My New Book Living More Than OK

My New Book Living More Than OK
purchase it at B & N, Amazon or (click on image of cover)

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Choose Your Ways for Inspired Living

On our life journeys we often look for inspiration to help and guide us through the days when we settled into plateaus of mediocrity or are overwhelmed by life’s demands. At these times I myself appreciate looking at other people’s thoughts on the life journey and seek to learn from them. Live The Life Of Your Dreams by Laura Ponticello is such a book. She provides 33 inspiring tips to help in the continual growth of the inner life. Laura is an author, personal coach, and motivational speaker. You can find out more about her at

Although her books are geared towards women, the principles can be appreciated and connected to the life journey of men as well. In this book her 33 life inspiring tips revolve around 7 key themes of 1. Think Big, Dream Big 2. Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back 3. The Art Of Self-Talk 4. Take Time For Yourself 5. Sacred Spaces for Healing 6. The Power Within 7. Live Life With Passion.

I will touch on 5 of the tips that stood out to me. First of all her tip # 5 is Pursue Something With Passion. Having passions in life keep life purposeful and urge us to continual growth. That is one element of life I promote in my book Living More Than OK. I like how in this section she encourages “Explore a new side of yourself” so during your life journey seek out new activities or hobbies to enjoy to add to your life.

Her tip #16 is Sit with a Prayer. She encourages those who have a passion for following a spiritual life make prayer an important aspect of your life. The sitting with a prayer caught my attention as she is reminding us to look at some of the great prayers that have been written down and meditate on those. She uses the prayers of St. Francis as an example. There are also books on the prayers of Charles Haddon Spurgeon, the great protestant preacher from the 1800’s that can be used in sitting with a prayer.

To add happiness into your life her tip #20 is Do One Thing Every Day That Makes You Happy. Break away from the business of life and take a happy break savoring a cup of coffee or tea while reading a book or listening to a favorite song.

If you enjoy walking, her tip #25 is Walk With A Purpose. Go out for a walk but have a purposeful mindful attitude of gratitude while you walk. Walking with a grateful heart will allow you to observe positive things around you on the walk. Maybe you will notice a flower bed you never noticed before or a landscape idea you may wish to add to your lawn.

The last tip that I will share here that stood out to me is tip #28 Gratitude Is Attitude. When you carry a grateful attitude into your life there is more positive energy to keep you moving forward. Think over each day what you are thankful for in your life and you will see it makes a difference in your outlook for the day.

Her other tips are just as helpful as these 5 but I want to keep you in suspense to look for a copy of the book through Laura’s website or by request at your local library. As you move through your life journey for the best inspiring life keep looking for new ideas to inspire you on your journey.

Reflection: Of the 5 tips from Laura’s book I shared which one stood out to you? What are 3 personal ideas you use to inspire yourself in your day to day life?

Monday, February 6, 2017

Learning Better Than Shopping?

I just came back from the 23rd Annual SPI Counselor’s Institute on South Padre Island, Texas. The event was put together by the hard work of the Tip of Texas Counseling Association, a great group of counselors from the Brownsville area. While I was at the conference sessions and presenting; my wife and daughter enjoyed some time shopping on the Island and nearby Port Isabel. Personally I felt I had the better time learning from the various presenters.

Some of the topics I enjoyed the most were learning strategies for dealing with anger; understanding the emotional needs of millennials, and re-wiring the addicts brain which looked at neuroplasticity. I was also glad to sit in again on a creative vision journaling session conducted by a dear friend Dr. Marsha Nelson. If you get the chance to attend one of her sessions they are life inspiring. I was also glad to see a former Counseling program classmate and friend, Rosa Linda Cruz and picked up a copy of her children’s book, My Favorite Bubbles. I have a hyperlink on her title if you are interested in purchasing it. I plan on using that book with younger clients in my counseling work.

Usually after a conference I do a post about a favorite session I attended. This time I want to focus in on the session I did twice. The session was “Bibliotherapy Tips From Mr. Bookhead”. I appreciated the Counselors who attended it and brought to the discussion their insights. I usually do not like being a talking head for a whole hour so I try to draw out thoughts from others so we can all learn from each other. That came to pass at this conference as many were open to sharing their thoughts.

I take the definition from the American Library Association “The use of selected reading materials as therapeutic adjuvants, (enhancer of treatment), in medicine and psychiatry; also guidance in the solution of personal problems through directed reading. (AHIL Quarterly, Summer 1966, p. 18.From I emphasized that it is not a miracle cure but it is another tool that counselors can use in serving their clients. This tool can help clients gain insights into their particular problem area. This tool can also promote communication between the client and counselor concerning their problems so as to move to solutions.

