers on the ship. I can tell they are dedicated to great customer service. They go out of their way to serve and each person from those at the information desk to the dining helpers always have a smile on their face. Then the other cruisers on the ship are so friendly. You can strike up a conversation with about anyone. I began to wonder if they slip a happiness drug in to the water supply? How else could the emotional atmosphere be so congenial?
Thinking about it further, there are several more probable variables other than a happy drug. One thought that comes to mind is the superb respectful customer service along with their friendliness of the workers helps create a climate in which the friendly spirit spreads throughout the ship. Another is that the type of people who go on cruises are more open to meeting new people, so that aids in the people on the ship having a closer sense of fellowship.
Another reason for the relaxed atmosphere is there are so many things you can do and no pressure to do any particular activity. Family members can do different activities or do the same thing. You can eat when you want, sleep when you want. SO no one feels pressured. I have had several people tell me before taking the cruise that a cruise is one vacation where you go home relaxed and not tired. Many vacations I have been on you feel like you need a vacation from the vacation. This cruise is almost over and I still feel relaxed.
Vacations are an important part of living more than ok. We need time to break away from our work and the routines of life. Vacations are a way to learn new things about the world around us, other people and people groups. This experience of being on a cruise has opened my eyes to a new way to vacation. I would encourage anyone now to be open to having a cruise experience as one of their vacations. I know my family and I will be trying other cruises in the future.
Reflection:
Make a list of your top 5 vacation spots. Then go online and search for cruises that may go to one of those locations. Take some time to explore cruise websites to see what is all open to you in a cruise experience. Create a goal plan for doing a cruise vacation.
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