Are You Thankful To Be Alive?

A reader of my book, Living More Than OK, (purchase at Barnes & Noble by clicking on title) complimented me on my book as it was helping him grow in his life. Although he said there was a song I should have added into the text. I made use of many songs in the book to make people think of the song’s messages but he had an addition. I asked him what song was that and he said “Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez”. He said it was a positive song from back in the days of disco. So at first chance I looked it up on Youtube and remembered it from the late 1970’s.

Patrick Hernandez is a French singer whose family roots are Spanish. He was more popular in Europe but his big hit, Born To Be Alive, gained gold status in the US and was on the Billboard charts for disco songs when it came out in 1979.

As I listened to the song and looked over the lyrics there is not a lot of depth to the lyrics but take a listen to it and see what you think.

Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez (click on the title hear to hear the song)

We were born to be alive
We were born to be alive
Born, born to be alive
(Won't you be alive)
You see you were born
Born, born
(Born to be alive)

People ask me why
I never find a place to stop
And settle down, down, down
But I never wanted all those things
People need to justify
Their lives, lives, lives

You see you were
Born, born, born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
You see you were
Born, born, born
(Born to be alive)
It's good to be alive
To be alive
To be alive
It's good to be alive
To be alive
To be alive
It's good to be alive

Time was on my side
When I was running down the street
It was so fine, fine, fine
A suitcase and an old guitar
And something new to occupy
My mind, mind, mind

You see you were born, born
Born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
You see you were born, born, born
(Born to be alive)
You see you were born, born, born
(Born to be alive)
Born, born to be alive

What I like about the song is the catchy tune is full of positive energy. I usually like deep lyrics I can think through but in this case the overall message makes me think about how we should look at life. We were not placed on this earth to just exist. Many times when I people-watch crowds too many people walk around like lifeless zombies. The song writer has it right that we were born to be alive!

I am thankful the reader of my book brought this song up to me, especially at this time. The message makes me think -- How am I occupying my mind this Christmas season? Do I dread the stress of the holidays, worn out as another year ends? Or am I thankful that “It’s good to be alive!” as the song says? How would each day be different if we would wake up and dance through the day realizing we were born to be alive and to understand in our mind that is a good thing!

I found it amazing that after listening to the song the gentleman pointed out to me; later that day on Facebook I saw a post from Success Magazine about 126 Ways To be Extraordinary (www.success.com/article/126-ways-to-be-extraordinary.) With the song on my mind I read the article. I felt the ways to be extraordinary can be a help in living a more alive life. Here are 10 ways from the list that stood out to me (you can explore the article and find 10 that are important to you):

2. Say, “Thank you.”
3. Learn from your mistakes.
17. Plan to be successful.
21. Fight mediocrity.
51. Stay mentally strong.
70. Read a new biography.
91. Let someone else get the attention.
108. Have a big vision for those around you.
117. Write a kind note.
125. Remember the good times.

I was never big into disco back in the 1970’s as I was more of a classic rock person as in Kansas and Yes. But I am glad this reader of my book shared with me the disco song, Born To Be Alive. Is there a song you enjoy that has a positive message to it. Please leave a comment and let me know.

Reflection: How can you be more alive this Holiday Season? Look at the article 126 Ways To be Extraordinary at the link above and choose your personal list of top 10 ways to be extraordinary in your life.

Gardening Part of Living More Than OK

I have recovered and caught up some since my comprehensive exams for my Ph.D., so I thought I would move back to writing in my blog. I realize with life one never fully gets caught up so I decided to keep moving forward. One of the activities I have been doing recently during my recouping phase is helping prepare our Spring/Summer garden here in Texas. The garden is something my wife enjoys so my daughter and I help her with the preparation and harvesting.
Growing up in Ohio my mother and father planted a large vegetable garden. My dad would grow sweet potatoes almost as big as a football. When he died my mom moved us in with our grandmother and she even had more land for gardening and that garden provided much of the yearly food supply. So our present home gardening of the past few years brings back fond memories of growing up helping my mom in the garden.