We discussed the various types of literature to use Fiction books, non- fiction books, Magazine articles, Chapters in books, Poems and Song lyrics. Some of the book titles attendees suggested were: “When God Winks” by Squire Rushnell, “The Outsiders” by S.E Hinton, “7 Habits of Happy Kids” by Sean Covey, “Pete the Cat: I Love my White Shoes” by Eric Litwin, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” by Aesop, “The Bible”, and “Dynamic Catholic” by Matthew Kelly. They all provided a wide variety of meaningful books. Of course here I need to mention my book, Living More Than OK, as the purpose I wrote it was for personal self-growth of individuals on their life journey. It can be purchased on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

I also looked at songs by having them discuss through the song “Story of Your Life” by Matthew West and discussed a poem from off the website Poem hunter is an excellent poetry website to gather poems from various topics. I wrapped up the session also discussing how counselors can use movies and videos for self-growth and overcoming problems. Some of the meaningful movies they shared where: Angry Birds (2016), Saturday Night Fever (1977), Good Will Hunting (1997), and Finding Nemo (2003).

So I will let the reader decide what is more fun learning or shopping? For me when it comes to conferences learning is always more fun.

Reflection: Think through what is a book that has had special impact on your life? Think over the movies you have seen what is one that has had special impact on your life?

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Look at Random Past Blog Posts

My energies have been focused on preparing to present at a Counselor Conference this week but thanks for dropping by. Take a moment and pick a random post from the past to read and reflect over. Don't forget to leave a comment. You don't need to create a profile you can simply choose the anonymous feature for comments. Thank you for stopping by!

Monday, January 16, 2017

Reaffirming Reasons for the Christian Life Journey

This week I am beginning to explore a book written by a former classmate, Wiley Graf, (or I should say – Dr. Wiley Graf), from my hometown of Barberton, Ohio. Looking back even to elementary school in 5th and 6th grade I can say I was impressed with his intelligence. So when I reconnected with him on Facebook over a year ago I was not surprised in the least that he taught engineering. His first book which I have been looking forward to is – 100 Reasons To Believe the Bible is the Word of God.

In my blog I discuss a variety of topics often relating to positive psychology which is a passion of mine as well as topics of living an abundant life. I have been open here and in my book, Living More Than OK, that I come at life from a Christian worldview. It is my worldview of belief in Christ as the answer to ultimate meaning, that draws me to books such as Wiley has written. He brings out in his forward the importance of Christians having a foundation of evidence for why they believe. I am thankful when I was a teen my pastor pointed me to authors such as Josh McDowell and Francis Schaeffer who provided sound thinking for a Christian philosophy of life to provide evidence to show that the Bible was trustworthy. Wiley here in his book builds on their work.

In perusing through his book it is no surprise with a scientific mind of an engineer, he first speaks to the laws of thermodynamics which relates so well to the Biblical message on creation. Those were always points of thought I held onto during high school science classes and college science courses that promoted the theory of macro-evolution. It is a theory not a proven fact. Why else would atheists have such wild ideas as Dawkins has speculated that space aliens brought initial life to earth -- check out his speculations:

I won’t go through all 100 reasons here as I want you to buy his book. I will simply touch on a couple that stood out to me. The reader will appreciate a wide variety of examples from science, history and archaeology he uses in his book. My favorite is how he brings out several times the nation of Israel as a reason to believe the Bible. In one of my times of doubt, I pondered the overarching story of the Jews in the Bible. If you think about it here is this small people group, God chose for the Savior of the world to come through. During their whole history nations have tried to destroy them. Yet many initial enemies are no longer in existence such at the Amorites, Hittites and many other “ites”. Just from that standpoint it is a miracle the Jewish people survived through the ages and are now a nation again surrounded by enemies who want to destroy them. Think about it. Maybe the Bible is true. Also think about this. Why are so many people and nations against Israel?

Then another reason I enjoyed seeing is more experiential. It is the reason of “changed lives”. Reading what Wiley has to say took me back to my days in Chicago at Moody Bible Institute with Dr. James. One day Dr. James reminded us in days of spiritual doubt to remember times when God has answered prayer in our lives. No skeptic can take that away. If the Christian takes time they will see how belief in Christ has changed their lives with little and big miracles in their life journey.

Wiley’s book provides the believer in Christ solid thoughtful reasons to be secure in their Christian faith. Sometimes in doubt you need a reaffirmation and Wiley’s book can be a useful intellectual tool for that. The Bible points out that having a defense for why you believe in Christ is important. Here are a few examples:

1 Peter 3:15 but honor the Messiah as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.

2 Corinthians 10:5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ

Acts 17:15-34 -- Paul here debates with a group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers in Athens. Their response revealed that some believed and others replied “We want to hear you again on this subject.” Which shows it is important to be open in sharing while you believe in Christ but do so in a way that keeps the door open to dialogue. Too many times Christians browbeat and turn people off to Christ.

