When we are caught up in the malaise of okness it is easy to focus on complaining how boring life is. We then spiral into more negativity and get caught up in a cycle of just existing and the habit of complaining. Some complaining can be useful if it realistically is discovering a problem to solve, or providing an impetus to improve. Yet all too often we keep on with the complaining, and habitually gripe -- that mires our thought lives with negativity. A positive way of breaking this cycle is to look at life with a grateful heart of thankfulness.
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus
“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” -Margaret Cousins
"I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder." - G.K. Chesterton
The above quotes relate to having a grateful heart. Being grateful in our daily attitude is to focus on being thankful concerning what we have and the good things in our past that have helped mold us to who we are at this present point in time. Being thankful for parents, teachers, friends, and influential heroes that have shaped our present brings inner joy. This helps to counter the blame game of victimhood. Gratefulness for our present situation is a contentment that guards against complaining about what we don’t have.
The sense of appreciation that comes from a grateful heart changes our life for the better. It can break the cycle of negativity if we are in the habit of complaining. Building the habit of a grateful heart will also affect the lives of those around us. For example, when you smile or say “have a nice day”, to a tired sales clerk you can see an immediate body language change as they return a smile and say thanks. Try it on your next shopping trip. Give a smile to the worker at the counter and you will notice a difference. Too many complain, “That store clerk was rude”; “the waitress was so unfriendly”. Maybe they just need a smile to remind them of how they should be. So our appreciative nature may influence others to be more thankful and happy as well.
The Chesterton quote pointed out to me that gratefulness can lead us to a sense of happy wonder. A deep spiritual joy can grow in our inner being as we look at the small things around us, and see how a simple thing like a rose in the garden brightens our day. Noticing the little miracles in life will lead us to having an awe-filled day instead of an awful day. We have a dear friend, Cathy Matovich, who manages a birding store,( Wild Bird Center), in the Chicago area. She gave us a Hummingbird Feeder on our Summer trip to Chicago. We have it hanging on our back patio and there is a sense of joyful awe of God’s creation as we watch our hyperactive little friends flitting about enjoying the nectar from the feeder. We can appreciate God’s creation as we enjoy our morning coffee while watching the birds.
I have had my times in the negative complaining mode, so I can appreciate the experiential difference of living in a more appreciative mindset. In a Positive Psychology class I am taking online; this past week’s lectures have touched on the issue of gratefulness. It is helpful to see the research on the topic. Here are some Samples of research on being grateful that can be found at this website by Dr. Emmons—
http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/labs/emmons/ . From looking at the research it is seen that having gratefulness in our daily living has physical health benefits for better health, positive mental health benefits, increased happiness levels, and higher levels of personal success. That is what Living More Than OK is all about.
Many religious traditions speak to the subject of thankfulness and gratefulness. As I have mentioned in past postings, my spiritual heritage and personal worldview comes from a Christian standpoint of having a personal relation with Christ. Here at the following website are samplings of verses on the importance of being thankful from the Judeo Christian viewpoint:
http://www.wisdomportal.com/Gratitude/Gratitude-Bible.html
Ephesians 5:19 & 20 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
The two verses above are a couple of my favorites on gratefulness. Ephesians 5 speaks to our interpersonal communication that it would be positive in nature. Speaking to each other with Psalms and hymns with an attitude of thankfulness. Philippians 4:6 speaks of overcoming anxiety by the act of spiritual prayer in an attitude of thankfulness. We may not be blissfully happy about everything that is happening to us but by keeping a thankful heart we are better able to cope with life difficulties.
Take 15 minutes to think over two things you are grateful for in your life. How does the reflection over these things make you feel? Is there a person or persons related to what you are grateful for?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Embracing Chaos Shifts in Your Career Life
In this ever-changing often chaotic world we live in, there can be unpredictable twists and turns in our career journey. Add in the economic stressors of job losses or fear of job loss may create tension bringing anxiety and depression. Feelings, such as Paul McCartney’s “Live and Let Die” Lyrics - "But If This Ever Changing World In Which We're Livin' Makes You Give In And Cry" can turn your life upside down. We can either give in to the stress, continually crying about the chaos or we can embrace the situation as a shift in our lives making the most of it and press on to new directions and possibilities.
I am not making light of these moments, as I have had my share of depressive moments in my journey; as my well paved plans buckled up and blocked my pathway. Thankfully I had my faith in God, good friends to seek advice from, and made the use of Professional Counselors at the deepest point of the struggle. In Living the More Than OK life we need to look at the realities of life that it is not a clearly marked yellow brick road, instead often it is a turning, twisting, bumpy, and pot-holed filled path. When a shift occurs through a serendipitous happening we need to work through any pain, ( with a help of a professional Counselor can help), and move on in a positive manner.
I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Jim Bright this past July, at the NCDA, (National Career Development Conference) in St. Louis, MO. He is one of the main thinkers behind the Chaos Theory of Careers. His presentation drove home a point that although our lives do have stable smooth flowing times, we need to be prepared for when the tumultuousness of complex unplanned events come into our lives. For each one of us these events vary in number and intensity. We need to have an openness to new ideas that come through pleasant chance events or unplanned times of adversity.