For the most part these past few years while I have been working on my doctorate, my college teaching, and counseling; the garden has been run mostly by my wife. I am just starting my dissertation so after that is finished I will be more involved in the gardening. Preparing the garden in tilling the soil, planting and pruning our fruit trees has been a helpful relaxing diversion while I have been recovering from the stress of the exam I went through.

Gardening also provides times for families to work together. The above picture shows the garden pathway my daughter and wife laid out the other day. It was hard work for them but after their work they enjoyed a steak dinner of which I was not a part of since I was working on reports the whole day. The picture also gives an idea of the garden we tilled and planted a couple of weeks ago. We have a variety of tomatoes, peppers, squash, okra, cucumbers, Swiss Chard, collard greens, Mumbai spinach as well as herbs and other vegetables. We all worked together to get the garden going then pray for success as we never know what Texas weather will bring.

The work that goes into gardening provides an appreciation of farmers in our country and around the world that provide us with food. Our home garden has helped with the food bill but we are definitely not self-sufficient. The battle with weeds and watching over the need for watering is work. It is hard to imagine the level of work that goes on the grand scale of large family farms that provide the world’s food supply.

Outside of the hard work there is amazement and wonder in watching the plants grow. Some of our plants were from seeds. The wonder is in seeing the green shoots breaking up through the ground and before we know it the plant is blooming with flowers that become the vegetables. The development is an amazing wonder of creation. How did the various plants develop? Why are there so many varieties instead of just a few plants that we would be stuck eating? Kind of makes one wonder who or what is behind such amazing wonders doesn’t it?

Whether it is just a few herbs and tomatoes on a patio or a small raised garden give Spring planting a try. If you are benefited with a larger piece of land use some of that land for a garden. It will save you dollars at the grocer and teach your family the hard work that goes into growing produce. As you watch the development of the plants, you may also be caught up in the wonder of watching creation in an amazing way. Then of course the best part is harvesting the fruits and vegetables and using them in your salads and cooking at home.

Reflection: How thankful are you for the farmers who provide the bountiful supply of food you enjoy at your local market and grocer? Try this Spring to either just do a few plants if you are in an apartment or try a small raised garden in your yard. Reflect on the amazing variety in the vegetables, fruits and flowers. Why do you think there is such variety? Does it amaze you?

What is Thanksgiving About? Thankfulness, Relationships, or Shopping?

I recently heard on the news that a number of retailers were opening on Thanksgiving Day this year. It saddened me as I thought “can’t people take one day out of the year and enjoy family friends, relax and be thankful instead of bowing down to the almighty dollar?” I thought it bad enough over the years as right after Halloween Christmas displays go up to start making money out of Christmas as if that is the meaning of Christmas! This year there were Christmas items, one aisle over from the Halloween decorations. Now the marketers for retailers are saying no to Thanksgiving and trying to turn it into another shopping day!

Thankfully there are some retailers that are keeping their doors closed so there employees can have a united day off to be with family and friends. Some of them are: Nordstrom, Dillard's, Home Depot, Costco, BJs, T.J. Maxx, Marshalls and Ross stores. They are showing a priority of allowing their employees to enjoy a day of relaxing and building relationships with the important people in their lives. What are the names of those stores that are opening? I don’t want to waste my breath on them.
This should make us think in our hearts and minds of what is Thanksgiving all about? For years Thanksgiving has been one day that most everyone could take a day off to gather with family and/or friends to enjoy a day together. As you know with my belief system there is a strong spiritual element to the day for me. Not that I believe that a person has to be spiritually minded to be thankful. Gratefulness research shows that an attitude of gratitude can be found in all people and all belief systems.

This year I would like to share some thoughts from Dr. Robert A, Emmons. He is a professor at the University of California at Davis. His research in positive psychology has been focused in on thankfulness and gratitude. I had been wanting to read his book Thanks: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier and finally this past Summer had the opportunity to read it.

