Gratitude Is Helpful Beyond Thanksgiving

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues but the parent of all others.” Cicero- Roman politician and philosopher

“I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds” (Psalms 9:1)

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Every Thanksgiving I make sure I do a blog post about the importance of being thankful. As I state in my book, Living More Than OK, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

This year at the college since it is Thanksgiving week I did a lecture in my College classes on the importance of being grateful in our lives. I could have given a quiz or test right before the holiday but I thought it would be better for the student’s lives to think through some positive psychology research on the emotion and attitude of gratitude.

I shared with the students information from some research studies on gratitude. They were based on the work of Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003) as well as Wood, A. M., Joseph, S. & Maltby, J. (2009). I have links to the articles listed under the reflection in today’s post.

The quotes I have listed above show the importance of gratitude in life. Cicero felt it was the parent of all virtues. In the Bible we are encouraged to have thankfulness in our inner most being as well as be thankful in all the experiences in our lives. Thankful in every circumstance t is sometimes hard as in October I shared, I was not too thankful for going into heart stent surgery but again I must confess it saved my life.

I discussed with the students some of the benefits from the research about gratitude. I was also able to bring to their attention research from the most recent issue of Live Happy magazine. In their December edition, Paula Felps, writes about the physical and mental benefits of gratitude from the research of Dr. Sara Algoe at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Grateful people according to research are happier. They find more satisfaction with their life and social relationships. Grateful people are also more positive in their ways of coping with difficulties. They have less stress and depression (I have seen this develop in clients I have worked with in therapy as they reframe from depression to thankfulness). So you can see there are many benefits to being a thankful and grateful person.

Gratefulness does not mean the storms of life will go around us. No, we still are hit with difficulties in life but if we keep a grateful spirit we can bounce back and often learn from our experiences to help others.

At the end of the class we went around the room and each person shared one thing they were thankful for. Most of the gratefulness revolved around family. In each class one person spoke out about being thankful for being alive. That means a lot to me again this Thanksgiving. I am thankful for my family – my wife and daughter but I have a renewed thankfulness for living. Being so close to the October stent surgery where one artery was 99% closed reminded me of 15 years ago when I had 2 arteries 99% closed. Each time I have never suffered an actual heart attack. They have always been caught and unblocked before an actual heart attack. For me that is a miracle and something in both cases I am thankful for.

This Thanksgiving take time to be grateful at some point in the day. Then remember with the benefits of gratefulness isn’t it a good idea to keep the spirit of Thanksgiving going all during the year?

Remember comments are always welcome.

Reflection: What are 3 things you are grateful for this Thanksgiving? How can you be more thankful throughout the year? What does it mean to you to “Give thanks in all circumstances”?

Here is a Youtube video of gratefulness quotes. Which is your favorite quote?

Quotes about gratitude and thankfulness
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IW1uD6FozHU


Here are links to 2 of the articles I shared with my college students

Article by Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003).
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/6Emmons-BlessingsBurdens.pdf

Wood, A. M., Joseph, S. & Maltby, J. (2009)
http://www.academia.edu/176467/Gratitude_predicts_psychological_well-being_above_the_Big-Five_facets

Mindfully Living More Than OK

On the Merriam Webster website mindfulness is defined as “the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis.” In my book, Living More Than OK, (click on the book title to see my book) I share in the chapter of savoring how living Mindfully helps us appreciate the present moments as we go through each day. Learning to enjoy the moments, instead of dreading them helps us in Living More Than OK.

From a Christian viewpoint much of what is taught about mindfulness fits well with Christ’s teaching in the Sermon on the Mount: Matthew 6:34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (Message Bible). Following Jesus each day one day at a time, if we are mindfully aware we can understand and see more of what God is trying to accomplish in our lives. Most of our worries and anxieties are future oriented that don’t ever occur so living in the present cuts down on our worries.

