Importance of Nostalgia In Our Life Experience

One magazine that I recommend to counseling clients is Breathe. It is a magazine that is produced in the U.K. with articles that focus in on mindfulness and wellbeing. The writers often share research studies on anxiety, depression and wellbeing solutions from psychologists around the world. Their website is www.breathemagazine.com . You can find their magazine at bookstores such as Barnes & Noble, grocery stores and pharmacies. The most recent edition I purchased was on the topic of memory. There were a variety of articles related to aspects of memory. There were ideas on memory boosting, Dream work and memory, time, remembering friends and nostalgia. Probably due to my last post of reflecting on the life of my favorite teacher the article that stood out to me the most was one about nostalgia. The title of the article was “Look Back and Wonder”, by Ashley Lampard. Merriam Webster defines nostalgia as “a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition.” Last week as I shared about the death of my favorite teacher, Mrs. Clifford, There definitely was the feeling of looking at the interrelations of her friendship over the years and made me reflect on my elementary school years. There was sadness in the loss but joy in thinking back to all the good times in third grade and throughout the life journey in my relationship with her and her husband. These feelings related well to the part of the article that emphasized how nostalgia provides a “warmth from the past”. Thinking over the years since Mrs. Clifford was such a positive role model I was reminded of many positive aspects of her life and how that affected my growth and choices for the better. In the article there are ideas listed as to how to encourage Nostalgia. Some of the ideas listed were: Go through an old photo album, visit childhood hangouts, make a family recipe, reminisce with an old friend. Other ideas I thought of would be to write out a couple of your favorite memories in a journal entry. Listen to some of your favorite songs from that time period you are reflecting on . Make a gratitude list of what you are thankful for about your past. Obviously we don’t want to live in the past all the time yet when you take a nostalgic time travel in your mind back to the past it can be a positive experience. Times like that help you see how you have developed over the years and how you can continue to grow in your future. Reflection: Think over a favorite person in your past and write down how they affected you for the better. List a few of your favorite memories from the past. Why were they important to you?

Source of Inspiration For My Reading and Writing

Doing my blog was something I enjoyed over the past years but in 2020 as covid started up and I had finished my PhD I stopped. I am not fully certain what stopped me. I was exhausted after writing my dissertation. Then researching what was going on with covid was a time waster. Settling into work-life and family life after all my work on my dissertation took me off track as well. Underlying, was maybe thoughts of what good is the blog as I was not certain anyone was getting any good out of it. A life event happened a couple weeks ago that provided inspiration to get back to the blog. On May 14th, 2022 I received news that my favorite teacher, Mrs. Verna Clifford passed away. I have been trying to call her and felt something was wrong. It was sad news to hear for those of us who loved her but I knew she was joined now with her husband Parke in heaven. I joked with her friend who gave me the news that Parke on her arrival in heaven probably told her, “Verna, what took you so long". Mrs. Clifford had been my 3rd grade teacher at Woodford Elementary School in Barberton, Ohio. When my mom passed away in 1993 I kept in touch with her and Parke until Parke passed away in 2010. Each time I went back to Barberton to visit I would see them and later just her alone. After Parke passed away we took Mrs. Clifford on a cruise with us. That was an enjoyable time as she had never done a cruise and that is one thing she and Parke never got around to doing. What made her such an inspirational teacher? She was kind and caring. Those are two characteristi

cs that were her mainstays. Compared to other teachers I never remember seeing her get upset. On discipline in the classroom she would be firm with troublemakers but not lose her cool. She inspired a love of learning. Each week she read aloud books to the class and also encouraged reading of books that we students enjoyed. She also had us write stories in class. Her emphasis on reading and writing helped me improve in those areas. This was also the time period my love of reading took off. When I started my blog she would read it and enjoyed my book, Living More Than OK that came out of the blog. After my PhD was done she encouraged me to get back to blogging but I let life and the craziness of the COVID time period take me away from writing. Now that she is gone Mrs. Clifford’s voice is one reminding me to go back to something I enjoy which is writing this blog. So I will begin anew each week writing about Living More Than OK topics and books that I find inspiring.