One section of the book I want you to reflect on is his discussion of how spiritual thankfulness often comes out of suffering trials, and loss in the life of followers of God. He uses the pilgrims as an example. “We need look no further for exemplars of grateful living in the midst of trials than the lives of the Pilgrims. More than half of those courageous souls who crossed the Atlantic died after one year in their new home. All but three families had dug graves in the rocky soil of New England to bury a husband, wife, or child. But they knew about ancient Israel’s harvest festival: how Israel, at the end of a successful harvest, thanked God for the bounty of creation – also for delivering them from their captivity, giving them freedom as a people. And so they did the same. They understood their God to be a God who is to be thanked and praised when times are good and when times are tough. Their gratitude was not a selective , positive thinking façade, but rather a deep and steadfast trust that goodness dwells even in the face of uncertainty. Their thanksgiving was grounded in the actuality that true gratitude is a force that arises from the realities of the world, which all too often include heartbreak, sometimes overpowering heartbreak.” (Emmons. pages 116-117). It is easy to be thankful in the good times but what about the hard times? Learning gratitude during difficulties, aides in a better overall attitude rather than a bitter attitude. We live more abundantly when we live with thankfulness in all areas of our lives. That is one thing we can learn from the pilgrims as we go into our Thanksgiving Day experience.

What will happen on Thanksgiving with the stores that are opening? I would hope that people across the land will keep the priority of family, friends, thankfulness, and I cannot forget those who will be watching football; with the result, that those stores will remain empty of shoppers until the traditional midnight madness sale time. Yet knowing the Pavlovian nature of the words,”store open” to the American public, I am not holding my breath. It will be sad to watch hordes fillings the stores on Thanksgiving.

Reflection: On Thanksgiving enjoy your time with family and friends. Be thankful. If someone says to you “Let’s go shopping. I heard this store is open on Thanksgiving!” Kindly remind the person what Thanksgiving is all about.

Tapping Into Practical Spirituality In The Job Search

Recently I have been reading a number of career books to improve my thoughts on Career Counseling. One book I have working through is The Job Search Solution by Tony Beshara. He is the President and owner of Babich and Associates which is the oldest job placement firm in Texas. One thing that drew me to the book is that he obviously has a passion for helping people through the difficulties of the job search.

The best sections of the book for me were the interviewing process which is a scary process for many people. It is often a topic that is not discussed well in career books. Still there was a chapter that caught me off guard as I was not expecting the topic in a book about job searching. I was pleasantly surprised to see a chapter entitled, “The Benefits of Practical Spirituality”. What does spirituality have to do with looking for a job? Isn't that side of life just for religious types on the weekend? I could simply say “Buy the book and find out”, but that is not what this blog is about. Even though I encourage you if you work with career issues a lot this book will be a help to you in helping clients.
I will share some of the ideas he discusses in the chapter with you. What I like is that they are practical ideas so that even if someone is agnostic and the idea of humans having a spiritual side is nauseating they can still honestly see themselves incorporating these ideas. Also I believe the ideas can be helpful simply in our daily work lives.

The first idea he mentions is Be Grateful. I have written in the past on the importance of having a thankful spirit in our life journey. There is a wealth of research showing the importance of being grateful. Carrying an attitude of gratitude as the poplar phase goes, builds up a positive outlook to the our daily journey. I know from having been on job hunts myself that it is easy to get down negatively on life. When working to help those in the middle of a job search, I know being grateful after another job hunt dead-end is difficult. Those who do try writing down a few things they are grateful for each day, though find that an attitude shift occurs that helps the day to day job search process more manageable. This spirit of thankfulness helps in the daily grind of work as well.

Practicing Forgiveness is something the author mentions that again someone may think has nothing to do about the job search. Although if you think about it, an unforgiving attitude exudes bitterness about the gripe or complaint the person is often holding onto. Many times in the job search process maybe the issue that needs forgiveness was things that happened at a former place of employment. Maybe there needs to be forgiveness of themselves for making a bad choice in quitting a job too early or taking a job they knew they weren't qualified for. In today’s job world of layoffs possibly it is hard feelings about being downsized. Forgiveness can lighten the heavy spirit of bitterness that weighs on a person’s emotions. It is best to be rid of the bitterness as it can be a body language hindrance in an interview setting. Or even in a new job if the person has not let go of the past issues it can hamper work effectiveness.

