Stop and Smell the Roses With Awe

Awe is a difficult emotion to reduce to a simple definition. Even though defining it is difficult we can understand it when we experience it. The deep sense of wonderment in staring up into a starry sky. The enjoyment of deep peace in seeing a beautiful sunset or sunrise. The pleasantness of pondering over a precious memory that brings a sense of calmness. All these bring into our lives a feeling of awe. Wonderment, reflection, expanding our spirit to consider a greater power in the universe are feelings that make up awe in our lives. How can awe help us in the turmoil of anxiety, depression, pain and existential angst? Months ago I came across a book The Power of Awe that discussed and answered this question. It is written by Jake Eagle LPC, a psychotherapist and Michael Amster, MD, a physician and professor. They worked together on a method called AWE method to help people bring more awe into their lives. They worked on the method during the pre-Covid time era and did research on the method during Covid. The book is the result of their work and research. I was blessed to purchase a copy early and was part of a short class the authors did live online. This experience of meeting them online revealed their passion for awe and for being true people helpers. What is this awe method? On pages 63 & 64 they give a synopsis. A stands for attention which is giving your focused attention to what you find amazing, you appreciate or a memory you are fond of. The W is for wait, take a slow in breath and out breath pondering what you are attending. Then the E is for exhale and expand where on your final exhale you grow your feeling on the object of your attention. If you think that sounds like mindfulness you would be correct as it would be classified in the mindfulness family. If I remember correctly they term the method as a micro dose of mindfulness meditation. This is a way to introduce mindfulness more into our lives in brief 30 second time frames. If the book they discuss how this is used as they recommend 3-5 times a day. Since it only takes about 30-60 seconds that is a mere 5 minutes a day which most anyone can do. I always recommend meditation to my clients but I have had some who say they don’t have the time. Then when I explain the AWE Method they say “I can do that!”. The authors show the result of studies in the book of how their regimen has helped lower anxiety, depression and pain in the lives of people. And remember most of the studies were done during Covid when anxiety and depression were off the charts. Near the end of the book one of the many problem areas discussed was existential anxiety which I find in many of the people I work with in the Post-Covid era. The angst goes beyond covid and relates to the cultural difficulties people face in a busy fast paced world. This whole concept of Awe reminds me of a lecture I heard once by Dr. Tal Ben Shahar. He was taking note to how hurried people are in our electronic gadget age. He reminded the audience to “take the time to smell the roses” and notice the wonderment of the world around us. That is one element I have personally found in the AWE Method is it creates a better sense of noticing the beauty and wonder in the world. On page 163 the authors address this “We have found that awe—remarkably—works to alleviate existential anxiety, because it brings us out of Safety Consciousness (where existential anxiety arises) into Spacious Consciousness. When we experience Spacious Consciousness, time, words, measurements, and comparisons don’t exist, and so existential anxiety is no longer relevant.” Appreciating a Higher Power, appreciating the wonders of nature and the good things that have happened in our lives builds a bulwark of inner strength that add to gratitude and enjoying life amidst life’s difficulties. You can find more about the AWE Method at www.thepowerofawe.com or better yet buy the book. As I write this it is still before Christmas. What better gift to give to yourself or another is a gift that will help build a life of awe in the New Year? Reflection: Take a few minutes to ponder on an awe experience in your life. Was there something you experienced that brought a sense of wonderment to your life? How did you feel when you experienced that?

Life Wounds Can Be Bearers of Light

One myth about positive psychology is that it just focuses in on happiness and ignores the difficulties of life. That is so far from the truth. Yes it does provide research on happiness which of course is a good thing, as who does not want to be happy. Just think of it, even our Declaration of Independence speaks of happiness, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness….”. Still, positive psychology does speak to the illnesses and hurts that affect mankind. The principles they research can aid in overcoming hurts and wounds that are realities in our life journey.

I thought of this as I was listening to Switchfoot’s latest CD, Where The Light Shines Through. I want you to focus your attention to the lyrics of their title song. As always, first click on the title and listen to the video of the song

"Where The Light Shines Through" Switchfoot (click on the title to hear the song)

When you're feeling like an astronaut
Stuck on a planet even time forgot, and
You're a version of yourself, but you're not the same
You try to keep the wound camouflaged, and
The stitches heal, but the years are lost, and
Another bottle on the shelf can't numb the pain

Why're you running from yourself now?
You can't run away

Cause your scars shine like dark stars
Yeah, your wounds are where the light shines through
So let's go there, to that place where
We sing these broken prayers where the light shines through--
The wound is where the light shines through
Yeah, the wound is where the light shines through

Ain't we all just Abraham's son?
Saint and sinner with the song and drum, and
We're fallen on our knees, we all bleed the same
And the only tattoos I have are scars
I got your name written on my heart
And the story that brought us here ain't the thing that changed, no

I wanna see that light shining
Brighter than the pain

Cause your scars shine like a dark star
Yeah, your wounds are where the light shines through
So let's go there, to that place where
We sing these broken prayers where the light shines through
The wound is where the light shines through

Mama, ain't the blood just proof I'm human?
Mama, ain't the wound just retribution?
Well Mama, ain't the scar like a vision of grace?

