Monday, March 6, 2017
I was in a study the other night where the discussion was about keeping our eyes on the finish line of hopes in our lives. In reality, reaching for what we really want in life is part of keeping a focus on the end goal but we discussed in our group, how too often we get off track looking at the sidelines of life which distracts us. A little book, Keep It Simple: Unclutter Your Mind to Uncomplicate Your Life by Joe Calloway gives insights on keeping your mind focused on what is important. It can be ordered through Simple Truths.
Joe Calloway is Executive In Residence at Belmont University’s Center For Entrepreneurship. He helps organizations and businesses improve by leadership development and team improvement. He is an author as well of numerous business books on helping companies be the best they can be. In the small book Keep It Simple he is focusing in on individual self-improvement.
A major problem in our lives is that they become cluttered by the unimportant stuff of life so we never get around to what is important. How many times have you heard yourself say, “I will get around to it one day”. Then life passes by and we never get around to what we felt was so important.
He emphasizes to spend most of life energy in keeping it simple. Create your life goals in a simple and easy to understand manner. Take some time to quiet your life and think over the 3 most important things in your life. “Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify! I saw let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million, count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumbnail.” (Henry David Thoreau). Create your goals you want to accomplish based on the few important things in your life. This reminds me of how Stephen Covey used to say focus in on the “Big Rocks” in your life. Most of your energy should be towards what is most important to you.
Another important point he brings up is in cleaning out the clutter of your life create a “to let go of” list. Time mangers encourage “to do” lists but the “to let go of” list is to help unclutter the distractions that are keeping your eyes on the sidelines instead of the goal line. Examples of the let go’s are negative habits that are getting us off track.
He gives a number of principles to follow and for me the one that stood out to me was “Be better tomorrow than you were today”. I like that principle as it reminds as we keep a clear focus on the important goals they can be reached better if we keep improving ourselves. He gives other principles that are just as noteworthy so I would encourage you to find a copy of the book through your local library or favorite bookseller. Keeping it simple frees up life energy to make the most of your life.
Reflection: What are the 3 most important things in your life? What is cluttering your life that you need to get rid of? How can you simplify your life?
Monday, February 27, 2017
When we see many of the problems around us in the world it is easy to be overwhelmed and think “What Difference Can I Make?”. The question makes sense as the problems we see are so huge and by ourselves we are just one person. We can understand better how to be difference makers through the book, The Power of One: How One Person Can Make a Difference. The book is co-authored by BJ Gallagher and Steve Ruttenberg. BJ Gallagher is an author and motivational speaker and Steve Ruttenberg is a entrepreneur.
By reading the stories, quotes, and poetry they have compiled, your eyes can be opened to the power you have to make a difference in the world around you. We can’t solve all the world’s problems but if we are open and willing, the stories here show how we can impact our surroundings by doing something instead of giving up. An important quote given to remind us of this is: ”The purpose of life is not to be happy—but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference, that you have lived at all.” (Leo Rostin, Polish-born Writer). Thinking of the quote I would add that your happiness quotient will increase as you desire to make a difference in other people’s lives.
The stories provided in the book show how by a simple smile or an act of kindness can make a difference in another person’s life. Some of the stories show how one person’s actions can have an exponential effect on many people’s lives. The consequences of what we do can have positive impact on other’s lives. Another quote they include in the book speaks to this. “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” (William James – philosopher and psychologist). If we keep open to the needs around us and living out kindness and generosity we will be surprised how often this James quote comes true in our life journey.
Reading the Power of One, as I read the stories of single individuals making an impact of the world reminded me of one of my favorite, one person making a difference stories. I have mentioned the story before of Jon Sundt who is the founder of the organization, Natural High, which encourages young people to discover natural passions in their lives so as not to fall into the drug scene. Thinking of the Power of One, Jon’s organization was created out of sorrow and grief in the early 1990’s. He had lost his two younger brothers to drugs and wanted to make a difference so others would not have to endure the pain his parents and he went through. Instead of being stuck with the question “But What Difference Can I Make?” he became a difference maker by doing something. You can go to naturalhigh.org for more of the story and see what this great organization does in schools across the country.
Natural High finds musicians and sport stars to share their passions or natural highs. These stories can motivate young people to move away from the lies of the drug world that tells them to enjoy life you need to smoke, snort, or shoot to get high. Instead they can learn how to enjoy life in drug free ways. As a counselor I have used their videos with all age groups to encourage people to look for their own natural highs for a better life. Here is a sample of their videos that can be seen on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRW_-dDKnkU If you know an educator or school counselor k-12 let them know about Natural High.