Another idea that he mentions that meant much to me is looking at the power of prayer. He makes a point of saying not to pray for a specific job but to pray for wisdom and guidance in the job search process. I see this thought as praying for opportunities to open and then wisdom to know which opportunity to focus in on. Of course this idea is not attractive to those who disbelieve in the power of prayer. For those people he encourages them to look at this idea as creating a list of what he calls positive intentions that you desire to pass on to other people . This can relate I believe to visualization. Take some quiet time to visualize in your mind new opportunities and ways to help others and often you will become more aware of opportunities in your daily life. I strongly believe prayer is important is our daily work life as well, to live out the best intentions in our work and with our co-workers.

The idea of positive intentions towards others relates well with another idea he relates which is volunteering. Of course a job search should be considered a full time job until a person finds work. But finding some time to volunteer is a positive experience to help others. Of course it can be a productive networking experience as well for those on a job search. For those who are working, volunteering is an extra way to give back to your community in your local church, synagogue or community service group. It provides a positive example to your children and enriches your life as you are giving to others often less fortunate than you are.
Tony Beshara’s chapter on Practical Spirituality in the job search process has a number of other ideas. I just wanted to touch on a few here that stood out to me. Hopefully if these wet your mental appetite you will look for his book at your local library or bookstore near you.

Reflection: How does Gratefulness, Forgiveness, Prayer, and Volunteering relate to your career life? Write your thoughts down in your journal.

Thankfulness for Mothers on Mother’s Day

Thankfulness enriches our lives by aiding in our positive mental health. Research reveals that people who our thankful have a happier outlook on life. They are more positive in their being. To have a thankful spirit we need to have an attitude of gratitude in our mindset as we look and savor life. One way to help in this mindset is taking time to be thankful on special holidays other than just Thanksgiving Day. As I write this I am thinking over Mother’s Day tomorrow.

I think back to my mother who passed away over 15 years ago now. Remembering memories of her on Mother’s Day does not make me sad but instead thankful for whom she was. She was a devout Christian with a strong faith that she passed on to me. It was a faith that gave her hope while living through the Great Depression, working in a Rubber factory during WWII, having a husband who died much too early leaving her a widow with three boys. Still she never complained as she had a faith that God would take care of things. She was faithful to her church. At her going home celebration after she died one minister mentioned she was one of his most faithful parishioners. She wanted the best for her sons so encouraged education. My being a bookhead today is because she emphasized membership at the local library. She was always supportive of our educational journeys. As I savor memories of her life there is much to be thankful for.

On this Mother’s Day I think of my wife’s faithful love and care for our daughter. Since our daughter came into our life, Susie has had a heart filled concern that Alejandra would have a bright future. Much of her growth into a young lady with her healthcare career in mind has been the fruit of my wife’s motherly wisdom and encouraging her to take time to shadow workers at the hospital where Susie works. My wife’s strong faith in God also is a reminder to me the importance of God in my life journey.

Below I have a poem by Helen Steiner Rice that makes us consider the depth of a Mother’s love. It is a love that is sacrificial, and unselfish. It is a love that unconditionally is devoted to the objects of her love her children. Rice makes a point at the end that a Mother’s love is a manifestation of God’s hand in the lives of her children. It is a love that reminds all of us to be thankful for the mothers in our lives and to be thankful for the positive impact of Mothers in the lives of their families.

A Mother’s Love by Helen Steiner Rice

A Mother's love is something
that no one can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand

Reflection: What does Helen Steiner Rice’s poem say to you? Think about your mother and write down 5 things you are thankful for concerning her.