Reading of Chaos Theory reminds me of a student I had in one of my classes a few years ago who was a very good student and never missed class. Then mid semester he stopped coming. I tried contacting him to no avail until the end of the term I finally contacted him. It was too late to salvage his semester. He said a family event occurred that knocked him flat and could not keep going. I encouraged him to regroup and keep going in the future not to let the event stop him from the education he wanted. He did not plan during the semester for this difficulty to happen. It just happened and stopped him cold. . As I often tell students no one wakes up and says, “Boy, this is a great day for a flat tire!”
Dr. Bright was considerate enough to send me this YouTube video he created which looks at some of the issues in chaos theory. Click on the link and take a moment to view it.
Where Will You Be?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrpC0pZHUe4&feature=autoshare_twitter
Viewing the video made me think of the career shifts in my life from a library worker during High School, before college a shipping clerk in Ohio, then a janitor and library worker working my way through school in Chicago, customer service in publishing and other companies in the Chicago area, Real Estate in South Texas, and finally teaching and Counseling college students in South Texas. Some of the careers have been planned and some unplanned through necessity.
I also thought through the concept of the Butterfly effect thinking over small events that had a big effect in my latter time periods of my journey. Sometimes it was a discussion I had with someone that seemed insignificant at the time but as I look back in the grand scheme there was an effect on my life. One impetus in starting this blog was I always wanted to do some writing of my ideas. This I believe stems from my favorite teacher, Mrs. Verna Clifford, from 3rd grade who had us write little stories in her class. It was a little class assignment, ( a butterfly event), but I enjoyed it and later it helped me in my writing of reports in my higher education. It was memories of her encouragement back then that helped me consider venturing out in writing this blog.
I have added Dr. Bright’s website http://www.beyondpersonalmastery.com/Home.html to my favorites listing. Do check it out, because as we look at the concept of chaos it does relate well to how we live out our careers and other aspects of our life journey. Dr. Bright is so right in that we need to build in our lives and strengthen qualities such as Optimism, Openness, Self-Efficacy, Vision, Playfulness and Risk, Flexibility, and Persistence. These are things we need to work on developing in our inner selves so we can better handle the complexities and happenstance events that enter into our outer lives. These are some topics that I will touch on in coming months as I believe they are important in Living More Than OK.
In closing take a short quiet time to reflect over the career shifts that have occurred on your life journey. Can you think of any Butterfly effect moments where in your past a seemingly insignificant event or small interaction with another person later had a significant impact on your life?
I am not making light of these moments, as I have had my share of depressive moments in my journey; as my well paved plans buckled up and blocked my pathway. Thankfully I had my faith in God, good friends to seek advice from, and made the use of Professional Counselors at the deepest point of the struggle. In Living the More Than OK life we need to look at the realities of life that it is not a clearly marked yellow brick road, instead often it is a turning, twisting, bumpy, and pot-holed filled path. When a shift occurs through a serendipitous happening we need to work through any pain, ( with a help of a professional Counselor can help), and move on in a positive manner.
I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Jim Bright this past July, at the NCDA, (National Career Development Conference) in St. Louis, MO. He is one of the main thinkers behind the Chaos Theory of Careers. His presentation drove home a point that although our lives do have stable smooth flowing times, we need to be prepared for when the tumultuousness of complex unplanned events come into our lives. For each one of us these events vary in number and intensity. We need to have an openness to new ideas that come through pleasant chance events or unplanned times of adversity.
Reading of Chaos Theory reminds me of a student I had in one of my classes a few years ago who was a very good student and never missed class. Then mid semester he stopped coming. I tried contacting him to no avail until the end of the term I finally contacted him. It was too late to salvage his semester. He said a family event occurred that knocked him flat and could not keep going. I encouraged him to regroup and keep going in the future not to let the event stop him from the education he wanted. He did not plan during the semester for this difficulty to happen. It just happened and stopped him cold. . As I often tell students no one wakes up and says, “Boy, this is a great day for a flat tire!”
Dr. Bright was considerate enough to send me this YouTube video he created which looks at some of the issues in chaos theory. Click on the link and take a moment to view it.
Where Will You Be?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrpC0pZHUe4&feature=autoshare_twitter
Viewing the video made me think of the career shifts in my life from a library worker during High School, before college a shipping clerk in Ohio, then a janitor and library worker working my way through school in Chicago, customer service in publishing and other companies in the Chicago area, Real Estate in South Texas, and finally teaching and Counseling college students in South Texas. Some of the careers have been planned and some unplanned through necessity.
I also thought through the concept of the Butterfly effect thinking over small events that had a big effect in my latter time periods of my journey. Sometimes it was a discussion I had with someone that seemed insignificant at the time but as I look back in the grand scheme there was an effect on my life. One impetus in starting this blog was I always wanted to do some writing of my ideas. This I believe stems from my favorite teacher, Mrs. Verna Clifford, from 3rd grade who had us write little stories in her class. It was a little class assignment, ( a butterfly event), but I enjoyed it and later it helped me in my writing of reports in my higher education. It was memories of her encouragement back then that helped me consider venturing out in writing this blog.
I have added Dr. Bright’s website http://www.beyondpersonalmastery.com/Home.html to my favorites listing. Do check it out, because as we look at the concept of chaos it does relate well to how we live out our careers and other aspects of our life journey. Dr. Bright is so right in that we need to build in our lives and strengthen qualities such as Optimism, Openness, Self-Efficacy, Vision, Playfulness and Risk, Flexibility, and Persistence. These are things we need to work on developing in our inner selves so we can better handle the complexities and happenstance events that enter into our outer lives. These are some topics that I will touch on in coming months as I believe they are important in Living More Than OK.