After attending a mindfulness meditation course we tried mindfulness meditation as a family. I was skeptical of it as first as we turned our living room recliners and couch into a family meditation center (Yes you can use a recliner! It is a mindful myth that you need to twist your body in an uncomfortable pose to meditate). We tried the Jon Kabat-Zinn 8 week body scan meditation system. The meditation was 30 minutes long. After a week of getting used to the meditation without falling asleep I found that my mind was more alert afterwards. We also found we slept better during the night. The benefits I had read in research articles on mindfulness I was able to see in my family’s lives. We have switched off to a shorter 20 minute body scan. You can find the body scan at this website my wife came across:
20 minute body scan from a mindfulness website:

palousemindfulness.com/meditations/bodyscan20min.html

Music can also help you mindfully relax and meditate. In my office when I am working on projects or paperwork to keep my mind relaxed and alert I often listen to the techno music of Dr. Jeffrey Thompson. Here is a link to one of his Youtube videos:

Dr Jeffrey Thompson meditative music:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY5k0ZG6XcA


When I think of meditation I remember at a conference hearing a secular therapist share how he was working with a client from the Christian faith and suggested mindfulness meditation to him. The man bristled that he could not do something contrary to his Christian faith thinking is was about New Age or Buddhism. The therapist shared how he then researched meditation in the Christian context and found a rich heritage in early Christian writings about meditation. He presented that to the client and that made a difference in the man’s mental health healing.

There are many scriptures that point to meditation for those like myself that look at life from a Christian worldview. I will list a few here:

Psalm 77:12 I will meditate on all Your work And muse on Your deeds

Psalm 145:5 On the glorious splendor of Your majesty And on Your wonderful works, I will meditate.

Psalm 119:15-16 I will meditate on Your precepts And regard Your ways. I shall delight in Your statutes; I shall not forget Your word.

The three verses from the Psalms reveal a type of meditation different from the mindful body scan mentioned earlier. They speak to a devotional meditation that is longer than a 5 minute quick read over a devotional. This meditation is making time to reflect on God’s work in your life, in creation and in the scriptures. Take time to reflect, muse and meditate on how God is working in your life and in the precepts and statutes in His Word.

Considering our noisy and busy world one of my favorite Bible verses that relate to being mindful in the moment is:

Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

We need to take moments during the day to be still and be aware of all that God gives to us. This can build up a grateful spirit in us and we may be more aware in other moments of God’s little ways of speaking to us.

Reflection: What comes to your mind when you think of meditation? Try one of the links on meditation either the 20 minute body scan or the Dr. Jeffrey Thompson music. Did you find yourself more rested or alert? What do you think of the verses from the book of Psalms about meditation?

Being Grateful on Thanksgiving

Last week I attended the Texas Counseling Association’s annual conference in Galveston, Texas. Because of my work schedule I could only attend the one day I was presenting. It was a disappointment to me as I prefer attending a full conference to attend as many sessions as I can to learn, to improve and grow. A good thing about the trip was that my wife was able to go along We had an enjoyable evening going to the Festival Of Lights program at Moody Gardens. They have an amazing creative Christmas themed light display every December so while we were in Galveston that was a must.

What does that have to do with Thanksgiving? One thing is that I am writing this on Thanksgiving Day and the experience popped into my mind. Another is that I am thankful we had the opportunity as a couple to enjoy the Festival of Lights. Also one section of the session I presented on, Living More Than OK In Our Workplaces, was being grateful in our work. Having an Attitude of gratitude in our work and how it can help improve our work experience. I had a good group of people show up to the session. It was a Friday at noon session so as a presenter you never know how many will show up. During the time segment on thankfulness in the workplace, I appreciated how a number of the people shared what they were thankful for in their work settings. They all felt that hearing thankful thoughts about work made them feel better. That is one importance of having a grateful attitude.

This Thanksgiving I am sitting in a hotel room writing. This is because instead of getting up early to put the turkey in the oven and working on my sweet potato casserole we drove to visit my wife’s relatives and have a Korean styled dinner of kimbop rolls, (Korean Sushi rolls), and beef bulgogi. Since the family conversation would be in Korean which I do not know, I decided to use my time studying, reading, and writing. So it is a nice change of pace for a Thanksgiving.