Viewing Creation With A Thankful Spirit

This past weekend my wife, daughter and I enjoyed a visit to the San Antonio Botanical Garden . Above this article you will see a few of the pictures from our visit. As usual we all had our cameras with us. We left early as the Texas heat is already making its presence felt. With the grounds map in hand we leisurely strolled through the garden.

Being in an environment where creation in all it’s beauty is pointing to the Creator behind it all is personally inspiring. It inspired a thankful spirit. You can enjoy a picture or painting of creation but seeing it live is always more moving of an experience. In art museums I tend to spend more time savoring nature works of art but they don’t come close to seeing what the Master Artist/Creator does in nature. There was such a variety to see and experience, from the rose garden, the Piney Woods area with a pond, the Hill Country wild flower area, and the Japanese garden.
My wife had some questions answered by the grounds keepers. The workers were very polite and were knowledgeable about the plants they tended. The one man we spoke with truly enjoyed his work at the Garden. My favorite area was the Japanese garden. They had gorgeous Japanese red maples and the shrubbery was neatly trimmed. In the Japanese garden area we took a rest from our walking. It was a quiet spot to simply, silently rest and mindfully soak in the colors around us.

Back to the thankful spirit that being in such a place brings to mind. As I savored our time there I first of all was thankful to the Creator God who has given us such beauty and variety in nature. What is there were no flowers and just one type of grass and only two types of trees everywhere on the earth? Can anyone say boring? As we went through the SA Botanical Garden in trees alone there was a vast variety. Then add the variety in bushes, flowers and rock formations. I was thankful for that.

Then being with family for an experience such as this reminds me to be thankful for my wife and daughter as I watched them enjoying the nature around them as well. I was thankful for a visitor from out of state who we talked to in the Japanese garden. Earlier she had overheard my wife wondering the name of a plant. Since we were sitting in the same area she took the time to share that it was an agave plant. I was also thankful for the dedicated workers who tended to the garden to keep it in such delightful condition.

I could have just rushed through the garden just to say I had been there, but by mindfully taking our time I fully enjoyed the total experience. From the most delicate flowers in the green house; to the cactus garden; to watching the turtles sunning themselves on a log in the pond, there was so much to be thankful for. When you go to a park, garden, zoo, or aquarium go into the experience with a sense of a thankful spirit and you will discover a deep restful enjoyment.

Reflection: Take a morning or afternoon to visit a local park or botanical garden. Go into the time with a spirit of finding things to be thankful for. Later, journal how you felt during the time and how you felt afterwards. Did it increase your happiness level?

Thanksgiving and Happiness

Yesterday was my favorite Holiday, Thanksgiving. For many it is the forgotten holiday as stores and restaurants usually go from Halloween decorations right into Christmas decorations. Most likely in our commercial driven country it is because they make more money off those holidays. For many the meaning of Thanksgiving is lost in all the food and football. Thankfully we as a family enjoyed a day enjoying the meal with dear friends, so it was a relaxing day of enjoying the meal we cooked and sharing conversation.

I always try to find some time during the day to reflect over things I am thankful for: My God and Faith, My Wife and Family, a job I enjoy helping college students, friends, my abilities in counseling, writing, and music, having a love of learning to keep my mind growing, Thankful for being able to live a more than OK life. Thankful for the flowers outside of my window as I write this blog. I am thankful to live in an era of the internet where I can share my ideas. I am thankful for anyone who takes the time to read what I write.

If we think honestly each one of us, even with all the troubles that come our way have much to be thankful for. I believe it is important to keep Thanksgiving day as a Holiday as it is a reminder to be alive is to be thankful. We need to rise above the humdrum of live and the troubles an notice there are good things active in our lives. The day should remind us the being thankful isn’t just for that day but for every day of our lives.

Here is a Psalm of Thanksgiving from the Bible to reflect over. It was used as a musical song of thanksgiving.