In closing take a short quiet time to reflect over the career shifts that have occurred on your life journey. Can you think of any Butterfly effect moments where in your past a seemingly insignificant event or small interaction with another person later had a significant impact on your life?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Appreciating Each Moment
This week I am continuing to look at music and will again use a song to look at how we can use the songs we enjoy to help in our daily journeys. One helpful resource in looking at the power of music to help and to heal is The Tao of Music: Sound Psychology by John Ortiz. This book looks at how music can relate to a variety of life issues such as depression, self esteem, stress, grief, loss and anger. He presents songs from a wide variety of songs with differing music styles that relate to these various problems people face in life. He offers practical applications and exercises to see how music ca be used therapeutically to improve our lives. His book can help you appreciate the healing power of music.
Time is important and it is a topic that I will come back to, as our journey through this life, is based in the dimension of time. Today I want to look at another song that is one of my favorites, as an example the effect music and lyrics can have for our benefit. The song is Miracle of the Moment, by Steven Curtis Chapman. First look over the lyrics and then watch the You Tube video by clicking on the video link below.
Miracle of the Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman
It's time for letting go; All of our "if onlys"Cause we don't have a time machine
And even if we did; Would we really want to use it.
Would we really want to go change everything.
Cause we are who and where and what we are for now,
And this is the only moment we can do anything about.
So breathe it in and breathe it out; And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now, It's right there in front of you.
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment.
There's only One who knows, What's really out there waiting.
And all the moments yet to be, And all we need to know,
Is He's out there waiting, To Him the future's history.
And He has given us a treasure called right now.
And this is the only moment we can do anything about.
So breathe it in and breathe it out, And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now, It's right there in front of you.
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment.
And if it brings you tears, Then taste them as they fall.
Let them soften your heart.
And if it brings you laughter, Then throw your head back. And let it go,
Let it go, yeah, You gotta let it go.
And listen to your heartbeat.
And breathe it in and breathe it out, And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now, It's right there in front of you.
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment.
And breathe it in and breathe it out, And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now (here and now)
It's right there in front of you,
And I don't want you to miss the miracle. Of the moment.
Link to the Miracle of the Moment video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rResKXjKqjQ
This song speaks to an important part of Living More Than OK. Making the most of each moment, by appreciating each moment can have a dynamic effect in our lives. We can increase our happiness levels in life if we can appreciate each moment in our time line as a miracle. By buzzing around busily, we miss the wonder of the world around us. That is a key element I see Chapman is getting across to us in his song. Watch the video again and appreciate the wonder of nature in the pictures found in the video created to go along with the music. Truly awesome!
I know too many times I have missed the sunsets, and here in South Texas, we have some beautiful ones. I have passed by the flowers unknowingly of their beauty. I have missed the treasures of relating to the people around me -- to enjoy sharing their joys or helping with their hurts. Why? I am too caught up rushing on a train to nowhere or blindly floating on autopilot routinely doing tasks that have no lasting value. Do you ever find yourself this way? Be active in your present with awareness as our choices in the present have a great impact on our futures. As Chapman writes, “And this is the only moment we can do anything about”.
Make it a point to choose a day this week to go through the day more mindfully aware of the moments around you. At the end of the day take a short time to write down a reflection. Before you write relax a few minutes just breathing slowly in and out. Then write down the treasures and wonders that the God behind the moments brought into your life that day! Appreciate each moment!
Time is important and it is a topic that I will come back to, as our journey through this life, is based in the dimension of time. Today I want to look at another song that is one of my favorites, as an example the effect music and lyrics can have for our benefit. The song is Miracle of the Moment, by Steven Curtis Chapman. First look over the lyrics and then watch the You Tube video by clicking on the video link below.
Miracle of the Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman
It's time for letting go; All of our "if onlys"Cause we don't have a time machine
And even if we did; Would we really want to use it.
Would we really want to go change everything.
Cause we are who and where and what we are for now,
And this is the only moment we can do anything about.
So breathe it in and breathe it out; And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now, It's right there in front of you.
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment.
There's only One who knows, What's really out there waiting.
And all the moments yet to be, And all we need to know,
Is He's out there waiting, To Him the future's history.
And He has given us a treasure called right now.
And this is the only moment we can do anything about.
So breathe it in and breathe it out, And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now, It's right there in front of you.
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment.
And if it brings you tears, Then taste them as they fall.
Let them soften your heart.
And if it brings you laughter, Then throw your head back. And let it go,
Let it go, yeah, You gotta let it go.
And listen to your heartbeat.
And breathe it in and breathe it out, And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now, It's right there in front of you.
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment.
And breathe it in and breathe it out, And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now (here and now)
It's right there in front of you,
And I don't want you to miss the miracle. Of the moment.
Link to the Miracle of the Moment video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rResKXjKqjQ
This song speaks to an important part of Living More Than OK. Making the most of each moment, by appreciating each moment can have a dynamic effect in our lives. We can increase our happiness levels in life if we can appreciate each moment in our time line as a miracle. By buzzing around busily, we miss the wonder of the world around us. That is a key element I see Chapman is getting across to us in his song. Watch the video again and appreciate the wonder of nature in the pictures found in the video created to go along with the music. Truly awesome!
