Reflections From Past During Exam

During the next couple of weeks I will be away concentrating and working on my Comprehensive Exams for my PhD in psychology. So I encourage you to randomly look back at my past blog posts for inspiring reflections about life. Simply click on past years and months or try your luck with the search engine with terms like critical thinking, creativity, happenstance, chaos theory, reading, Switchfoot, Matthew West, Toby Mac, God, savoring, and see what past writings may encourage your day.
I will be back in a couple weeks from today after I have my first draft of my exam writing finished. Keep growing in your life journey as you seek to Live More Than OK!

Positive Impacting Music To Live More Than OK

I was doing research on aggression for a class in my PhD program a week ago and my focus was to see the relation between music and aggression. I chose that because I believe music is a powerful force. It is one activity many people of all ages enjoy. Occasionally I will run into someone who hates music but most people either love music or at least enjoy it. When it comes to music should we be careful to what we listen to? I believe there are positives and negatives in most facets of life and to live the best life possible we should feed our mind with that which is the most positive. Today I want to share some of my thoughts on the importance of positive music as well as some of the information from various research.

I first began to think of just instrumental music and its effect experientially on people. A study out of Germany (Krahe & Bieneck. 2012) looked at how music affects the mood of listeners. They used two groups of listeners one listening to hardcore techno music and the other group listened to calm relaxing classical music. Those who listened to the heavy techno music did have higher levels of feelings of aggression and tension after listening. Those who listened to the calmer music had less tension and lower aggression levels. So this showed how even just the style of music may have an effect on emotional responses to those hearing the music. So, just the music alone has a physical effect on the listener. This does not mean listening to heavier beat music will turn someone violent as there are other factors. Actually when I am busy on organizing material or driving I prefer faster tempo music to keep my mind focused. Yet when needing to rest I prefer classical or smooth jazz.

One concern I have is the high levels of alcohol and drug abuse in our culture. A relevant study on music and substance abuse looked at various music styles and substance abuse among the listeners (Chen, Miller, Grube, & Waiters, 2006) . They found a high level of lyrical content about drugs, alcohol and violence in rap and heavy rock music songs. An interesting point that stood out to me is that with rap music many of the artists promote malt liquor and it just so happens in the study the highest use of malt liquor was among listeners of rap music. I am concerned about this as I am a big believer in the work of the organization Natural High. They seek to encourage school age students to think of natural ways to be high instead of using drugs and alcohol. Their website is naturalhigh.org. There are too many lives destroyed due to drugs and alcohol and there are so many positive ways to enjoy life instead of the phony myths that promote drugs as a good thing.

There was also a study of the negative effects of rap with College males using rap music (Barongan and Hall 1995). They used two groups one listening to positive rap that looked at social justice issues. The other group listened to sexual aggressive rap that spoke of women in a negative light. The participants were then to view video clips to share with a female confidant of the study. Those who listened to the positive rap leaned towards showing a video clip that was neutral to the female confidant participant. Those who listened to the sexual violent rap were more inclined to show the female participant in the study a video that was sexually demeaning. These researchers felt that the results backed up other studies in the literature that sexually violent rap does lead to a tendency towards negative views and aggression towards women. I have many college students in my classes, who list rap and hip hop as their favorite music style. This is disconcerting when I hear what they are filling their minds with lyrically. It reminds me of the old computer programming phrase, “Garbage In, Garbage Out!”. I tried a search for positive rap artists and none of the famous artists show up. That is because most of their rap songs are garbage promoting a demeaning view of women or promoting violence. . It would be nice to reach a point in the world, when all the women and men with critical thinking skills would walk out of a rap concert when the rappers start one of their derogatory misogynous songs, leaving the rappers standing in an empty concert hall all by themselves.

I am not encouraging censorship as I believe in the constitutional right of free speech. What I encourage people to do is think about what they listen to and support musicians that promote positive music to impact our living the best life possible. Here are some of my favorite musicians that I find as being very positive:

Phil Keaggy -- www.philkeaggy.com An amazing guitarist and singer/songwriter

Keiko Matsui -- www.keikomatsui.com My favorite smooth jazz pianist

Tom Braxton -- www.tombraxton.com Fantastic Saxophonist!

Switchfoot -- www.switchfoot.com A band introduced to me by a former TSTC student. They write songs that make one think about life and the afterlife.

Matthew West -- matthewwest.com A very inspiring singer/songwriter/storyteller

Lecrae -- www.lecrae.net A rapper who is trying to make a difference with rap music.


Reflection – Who are musicians and music styles that you like and find very positive? Check out a couple of the websites I list above and try out some new music.