Psalm 92 (King James Version) 1IT IS A GOOD THING TO GIVE THANKS UNTO THE LORD, AND TO SING PRAISES UNTO THY NAME, O MOST HIGH:
2To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night,
3Upon an instrument of ten strings, and upon the psaltery; upon the harp with a solemn sound.
4For thou, LORD, hast made me glad through thy work: I will triumph in the works of thy hands.
5O LORD, how great are thy works! and thy thoughts are very deep.
6A brutish man knoweth not; neither doth a fool understand this.
7When the wicked spring as the grass, and when all the workers of iniquity do flourish; it is that they shall be destroyed for ever:
8But thou, LORD, art most high for evermore.
9For, lo, thine enemies, O LORD, for, lo, thine enemies shall perish; all the workers of iniquity shall be scattered.
10But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.
11Mine eye also shall see my desire on mine enemies, and mine ears shall hear my desire of the wicked that rise up against me.
12The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree: he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
13Those that be planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God.
14They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;
15To shew that the LORD is upright: he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.

The Psalmist reveals in verse 4 that being thankful produces gladness and happiness in our spirit. That is a positive result of being thankful. So if you want more happiness in your life cultivate an attitude of thankfulness.

As a Christian my thankfulness list placed God and my faith first. For each of us depending on our belief system the thankful list varies. For me in my experience the Most High God of my Faith has continually provided love and faithfulness to me. I have seen Him work in the past so I know I can trust for God’s further work in my future. In verses 12-14 the King James version uses the word “flourishing” three times. Those who are thankful in union with God will have flourishing lives. That doesn’t mean riches necessarily but rather a richness and positive growth in our inner being that provides richness in enjoying and experience what I call the More Than OK life.

Each day take a few minutes to be thankful and see how it improves your daily journey in living a More Than OK Life!

Reflection:
What does Thanksgiving Day mean to you? Write down a list of things you are thankful for in your life.

Gratitude in the Workplace

Work and thoughts of thanksgiving often do not go together. Work and complaining is usually the common duo. I have done my share of complaining about work. It usually leaves me more depressed and agitated. As I have been learning more about the importance of gratitude and the importance of a thankful spirit, in the Positive Psychology course I am taking, it has challenged my thoughts on workplace attitudes.

Does all the complaining about work ever help? Usually it spirals into deeper negativity and turns our work into drudgery and exacerbates the difficulties and levels of boredom in our work. I have read and tried the calculation out with a calculator; that we work about 85,000 hours in our lifetime from age 21-65. The big question is how do we want to spend that amount of time? Do we want to spend it in a negative manner of boredom and long-term complaining? Or do we want a work life with a sense of fulfillment and positive feelings of enjoying our work settings? There are several topics that relate to this such as finding our calling, using flow in the workplace, and utilizing our personal strengths in our work. These will be discussed on a later date. With Thanksgiving this week I thought I would focus on using Gratitude in the workplace.

You would think in our present economic circumstances of over 10% unemployment and most likely 17% real unemployment in the country just having a job would be a cause for thanksgiving. That doesn’t seem to be enough to halt the complaining about work.

First let’s look at what causes the negativity to set in. Each job has its routines. As we begin a new job we are in learning mode and everything seems fresh and new. The learning is a challenge. Then as we get into the groove we start doing everything the same way. The client interaction and paperwork starts moving in a circular cycle and becomes routine. If we focus on the routine then boredom begins to set in. The boredom can then create a sense of restlessness about our work. Negativity begins to be the lens through which we start to look at our work. Day in and day out the negativity can spiral into complaining about the boredom.
A loss of purpose also occurs when letting negativity about our work take over. When we start a new job there is a sense of learning how our work fits into the whole of the company, whether it is a shipping clerk sending finished orders to clients; a customer service representative helping a customer with a problem; or a career counselor helping a college students open their eyes to a major possibility that connects with a personality strength. Becoming more competent in our work then helps increase our purposefulness in serving our customers. If we lose focus on our work purpose and begin to focus on the negatives such as letting ourselves become overcome with boredom or petty comparisons of how other workers are doing their jobs in a complaining manner; what started out as an enjoyable dream job can turn into a hellish nightmare.

