My New Book Living More Than OK

My New Book Living More Than OK
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Showing posts with label Choice Theory. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Choice Theory. Show all posts

Thursday, February 6, 2014

My Life In Relation To Living More Than OK

Several times in the past I have been asked what has my career as a licensed professional counselor taught me about life and my concept of “Living More Than OK”? I want to answer that question from the context of my overall career journey. So this week I will focus on my career journey then show how it connects to “Living More Than OK”.

Starting Point Library




Photo credit: JanneM / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

My first job was in my high school years in my hometown at Barberton Public Library. Of course, that was part-time and being a book head, being around books is what made that job enjoyable for me by nature. I could not have asked for a better first job experience of working with friendly people and being around books.

After high school, but before moving to Chicago for my Bachelor degree at Moody Bible Institute, I worked for a year at a company that made sample books for carpet companies as a shipping and receiving clerk. That was a 40-hour grind, but the people were wonderful to work with and the management was friendly. On that job, I did observe what I mention in my book -- the living for the weekend mentality. Through my observations it was for many of the workers, dealing with a boring work life and waiting for a short respite of entertainment on the weekend. Primarily, I saw how the bar scene created a self-inflicted cycle of living paycheck to paycheck for many people.

Chicago and Career Change






Photo credit: Foter / CC BY-SA

I am a firm believer in considering careers, of Dr. Krumboltz’s Happenstance theory and Dr. Jim Bright’s Chaos theory of careers. I left Ohio and went to Chicago for college study; thinking and planning to go into Protestant church work. I finished in Chicago a Bachelor and a Master degree that related to religious work. Even though with my Master of Divinity at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School I began a serious interest in Counseling.

Then life events occurred to create a shift, as Dr. Bright calls them. I found myself in customer service work at a variety of companies in the Chicago area. This allowed me to see the same life pattern I had seen in the Ohio company. The pattern of people living merely for a little fleeting happiness on the weekends. I always had wondered -- is the life of work, TV, and bars and clubs on the weekends the only reason we were created? Customer service is considered a mundane job of being in a cubicle on the phone and computer all day. Again, years doing that made me think that yes, it can be mundane, if that is your mindset, but all work can have intrinsic meaning and purpose. My longest position was with a textbook publishing company. Maybe working at a textbook company, some may think that is boring, but that company was helping to improve education. So there was meaning in being connected to such a company that was improving minds of customers around the world.

Further Career Change in Texas





In my final couple of years in Chicago I met my wife and we moved to Texas to allow her to follow her career journey. For me the move to Texas was where I was able to connect with my first job of helping college students in a Student Success department of Texas State Technical College in Harlingen, Texas. This was a job that I truly felt a passion for as it connected with my desire to counsel and encourage students in their career dream journeys. This position was an impetus to go on for a second Master degree this time in Counseling. At this point, I found myself being shaped by theories, such as, Dr. William Glasser’s Choice Theory that emphasizes the making of quality choices, which is one theory basis of my “Living More Than OK” thinking. Another style of Counseling theory, which is termed Solution-Focused, became important to me as it is very positive and goal oriented, which also in my book is a theme that runs throughout the thinking in it.

With a family move from deep South Texas to New Braunfels, Texas I continue to work with college students as an Adjunct Professor and I also do Counseling and Coaching. My continued work in higher education is one factor that has moved me to be working on a PhD in Psychology through Capella University. My studies there has reaffirmed my passion for Positive Psychology. My future dissertation will have some connection to the subject in a practical manner for people to live better lives.

So what does this chaotic, happenstance journey mean? A thread I have seen through my work life is that too many simply live as Henry David Thoreau stated, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” Through jobs that allowed me to observe that, those jobs helped to shape my passion with college students to inspire them to live out their song.

Of course my book’s compilation of essays is also an attempt to challenge on a larger scale more people to move beyond desperation and sing out the song inside them.

Reflection: What have you learned from your career journey over the years? Is your job just a job? Consider the meaning that can be found in your work by considering the big picture of how you help people, or the service or products your company provides to help people have a better life.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Importance of Choices in Our Lives

Recently I received an email comment on my posting Our Humanity Messiness and Choices. You can read the comment at that posting. The person rightly pointed out that some messes occur due to our being locked up by our holding onto false beliefs generated through culture, society, religion, family, and ect. The commentator then used the example that men often do not go for help with problems due to the false beliefs that they should be strong and figure it out by themselves. A false pride in self; which is only fear of breaking free from the belief controlling them. The email ended with victory in the power to choose to free oneself of the fears of false belief. So I wanted to look more at our power to choose.

We can face fewer false beliefs if we challenge them with critical thinking skills I mentioned in the post Living More Than OK By Using Critical Thinking Skills. I will discuss more on that topic as well in the future. Yet even using critical thinking is a choice we must make. I mentioned power along with choice. “The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose” J. Martin Kohe, (author and psychologist). We have amazing power for good possibilities and bad in our lives based on the choices we make. Hal Urban in his book Life’s Greatest Lessons says, “…we all have the potential to do more with our lives. Every human being is capable of making great strides in self development and major increases in achievements.” As I have mentioned before that is a driving force in my starting this blog --the desire to help people maximize their potential and possibilities in life.

Too many people fail to reach their potential because they feel they do not have control. They fail to see that each day is full of choices that affect our present and futures. Sure there are the flat tires that come in our lives. No one wakes up choosing to be stranded on the side of the road with a flat. Even then we make a choice to get out of the car to fix the flat or call Triple A to fix the flat for us. I am a firm believer in Chaos Theory. Happenstance happens. Yet when the stuff of life we cannot control come crushing in we still have a choice what to do in response. Even the response of allowing ourselves to be crushed by the circumstance is a choice. Been there, been crushed and don’t recommend remaining crushed for a length of time.

To maximize our living we need to see the positive choices we can make each day. Even to make lemonade out of the lemons that drop into our lives. One of my favorite Psychological theories, ( probably because I believe in the power of Choice), is Choice Theory by Dr. William Glasser. A central aspect of Choice Theory is the belief that we are internally, not externally motivated. While other theories suggest that outside events "cause" us to behave in certain predictable ways, Choice Theory teaches that outside events never "make" us to do anything. What drives our behavior are internally developed notions of what is most important and satisfying to us. … Another major concept in Choice Theory is the notion that we always have some choice about how to behave. This does not mean that we have unlimited choice or that outside information is irrelevant as we choose how to behave. It means that we have more control than some people might believe and that we are responsible for the choices we make. (from www.choicetheory.com). What is going on internally in us is more important than the externals that affect our life journey. We are responsible to make the best choices for our good and for those traveling on the journey with us.

I like Dr. Glasser’s thinking, as the quote states we do not ignore the external information. If I have a flat tire I don’t ignore it and keep driving. “ My the road sure seems to be bumpy!” Of course it is not the road it is the flat tire. If I ignore the external, the small problem of the flat tire turns into the big problem of a smashed rim and broken axle. That bigger problem was the result of my ignoring the small problem. So by understanding the power of our choices we can maximize our living and sidetrack many of our problems which are results of poor choices or choosing not to choose.
As you wake up each day understand that you, not others are in control of your choices. Make the choice to make choices that will be the best for your life journey and for those travelling with you. “It is the big choices we make that set our direction. It is the smallest choices we make that get us to the destination.” –Shad Helmstetter-

Reflection:

Do you take the time to use critical thinking in the choices you make?
How do you respond to the external flat tires in your life?
Are there some choices you need to make that may bring new possibilities to your life journey?