Another important quote from BJ Gallagher and Steve Ruttenberg’s book is “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” (Anne Frank – diarist). Realize that you have power in yourself to make a difference in the world around you. It may be as simple as smiling at a cashier to brighten someone’s work day. It may be posting a positive quote on Facebook or Twitter to make other people think positive. Or it may be the start of solving a problem that may affect thousands if not millions of people. Move beyond being stuck on the question - What Difference Can I Make?
Reflection: Think back to a time when you made a difference in someone’s life? What is your favorite story of someone making a difference in the world? What is one way you can make a difference using your power of one today?
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
On our life journeys we often look for inspiration to help and guide us through the days when we settled into plateaus of mediocrity or are overwhelmed by life’s demands. At these times I myself appreciate looking at other people’s thoughts on the life journey and seek to learn from them. Live The Life Of Your Dreams by Laura Ponticello is such a book. She provides 33 inspiring tips to help in the continual growth of the inner life. Laura is an author, personal coach, and motivational speaker. You can find out more about her at lauraponticello.com
Although her books are geared towards women, the principles can be appreciated and connected to the life journey of men as well. In this book her 33 life inspiring tips revolve around 7 key themes of 1. Think Big, Dream Big 2. Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back 3. The Art Of Self-Talk 4. Take Time For Yourself 5. Sacred Spaces for Healing 6. The Power Within 7. Live Life With Passion.
I will touch on 5 of the tips that stood out to me. First of all her tip # 5 is Pursue Something With Passion. Having passions in life keep life purposeful and urge us to continual growth. That is one element of life I promote in my book Living More Than OK. I like how in this section she encourages “Explore a new side of yourself” so during your life journey seek out new activities or hobbies to enjoy to add to your life.
Her tip #16 is Sit with a Prayer. She encourages those who have a passion for following a spiritual life make prayer an important aspect of your life. The sitting with a prayer caught my attention as she is reminding us to look at some of the great prayers that have been written down and meditate on those. She uses the prayers of St. Francis as an example. There are also books on the prayers of Charles Haddon Spurgeon, the great protestant preacher from the 1800’s that can be used in sitting with a prayer.
To add happiness into your life her tip #20 is Do One Thing Every Day That Makes You Happy. Break away from the business of life and take a happy break savoring a cup of coffee or tea while reading a book or listening to a favorite song.
If you enjoy walking, her tip #25 is Walk With A Purpose. Go out for a walk but have a purposeful mindful attitude of gratitude while you walk. Walking with a grateful heart will allow you to observe positive things around you on the walk. Maybe you will notice a flower bed you never noticed before or a landscape idea you may wish to add to your lawn.
The last tip that I will share here that stood out to me is tip #28 Gratitude Is Attitude. When you carry a grateful attitude into your life there is more positive energy to keep you moving forward. Think over each day what you are thankful for in your life and you will see it makes a difference in your outlook for the day.
Her other tips are just as helpful as these 5 but I want to keep you in suspense to look for a copy of the book through Laura’s website or by request at your local library. As you move through your life journey for the best inspiring life keep looking for new ideas to inspire you on your journey.
Reflection: Of the 5 tips from Laura’s book I shared which one stood out to you? What are 3 personal ideas you use to inspire yourself in your day to day life?
Monday, February 6, 2017
I just came back from the 23rd Annual SPI Counselor’s Institute on South Padre Island, Texas. The event was put together by the hard work of the Tip of Texas Counseling Association, a great group of counselors from the Brownsville area. While I was at the conference sessions and presenting; my wife and daughter enjoyed some time shopping on the Island and nearby Port Isabel. Personally I felt I had the better time learning from the various presenters.
Some of the topics I enjoyed the most were learning strategies for dealing with anger; understanding the emotional needs of millennials, and re-wiring the addicts brain which looked at neuroplasticity. I was also glad to sit in again on a creative vision journaling session conducted by a dear friend Dr. Marsha Nelson. If you get the chance to attend one of her sessions they are life inspiring. I was also glad to see a former Counseling program classmate and friend, Rosa Linda Cruz and picked up a copy of her children’s book, My Favorite Bubbles. I have a hyperlink on her title if you are interested in purchasing it. I plan on using that book with younger clients in my counseling work.
Usually after a conference I do a post about a favorite session I attended. This time I want to focus in on the session I did twice. The session was “Bibliotherapy Tips From Mr. Bookhead”. I appreciated the Counselors who attended it and brought to the discussion their insights. I usually do not like being a talking head for a whole hour so I try to draw out thoughts from others so we can all learn from each other. That came to pass at this conference as many were open to sharing their thoughts.
I take the definition from the American Library Association “The use of selected reading materials as therapeutic adjuvants, (enhancer of treatment), in medicine and psychiatry; also guidance in the solution of personal problems through directed reading. (AHIL Quarterly, Summer 1966, p. 18.From http://www.ala.org/tools/bibliotherapy). I emphasized that it is not a miracle cure but it is another tool that counselors can use in serving their clients. This tool can help clients gain insights into their particular problem area. This tool can also promote communication between the client and counselor concerning their problems so as to move to solutions.