I will never forget the inspiration on the love of reading, books and writing that Mrs. Verna Clifford built into my life as a teacher and then a friend later in life.

Worshiping During Vacation

I have been away from writing here due to the business of work-life and decompressing from my stress from finishing up my PhD dissertation. Thankfully I graduated with my PhD in Psychology with Capella University. So I need to get back to writing here. This new posting looks at vacations.

We all go on vacations for various reasons. The prime reason for many is to take a break from the daily grind of everyday life. A couple of weeks ago we took a short vacation trip to Redding, California with a primary reason of visiting a church, Bethel, that is known for its worship music. As a family we have always enjoyed their worship music so we wanted to experience worship there. We learned that many people travel to Redding to experience Worship at Bethel Church. Matter of fact, I was speaking with a local at an Indian restaurant and mentioning we were in town to visit Bethel he said, “That does not surprise me.” He shared many come to visit that church.

Of course, we also enjoyed the amazing nature of Redding and Sacramento while we were there. One of the most pleasant nature experiences was the Turtle Bay Exploration Park and the Sundial Bridge pictured above. The Sacramento River runs through it. Also in Sacramento near the hotel we stayed there was a wonderful park with a pond we walked around. We are not big into shopping so it is the nature sights that move us.

We went to Bethel Church and found they have a prayer chapel that we enjoyed going to each morning for personal prayer and devotion time in the mornings. We attended two services, one Friday evening was a live stream to their college center where we were; as the main church was having a retreat for church members only. We were a little disappointed, but not with the worship music and the teaching that night was by visiting Pastor Erwin McManus from Mosaic Church in Hollywood. He gave a powerful message encouraging how Christians should be the church in their daily life. He pointed out how Christians should be there best in life in their career and their best in interactions with others.
On Sunday we attended worship at the main church campus. The worship music was very inspiring and pointed to Christ. Then the sermon that day by Pastor Eric Johnson presented an important reminder that the Christian life is not seeking blessings but to follow Christ as a servant. He used the apostle Peter as an example of servanthood. Peter was not perfect and we are not perfect. God used Peter for great things and we can do great things.

With all the bad news of the Corona virus as we left for California, the nature of California and the worship and teaching at Bethel refreshed our spirits. This vacation gave us a new look at how to do a vacation. As we look across the country there are other vacations we are looking forward to visit and listen to pastors we want to hear as part of the vacation experience.

Reflection:
Some go on vacations for history, some go for fun, some go for cultural events, and our recent vacation was for visiting a church my wife and I wanted to visit. What are aspects of a vacation that you look for when you go on a vacation?

Big Goal Finished and Creating New Goals

Moving into the New Year of 2020 I have been in conversations with people working on personal goals for the New Year. In my book Living More Than OK, I give one chapter to dreaming big and setting goals. For the recent past years, my main goal has been to finish my long range goal of my PhD in psychology. As I started this year I received notice from Capella University that my dissertation was approved for publishing and that I met requirements for graduation. This was an amazing feeling as I never thought I would finish. The event also made me think what next goal is the right direction for me.

There was so much physical and emotional energy tied into finishing my dissertation that now I need to regroup mentally and move forward. As I regroup mentally I reflected on a short article in the most recent issue of Success magazine. The article was Always Looking Forward 3 Goal-Setting Myths by motivational coach Simon T. Bailey. He was trying to reframe thoughts on goals by looking at a few myths about goals.

The myths of goals he mentioned were: “The Goal is the Destination”, “Goals are Fixed Once they’re written down”, and “I need to wait until I can apply a particular framework perfectly”.

With the first myth, “The Goal is the Destination” his reminder was that we sometimes don’t perfectly reach our goal. Changes occur in life and maybe we reach a point where a better option occurs. In my case I did reach my goal of the PhD, but it took longer than expected with the twists and turns of life. Many times I wanted to give up but I had a Mentor professor who encouraged me to not give up. I went so far as posting a sign “Never Give Up” to remind me.

