Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Monday, July 17, 2017
Positive Psychology and Kindness in Montreal
Last week my wife and I enjoyed a mini-vacation in Montreal Canada. My primary purpose was to enjoy learning at the International Positive Psychology World Congress. I was thankful for the opportunity to share in a roundtable discussion time my dissertation research on flow activities and at-risk college students. My wife’s main purpose was to rest and relax from her work. The IPPA congress provided a wide range of topics on how to help people flourish in their life journey and how to help individuals focus in on well-being. These are topics that I focus on in my book, Living More Than OK. It was my first time to attend one of their World Congress’s.
This week’s post I will share just a few points that meant much to me from the congress. Several of the initial speakers I listened to spoke of the research that shows the importance of acts of kindness for our well-being. An important happenstance event happened the second day to illuminate what I had heard. My wife and I in the afternoon planned to take the metro train to Montreal’s Botanical garden. We went to the Metro station near our hotel and bought tickets. As we went to the turnstile my wife went through without a hitch. I went through then and the metal bar would not move. We tried the ticket several times. Several people passed by and then a man our age came over and asked in a thick French Canadian accent what was wrong. We explained the situation and he tried that ticket as well. He then told my wife to go down to the train platform and wait for me. He then told me to follow him. We walked down a separate stairwell and he took me to another entry point in the same station where there was a worker in the ticket booth. He explained in French what had happened to my wife and I, visitors from the US. The agent apologized for our inconvenience and let me through and I reconnected with my wife. I thanked the gentleman for his help and he went his way.
The other pictures here are from the Botanical Garden green houses. It was a rainy afternoon but their Garden had the best greenhouses we had ever experienced. Looking back at the event the man’s act of kindness was a true life example of what I had heard from several of the initial speakers at the conference. That kindness towards others is helpful in a meaningful way to all parties in the experience. The man did not have to stop as he could have acted, just as others, who had passed us by. Instead he went out of his way to take me to a ticket agent, who could help with my ticket problem and explain our problem in French. We were thankful to find people like that in Montreal.
Back to other meaningful learning points from the IPPA Congress. One of the more enjoyable sessions was a presenter in one of the round table sessions I attended. There were two presenters at the table and both did admirable jobs on their research presentations. The one I preferred was Annie Norman, who is the State Librarian for the State of Delaware. She was sharing about her state library’s research on the study of lifelong learning of readers in their libraries through a tracking system they have created. They provide useful journals that patrons can use to reflect on their reading. Since, I emphasize being a Bookhead in my book, Living More Than OK, when I saw her presentation listed on-line I could not pass it up. Being an avid supporter of libraries and reading programs I could not pass up her presentation. Her information did not disappoint. It was wonderful to hear from a librarian who understands how the services of libraries can inculcate human flourishing in the lives of the communities they serve.
My favorite session of the ones I attended was Saturday listening to Drs. Steger of Colorado State University & Russo-Netzer of University of Haifa, Israel, speak to the issue of purpose and meaning in their session, “More Than Skin Deep”. They pointed out the reality too often people are busy being busy or live in a survival mode instead of being truly alive. This connected with me, since I emphasize to people to move beyond being just OK to be Living More Than OK.
Their focus from what I picked up focuses in on being mindfully aware of searching and finding meaning in your life. This reminded me of Dr. Seligman of University of Pennsylvania in his keynote discussion where he shared research on the importance of meaning in having a flourishing life. I appreciated their emphasizing being intentional in your life as too many clients I have helped are too often just running on a negative autopilot through life and not being intentional about the choices they make in life. I see this in college students I work with as well. Another important point was encouraging us to take reflection time to visualize and draw out an icon or poster in response to the question “Know your Why?”. We add significance to our lives when we take time to understand the why force in our lives. The presenters made good use of group interaction even though it was a packed room.
Another important point they brought to light was in a discussion to the question “What is being fully alive?”. They helped with the myth on positive psychology that it is about being happy all the time. Some of our life highlights that lead to learning are not always happy. My parents’ deaths were not happy, my job loss in Chicago was not happy, other struggles on my journey have not been happy but finding the meaning in the 20/20 of hindsight adds to the meaning of life.
It was a great vacation to see the beautiful city of Montreal and for my wife to have a much needed break from her work. The congress time also added more lifelong learning to my life experience.