References
Barongon, C. & Hall, G.C. N. ( 1995). The influence of misogynous rap music on sexual aggression against women. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 19. 195-207

Chen, M., Miller, B.A., Grube, J.W. & Waiters, E.D. Music, substance abuse, and aggression. Journal of Studies on Alcohol, May, 2006


Krahe, B. & Bieneck, S. ( 2012). The effect of music-induced mood on aggressive affect, cognition and behavior. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 42. 271-290.

Resilience And Knowing Our Limits

Resilience is that part of our being that keeps us going during the tough times. When we want to give up our resilience level is that inner voice that says don’t give up -- keep moving forward and upward. It helps us to bounce back when life throws us unexpected curveballs. We can through planning and goal setting control much of what life throws at us, but we can’t control everything. Resilience can give us the strength to keep plodding along the path instead of giving up.

We each have different difficulties on our journeys to test our resilience. In dealing with these difficulties part of resilience is knowing our limits and knowing when we need to ask for help. There is nothing wrong in asking for help. That help can come from our fellow travelers on life’s journey or Divine help as we call out to God for help.

Recently we as a family heard Matthew West in concert at a church in San Antonio. Many of his songs impacted me but one that stood out that evening was Strong Enough. Click on the title and listen to the song. You will find the video amazing.

Strong Enough by Matthew West

You must, You must think I'm strong, To give me what I'm going through

Well forgive me, Forgive me if I'm wrong, But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be, everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up , I'm not strong enough , Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be, Strong enough, Strong enough
For the both of us

Well maybe, Maybe that's the point, To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally, Finally at rock bottom, Well that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be, Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up ,I'm not strong enough , Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be, Strong enough, Strong enough

Cause I'm broken, Down to nothing, But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God, and you are strong, When I am weak

I can do all things, Through Christ who gives me strength, And I don't have to be
Strong enough, Strong enough

I can do all things, Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be, Strong enough Strong enough

I know I'm not strong enough to be, Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up, I'm not strong enough, Hands of mercy won't you cover me,
Lord right now I'm asking you to be, Strong enough, Strong enough, Strong enough.

The song reminded me of difficult days in Chicago after my mother had died, then shortly thereafter my oldest brother was diagnosed with cancer. He passed away months afterwards, wasting away to nothing in his final days. During that time of grief the company I worked for had a corporate takeover and I lost my job. Those were depressing days where like the song says I was at the point of giving up. This was a time when my resilience levels could not cope. I felt the strength of Christ by close friends at church filling in the gap. Also by holding onto the promises of God’s Word helped me to keep forward on the journey.

The song also reminded me of my volunteer work with a drug rehab center in Brownsville, Texas. Their groups used the 12 step program of Alcoholic Anonymous. If you work with addicts they know from their stories they had to hit rock bottom before seeking help. They will admit their turn around was only from God’s hand of grace reaching down to pull them up.

As you listened to the song and read over the lyrics did it remind you of past times of difficulties in your life. Maybe you are facing difficulties now – economic, health, broken relationships. Know that whatever you are facing you need to be open to know your limitations and reach for help. Maybe it is calling a friend to let them know what you are facing. Possibly you need to reach out to your local church or parish for help. Most importantly of all, I believe we need to reach out and understand Jesus Christ is there to give us strength enough for the difficulty we are facing.

Reflection -- Think over a past difficulty where you felt overwhelmed. In hindsight can you see how the Hand of God helped through the process whether through other people or in a miraculous happenstance occurrence. Also in these difficult days is there someone you know facing difficulties where you can be the hand of Christ by helping in love?

What Does Your Next Chapter Look Like?

Each of us on our journey has a story to tell. That story is our life. Many people enjoy reading biographies. These are life stories. I have noticed over this past year in bookstores many actors, politicians, and musicians have been having their memoirs written. With some,honestly, I question what have they done to merit a memoir? Yet I am sure their fans will enjoy reading their story.

What about you and me? Do you have a story to tell? In reality each day starts out as a new page in your life story. As we reach major turning points and life shifts these become new chapters in our story. Family, friends, culture, government, life events, and our personal power of choice helps to shape our story.

In Counseling Psychology there is a therapy technique called Narrative Therapy . It focuses on the story of a client’s life. The problems we face are built into our stories and created by all the factors that shape our story. The solution is helping people re-author their lives in choosing to write new chapter directions in their story.

A song by one of my favorite musicians, Matthew West encapsulates the power of story and re-authoring in our lives. Take time to listen to the song by clicking on the title and reflect over the words to the song.