We discussed the various types of literature to use Fiction books, non- fiction books, Magazine articles, Chapters in books, Poems and Song lyrics. Some of the book titles attendees suggested were: “When God Winks” by Squire Rushnell, “The Outsiders” by S.E Hinton, “7 Habits of Happy Kids” by Sean Covey, “Pete the Cat: I Love my White Shoes” by Eric Litwin, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” by Aesop, “The Bible”, and “Dynamic Catholic” by Matthew Kelly. They all provided a wide variety of meaningful books. Of course here I need to mention my book, Living More Than OK, as the purpose I wrote it was for personal self-growth of individuals on their life journey. It can be purchased on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
I also looked at songs by having them discuss through the song “Story of Your Life” by Matthew West and discussed a poem from off the website https://www.poemhunter.com/poems/change/page-1/24402/. Poem hunter is an excellent poetry website to gather poems from various topics. I wrapped up the session also discussing how counselors can use movies and videos for self-growth and overcoming problems. Some of the meaningful movies they shared where: Angry Birds (2016), Saturday Night Fever (1977), Good Will Hunting (1997), and Finding Nemo (2003).
So I will let the reader decide what is more fun learning or shopping? For me when it comes to conferences learning is always more fun.
Reflection: Think through what is a book that has had special impact on your life? Think over the movies you have seen what is one that has had special impact on your life?
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
My energies have been focused on preparing to present at a Counselor Conference this week but thanks for dropping by. Take a moment and pick a random post from the past to read and reflect over. Don't forget to leave a comment. You don't need to create a profile you can simply choose the anonymous feature for comments. Thank you for stopping by!
Monday, January 16, 2017
This week I am beginning to explore a book written by a former classmate, Wiley Graf, (or I should say – Dr. Wiley Graf), from my hometown of Barberton, Ohio. Looking back even to elementary school in 5th and 6th grade I can say I was impressed with his intelligence. So when I reconnected with him on Facebook over a year ago I was not surprised in the least that he taught engineering. His first book which I have been looking forward to is – 100 Reasons To Believe the Bible is the Word of God.
In my blog I discuss a variety of topics often relating to positive psychology which is a passion of mine as well as topics of living an abundant life. I have been open here and in my book, Living More Than OK, that I come at life from a Christian worldview. It is my worldview of belief in Christ as the answer to ultimate meaning, that draws me to books such as Wiley has written. He brings out in his forward the importance of Christians having a foundation of evidence for why they believe. I am thankful when I was a teen my pastor pointed me to authors such as Josh McDowell and Francis Schaeffer who provided sound thinking for a Christian philosophy of life to provide evidence to show that the Bible was trustworthy. Wiley here in his book builds on their work.
In perusing through his book it is no surprise with a scientific mind of an engineer, he first speaks to the laws of thermodynamics which relates so well to the Biblical message on creation. Those were always points of thought I held onto during high school science classes and college science courses that promoted the theory of macro-evolution. It is a theory not a proven fact. Why else would atheists have such wild ideas as Dawkins has speculated that space aliens brought initial life to earth -- check out his speculations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abugiGHOHg0
I won’t go through all 100 reasons here as I want you to buy his book. I will simply touch on a couple that stood out to me. The reader will appreciate a wide variety of examples from science, history and archaeology he uses in his book. My favorite is how he brings out several times the nation of Israel as a reason to believe the Bible. In one of my times of doubt, I pondered the overarching story of the Jews in the Bible. If you think about it here is this small people group, God chose for the Savior of the world to come through. During their whole history nations have tried to destroy them. Yet many initial enemies are no longer in existence such at the Amorites, Hittites and many other “ites”. Just from that standpoint it is a miracle the Jewish people survived through the ages and are now a nation again surrounded by enemies who want to destroy them. Think about it. Maybe the Bible is true. Also think about this. Why are so many people and nations against Israel?
Then another reason I enjoyed seeing is more experiential. It is the reason of “changed lives”. Reading what Wiley has to say took me back to my days in Chicago at Moody Bible Institute with Dr. James. One day Dr. James reminded us in days of spiritual doubt to remember times when God has answered prayer in our lives. No skeptic can take that away. If the Christian takes time they will see how belief in Christ has changed their lives with little and big miracles in their life journey.