Being Thanksgiving I brought along a book called, On Gratitude by Todd Jensen It is a series of interviews about gratitude with artists, singers, writers, sport stars. I read five of the stories; Sheryl Crow, Alicia Keys, Daryl Hall, Ray Bradbury and Yao Ming. While reading I remembered those who attended my session at the conference who expressed their stories of thankfulness. I realized the high point in my session for me was hearing why they were thankful. The lesson I learned is we can improve in our attitude of gratitude by sharing and listening to others what they are thankful for in their lives. That is a key element to Todd Jensen’s book. The author has a website where you can learn more about being a grateful person and the importance of it at www.thegratitudelist.org I would encourage you to check it out.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday for it is a remembrance of the importance of giving thanks and having an attitude of gratitude. Culturally in our country I call it the forgotten holiday as the emphasis is on Halloween sales and then right into Christmas sales. I was pleased when I saw a person who posted on Facebook an ad from Nordstrom’s Department store that stated how they would be closed out of honor for Thanksgiving Day. I wish all stores would follow their lead and more so if the American public would follow the lead and not shop on Thanksgiving Day. Can’t people give it a rest one day of the year to be grateful in their hearts.

Of course books like On Gratitude, remind us that being grateful is not just for one day but a year round daily activity. Having a thankful heart benefits our living more than ok each and everyday.

Reflection: Look over the past week and write down a list of as many things as you can remember that you are grateful for.

Tapping Into Practical Spirituality In The Job Search

Recently I have been reading a number of career books to improve my thoughts on Career Counseling. One book I have working through is The Job Search Solution by Tony Beshara. He is the President and owner of Babich and Associates which is the oldest job placement firm in Texas. One thing that drew me to the book is that he obviously has a passion for helping people through the difficulties of the job search.

The best sections of the book for me were the interviewing process which is a scary process for many people. It is often a topic that is not discussed well in career books. Still there was a chapter that caught me off guard as I was not expecting the topic in a book about job searching. I was pleasantly surprised to see a chapter entitled, “The Benefits of Practical Spirituality”. What does spirituality have to do with looking for a job? Isn't that side of life just for religious types on the weekend? I could simply say “Buy the book and find out”, but that is not what this blog is about. Even though I encourage you if you work with career issues a lot this book will be a help to you in helping clients.
I will share some of the ideas he discusses in the chapter with you. What I like is that they are practical ideas so that even if someone is agnostic and the idea of humans having a spiritual side is nauseating they can still honestly see themselves incorporating these ideas. Also I believe the ideas can be helpful simply in our daily work lives.

The first idea he mentions is Be Grateful. I have written in the past on the importance of having a thankful spirit in our life journey. There is a wealth of research showing the importance of being grateful. Carrying an attitude of gratitude as the poplar phase goes, builds up a positive outlook to the our daily journey. I know from having been on job hunts myself that it is easy to get down negatively on life. When working to help those in the middle of a job search, I know being grateful after another job hunt dead-end is difficult. Those who do try writing down a few things they are grateful for each day, though find that an attitude shift occurs that helps the day to day job search process more manageable. This spirit of thankfulness helps in the daily grind of work as well.

Practicing Forgiveness is something the author mentions that again someone may think has nothing to do about the job search. Although if you think about it, an unforgiving attitude exudes bitterness about the gripe or complaint the person is often holding onto. Many times in the job search process maybe the issue that needs forgiveness was things that happened at a former place of employment. Maybe there needs to be forgiveness of themselves for making a bad choice in quitting a job too early or taking a job they knew they weren't qualified for. In today’s job world of layoffs possibly it is hard feelings about being downsized. Forgiveness can lighten the heavy spirit of bitterness that weighs on a person’s emotions. It is best to be rid of the bitterness as it can be a body language hindrance in an interview setting. Or even in a new job if the person has not let go of the past issues it can hamper work effectiveness.

Another idea that he mentions that meant much to me is looking at the power of prayer. He makes a point of saying not to pray for a specific job but to pray for wisdom and guidance in the job search process. I see this thought as praying for opportunities to open and then wisdom to know which opportunity to focus in on. Of course this idea is not attractive to those who disbelieve in the power of prayer. For those people he encourages them to look at this idea as creating a list of what he calls positive intentions that you desire to pass on to other people . This can relate I believe to visualization. Take some quiet time to visualize in your mind new opportunities and ways to help others and often you will become more aware of opportunities in your daily life. I strongly believe prayer is important is our daily work life as well, to live out the best intentions in our work and with our co-workers.