What can be done to turn the negativity around? I will discuss a couple of ideas for you to try out. These are ideas I have stumbled upon that have helped me and I am just passing them on. First of all write down a list of 5 workplace duties that are routine to you. These may be reports that you have to do; regular assessments that you perform; or certain work activities you do in a regular manner. It is often these routines that start us complaining. “Oh no, I have to do that again!” That complaining then compounds into other complaints. So find some time to brainstorm new ways of doing your routine activities. If you work with a teammate, brainstorm with them to increase the creativity. Even a small change may be enough to add a positive lift to your work setting. As a Career Counselor I can get into a routine of doing our career assessment with students and the temptation could be to just test and tell the student quickly what to major in to just get the session over with and back to my desk. To fight that I make a commitment to see each student as unique and remembering the importance to opening their eyes to the possibilities in their futures.

Another idea is to make a list at the beginning of the workweek of 5 things you are thankful about concerning your work. One may be as simple as just being grateful to have a job in bad economic times. By building up a list you are thankful for about your work, will be a natural positive arsenal against the negativity of complaining. In regularly building up a list of gratefulness about your work it may also help when you are tempted by co-workers to jump into gripe sessions which just add to workplace negativity.

Then finally renew your passion to be the best in moving towards excellence in your work. Boredom can not overtake you if you are constantly challenging yourself to be your best. If you are trying to promote excellence in the workplace a positive attitude will follow and help diminish negativity in the workplace. Try these ideas out each Monday in your work to try to beat the Monday work blues.

Being Thankful Each Day

My wife and I noticed while shopping in mid-October there were Halloween decorations in one section of the store and Christmas decorations in another. Most stores are the same way. Thanksgiving is squeezed out we felt by commercialization. We spoke to each other how Thanksgiving is too often forgotten as a holiday and in our practice of daily living.

I would like to continue the thoughts from the previous post on gratefulness, by reflecting on a song about thankfulness. It is a song called Thank You For Today on Phil Keaggy’s Dream Again CD. Read over the lyrics here and then click on the You tube link below hear Phil sing the song:

Thank You For Today
Thank You for today. I am Grateful, for today is all I have.
The past is much too heavy for me to carry
If I hold on to it for too long, You know it will crush me.
The future’s far too fragile for me to worry
If I hold on to it for too long, You know it will rush me.
Right now is where you live, Right now is where I want to live.
Thank You for today. I am Grateful, for today is all I have.
In the past I am a fool, I play the fool, if I stay in that place for too long.
Dreams surrender to regret.
In the future I’m a clown, a selfish clown
If I stay in that place for too long, to love another I neglect
Right now there is no temptation Right now there is only faith.
Thank You for today. I am Grateful, for today is all I have.
Right now is where you live, Right now is where I want to live.
Thank You for today. I am Grateful, for today is all I have.

Click here to see a You tube video of Phil singing this song.



The song to me is a positive reminder to live each day and even in each moment with a thankful heart. In the Positive Psychology class I am taking online with lecturer Dr. Tal Ben Shahar, the past couple weeks has focused on the importance of gratitude. Phil is reminding us in this song that the main focus of our time orientation should be living in the present with a spirit of thankfulness.

It is not that the past or future is not important. The past is helpful so we can learn from previous failures in our lives. The past also relates to thankfulness, as I look back, I can be thankful for a mother who encouraged me to read and focus on my education. I am thankful for teachers, friends and ministers who were influential in my life journey. But if we allow hurts and hardships of the past to gain a hold on our hearts the past can crush our spirits into complaining and regret.

As for the future, I am very goal oriented, and I do believe future dreaming has a place. But is that where most of our focus should be? Focusing on the future too much can bring us to a state of continual worry of ‘what is going to happen?” A constant focus on the future can foolishly cost us by neglecting those who should be most important in the present -- our family and friends. It can also cost us by our not doing our best in each present moment which can hinder our future potential. So Phil’s song is right on the money in that right now, is where I am really living. I am learning to be mindful of keeping my focus on living each day to my best ability. As Thanksgiving day, the forgotten holiday comes near, it is a reminder that each day can be a day of thanksgiving.