The Story Of Your Life by Matthew West

Is this the end? Or only the beginning?
The second chance You never thought you'd get.
The question is Will you do something with it?
Or spend your days lost in your regret.

This is the story of your life. You decide how the rest is gonna read.
This is your chance between the lines. To redefine what kind of legacy you
Leave. This is the story of your life and it's a story worth telling.

Breathe in deep. Feel your heart still breathing.
Let's go see the reason you're alive. Oh, you are here
and love is up to something.
So take your fear and leave it all behind.

This is the story of your life You decide How the rest is gonna read.
This is your chance between the lines. To redefine what kind of legacy you
Leave. This is the story of your life And it's a story worth telling.
This is the joy. And it's the pain. And all the pages in between.
Your finest hour. Your weakest moment.
It where you've been, It's where you are, It's where you're going.

This is the story of your life. You decide How the rest is gonna read.
This is your chance between the lines. To redefine the kind of legacy you
Leave. This is the story of your life. Go tell the story of your life.
Cause it's a story worth telling, It's worth telling
Is this the end? Or only the beginning?

On our journey we face joys, pains, moments of weakness, moments of natural highs, and finest moments. In each of the moments we make choices that redefine the direction of the story. So we have the power to re-author our lives just as Narrative Therapy is saying.

Often in the painful moments we may become despondent and think our story is over. And sad to say some people make the choice to end their story. But if we realize our story is worth telling with all the pain and joys together, we can wake up each morning knowing a new page is turning.

I like the line that says “Cause it's a story worth telling”. We may never have a book written about us or have a movie about our story. Yet to those around us our story is important. We have a legacy that will live on after we move on to the next world. What will that story be? Maybe you are going through a change, As I mentioned I recently moved so I have a new chapter facing me. What does that next chapter look like?

Reflection: Take 30 minutes in a quiet place to free write a new chapter in your life. Think through your present moment and where do you want to go next. What are some new possibilities for your story? Another idea --Go to your local library and pick out a biography of someone to read. It may be someone you know in history or just pick a biography by random and read their story.

Moving Beyond Going Through The Motions

Stepping into a new year is a time to re-evaluate the previous year’s journey and start anew. I will continue in this blog to speak to topics of Positive Psychology and Spirituality that can help in living more than ok lives. Moving beyond the boredom, the sameness, the going through the motions that keep us from living a flourishing, abundant life; that our Creator created us for. That is why I would like to start the year off thinking over the words to this Matthew West song, The Motions. Click on the song title to hear and see a video of the song and then reflect over the lyrics below.


The Motions (click here)by Matthew West
This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something

Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

The dull routines of our individual rat race often leaves us feeling like we are just going through the motions each day. The feeling is kind of like the Movie, Ground Hog Day, where the day keeps happening over and over again. Matthew West captures the description of the desperate boring life many people find themselves trapped in, “Cause just ok is not enough, help me fight through the nothingness of life.” This is the life over the years I have seen students and others ensnared in and I have had my times of experiencing it as well. It is the “Just OK” life that keeps us living far below the potential that each of us have in us. It is the life that tricks us into seeing our work as just a job to grunt through, rather than a calling. It is a life that causes us to waste so much time staring at mind numbing TV shows or even nonsensical, inane Youtube videos for hours at a time.

The song, The Motions, reminds us of the power of choice. That we have a choice to make how we live our lives. Are we going to stay in the numbing comfort of the recliner and live just ok? Or are we willing to take a risk to step out to make a difference in life? Matthew West as a Christian is pointing to letting the passionate love of God to consume and control our lives. As a follower of this worldview I whole heartedly concur. Yet the principle of breaking out of the “unfeeling ok”, existence to finding a passionate purpose to take control of our living, can be expanded in many ways in each of our journeys. Christians and non-Christians can live lives of passion for maximum potential living and having no regrets in life. The key is making the right choices to move from just ok to more than ok.

At the beginning of this new year of 2010 take some time to look over your life. Do you have areas where the going through the motions is dragging you down into a tiresome boring existence? As you look back at 2009 do you have nagging regrets? Looking into this New Year do you want to feel more and live more is a positive way? As we journey through the year I will be bringing up topics that will discuss issues of moving beyond going through the motions. Hope you come back from time to time so I can help you with your “fight through the nothingness of life.”

Reflection:
Take some time in a quiet setting to reflect over the areas of your life where you feel like you are going through the motions. Jot those areas down on a paper, journal, or computer document. Then brainstorm some solutions and ideas to break out of the rut. Also in the brainstorming consider if there is a passion for something that you would like to take the risk to branch out into in this New Year.