I know too many times I have missed the sunsets, and here in South Texas, we have some beautiful ones. I have passed by the flowers unknowingly of their beauty. I have missed the treasures of relating to the people around me -- to enjoy sharing their joys or helping with their hurts. Why? I am too caught up rushing on a train to nowhere or blindly floating on autopilot routinely doing tasks that have no lasting value. Do you ever find yourself this way? Be active in your present with awareness as our choices in the present have a great impact on our futures. As Chapman writes, “And this is the only moment we can do anything about”.
Make it a point to choose a day this week to go through the day more mindfully aware of the moments around you. At the end of the day take a short time to write down a reflection. Before you write relax a few minutes just breathing slowly in and out. Then write down the treasures and wonders that the God behind the moments brought into your life that day! Appreciate each moment!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Sound of Music Impacts Our Self-talk
Many will agree that Music has a powerful influence on people. As I am discussing impacts on our self-talk, I want to look at the subject of music. At a music concert whether a classical symphony or a rock concert, there is emotion and power that you can feel in the performance. The power of music can also be seen in the positive effectiveness of Music Therapy which has been used with many different people groups effectively.
Music has been an integral part of my life. When my mom moved my brothers and I, when I was in first grade, into her mother’s house there was a old upright piano in the back living room. Grandmother would regularly play old gospel hymns and old time songs from the 30’s and 40’s. My brother who is very musically talented was able to teach himself piano and memorized numerous classical pieces. I always considered myself too awkward to play the piano so I never attempted it. Musically I followed my older brother’s example of playing trumpet in band through high school. Then in High School I started to play the acoustic guitar, singing and playing in church. Through my personal experience I have seen the effect music can have for the good in inspiring fans during high school football games and emotionally moving hearts and minds in spiritual worship settings.
I believe music can be for the good or bad an influence in our mental programming. I will focus on the positive and there are positive songs of abundance in all genres of music. Classical music and jazz can be a positive influence in relaxing the mind and reducing stress. On of my favorite musicians for smooth jazz is Keiko Matsui, (http://keikomatsui.com ). Her music is often playing in my office as it is very soothing and relaxing for when I am working on reports and getting stressed compiling data.
With vocal music the lyrics can be a positive influence. For example a song I often use at the beginning of a new semester with students is Tracy Chapman’s New Beginning. Listen to this video of Tracy Chapman’s New Beginning video and reflect over her words:
New Beginning by Tracy Chapman
The whole world's broke and it ain't worth fixing It's time to start all over, make a new beginningThere's too much pain, too much suffering Let's resolve to start all over make a new beginningNow don't get me wrong - I love life and living But when you wake up and look around
at everything that's going down -All wrongYou see we need to change it now, this world with too few happy endingsWe can resolve to start all over make a new beginningStart all over Start all over Start all over Start all over
Music has been an integral part of my life. When my mom moved my brothers and I, when I was in first grade, into her mother’s house there was a old upright piano in the back living room. Grandmother would regularly play old gospel hymns and old time songs from the 30’s and 40’s. My brother who is very musically talented was able to teach himself piano and memorized numerous classical pieces. I always considered myself too awkward to play the piano so I never attempted it. Musically I followed my older brother’s example of playing trumpet in band through high school. Then in High School I started to play the acoustic guitar, singing and playing in church. Through my personal experience I have seen the effect music can have for the good in inspiring fans during high school football games and emotionally moving hearts and minds in spiritual worship settings.
I believe music can be for the good or bad an influence in our mental programming. I will focus on the positive and there are positive songs of abundance in all genres of music. Classical music and jazz can be a positive influence in relaxing the mind and reducing stress. On of my favorite musicians for smooth jazz is Keiko Matsui, (http://keikomatsui.com ). Her music is often playing in my office as it is very soothing and relaxing for when I am working on reports and getting stressed compiling data.
With vocal music the lyrics can be a positive influence. For example a song I often use at the beginning of a new semester with students is Tracy Chapman’s New Beginning. Listen to this video of Tracy Chapman’s New Beginning video and reflect over her words:
New Beginning by Tracy Chapman
The whole world's broke and it ain't worth fixing It's time to start all over, make a new beginningThere's too much pain, too much suffering Let's resolve to start all over make a new beginningNow don't get me wrong - I love life and living But when you wake up and look around
at everything that's going down -All wrongYou see we need to change it now, this world with too few happy endingsWe can resolve to start all over make a new beginningStart all over Start all over Start all over Start all over
The world is broken into fragments and pieces That once were joined together in a unified wholeBut now too many stand alone - There's too much separation We can resolve to come together in the new beginning
Start all over Start all over Start all over Start all over
We can break the cycle - We can break the chain We can start all over - In the new beginningWe can learn, we can teach We can share -- the myths the dream the prayerThe notion that we can do better Change our lives and paths Create a new world
Start all over Start all over Start all over Start all over
The whole world's broke and it ain't worth fixing It's time to start all over, make a new beginningThere's too much fighting, too little understanding It's time to stop and start all overMake a new beginning
Start all over Start all overStart all over Start all over
We need to make new symbols Make new signsMake a new language With these we'll define the worldAnd start all over Start all over Start all over Start all over ...
From a student standpoint I try to encourage the students to choose some new beginnings for their habits as they begin life at the University. Also Tracy Chapman’s lyrics fit well with the faulty beliefs some people cling to as noted by Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Ever hear people say ,”My world’s too broken, it’s no use trying anything new.” “ No one understands the pain or struggle I am in.” “Everything that happens to me is always wrong.” Those are some faulty self-talk statements the song speaks to. The encouragement is that we can break the cycles of our faulty programming. We can start over again. I like how she says “We can make new symbols, …Make a new language , with these we’ll define the world…” We need to encourage ourselves and others to make new symbols and new language statements for our success and living more than OK.