The wound is where the light shines through
The wound is where the light finds you
The wound is where the light shines through
The wound is where the light finds you
Your scars shine like dark stars
Yeah, the wound is where the light shines through
It's where the light shines through
Yeah, yeah, it's where the light shines through
Yeah, the only time to our heart, oh oh
It's where the light shines through
Where the light shines, where the light shines through
Where the light shines though
It's where the light shines through

As I listened to the song I thought of times of wounds in my life. Back in Chicago there were wounds of hurtful relationships, memories of my mom’s death and oldest brother’s death. There were work difficulties and times of wondering what should be my direction in life. Over the years I have worked with students and in counseling practice I have observed many people’s life pains and wounds. The song speaks truth in that while we go through life wounds, we can feel as if we are outside of life like outer space as we experience pain because we know the pain is not where we are meant to keep living. You feel as if you are somewhere, where God has forgotten you. Some people hide the pain as I made mention in my book, Living More Than OK, some can smile and say “everything is OK while living in the pain”. Others turn to substances like drugs or alcohol, “Another bottle on the shelf can't numb the pain”. Like hiding they find substances do not help with the pain long-term.

The song encourages facing the pain and learning from the wounds that come into our lives. The lyric phrase “Well Mama, ain't the scar like a vision of grace?” to me points out that our wounds can be a turning point to learn more of God’s Grace in our lives. Letting the light shine though our wounds breaks the hold of life pains on us and bring us back to earth where we can serve others who are hurting.

The song writer reminds us that we are all fellow brothers and sisters who each have our own wounds and scars. As we let the light shine through we can learn to grow in our lives and learn to be better people helpers to those around us. I have met people who after the fact are thankful for the tough times they went through as they became stronger in their life journey because of the difficulties and wounds they faced. As I look back of course I did not enjoy in the moment, my life difficulties but they have helped in serving college students as I can be real with them about what they will face in their futures. The past difficulties have been helpful in serving counseling clients, as I can encourage those hurting that the light will shine through in their lives if they do not give up.

Reflection: Think through some of your wound times in your life. In looking back do you see some light shining through that you learned from? How have the hardships and difficulties in your life journey made you a better person today?

Revealing Pain Through Beauty

Last week while I was at the Texas Counseling Association conference in Dallas, Texas, my wife, daughter and I went to hear the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. They were performing Concerto in E minor for Cello and Orchestra, Op. 85 by English composer Edward Elgar. They also performed Pavane, Op. 50 and Requiem, Op. 48 by French Composer Gabriel Faure’. I had never heard of these composers so we attended the lecture prior to the performance to learn more about the composers. I highly recommend taking advantage of any community lectures before a classical performance as the information adds to the enjoyment of the performing of the musical works.

With Edward Elgar I was surprised that I was familiar with one of his works. Matter of fact anyone who has graduated would be familiar with his Pomp and Circumstance No. 1 that is played as a march at most high school and university graduations. His cello concerto was composed in his later years. It is a dark emotional work reflecting the mindset of Elgar, who had become disillusioned like many after WWI with the atrocities of mass killings and mustard gas killings. Also his wife that he loved dearly was gravely ill and he was facing illness as well. The program listed a quote from a letter he wrote that showed Elgar’s mindset, “Everything good and nice and clean is far away never to return.”
Knowing what his mindset was, I was setting up myself to hear a depressing sad piece. Yet as the young cellist, Alisa Weilerstein, performed her magic on the piece, I was captured with the beauty of the notes and emotion rising from the music. Yes, melancholic and dark, but still beautiful at the same time. It made me think of the wonder of the creative mind of Elgar to be going through personal pain yet creating music that could showcase the beauty of the range of tones from the cello.

With Gabriel Faure’ he was a contemporary of Elgar and the pre-performance lecture noted they had even met. Faure’ was trained in his schooling to go into church music and he started as a church organist. The requiem was a funeral mass piece Faure’ composed. So again at the lecture I was thinking another depressing piece about death. A difference was mentioned though compared to regular funeral mass music Faure’ wanted to take a different view of death. Most requiems that were popular at that time period, emphasized judgment in death. His requiem focused on solace and rest. The program notes listed a quote from Faure’ “It has been said that my Requiem does not express the fear of death and someone has called it a lullaby of death. But it is thus that we see death: as a happy deliverance, an aspiration toward happiness above; rather than a painful experience.” What a powerful statement as a way to look at death. It caused me to think back to my mother’s death years ago and the joy that was expressed at her home-going celebration at her church, remembering hymns she enjoyed and also as people shared kind thoughts about her.

When we heard the Requiem performed the Dallas Symphony choir performed along with the piece. The piece was far from depressing instead sections were majestic and powerful and other sections where light and airy. The solo “Pie Jesu” was performed by soprano Susanna Phillips. Her voice was amazing in capturing the emotion and lightness of the piece. In the reflection section below I have a short video clip of Barbara Bonney performing this solo. Do give it a listen.

Pain and death are subjects we don’t like to consider but they are part and parcel of our life journey. It helps us to understand these negative aspects of life through the creative mind of the artist, poet, or music composer as they bring bring beauty and different ways to understand the topics.

Reflection - What solace do you turn to during times of pain or grief through loss? To these composers who lived in difficult times of the hardships right after WWI music was a solace to use as an outlet. Take a listen to “Pie Jesu” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJanc3-a320 and think over what you felt after listening to it