Reflection: What does being “fully alive” mean to you? Take a day sometime just to think through and reflect on “knowing your Why” – draw of a poster or icon about it.
Monday, February 27, 2017
But What Difference Can I Make?
When we see many of the problems around us in the world it is easy to be overwhelmed and think “What Difference Can I Make?”. The question makes sense as the problems we see are so huge and by ourselves we are just one person. We can understand better how to be difference makers through the book, The Power of One: How One Person Can Make a Difference. The book is co-authored by BJ Gallagher and Steve Ruttenberg. BJ Gallagher is an author and motivational speaker and Steve Ruttenberg is a entrepreneur.
By reading the stories, quotes, and poetry they have compiled, your eyes can be opened to the power you have to make a difference in the world around you. We can’t solve all the world’s problems but if we are open and willing, the stories here show how we can impact our surroundings by doing something instead of giving up. An important quote given to remind us of this is: ”The purpose of life is not to be happy—but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference, that you have lived at all.” (Leo Rostin, Polish-born Writer). Thinking of the quote I would add that your happiness quotient will increase as you desire to make a difference in other people’s lives.
The stories provided in the book show how by a simple smile or an act of kindness can make a difference in another person’s life. Some of the stories show how one person’s actions can have an exponential effect on many people’s lives. The consequences of what we do can have positive impact on other’s lives. Another quote they include in the book speaks to this. “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” (William James – philosopher and psychologist). If we keep open to the needs around us and living out kindness and generosity we will be surprised how often this James quote comes true in our life journey.
Reading the Power of One, as I read the stories of single individuals making an impact of the world reminded me of one of my favorite, one person making a difference stories. I have mentioned the story before of Jon Sundt who is the founder of the organization, Natural High, which encourages young people to discover natural passions in their lives so as not to fall into the drug scene. Thinking of the Power of One, Jon’s organization was created out of sorrow and grief in the early 1990’s. He had lost his two younger brothers to drugs and wanted to make a difference so others would not have to endure the pain his parents and he went through. Instead of being stuck with the question “But What Difference Can I Make?” he became a difference maker by doing something. You can go to naturalhigh.org for more of the story and see what this great organization does in schools across the country.
Natural High finds musicians and sport stars to share their passions or natural highs. These stories can motivate young people to move away from the lies of the drug world that tells them to enjoy life you need to smoke, snort, or shoot to get high. Instead they can learn how to enjoy life in drug free ways. As a counselor I have used their videos with all age groups to encourage people to look for their own natural highs for a better life. Here is a sample of their videos that can be seen on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRW_-dDKnkU If you know an educator or school counselor k-12 let them know about Natural High.
Another important quote from BJ Gallagher and Steve Ruttenberg’s book is “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” (Anne Frank – diarist). Realize that you have power in yourself to make a difference in the world around you. It may be as simple as smiling at a cashier to brighten someone’s work day. It may be posting a positive quote on Facebook or Twitter to make other people think positive. Or it may be the start of solving a problem that may affect thousands if not millions of people. Move beyond being stuck on the question - What Difference Can I Make?
Reflection: Think back to a time when you made a difference in someone’s life? What is your favorite story of someone making a difference in the world? What is one way you can make a difference using your power of one today?
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Improving Your Attitude Is Important In Living More Than OK
What is it that shapes our outlook on each day and our future? How can several people experience the same event and have totally different feelings and ideas about it? One person looks at a rainy day as a terrible nuisance and another thinks it is helpful for the plants and nature or enjoys it as a great day to relax and read, (my personal favorite). This shaper of our mental outlook is our attitude. We all have an attitude all the time. The problem is what kind of attitude do we carry around with us?
There is a motivational company called Simple Truths that promotes positive books on a variety of topics. They also have short motivational videos that are very uplifting to the spirit and can help think over better ways to live our lives. I want to share with you one that is on the topic of Attitude. Before we progress further take a moment and click on the below title and watch the video:
Attitude Is Important (Click on Title)
There are too many uplifting ideas in this video to expound on in this short blog post. I just want to touch on a few that meant the most to me as I watched it. The first is what I think most of us relate to when considering attitude. Stay Positive. A positive attitude is so important to living the best life possible. I often ask college students in lecture who would you rather hang around with? Someone with a positive attitude towards life or a negative attitude? Always the response is the desire to be with a positive attitude person. There is always the rare wise aleck student that states they enjoy negativity.