Think through the music you listen to, what are your favorite songs? Are you choosing music that builds you up. Google the lyrics of your favorite songs and see what the lyricist is saying and how it applies to your life.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Reading Impacts Your Self-talk Programming
Previously I brought up the issue of our self-talk. For the next few postings I want to look at a few factors that shape the programming of our self-talk. Being a Bookhead I want to look at reading first of all. Books, whether fiction or non-fiction, are expressions of ideas, concepts, facts, and stories. These ideas can have a positive impact on our mental attitude in our inner programming. Working with students I have seen the power of stories in getting ideas across to them.
Building a habit of reading is important in keeping the mind active and growing. Your reading can be a positive influence on your mental attitude. Beginning with reading topics of interest, helps in understanding and gaining new insights in your areas you enjoy. No matter how good we think we are in a certain area there is always room for improvement. When I do classroom assessments that have a rating scale 1-10 I remind students never give themselves a 10 as there is always room to grow during our journey in this life.
Reading about new topics may open new ideas to your life or challenge your viewpoints. By challenging our thinking we can think through and confirm on a deeper level what we believe and why we believe it. Read material from opposing points of view as that helps understand where others are coming from in their emotions and logic, (or lack of logic), on particular areas. Looking at life as a Christian, I have read Bertrand Russell, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, and Eric Maisel’s works promoting atheism. Reading their works has actually helps bolster my faith. Their arguments did not win me over and in certain cases their hatred for those who believe in a religious Worldview turned me off.
Magazines and newspapers are reading materials that offer news reporting and information on a wide variety of topics on a smaller scale than books. Reading these are a great way to keep informed on what is going on in the world. As with books if you have a personal area of interest, like flowers, traveling, cars, or cooking find a magazine related to your interest. If magazine subscriptions are too costly an idea is to put in your weekly schedule a time period to visit your local library and relax and read in their magazine room.
Once a student in my Student Success class mentioned to me that he did not like reading books but he researched a lot of his interests about computer networking and news information on the internet. He asked me if that was ok. We live in a computer and internet world. He had a deep passion for computers and I knew he devoured information off the internet. I mentioned to him and the class that there is a lot of bad on the internet but also a lot of good, (like my blog!). In thinking of our reading as part of our mental self-talk programming be questioning of any source be it paper or cyber based. Glean out the positives that will help you improve where you are going in your life journey.
I know electronic books are becoming more popular but I believe I will always be a hard copy book person. To me there is nothing like sitting at my desk turning the actual pages of a book as I read. Likewise, searching for books at a library or bookstore, being able to pull the book off a shelf and leaf through it, is much more satisfying than viewing a virtual image on a computer screen where you can only look at the two pages the publisher allows you to look at.
In thinking through how books and authors affect us, I appreciated a book in my library, More Than Words: Contemporary Writers on the Works That Shaped Them, by James Calvin Schaap. The editor compiled essays from 21 writers on the favorite authors that impacted their lives. The book helped me to think over the books that have shaped my life during periods of doubt and periods of growth in my thinking. I also in preparing this post looked through the internet searching for lists of influential books. I came across a number of interesting lists and websites. One website that may be of interest to fellow Bookheads, is Good Reads, http://www.goodreads.com/about/us. Goodreads is a social network of reading lovers sharing what they are reading and forming book groups. I am not a member but I fully believe in their mission: Goodreads' mission is to improve the process of reading and learning throughout the world.
I will close off with my list of ten favorite influential books in my personal life, (outside of the Bible which is a regular source of reading in my life):
1. Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis http://www.cslewis.org/
2. The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck, M.D. http://www.mscottpeck.com/
3. What’s So Amazing About Grace? Philip Yancey, http://www.philipyancey.com/
4. Who Are You Really And What Do You Really Want? Shad Helmstetter Ph. D.
http://www.shadhelmstetter.com/
5. Choice Theory, William Glasser http://www.wglasser.com/
6. Man’s Search For Meaning, Victor Frankl http://www.viktorfrankl.org/e/indexe.html
7. What Color is Your Parachute? Richard Bolles
http://www.jobhuntersbible.com/
8. The Success Journey, John Maxwell (now titled Your Roadmap For Success)
http://www.johnmaxwell.com/
9. Write is a Verb!, Bill O’Hanlon http://www.billohanlon.com/
10. Critical Thinking: Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life, Richard W. Paul and Linda Elder http://www.criticalthinking.org/
Think over the books you have read. Which are books that have been influential in your life? Have they positively helped in your positive mental programming? Take time to write down a list of your top five or top ten favorite books.
Building a habit of reading is important in keeping the mind active and growing. Your reading can be a positive influence on your mental attitude. Beginning with reading topics of interest, helps in understanding and gaining new insights in your areas you enjoy. No matter how good we think we are in a certain area there is always room for improvement. When I do classroom assessments that have a rating scale 1-10 I remind students never give themselves a 10 as there is always room to grow during our journey in this life.
