Gratitude Is Helpful Beyond Thanksgiving

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues but the parent of all others.” Cicero- Roman politician and philosopher

“I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds” (Psalms 9:1)

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Every Thanksgiving I make sure I do a blog post about the importance of being thankful. As I state in my book, Living More Than OK, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

This year at the college since it is Thanksgiving week I did a lecture in my College classes on the importance of being grateful in our lives. I could have given a quiz or test right before the holiday but I thought it would be better for the student’s lives to think through some positive psychology research on the emotion and attitude of gratitude.

I shared with the students information from some research studies on gratitude. They were based on the work of Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003) as well as Wood, A. M., Joseph, S. & Maltby, J. (2009). I have links to the articles listed under the reflection in today’s post.

The quotes I have listed above show the importance of gratitude in life. Cicero felt it was the parent of all virtues. In the Bible we are encouraged to have thankfulness in our inner most being as well as be thankful in all the experiences in our lives. Thankful in every circumstance t is sometimes hard as in October I shared, I was not too thankful for going into heart stent surgery but again I must confess it saved my life.

I discussed with the students some of the benefits from the research about gratitude. I was also able to bring to their attention research from the most recent issue of Live Happy magazine. In their December edition, Paula Felps, writes about the physical and mental benefits of gratitude from the research of Dr. Sara Algoe at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Grateful people according to research are happier. They find more satisfaction with their life and social relationships. Grateful people are also more positive in their ways of coping with difficulties. They have less stress and depression (I have seen this develop in clients I have worked with in therapy as they reframe from depression to thankfulness). So you can see there are many benefits to being a thankful and grateful person.

Gratefulness does not mean the storms of life will go around us. No, we still are hit with difficulties in life but if we keep a grateful spirit we can bounce back and often learn from our experiences to help others.

At the end of the class we went around the room and each person shared one thing they were thankful for. Most of the gratefulness revolved around family. In each class one person spoke out about being thankful for being alive. That means a lot to me again this Thanksgiving. I am thankful for my family – my wife and daughter but I have a renewed thankfulness for living. Being so close to the October stent surgery where one artery was 99% closed reminded me of 15 years ago when I had 2 arteries 99% closed. Each time I have never suffered an actual heart attack. They have always been caught and unblocked before an actual heart attack. For me that is a miracle and something in both cases I am thankful for.

This Thanksgiving take time to be grateful at some point in the day. Then remember with the benefits of gratefulness isn’t it a good idea to keep the spirit of Thanksgiving going all during the year?

Remember comments are always welcome.

Reflection: What are 3 things you are grateful for this Thanksgiving? How can you be more thankful throughout the year? What does it mean to you to “Give thanks in all circumstances”?

Here is a Youtube video of gratefulness quotes. Which is your favorite quote?

Quotes about gratitude and thankfulness
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IW1uD6FozHU


Here are links to 2 of the articles I shared with my college students

Article by Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003).
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/6Emmons-BlessingsBurdens.pdf

Wood, A. M., Joseph, S. & Maltby, J. (2009)
http://www.academia.edu/176467/Gratitude_predicts_psychological_well-being_above_the_Big-Five_facets

Bed & Breakfast Thanksgiving

We took a different approach to Thanksgiving this year. With work stressing us out we took the opportunity to get away further up in the Hill Country of Texas to Uvalde, Texas. We rented a cabin at the Live Oaks Bed & Breakfast. I have a picture of the country styled cabin shown above. The cabin experience was a relaxing way to spend the holiday. Live Oaks had a beautiful tree covered yard which attracted deer at night.

The main reason for our getaway was to enjoy God’s amazing creation which provided us with an inner purpose for being thankful. We visited two state parts near Uvalde. On the way to the cabin we stopped at Lost Maples State park first. We were hoping to see some changing colors from the maple trees but we must have missed it by a couple of weeks. Still it was an awesome sunny day to view the water and the hillsides during out hike. On the trail we were surprised to meet a young couple from our church. It turned out their family was doing Thanksgiving as well at a nearby cabin. They were kind enough to take a picture of us.

The park we went to on Thanksgiving was Garner State Park. We thought we would be the only ones there but there was a line of cars when we went to the park. Then inside the park in the camping area we found a number of families with campers enjoying the holiday weekend in the state park. Although the parks are relatively close together the trees and surrounding are different. Garner has a shallow river that runs through it and the hillsides seemed steeper. We enjoyed hiking but realized we did not have the right shoes for the one trail we chose so did not make it to the top. We understood it was not the end of the world not to make the whole hiking trail. Again we were just thankful for another beautiful sunny day to enjoy hiking and the wonder of nature surrounding us.