The second myth “Goals are Fixed Once they’re written down” reveals the important of re-editing goals as time moves on. Be open to shifts that require a change in your goal. He does bring out the point that it is important to write goals down but be open to making changes as needed. This reminds me of Dr. Jim Bright’s work on Chaos Theory of Careers in keeping an open and flexible mind as we work on goals in our lives.

Then the final myth he considers is “I need to wait until I can apply a particular framework perfectly”. Is there an exact formula to reaching a goal? Some books and experts promote that, but waiting for the perfect wording may keep a person from never moving forward.

The important thing is to take time to think through where you want to go with your plans for the future in this new year. If you follow a religious faith take extra time in prayer to gain insights into which path to follow. With my PhD done that is where I am at now. What direction or plan does God have for me to move in now? There is a purpose for us in every season of life so begin to work on a goal to begin your journey in 2020.

Reflection: What is the most recent goal you have achieved? Did it change any from its initial version? What is a goal or goals for your New Year?

Music Adds to the Holiday Spirit

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. Time-wise it comes right after my favorite holiday Thanksgiving. With Christmas, the magic of the holiday comes for me, out of the amazing love story that is the basis of my worldview of Christianity. Other world religions main themes focus on people, striving after trying to reach God. With Christianity the theme is God reaching down to us humans by sending his Son, Jesus to sacrifice his life for us. The church we have been attending has had a message series, The Gift, and Jesus if the gift to us.

Along with the message of the story of Christmas the music adds to the Holiday Season. Music has always been important to my life and in the past years many of my blog posts focus in on music. So far this season there has been two standout musical experiences.

One Saturday in November my wife and I enjoyed morning coffee at a small town coffee shop in Seguin. While we were enjoying our coffee and scones an elderly gentleman came over to us and began to tell us of the upcoming Mid-Texas Symphony concert coming soon in December. He told us not to miss it. So along came December 15th and we went to the University Hall in Seguin. It was an uplifting concert. The concert began with The Christmas Festival by Anderson and ended with the popular Sleigh Ride by Anderson. Hearing those tunes reminded me of playing in my high school band in Barberton, Ohio playing those same songs at the Christmas concert back years ago. The symphony also played selections from the Nutcracker by Tchaikovsky. That brought back memories of seeing the Nutcracker ballet back when I lived in Chicago. Music is powerful in bringing back memories.

The following week I was looking on television for any Christmas specials and TBN was showing a Christmas special by Keith & Kristyn Getty. I had never heard of them before but I am glad we watched the special. They are from Ireland and the band that was with them played the Christmas carols with an Irish flair. Here is an example of their performing Joy Has Dawned/Angels We Have Heard On High (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibe5zRch8bU ). The performances made us wish we were live at the concert. It seems like they tour the US each Christmas season so we will look them up next year to go hear them.

Be it at a live concert, at home watching a special or driving along listening to Christmas music the songs of Christmas add joy to our inner spirit during the Holidays. I have been too busy to bake much this year, but the one evening while baking some cookies I had Christmas music of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra playing in the background. Listening to the music heightened the experience of Christmas baking for me.

During this Holiday Season add some music into your experience. You will note that it adds to a relaxation and inner joy. Music can also bring up pleasant memories from Holidays in the past.

Reflection: What is your favorite Christmas song? What has been your favorite musical experience this Holiday thus far? A community event? A school event? A church event?

Enjoy Small Towns at Christmastime

With a recent breakthrough on my PhD dissertation, I found myself with a desire to write again in my blog. After a stress-filled hiatus from writing here, I thought what topic do I write on? The topic came from a weekend getaway my wife and I did last week. We traveled for an overnight stay in Georgetown, Texas for their Christmas Stroll event. I have noticed here in Texas, many small towns have what they call the Christmas stroll where the downtown is decorated for Christmas and the townsfolk come out and enjoy the decorations and shop at the stores.