Wiley’s book provides the believer in Christ solid thoughtful reasons to be secure in their Christian faith. Sometimes in doubt you need a reaffirmation and Wiley’s book can be a useful intellectual tool for that. The Bible points out that having a defense for why you believe in Christ is important. Here are a few examples:
1 Peter 3:15 but honor the Messiah as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.
2 Corinthians 10:5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ
Acts 17:15-34 -- Paul here debates with a group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers in Athens. Their response revealed that some believed and others replied “We want to hear you again on this subject.” Which shows it is important to be open in sharing while you believe in Christ but do so in a way that keeps the door open to dialogue. Too many times Christians browbeat and turn people off to Christ.
100 Reasons To Believe is a belief in Christ strengthener. It can help you as a Christian when you come up against the modern myth calling Christians “Believers”. That is a pet peeve of mine when I hear media types or the new atheists saying that. What does that mean “Believers”? It is often said in a snarky tone like Christians are leaving their brains at the door. Think about it—everyone is a Believer. It is just we believe different things. The Hindu believes the divine truth comes from the Vedas and they experience numerous reincarnations until they are absorbed into the divine. Is there factual proof for that? No, it is a belief. Atheists, are they believers? They try to pretend their thought is based on science. No -- they BELIEVE in inanimate matter that has either always been here or popped into being by chance. Their real belief is in random chaotic chance full of fiction stories of big bangs and macro evolution of a piece of slime plus millions of years turning into man. I am sorry there is no proof -- it is a belief. Go back to the Dawkin’s Youtube link I provided above. I read Darwin’s Origen of the Species back in high school and all that went through my mind was -- what an imagination! No proof. Christians are believers as well. We believe that God has revealed Himself in the Bible and personally through the person of Jesus Christ. We believe contrary to other religions that are focused on man trying to reach God; the Bible shows a loving God reaching down to man. Can I prove that? No, I readily admit that. But books such as Wiley Graf’s 100 Reasons To Believe provide a person with evidence to weigh against other worldviews and personally the Christian view makes the most sense to me.
Of course Christians need to remember what I have heard from Ravi Zacharias live and in his writings. Apologetic reasons are helpful but all discourse and lifestyle needs to be based in showing the love of Christ. Letting God’s Love show can win a person over more than all the arguments.
If you are a non-Christian reader I am simply stating my worldview here. I hope you can feel like the Epicurean philosophers and say “We want to hear you again on this subject.” I encourage you to check out books like Wiley’s and keep an open mind in your search for truth.
Reflection: Think over your personal Worldview-- be it Buddhist, Atheist, Hindu, Christian or whatever. Why do you believe what you believe and how does it help you on your life journey? Check out Dr. Wiley Graf’s website 100-reasons-2-believe.com
Monday, January 9, 2017
The phrase “take time to smell the roses” is a common one encouraging us to savor the small moments of life. This past weekend we took some time to “take time to smell the coffee”. We went to the San Antonio Coffee Festival at La Villita Historic Arts Village in San Antonio, Texas to enjoy the event. We had a busy Saturday full of errands so we did not make it down until near the end of the afternoon. We were glad we made it.
There were a wide variety of local coffee roasters and coffee shops participating in the festival. The aroma of the courtyard where it was held was an experience in itself. Part of savoring coffee is the aroma of the various coffees. So with the variety of roasters involved it was like experiencing a rainbow of scents. We enjoyed watching the people while capturing the sounds of a local band that was playing. The festival showcased coffee but also revealed the social side of coffee. Even though it was crowded the people in line were conversing with each other until it was their turn to enjoy their brew of choice.
You could not ask for a better location as after perusing the coffee area we took time to go down over by the River Walk. It was not as crowded as when we were there during the holidays. It was a chilly day for Texas in the low 50’s so some coffee in hand; was comforting as we walked around. We had not visited the shops at La Villita for some time as we usually just stroll the River Walk when we go downtown. So it was a treat to appreciate the various art stores at La Villita.
The coffee festival made me reflect on times I enjoy coffee the most. Of course being a heart patient I am more of a decaf person- not by choice. In the present some of my favorite times with coffee is on various Saturday mornings when I take my wife out for coffee at one of the local coffee shops in New Braunfels. There is something relaxing about being with someone you love conversing over coffee.
Of course being a reader, my past experiences I savor in my mind were the coffee shops in Chicago. When I lived by myself I would take a book to a coffee shop to read. Or, on a cold Winter night in my apartment on Chicago’s Northside I would read with a cup of coffee nearby on the table. Coffee and books make a great team. It started in college with late night coffee and textbook reading then later enjoying coffee with books I enjoyed reading. Of course being a Bookhead I even enjoyed reading my textbooks.
If there is ever a coffee festival in your area take time to go and smell the coffee. It will provide a savoring aroma trip down memory lane.
Reflect: What kind of memories does coffee (or tea) conjure up in your mind? If you love reading do you sometimes enjoy coffee or tea with your reading experience?