For me I always enjoy finding time on Thanksgiving for reading. Back at the cabin I had evening time to read. I was able over the two days to finish a couple of books I had been working through.

This was a nice change of pace for Thanksgiving this year. We definitely will be returning to Uvalde to visit Garner State Park again (with more appropriate hiking shoes). We will go back to the same bed & breakfast as the atmosphere there was relaxing and clean. As for Thanksgiving though next year I will vote to stay home as I missed cooking the turkey in our kitchen and inviting friends who did not have a place to go.

Reflection: What was your favorite Thanksgiving experience? Are there any Thanksgiving rituals you regularly follow? Did you do any reading during the holiday?

Thankful the Lord Hears Our Cry

Recently I had a client discuss songs that uplift him and give him energy. A couple of the bands he shared were U2 and Duran Duran. He told me I should check out the video of U2 doing the song “40” live at Redrocks. That is one of my favorite U2 songs so I checked out the video. The song is Bono’s adaptation of the first few verses of Psalm 40. Going into Thanksgiving this week I felt it is an important Psalm to reflect upon.

"40" U2 “40” at Redrocks (click on the title to listen to the video and reflect on the words. Below the lyrics I have the complete text of Psalm 40)

I waited patiently for the Lord
He inclined and heard my cry
He brought me up out of the pit
Out of the miry clay

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song
How long to sing this song
How long...how long...how long...
How long...to sing this song

He set my feet upon a rock
And made my footsteps firm
Many will see
Many will see and fear

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song
How long to sing this song
How long...how long...how long...
How long...to sing this song


Psalm 40 King James Version (KJV)

1 I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.

2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.

3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.

4 Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.

5 Many, O Lord my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.

6 Sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire; mine ears hast thou opened: burnt offering and sin offering hast thou not required.

7 Then said I, Lo, I come: in the volume of the book it is written of me,

8 I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.

9 I have preached righteousness in the great congregation: lo, I have not refrained my lips, O Lord, thou knowest.

10 I have not hid thy righteousness within my heart; I have declared thy faithfulness and thy salvation: I have not concealed thy lovingkindness and thy truth from the great congregation.

11 Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O Lord: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me.

12 For innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me.

13 Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me: O Lord, make haste to help me.

14 Let them be ashamed and confounded together that seek after my soul to destroy it; let them be driven backward and put to shame that wish me evil.

15 Let them be desolate for a reward of their shame that say unto me, Aha, aha.

16 Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: let such as love thy salvation say continually, The Lord be magnified.

17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.

The beginning and ending of the verses reveal the attitude of humility that is integral in calling out to God in prayer. The Psalmist presents himself as needing a deliverer and helper for the outside evils of life that face him and the inner sinfulness of his human nature that needs forgiveness. He waits patiently in prayer for the Lord’s answer as he knows God is not a celestial bellboy to jump at his beck and call.

Just like I stated in last week’s post there are times we feel stuck in a pit or other times -- forget the feelings – actual life situations put us in a virtual miry pit. Through crying out to God, the Psalmist reminds us God can lift us out and place us on firm ground. Our response should be a heart of rejoicing and thanksgiving.

In a worshipful response to God’s deliverance we each can create a new song to sing out about God’s wonderful works and how good it is to trust in Him. That song according to verse 3 is a testimony to the people around us. Living out the song can have a positive impact to those around us as they see God’s work in us.

The Psalmist points a realistic picture of the harsh times in life. Sometimes it is other people that put us into the pit. Sometimes it is our selfish sins that make us be stuck in the pit. The promise is as we keep our relationship with God growing He will help us rise above the harsh realities of this life. At this time of Thanksgiving take time to remember and humbly reflect upon the majesty of God who reaches down to us with mercy and love.

Reflection: What do you feel when you think of the majesty of God and his amazing works? What does it mean to you to wait patiently upon the Lord? What New Song is God placing in your heart and life this Thanksgiving?

Celebrating Your Career Dreams

Our work life takes up a large portion of our time. It has been stated we work 80,000-100,000 in our lifetime. I always tell students how do they wish to spend that kind of time? No matter what kind of work we are doing, to live life more than ok we need to make our work life as positive we can. That is too much time to go through despairing or gritting our teeth in anger.

One creative idea about how we canview our work in a positive light, can be found each November with National Career Development Month. Each November the National Career Development Association sponsors a career Poetry & Poster Contest. The contest is an opportunity for Counselors to encourage creativity and inspire career development with a positive tone through mediums of Poetry and Artistic Posters. Age ranges are from Kindergarten to Older Adult. There are three categories:

• Poetry of which can be in any acceptable Poetic form; (e.g. cinquain, free verse, diamante, haiku, limerick, metered, rhyming, blank verse).
• Poster Traditional (C1 Category) using any of the traditional drawing styles --pencil, poster paints, magic marker, acrylics, or oil.
• Poster Mixed Media (C2 Category) utilizing photos, clipart, graphic art software, collage, or mixed media.