Reading about new topics may open new ideas to your life or challenge your viewpoints. By challenging our thinking we can think through and confirm on a deeper level what we believe and why we believe it. Read material from opposing points of view as that helps understand where others are coming from in their emotions and logic, (or lack of logic), on particular areas. Looking at life as a Christian, I have read Bertrand Russell, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, and Eric Maisel’s works promoting atheism. Reading their works has actually helps bolster my faith. Their arguments did not win me over and in certain cases their hatred for those who believe in a religious Worldview turned me off.
Magazines and newspapers are reading materials that offer news reporting and information on a wide variety of topics on a smaller scale than books. Reading these are a great way to keep informed on what is going on in the world. As with books if you have a personal area of interest, like flowers, traveling, cars, or cooking find a magazine related to your interest. If magazine subscriptions are too costly an idea is to put in your weekly schedule a time period to visit your local library and relax and read in their magazine room.
Once a student in my Student Success class mentioned to me that he did not like reading books but he researched a lot of his interests about computer networking and news information on the internet. He asked me if that was ok. We live in a computer and internet world. He had a deep passion for computers and I knew he devoured information off the internet. I mentioned to him and the class that there is a lot of bad on the internet but also a lot of good, (like my blog!). In thinking of our reading as part of our mental self-talk programming be questioning of any source be it paper or cyber based. Glean out the positives that will help you improve where you are going in your life journey.
I know electronic books are becoming more popular but I believe I will always be a hard copy book person. To me there is nothing like sitting at my desk turning the actual pages of a book as I read. Likewise, searching for books at a library or bookstore, being able to pull the book off a shelf and leaf through it, is much more satisfying than viewing a virtual image on a computer screen where you can only look at the two pages the publisher allows you to look at.
In thinking through how books and authors affect us, I appreciated a book in my library, More Than Words: Contemporary Writers on the Works That Shaped Them, by James Calvin Schaap. The editor compiled essays from 21 writers on the favorite authors that impacted their lives. The book helped me to think over the books that have shaped my life during periods of doubt and periods of growth in my thinking. I also in preparing this post looked through the internet searching for lists of influential books. I came across a number of interesting lists and websites. One website that may be of interest to fellow Bookheads, is Good Reads, http://www.goodreads.com/about/us. Goodreads is a social network of reading lovers sharing what they are reading and forming book groups. I am not a member but I fully believe in their mission: Goodreads' mission is to improve the process of reading and learning throughout the world.
I will close off with my list of ten favorite influential books in my personal life, (outside of the Bible which is a regular source of reading in my life):
1. Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis http://www.cslewis.org/
2. The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck, M.D. http://www.mscottpeck.com/
3. What’s So Amazing About Grace? Philip Yancey, http://www.philipyancey.com/
4. Who Are You Really And What Do You Really Want? Shad Helmstetter Ph. D.
http://www.shadhelmstetter.com/
5. Choice Theory, William Glasser http://www.wglasser.com/
6. Man’s Search For Meaning, Victor Frankl http://www.viktorfrankl.org/e/indexe.html
7. What Color is Your Parachute? Richard Bolles
http://www.jobhuntersbible.com/
8. The Success Journey, John Maxwell (now titled Your Roadmap For Success)
http://www.johnmaxwell.com/
9. Write is a Verb!, Bill O’Hanlon http://www.billohanlon.com/
10. Critical Thinking: Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life, Richard W. Paul and Linda Elder http://www.criticalthinking.org/
Think over the books you have read. Which are books that have been influential in your life? Have they positively helped in your positive mental programming? Take time to write down a list of your top five or top ten favorite books.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Moving From Thinking to Action
Life is more than talk. When I speak to my Student Success course students, about the power of our self-talk, I tell them we have to move beyond our positive self-talk. Changing our negative thoughts to positive is helpful but with no working action nothing will be accomplished. We need to actively work out our positive thoughts for progress to occur in our dreams, or profitable changes we want for our lives. The book of Proverbs 14:23 tells us, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”
Let’s say for example, my self-talk is about getting in better physical shape. I may say things like, ”I am going to exercise to improve my health for my self and to be a better me for my family.” I even go so far as ordering a Leslie Sansone DVD to do walking at home. Then if all I do is sit in my recliner stuffing cupcakes in my face while I watch the DVD, is that going to help me get in better physical condition? No, I have to rise up from the chair and start walking, go outside for a jog, or join a health club if the recliner is too much of a temptation.
Another example I use with my students, many who struggle with Math, I suggest they can change their self-talk from, “I am no good at math-I just can’t do it.” to “I need to pass Algebra I to receive my degree, so even though I don’t love Math I will do whatever it takes to pass it.” What is the “doing whatever it takes”? The student needs to work on going to tutoring, place extra time in his schedule to increase the number of math problems he practices. For those students struggling with math I tell then when they start dreaming of numbers chasing them in their dreams they are probably doing the right number of math problems in their personal study time.
What I am getting at, is once your self-talk has been changed into a positive mode you need to jump into active work on what you want for yourself. Here is a helpful quote from Napoleon Hill: “Do not wait; the time will never be "just right'. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” When we need to make a change, it is easier to make excuses and stay stuck in the soft comfort of the recliner with remote in hand. Waiting for the right time to change will not work, as time will eventually pass us by and the positive changes for possibilities in our life will pass us by. I know from past experience in my life. I like how Napoleon Hill says to start with the tools you have at your disposal to get moving. Again move away from the excuses of waiting for the “right”-- time, people, circumstances, or God. I love the God excuse. Mind you, as a Christian, I do believe in seeking God’s guidance, but many times sitting around waiting to hear from God, is a cop-out to keep from moving into the tough work of action. Seriously, the move from positive thinking to the hard work of action is tough but necessary. As we take the first step with the tools we have available more helpful tools will come our way as we progress in our journey toward what we want.
