Growth Mindset and Positive Emotions To Keep On Going

This semester of teaching is going by so fast. Part of this fastness perception was trying to get my college teaching classes off to a good start while ending a quarter of my dissertation work. With the dissertation it was a Summer quarter of trying to gain final approval on my research. There were items out of my control giving me grief and stress so it was hard to keep a positive front to my college students with my own educational stress was making my self-talk want to throw in the towel.

Thankfully as the quarter ended I did finally gain full approval for my research. So in the near future I hope to run my research study. So I realized I need to keep a mindset of growth to keep on going on the dissertation marathon.

Early on in each semester I go over in my college success courses the importance of Mindset based on the work of Dr. Carol Dweck. I was grateful this year in our pre-semester adjunct professor training to be affirmed in emphasizing this to students. At our training this year the guest speaker was Dr. Janet Nay Zadina. She was a former teacher and now an educational neuroscientist. I have gone to these mandatory training for years and she was the most noteworthy presenter I have heard. Listening to her I could feel her passion for education. She was not there to just pick up a speaker’s paycheck. Instead she wanted to instill the importance of helping college students grow in successful ways.

I was lucky in the drawing at the final morning session as I won a copy of her book, Multiple Pathways to the Student Brain and the corresponding workbook. It is an effective resource for educators on best practices to help students learn based on the most recent neuroscience research.

The most important aspect from her session and in her book for me was the emphasis on encouraging students to understand growth versus fixed mindset early in the school year or semester. Dr. Zadina pointed out that the growth mindset allows the student to break free from the fixed thinking of “I just can’t do it” or “That’s not the way I am”. Often those students struggling with math or writing will say statements like that which become self-fulfilling prophecies in math and English courses. Or the student that does poorly in Speech will say “I can’t speak in public”.
When students understand the growth mindset that they have the ability to grow in every area of their lives it frees them up from the negativity. This then allows them to obtain better abilities in all areas of academics as well as other areas of life.

Another area in the book and her presentation that stood out to me was the need to emphasize positive emotions. So many struggling students are bound up by negative beliefs and a victim mentality. By emphasizing positive emotions such as gratitude, confidence, enthusiasm, inspiration and awe they often can move in a positive direction in re-framing their mindset about their possible success in their academics in college.

As a therapist as well, I see many personal problems are caused by people being bound up by negative emotions such as frustration, jealousy, despair and envy. When they move over to a habit of allowing positive emotions control their lives they are more likely to overcome problems such as anxiety and depression.

I had to deal with this myself as I was frustrated with gaining research approval so I could move forward with my dissertation. It is easy to let negativity and the “maybe I should give up mentality” take over. But I did not give into that and kept pressing on and finally approval came. Granted too late to do the research this semester on my time line. Overlooking that, I simply created a new timeline starting with the January semester. So I will keep on with my dissertation marathon and continue to encourage my college students to focus on growth in their lives as well.

Reflection: Examine your reactions to life – are you guided more by negative emotions or positive emotions? How can you build up your positive emotions more in your daily life?

Revealing Pain Through Beauty

Last week while I was at the Texas Counseling Association conference in Dallas, Texas, my wife, daughter and I went to hear the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. They were performing Concerto in E minor for Cello and Orchestra, Op. 85 by English composer Edward Elgar. They also performed Pavane, Op. 50 and Requiem, Op. 48 by French Composer Gabriel Faure’. I had never heard of these composers so we attended the lecture prior to the performance to learn more about the composers. I highly recommend taking advantage of any community lectures before a classical performance as the information adds to the enjoyment of the performing of the musical works.

With Edward Elgar I was surprised that I was familiar with one of his works. Matter of fact anyone who has graduated would be familiar with his Pomp and Circumstance No. 1 that is played as a march at most high school and university graduations. His cello concerto was composed in his later years. It is a dark emotional work reflecting the mindset of Elgar, who had become disillusioned like many after WWI with the atrocities of mass killings and mustard gas killings. Also his wife that he loved dearly was gravely ill and he was facing illness as well. The program listed a quote from a letter he wrote that showed Elgar’s mindset, “Everything good and nice and clean is far away never to return.”
Knowing what his mindset was, I was setting up myself to hear a depressing sad piece. Yet as the young cellist, Alisa Weilerstein, performed her magic on the piece, I was captured with the beauty of the notes and emotion rising from the music. Yes, melancholic and dark, but still beautiful at the same time. It made me think of the wonder of the creative mind of Elgar to be going through personal pain yet creating music that could showcase the beauty of the range of tones from the cello.

With Gabriel Faure’ he was a contemporary of Elgar and the pre-performance lecture noted they had even met. Faure’ was trained in his schooling to go into church music and he started as a church organist. The requiem was a funeral mass piece Faure’ composed. So again at the lecture I was thinking another depressing piece about death. A difference was mentioned though compared to regular funeral mass music Faure’ wanted to take a different view of death. Most requiems that were popular at that time period, emphasized judgment in death. His requiem focused on solace and rest. The program notes listed a quote from Faure’ “It has been said that my Requiem does not express the fear of death and someone has called it a lullaby of death. But it is thus that we see death: as a happy deliverance, an aspiration toward happiness above; rather than a painful experience.” What a powerful statement as a way to look at death. It caused me to think back to my mother’s death years ago and the joy that was expressed at her home-going celebration at her church, remembering hymns she enjoyed and also as people shared kind thoughts about her.