We arrived in Georgetown early on the Friday of the stroll and received a guided tour of the town library. The lady who gave us the tour, Teresa, is the person a month prior on another visit told us we had to come see the Georgetown square and the Christmas stroll was a must do experience. She is a volunteer at the Georgetown library and told us all about the National Medal for Museum and Library Service award the library won in 2018. She is probably their biggest cheerleader. Teresa exuded with passion for the library and for the city of Georgetown. The city has a beautiful library and I was glad to see all they are doing to promote reading to children and teens. The picture above this paragraph is a statue that someone had donated to the library.

Later that evening we enjoyed the Christmas stroll. The lights around the square were breathtaking. There was a festival atmosphere with a variety of booths with art and knick-knacks for sale. Of course there was a variety of foods available as well. A local church sponsored a Bethlehem section with displays set up and a live nativity scene that was captivating. A church member said they had done the Bethlehem scene at the Christmas stroll for about 13 years. It was a relaxing and enjoyable evening with just the right amount of chill in the air for a Texas Hill Country Wintry evening.

During the time on the town square we bumped into Teresa again so we strolled around together and she gave us insights into the history of the city. I later reflected to myself that if we had not met Teresa a month prior my wife and I would not be enjoying their beautiful town square event. I took this as a Godwink.

We stayed at the Olive Tree Inn there in Georgetown right across from Southwestern Texas University. It is a Bed & Breakfast of a rehabbed house that was built in the early 1900’s. The ladies that are the hostesses, Sandra and Eleanor, are so friendly and provide a gourmet home-style breakfast in the morning.

Sometimes with the stress of work and life you just need to get-away for even an overnight stay. I learned that during the holidays it adds joy to life to visit and experience small town America and join in with their holiday traditions.

Reflection: Is there a small town near you that you would enjoy to visit? Don’t put it off. Make time to go on a short enjoyable get-away.

A Man’s Dream to Change the World

Back in the 1980’s while working on my first Masters degree at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, I had a mentor who introduced me to the writings of Dr. Shad Helmstetter. He suggested the book, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. It is the best book on self-talk I have ever read. I often recommended it to clients over the years especially with those who had faulty thinking about themselves. I was also glad to see he recently updated it in an updated edition. A short time ago I came across a autobiography Dr. Helmstetter had written titled, The Boy Who Wanted to Change the World. I read it so I could gain insights from his life.
There are many standout items about his life that can be learned through his biography. One that comes up early on is that he was a believer in dreams and creating goals. Early on in his life he wrote down how he wanted to write a bestselling book. This was years before What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, and he did it.

He grew up in the Midwest in a Christian family with 6 siblings. He emphasized that his family always ate meals together which built an environment of communication. Both parents encouraged creativity. He says of this, “My father decided to never have a television in our home, and we never had one. That choice proved to be one of the greatest blessings to my childhood. Instead of sitting and watching television we had to be creative.” (page 12) This through his story can be seen as a background of his dreaming big of wanting early on to make an impact in the world.

He also shared how in the family, he and his siblings were encouraged to think well, so as to be critical thinkers. The encouragement of reading and learning to love music strengthened his thought life. Later when he went into Christian ministry, but then moved to psychology, thinking he may make a bigger impact in life, the importance of thinking stayed a stronghold in his life. Even in the writing of his aforementioned book Dr. Helmstetter emphasized that the thought from Romans 12:2 “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” is a foundation stone of his teaching on the power of positive self-talk.

In his young years as a teen he often worked in the fields and that experience taught him the importance of self-reflective thinking and having times of solitude. His going through the various phases of his life he tells stories along with what he personally learned from the happenstance events of his life. Reading his life story is a helpful reminder to keep open to learning moments in the events of our lives.
With his desire to get the message of the importance of self-talk out to people he shares the importance of thinking through what we say to ourselves. The importance we need to understand is that we can change our movie scripts. I like that analogy of our lives as a movie, which aligns well with narrative therapy, I have mentioned in the past. We can change by changing the negatives we tell ourselves to a realistic positive movement. I highly encourage people to read Dr. Helmstetter’s What to Say When You Talk to Yourself book and also his life story.

Reflection: What is a story moment in your life that you have learned lessons for your own growth? Look at your self-talk. What are you feeding your mind with in self-statements that you can change for the better?