Sometimes as we are working hard at accomplishing what we want, we begin to be tired and want to give up. A reality check reminds us that hard work is called hard work for a reason. It is hard and difficult at times. When you are ready to give up, think over these ten positive benefits to hard work in our lives. Use them as reminders why you need to keep pressing on, working for the changes in your life. They come from the book Life’s Greatest Lessons by Hal Urban:
1. Hard work helps us realize our potential.
2. Hard work helps us face up to life.
3. Hard work makes us feel good.
4. Hard work builds character.
5. Hard work earns the respect of others.
6. Hard work earns self-respect.
7. Hard work adds meaning.
8. Hard work gets the best results.
9. Hard work becomes a habit.
10. Hard work is healthy.
Begin working today on improving your Life More Than OK!
Let’s say for example, my self-talk is about getting in better physical shape. I may say things like, ”I am going to exercise to improve my health for my self and to be a better me for my family.” I even go so far as ordering a Leslie Sansone DVD to do walking at home. Then if all I do is sit in my recliner stuffing cupcakes in my face while I watch the DVD, is that going to help me get in better physical condition? No, I have to rise up from the chair and start walking, go outside for a jog, or join a health club if the recliner is too much of a temptation.
Another example I use with my students, many who struggle with Math, I suggest they can change their self-talk from, “I am no good at math-I just can’t do it.” to “I need to pass Algebra I to receive my degree, so even though I don’t love Math I will do whatever it takes to pass it.” What is the “doing whatever it takes”? The student needs to work on going to tutoring, place extra time in his schedule to increase the number of math problems he practices. For those students struggling with math I tell then when they start dreaming of numbers chasing them in their dreams they are probably doing the right number of math problems in their personal study time.
What I am getting at, is once your self-talk has been changed into a positive mode you need to jump into active work on what you want for yourself. Here is a helpful quote from Napoleon Hill: “Do not wait; the time will never be "just right'. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” When we need to make a change, it is easier to make excuses and stay stuck in the soft comfort of the recliner with remote in hand. Waiting for the right time to change will not work, as time will eventually pass us by and the positive changes for possibilities in our life will pass us by. I know from past experience in my life. I like how Napoleon Hill says to start with the tools you have at your disposal to get moving. Again move away from the excuses of waiting for the “right”-- time, people, circumstances, or God. I love the God excuse. Mind you, as a Christian, I do believe in seeking God’s guidance, but many times sitting around waiting to hear from God, is a cop-out to keep from moving into the tough work of action. Seriously, the move from positive thinking to the hard work of action is tough but necessary. As we take the first step with the tools we have available more helpful tools will come our way as we progress in our journey toward what we want.
Sometimes as we are working hard at accomplishing what we want, we begin to be tired and want to give up. A reality check reminds us that hard work is called hard work for a reason. It is hard and difficult at times. When you are ready to give up, think over these ten positive benefits to hard work in our lives. Use them as reminders why you need to keep pressing on, working for the changes in your life. They come from the book Life’s Greatest Lessons by Hal Urban:
1. Hard work helps us realize our potential.
2. Hard work helps us face up to life.
3. Hard work makes us feel good.
4. Hard work builds character.
5. Hard work earns the respect of others.
6. Hard work earns self-respect.
7. Hard work adds meaning.
8. Hard work gets the best results.
9. Hard work becomes a habit.
10. Hard work is healthy.
Begin working today on improving your Life More Than OK!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Program Your Self -Talk in a Positive Direction
If you did the exercise in the last posting about comparing your negative vs. positive thoughts and came up with more negatives, don’t start feeling too bad. Dr. Shad Helmstetter in his book, Who Are You Really and What Do You Want? states there is some research that shows for some people up to 70% of their thinking is negative. That is a big chunk of negativity. What can we do to change the percentages in a positive direction?
One key area where we can improve our thinking in a more positive way is what we say to ourselves – our self talk. Yes it is ok to talk to yourself. We do it all the time. You probably don’t want to walk through the shopping mall holding a long dialogue with yourself. You will get a lot of strange looks but seriously, it is important to consider the things we say to ourselves.
I remember years ago in a College basic computer programming class learning the acronym, GIGO, Garbage In Garbage Out. If your computer program is filled with errors, your output on the program will be filled with errors. The professor mentioned that in his opinion the greatest computer ever designed was the human brain designed by God. He exhorted the class to apply the GIGO principle to our lives and thinking. If you allow garbage in to your minds the output into your life will be garbage.
Years after this while I was studying on my first Masters degree in Divinity/Counseling at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, IL my advisor encouraged me to read the Dr. Helmstetter book, What To Say When You Talk To Yourself. This, along with my appreciation for Cognitive Behavioral theories in my Psychology courses caused me to be awestruck by the power of our thinking in our individual lives.
Self-talk is the internal scripts we say to ourselves in our minds- “Boy, I’m sure having a rotten day!”, “How could I be so stupid”, “I should be able to do this better”, “ I will never be able to remember things!”, “ My mom said I would always be a failure. I guess she was right.” “I just can’t be creative!”. The scripts are programming statements that we consciously and unconsciously repeat over and over to ourselves. These statements program our personal internal computer, (our brain). When the programming is full of shoulds, coulds, can’ts and regrets we are programming major negativity which will produce negativity in our lives.