What is your daily time orientation? Do you live in the past? Do you live for the future? Or are you living thankfully mindful of each present moment? Take a short time to write down three things in your past you are thankful for and three things you are thankful for today!

Living With a Grateful Heart

When we are caught up in the malaise of okness it is easy to focus on complaining how boring life is. We then spiral into more negativity and get caught up in a cycle of just existing and the habit of complaining. Some complaining can be useful if it realistically is discovering a problem to solve, or providing an impetus to improve. Yet all too often we keep on with the complaining, and habitually gripe -- that mires our thought lives with negativity. A positive way of breaking this cycle is to look at life with a grateful heart of thankfulness.

"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” -Margaret Cousins

"I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder." - G.K. Chesterton

The above quotes relate to having a grateful heart. Being grateful in our daily attitude is to focus on being thankful concerning what we have and the good things in our past that have helped mold us to who we are at this present point in time. Being thankful for parents, teachers, friends, and influential heroes that have shaped our present brings inner joy. This helps to counter the blame game of victimhood. Gratefulness for our present situation is a contentment that guards against complaining about what we don’t have.

The sense of appreciation that comes from a grateful heart changes our life for the better. It can break the cycle of negativity if we are in the habit of complaining. Building the habit of a grateful heart will also affect the lives of those around us. For example, when you smile or say “have a nice day”, to a tired sales clerk you can see an immediate body language change as they return a smile and say thanks. Try it on your next shopping trip. Give a smile to the worker at the counter and you will notice a difference. Too many complain, “That store clerk was rude”; “the waitress was so unfriendly”. Maybe they just need a smile to remind them of how they should be. So our appreciative nature may influence others to be more thankful and happy as well.

The Chesterton quote pointed out to me that gratefulness can lead us to a sense of happy wonder. A deep spiritual joy can grow in our inner being as we look at the small things around us, and see how a simple thing like a rose in the garden brightens our day. Noticing the little miracles in life will lead us to having an awe-filled day instead of an awful day. We have a dear friend, Cathy Matovich, who manages a birding store,( Wild Bird Center), in the Chicago area. She gave us a Hummingbird Feeder on our Summer trip to Chicago. We have it hanging on our back patio and there is a sense of joyful awe of God’s creation as we watch our hyperactive little friends flitting about enjoying the nectar from the feeder. We can appreciate God’s creation as we enjoy our morning coffee while watching the birds.

I have had my times in the negative complaining mode, so I can appreciate the experiential difference of living in a more appreciative mindset. In a Positive Psychology class I am taking online; this past week’s lectures have touched on the issue of gratefulness. It is helpful to see the research on the topic. Here are some Samples of research on being grateful that can be found at this website by Dr. Emmons—
http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/labs/emmons/ . From looking at the research it is seen that having gratefulness in our daily living has physical health benefits for better health, positive mental health benefits, increased happiness levels, and higher levels of personal success. That is what Living More Than OK is all about.

Many religious traditions speak to the subject of thankfulness and gratefulness. As I have mentioned in past postings, my spiritual heritage and personal worldview comes from a Christian standpoint of having a personal relation with Christ. Here at the following website are samplings of verses on the importance of being thankful from the Judeo Christian viewpoint:

http://www.wisdomportal.com/Gratitude/Gratitude-Bible.html

Ephesians 5:19 & 20 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

The two verses above are a couple of my favorites on gratefulness. Ephesians 5 speaks to our interpersonal communication that it would be positive in nature. Speaking to each other with Psalms and hymns with an attitude of thankfulness. Philippians 4:6 speaks of overcoming anxiety by the act of spiritual prayer in an attitude of thankfulness. We may not be blissfully happy about everything that is happening to us but by keeping a thankful heart we are better able to cope with life difficulties.

Take 15 minutes to think over two things you are grateful for in your life. How does the reflection over these things make you feel? Is there a person or persons related to what you are grateful for?