100 Reasons To Believe is a belief in Christ strengthener. It can help you as a Christian when you come up against the modern myth calling Christians “Believers”. That is a pet peeve of mine when I hear media types or the new atheists saying that. What does that mean “Believers”? It is often said in a snarky tone like Christians are leaving their brains at the door. Think about it—everyone is a Believer. It is just we believe different things. The Hindu believes the divine truth comes from the Vedas and they experience numerous reincarnations until they are absorbed into the divine. Is there factual proof for that? No, it is a belief. Atheists, are they believers? They try to pretend their thought is based on science. No -- they BELIEVE in inanimate matter that has either always been here or popped into being by chance. Their real belief is in random chaotic chance full of fiction stories of big bangs and macro evolution of a piece of slime plus millions of years turning into man. I am sorry there is no proof -- it is a belief. Go back to the Dawkin’s Youtube link I provided above. I read Darwin’s Origen of the Species back in high school and all that went through my mind was -- what an imagination! No proof. Christians are believers as well. We believe that God has revealed Himself in the Bible and personally through the person of Jesus Christ. We believe contrary to other religions that are focused on man trying to reach God; the Bible shows a loving God reaching down to man. Can I prove that? No, I readily admit that. But books such as Wiley Graf’s 100 Reasons To Believe provide a person with evidence to weigh against other worldviews and personally the Christian view makes the most sense to me.

Of course Christians need to remember what I have heard from Ravi Zacharias live and in his writings. Apologetic reasons are helpful but all discourse and lifestyle needs to be based in showing the love of Christ. Letting God’s Love show can win a person over more than all the arguments.

If you are a non-Christian reader I am simply stating my worldview here. I hope you can feel like the Epicurean philosophers and say “We want to hear you again on this subject.” I encourage you to check out books like Wiley’s and keep an open mind in your search for truth.

Reflection: Think over your personal Worldview-- be it Buddhist, Atheist, Hindu, Christian or whatever. Why do you believe what you believe and how does it help you on your life journey? Check out Dr. Wiley Graf’s website

Monday, January 9, 2017

Taking Time to Smell the Coffee

The phrase “take time to smell the roses” is a common one encouraging us to savor the small moments of life. This past weekend we took some time to “take time to smell the coffee”. We went to the San Antonio Coffee Festival at La Villita Historic Arts Village in San Antonio, Texas to enjoy the event. We had a busy Saturday full of errands so we did not make it down until near the end of the afternoon. We were glad we made it.

There were a wide variety of local coffee roasters and coffee shops participating in the festival. The aroma of the courtyard where it was held was an experience in itself. Part of savoring coffee is the aroma of the various coffees. So with the variety of roasters involved it was like experiencing a rainbow of scents. We enjoyed watching the people while capturing the sounds of a local band that was playing. The festival showcased coffee but also revealed the social side of coffee. Even though it was crowded the people in line were conversing with each other until it was their turn to enjoy their brew of choice.

You could not ask for a better location as after perusing the coffee area we took time to go down over by the River Walk. It was not as crowded as when we were there during the holidays. It was a chilly day for Texas in the low 50’s so some coffee in hand; was comforting as we walked around. We had not visited the shops at La Villita for some time as we usually just stroll the River Walk when we go downtown. So it was a treat to appreciate the various art stores at La Villita.

The coffee festival made me reflect on times I enjoy coffee the most. Of course being a heart patient I am more of a decaf person- not by choice. In the present some of my favorite times with coffee is on various Saturday mornings when I take my wife out for coffee at one of the local coffee shops in New Braunfels. There is something relaxing about being with someone you love conversing over coffee.

Of course being a reader, my past experiences I savor in my mind were the coffee shops in Chicago. When I lived by myself I would take a book to a coffee shop to read. Or, on a cold Winter night in my apartment on Chicago’s Northside I would read with a cup of coffee nearby on the table. Coffee and books make a great team. It started in college with late night coffee and textbook reading then later enjoying coffee with books I enjoyed reading. Of course being a Bookhead I even enjoyed reading my textbooks.

If there is ever a coffee festival in your area take time to go and smell the coffee. It will provide a savoring aroma trip down memory lane.

Reflect: What kind of memories does coffee (or tea) conjure up in your mind? If you love reading do you sometimes enjoy coffee or tea with your reading experience?