When I first read What To Say When You Talk To Yourself , I reflected over all the “I can’t” statements that had limited my past from my teen years and negatively affected the present at the time. I was astounded at the negativity and limitations I had placed on myself, almost unknowingly. I would like to say that that realization changed my life to success over night. Mental habits are slow in changing. Even up to this day. Before starting this blog for months I remember arguing with myself, “Why bother writing a blog you have nothing to say. You can’t do it. Who will read it anyways? It won’t help anyone” I finally reprogrammed my self talk with “I have always wanted to work on improving my writing. Doing a blog may be productive writing practice. Even if I only get a few readers, if I can encourage them to live a more than ok existence it will be worth it.”
In the previous paragraph I give an example of the primary way Dr. Helmstetter promotes to change the thinking programs in our minds. Set aside 30 minutes of quiet alone time to think over your self-talk statements you say to yourself on a routine basis. Jot down on a paper the things you say to yourself –
Examples –“Why me?”; “I never say the right thing”; “my room is always messy – I guess I am just a messy person”; “nobody likes me”; “I just can’t lose weight”. Look over the statements. Are they things I really want to be true about myself? Can I have pride in saying these things? Are they helping me be a better person? Then finally think over what you should be saying instead and write the new programming statements out. Here are some examples --change the “ I can’t” to “I can”; “I am having a rotten day nothing is going right” to “My day is starting off rough but I am not going to let it beat me. Look out world here I come!”; “My dad said I would always be a dummy in math” to “Maybe I am not a numbers guy but I need Algebra to get my degree so I will use the campus tutoring and do extra practice to make sure I pass.”
You get the idea. Look at the negative statements you are telling yourself and create a positive new program. Then when you catch yourself saying the negative statement hit the delete button in your mind to erase it and then paste in the more positive statement. Try the 30 minute exercise mentioned in the preceding paragraph and try building some new positive programs for yourself. Let your thoughts move your life in a positive direction!
One key area where we can improve our thinking in a more positive way is what we say to ourselves – our self talk. Yes it is ok to talk to yourself. We do it all the time. You probably don’t want to walk through the shopping mall holding a long dialogue with yourself. You will get a lot of strange looks but seriously, it is important to consider the things we say to ourselves.
I remember years ago in a College basic computer programming class learning the acronym, GIGO, Garbage In Garbage Out. If your computer program is filled with errors, your output on the program will be filled with errors. The professor mentioned that in his opinion the greatest computer ever designed was the human brain designed by God. He exhorted the class to apply the GIGO principle to our lives and thinking. If you allow garbage in to your minds the output into your life will be garbage.
Years after this while I was studying on my first Masters degree in Divinity/Counseling at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, IL my advisor encouraged me to read the Dr. Helmstetter book, What To Say When You Talk To Yourself. This, along with my appreciation for Cognitive Behavioral theories in my Psychology courses caused me to be awestruck by the power of our thinking in our individual lives.
Self-talk is the internal scripts we say to ourselves in our minds- “Boy, I’m sure having a rotten day!”, “How could I be so stupid”, “I should be able to do this better”, “ I will never be able to remember things!”, “ My mom said I would always be a failure. I guess she was right.” “I just can’t be creative!”. The scripts are programming statements that we consciously and unconsciously repeat over and over to ourselves. These statements program our personal internal computer, (our brain). When the programming is full of shoulds, coulds, can’ts and regrets we are programming major negativity which will produce negativity in our lives.
When I first read What To Say When You Talk To Yourself , I reflected over all the “I can’t” statements that had limited my past from my teen years and negatively affected the present at the time. I was astounded at the negativity and limitations I had placed on myself, almost unknowingly. I would like to say that that realization changed my life to success over night. Mental habits are slow in changing. Even up to this day. Before starting this blog for months I remember arguing with myself, “Why bother writing a blog you have nothing to say. You can’t do it. Who will read it anyways? It won’t help anyone” I finally reprogrammed my self talk with “I have always wanted to work on improving my writing. Doing a blog may be productive writing practice. Even if I only get a few readers, if I can encourage them to live a more than ok existence it will be worth it.”
In the previous paragraph I give an example of the primary way Dr. Helmstetter promotes to change the thinking programs in our minds. Set aside 30 minutes of quiet alone time to think over your self-talk statements you say to yourself on a routine basis. Jot down on a paper the things you say to yourself –
Examples –“Why me?”; “I never say the right thing”; “my room is always messy – I guess I am just a messy person”; “nobody likes me”; “I just can’t lose weight”. Look over the statements. Are they things I really want to be true about myself? Can I have pride in saying these things? Are they helping me be a better person? Then finally think over what you should be saying instead and write the new programming statements out. Here are some examples --change the “ I can’t” to “I can”; “I am having a rotten day nothing is going right” to “My day is starting off rough but I am not going to let it beat me. Look out world here I come!”; “My dad said I would always be a dummy in math” to “Maybe I am not a numbers guy but I need Algebra to get my degree so I will use the campus tutoring and do extra practice to make sure I pass.”
You get the idea. Look at the negative statements you are telling yourself and create a positive new program. Then when you catch yourself saying the negative statement hit the delete button in your mind to erase it and then paste in the more positive statement. Try the 30 minute exercise mentioned in the preceding paragraph and try building some new positive programs for yourself. Let your thoughts move your life in a positive direction!
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