To have the best life possible, we need to as the video states, have an attitude that “Expects the Best”. If we expect the best, that attitude motivates us to do our best to get what we desire. To go for our dreams and reach our goals we need to have that expectation of the best to fully reach them. Listen to testimonials of sport stars and musicians you will often catch that “expecting the best attitude” in their talk. This drives their discipline to be the best. We each can use that attitude in achieving what we each are passionate about.
Attitudes are relational as they affect how we relate to those around us. The thought in the video about an attitude of kindness is important to consider. “It is not the things you get, but the hearts you touch that will determine your success in life”. The kindness attitude seeks to help build other people up not to tear them down. A good question to ask in relating to others is how do we view others? Is it with a kind heart or a disdainful heart? Greater than kindness is having a loving attitude. The quote in the video is so true which I believe is why they call their company Simple Truths. “Love doesn't make the world go round – Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” To live a life of purpose and fulfill our mission God has us in this life for is to be people with loving attitudes. This is why the Bible states the “greatest of these is love” in I Corinthians 13.
Another question I want to end with is in the middle of the Simple Truths video clip. It speaks of how attitudes are contagious. Attitudes can rub off on others. Consider a work situation where negative comments are being tossed about by a worker who has a bad attitude. Soon others chime in and try to one up the negative statements. The work climate soon becomes very negative and gloomy. Consider the same work group situation but this time a positive attitude person encourages a co-worker and is always cheerful and kind. Often then the office atmosphere becomes more positive. So here is an important question to consider – Is my attitude worth catching?
Reflection: What were the main ideas of the attitude video that caught your attention? The video speaks of singing your song. Is there a song you like that could be considered your life theme song?
There is a motivational company called Simple Truths that promotes positive books on a variety of topics. They also have short motivational videos that are very uplifting to the spirit and can help think over better ways to live our lives. I want to share with you one that is on the topic of Attitude. Before we progress further take a moment and click on the below title and watch the video:
Attitude Is Important (Click on Title)
There are too many uplifting ideas in this video to expound on in this short blog post. I just want to touch on a few that meant the most to me as I watched it. The first is what I think most of us relate to when considering attitude. Stay Positive. A positive attitude is so important to living the best life possible. I often ask college students in lecture who would you rather hang around with? Someone with a positive attitude towards life or a negative attitude? Always the response is the desire to be with a positive attitude person. There is always the rare wise aleck student that states they enjoy negativity.
To have the best life possible, we need to as the video states, have an attitude that “Expects the Best”. If we expect the best, that attitude motivates us to do our best to get what we desire. To go for our dreams and reach our goals we need to have that expectation of the best to fully reach them. Listen to testimonials of sport stars and musicians you will often catch that “expecting the best attitude” in their talk. This drives their discipline to be the best. We each can use that attitude in achieving what we each are passionate about.
Attitudes are relational as they affect how we relate to those around us. The thought in the video about an attitude of kindness is important to consider. “It is not the things you get, but the hearts you touch that will determine your success in life”. The kindness attitude seeks to help build other people up not to tear them down. A good question to ask in relating to others is how do we view others? Is it with a kind heart or a disdainful heart? Greater than kindness is having a loving attitude. The quote in the video is so true which I believe is why they call their company Simple Truths. “Love doesn't make the world go round – Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” To live a life of purpose and fulfill our mission God has us in this life for is to be people with loving attitudes. This is why the Bible states the “greatest of these is love” in I Corinthians 13.
Another question I want to end with is in the middle of the Simple Truths video clip. It speaks of how attitudes are contagious. Attitudes can rub off on others. Consider a work situation where negative comments are being tossed about by a worker who has a bad attitude. Soon others chime in and try to one up the negative statements. The work climate soon becomes very negative and gloomy. Consider the same work group situation but this time a positive attitude person encourages a co-worker and is always cheerful and kind. Often then the office atmosphere becomes more positive. So here is an important question to consider – Is my attitude worth catching?
Reflection: What were the main ideas of the attitude video that caught your attention? The video speaks of singing your song. Is there a song you like that could be considered your life theme song?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)