Monday, January 2, 2017

Moving Into the New Year with the Power of Focus

As we start the New Year I want to share some thoughts from a book I think is perfect for moving into 2017. I could mean my book, Living More Than OK, as it is a thought provoking positive book to begin the New Year; but that would be rather self-serving of me. Of course you then can say, why mention my book with a link to the Barnes & Noble site for it? Maybe because I am a little self-serving and I believe in what I wrote in my book. Back to the topic at hand – what book do I want to share thoughts on? It is Bull’s-Eye: The Power of Focus by Brian Tracy. It comes from one of my favorite motivational companies, Simple Truths.

Tracy’s book came to mind while reflecting on a church service we attended on January 1st. The pastor had his minister team share their objectives for the coming year. A recurring theme was to write down the goals and plans that you have for the New Year. What the various ministers there were saying fit so well with what Brian Tracy is saying in Bull’s-Eye. The beginning for the book states the importance of writing down goals that we want to obtain along with the plan to accomplish the goal. As he states in the book, “A person with a goal and a plan is like an archer or a dart thrower with everything they need to step up to the line and hit a bull’s-eye” (p27).

He makes an important point in creating the goal to make it personal, positive and present. So write the goal as if it has been completed in the present sense of the moment. For example for the PhD I am working on using his thinking I would write down “I have my PhD in Psychology”. It is like making a declaration that the mind can visualize. Imagine your goal has already happened. It is a different concept than the traditional future tense goal with a timeline. Of course it is then important to create an action plan to reach the goal otherwise it is simply a Pollyanna wish. The idea is similar to Stephen Covey’s Habit 2 “Begin with the end in mind”. He follows up the goal thoughts with a solid section on building a personal mission statement.

He moves into the importance and hard work of being focused and building up concentration to reach the goals by following your plan. Many people don’t reach what they want due to not following basic time management principles or are too easily distracted in our distracting world. We need to manage time and social media or they wind up mismanaging us and stopping us from getting what we want for our lives.

Tracy also in the book shares the importance of building up a mindset of excellence. He brings out an important research point from a professor at Florida State University, Dr. K. Anders Ericsson, “According to Ericsson, people in the bottom 80 percent will work during their first year of employment to learn their particular job or craft. After that, they slow down, level off, and never get any better. They don’t read any books, listen to any audio programs, or take any additional courses. They simply flatten out.” (p.77). This relates well with my thinking in my book, Living More Than OK, as I emphasize one problem in our life journey is that we settle for the plateau of OK living and just getting by. So Tracey encourages an excellence mindset along with the discipline of skill building and lifelong learning.

Those are just a couple of key thoughts that helped me as I am looking forward to new goals and readjusted goals for the New Year. There are many other fine points in his book to help with your life. As usual I want to simple peak interest so you can look for the book in your local library for purchase a copy for yourself. The beginning of a year is a time to gain a fresh start and begin moving on goals you want to accomplish.

Reflection: Has your life leveled off? What area of your life do you want to improve in 2017? How can you move towards being a seeker of excellence?

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Creativity of Christmas Lights in Windcrest

After our Christmas dinner, our daughter suggested we go to Windcrest, Texas to see the neighborhood Christmas lights. I always thought Windcrest was a neighborhood in San Antonio but it is actually a small city on the Northeast side of San Antonio. Every Christmas season they do a lights competition so their area has some of the most beautiful displays in the area.

As we drove in the main neighborhood with the displays; we saw as in previous years some of the standard displays. Then in other yards we saw new displays we had not seen before. What always strikes me is the wide variety of creativity seen through the neighborhood. As you can see in the pictures posted here some are simple as just a manger scene by a tree or elaborate animal cut-out displays. Several of the homes had Christmas carols playing in the background. I wondered to myself, if the creativity reflects on the people who are making up the displays.

Not every house has a display which shows it is not mandatory to live there to do the Christmas displays. Still plenty of homes do become involved. There are placements for different categories such as best mailbox display, most joyous, or most creative. I would not want to be a judge as there is such a large number of amazing displays.

With displays like this the streets were packed with cars but unlike traffic on the local highways people were very patient with each other. No one was honking at those getting out of their cars to take a picture under the largest mistletoe ball. Maybe it was the holiday spirit coming out and calming the drivers.

As I drove through, my wife and daughter enjoyed the sights and took pictures. I made sure we did not bump into any other cars but still was able to keep a good view on the various decorations. I also took time to savor memories of Christmas lights in the past. There is just something about the lights at Christmas time. They remind me of years ago when I would go back to see my mother at Christmas in Ohio when she was alive. One thing she always wanted me to do was to take her out in the car to see Christmas lights. So seeing the lights in Windcrest allowed me to go back to the fond memories of those times taking my mother out to enjoy the lights.

Pictures are important for future memories but there is nothing like the experience of enjoying the lights in the moment.

Reflection: What kind of memories do Christmas lights bring to your mind? What are your favorite Christmas memories?