The theme this year is “Celebrating My Career Dreams”. I think it is important that National Career month is in November the same month we celebrate Thanksgiving. Especially at this time as the economy is difficult no matter what our work is, whether it is perceived as a job or a calling we should be thankful and celebrate that we have work. Many of those enduring unemployment would like to be in our shoes with steady employment. We should be thankful for the work we have. Now that doesn’t mean we can’t vent about having bad days at work. Those bad days will come and go and make sure you have a shoulder to lean on furing those times at work.

Here is the Link to the NCDA page about the contest and other resources for National Career Development Month: http://associationdatabase.com/aws/NCDA/pt/sp/ncdmonthHere is also a link to last year’s winners so you can view some of the artwork and poetry for inspiration:
http://associationdatabase.com/aws/NCDA/pt/sd/news_article/28941/_PARENT/layout_details/falseIf you are a teacher you may want to speak with your school Counselors about being involved with the contest. If you are an older adult and would like to try out a poster or a poem about your career dreams you can contact me at livingmorethanok@gmail.com as I am the National Contest Chairperson. I can find the state coordinator for you. Even if you don’t want to try out for the contest take some free time and draw out a picture of celebrating the work you do. Think about the lives you touch in the work you do. Also think of new dreams in your career journey.

Reflection:
Write down 5 things you are thankful for about your work.
Take some quiet time to draw out a picture about celebrating your work and career or write out a poem. Think about entering the contest. Who knows you may be a state winner or national winner.

Being Thankful Each Day

My wife and I noticed while shopping in mid-October there were Halloween decorations in one section of the store and Christmas decorations in another. Most stores are the same way. Thanksgiving is squeezed out we felt by commercialization. We spoke to each other how Thanksgiving is too often forgotten as a holiday and in our practice of daily living.

I would like to continue the thoughts from the previous post on gratefulness, by reflecting on a song about thankfulness. It is a song called Thank You For Today on Phil Keaggy’s Dream Again CD. Read over the lyrics here and then click on the You tube link below hear Phil sing the song:

Thank You For Today
Thank You for today. I am Grateful, for today is all I have.
The past is much too heavy for me to carry
If I hold on to it for too long, You know it will crush me.
The future’s far too fragile for me to worry
If I hold on to it for too long, You know it will rush me.
Right now is where you live, Right now is where I want to live.
Thank You for today. I am Grateful, for today is all I have.
In the past I am a fool, I play the fool, if I stay in that place for too long.
Dreams surrender to regret.
In the future I’m a clown, a selfish clown
If I stay in that place for too long, to love another I neglect
Right now there is no temptation Right now there is only faith.
Thank You for today. I am Grateful, for today is all I have.
Right now is where you live, Right now is where I want to live.
Thank You for today. I am Grateful, for today is all I have.

Click here to see a You tube video of Phil singing this song.



The song to me is a positive reminder to live each day and even in each moment with a thankful heart. In the Positive Psychology class I am taking online with lecturer Dr. Tal Ben Shahar, the past couple weeks has focused on the importance of gratitude. Phil is reminding us in this song that the main focus of our time orientation should be living in the present with a spirit of thankfulness.

It is not that the past or future is not important. The past is helpful so we can learn from previous failures in our lives. The past also relates to thankfulness, as I look back, I can be thankful for a mother who encouraged me to read and focus on my education. I am thankful for teachers, friends and ministers who were influential in my life journey. But if we allow hurts and hardships of the past to gain a hold on our hearts the past can crush our spirits into complaining and regret.

As for the future, I am very goal oriented, and I do believe future dreaming has a place. But is that where most of our focus should be? Focusing on the future too much can bring us to a state of continual worry of ‘what is going to happen?” A constant focus on the future can foolishly cost us by neglecting those who should be most important in the present -- our family and friends. It can also cost us by our not doing our best in each present moment which can hinder our future potential. So Phil’s song is right on the money in that right now, is where I am really living. I am learning to be mindful of keeping my focus on living each day to my best ability. As Thanksgiving day, the forgotten holiday comes near, it is a reminder that each day can be a day of thanksgiving.

What is your daily time orientation? Do you live in the past? Do you live for the future? Or are you living thankfully mindful of each present moment? Take a short time to write down three things in your past you are thankful for and three things you are thankful for today!