When we heard the Requiem performed the Dallas Symphony choir performed along with the piece. The piece was far from depressing instead sections were majestic and powerful and other sections where light and airy. The solo “Pie Jesu” was performed by soprano Susanna Phillips. Her voice was amazing in capturing the emotion and lightness of the piece. In the reflection section below I have a short video clip of Barbara Bonney performing this solo. Do give it a listen.

Pain and death are subjects we don’t like to consider but they are part and parcel of our life journey. It helps us to understand these negative aspects of life through the creative mind of the artist, poet, or music composer as they bring bring beauty and different ways to understand the topics.

Reflection - What solace do you turn to during times of pain or grief through loss? To these composers who lived in difficult times of the hardships right after WWI music was a solace to use as an outlet. Take a listen to “Pie Jesu” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJanc3-a320 and think over what you felt after listening to it

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and The Mind

Last week I was looking at the power of music for positive effects in our lives. So I thought I would zero in on a song this week. It is another song by Amy Grant off her How Mercy Looks From Here – CD. I want to focus in on the importance of the initial lines of the song. The words relate so well with self-fulfilling prophecy from our self-talk; that defeats us keeping us away from an abundant life. Self-fulfilling prophecy is when we allow our thoughts from our self-talk take over and the results are what we have been feeding our mind. For example let’s say a person is dreading a meeting at work on Monday. He keeps repeating to himself that something terrible is going to happen. Low and behold at the meeting things do not go well for him and afterwards he states, “I knew something bad was going to happen today”. That is self-fulfilling prophecy in action.

Click on the title of the song to listen to Amy Grant sing the song and focus in on the beginning lyrics.

"Not Giving Up" Amy Grant

If you think you're gonna fail Well, you're probably gonna fail
So tell me, what was all the dreaming for? And if you think you're gonna lose
Well, you're probably gonna lose So what's the point in trying anymore?

What you're looking for, you'll find It happens every time

I'm not giving up, Not giving up on you
You can say you've had enough But I won't stop calling,
I'm not giving up, Not giving up on you, Not giving up on you

When your fragile heart is breaking And your confidence is shaken
I can tell you that we've all been there before The first step is hard to take
But it's a choice you gotta make When life is waiting through that open door

I wish that you could see The way you look to me

I'm not giving up, Not giving up on you
You can say you've had enough But I won't stop calling,
I'm not giving up, Not giving up on you, Not giving up on you

Oh, not so long ago, You pulled me through

So I'm not giving up, Not giving up on you
Even if the rain comes down And your sky is falling
I'm not giving up, Not giving up on you
You can say you've had enough But I won't stop calling,
I'm not giving up, Not giving up on you
You know we can work this out If we just keep talking
I'm not giving up, Not giving up on you , Not giving up on you

Cause is you think you have a chance, Then you really have a chance
I hope you know that I believe in you

The opening lines of the song discuss the mental choices of negativity that many choose to repeat in their self-talk – “I’m gonna fail or I’m gonna lose”. If the mind is filled with that type of mindset a negative result will occur. I have seen it time and time again in the lives of students and clients. The descriptor words we feed our minds do have an impact. The question at the beginning of the song can be heard from people who allow negative self-talk to control their minds. So what's the point in trying anymore? So people give up and choose to just exist with OK living and spiral down in to further negativity. Their confidence continues to weaken as the see negative results in their lives totally unaware that it all goes back to the self-fulfilling prophecy of the negatives they are feeding their minds with.

That is why it is so important to take time to think through what we are saying to ourselves. The self-talk we feed our minds with have a direct correlation to the outflow of our choices and actions. That is what is important about the line “But it's a choice you gotta make When life is waiting through that open door.” We need to make choices about what we want in and of our lives each day and in the future. We can only spiral up to abundant, living more than OK, living by having a positive mindset that comes from feeding our minds with positive self-talk. Making the use of positive self-affirmations, positive quotes, scriptural promises are what can create the mindset that can give us powerful wise choices that improve our lives for the better. Dr. William Glasser in his book Choice Theory states, “When you learn that you are almost always free to make better choices, the concept that you choose your misery can lead to optimism. This new awareness is a major redefinition of your personal freedom.” (Page 77)

What the song is getting at relates to the Dr. Glasser quote in that through our choices we can change the self-fulfilling prophecy. We do not have to continually fail or lose all the time. We all will fail at times as that is one way we learn. But changing the mindset to that there is a chance for success moves us towards having more opportunities to have more success in our overall life.

Of course a larger point in the song is that it also helps to have those around us who build us up by never giving up on us. There is a sense of reciprocity in the phrase “Oh, not so long ago, You pulled me through”. As others help us we need in turn to help others not to give up. Why I stressed the beginning lines is, yes, it is good to have others believe in us. But bottom line, you can have a group of people who believe in you, but if you do not believe in yourself nothing will change. We each need to be in charge of making right choices to make positive changes.

Reflection: What kind of mindset is guiding your choices – positive or negative? Do you have a friend or friends in your life that do not give up on you? Where does God fit into the picture of not giving up?