The idea of positive intentions towards others relates well with another idea he relates which is volunteering. Of course a job search should be considered a full time job until a person finds work. But finding some time to volunteer is a positive experience to help others. Of course it can be a productive networking experience as well for those on a job search. For those who are working, volunteering is an extra way to give back to your community in your local church, synagogue or community service group. It provides a positive example to your children and enriches your life as you are giving to others often less fortunate than you are.
Tony Beshara’s chapter on Practical Spirituality in the job search process has a number of other ideas. I just wanted to touch on a few here that stood out to me. Hopefully if these wet your mental appetite you will look for his book at your local library or bookstore near you.

Reflection: How does Gratefulness, Forgiveness, Prayer, and Volunteering relate to your career life? Write your thoughts down in your journal.

Living With a Grateful Heart

When we are caught up in the malaise of okness it is easy to focus on complaining how boring life is. We then spiral into more negativity and get caught up in a cycle of just existing and the habit of complaining. Some complaining can be useful if it realistically is discovering a problem to solve, or providing an impetus to improve. Yet all too often we keep on with the complaining, and habitually gripe -- that mires our thought lives with negativity. A positive way of breaking this cycle is to look at life with a grateful heart of thankfulness.

"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” -Margaret Cousins

"I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder." - G.K. Chesterton

The above quotes relate to having a grateful heart. Being grateful in our daily attitude is to focus on being thankful concerning what we have and the good things in our past that have helped mold us to who we are at this present point in time. Being thankful for parents, teachers, friends, and influential heroes that have shaped our present brings inner joy. This helps to counter the blame game of victimhood. Gratefulness for our present situation is a contentment that guards against complaining about what we don’t have.

The sense of appreciation that comes from a grateful heart changes our life for the better. It can break the cycle of negativity if we are in the habit of complaining. Building the habit of a grateful heart will also affect the lives of those around us. For example, when you smile or say “have a nice day”, to a tired sales clerk you can see an immediate body language change as they return a smile and say thanks. Try it on your next shopping trip. Give a smile to the worker at the counter and you will notice a difference. Too many complain, “That store clerk was rude”; “the waitress was so unfriendly”. Maybe they just need a smile to remind them of how they should be. So our appreciative nature may influence others to be more thankful and happy as well.

The Chesterton quote pointed out to me that gratefulness can lead us to a sense of happy wonder. A deep spiritual joy can grow in our inner being as we look at the small things around us, and see how a simple thing like a rose in the garden brightens our day. Noticing the little miracles in life will lead us to having an awe-filled day instead of an awful day. We have a dear friend, Cathy Matovich, who manages a birding store,( Wild Bird Center), in the Chicago area. She gave us a Hummingbird Feeder on our Summer trip to Chicago. We have it hanging on our back patio and there is a sense of joyful awe of God’s creation as we watch our hyperactive little friends flitting about enjoying the nectar from the feeder. We can appreciate God’s creation as we enjoy our morning coffee while watching the birds.

I have had my times in the negative complaining mode, so I can appreciate the experiential difference of living in a more appreciative mindset. In a Positive Psychology class I am taking online; this past week’s lectures have touched on the issue of gratefulness. It is helpful to see the research on the topic. Here are some Samples of research on being grateful that can be found at this website by Dr. Emmons—
http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/labs/emmons/ . From looking at the research it is seen that having gratefulness in our daily living has physical health benefits for better health, positive mental health benefits, increased happiness levels, and higher levels of personal success. That is what Living More Than OK is all about.

Many religious traditions speak to the subject of thankfulness and gratefulness. As I have mentioned in past postings, my spiritual heritage and personal worldview comes from a Christian standpoint of having a personal relation with Christ. Here at the following website are samplings of verses on the importance of being thankful from the Judeo Christian viewpoint:

http://www.wisdomportal.com/Gratitude/Gratitude-Bible.html

Ephesians 5:19 & 20 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

The two verses above are a couple of my favorites on gratefulness. Ephesians 5 speaks to our interpersonal communication that it would be positive in nature. Speaking to each other with Psalms and hymns with an attitude of thankfulness. Philippians 4:6 speaks of overcoming anxiety by the act of spiritual prayer in an attitude of thankfulness. We may not be blissfully happy about everything that is happening to us but by keeping a thankful heart we are better able to cope with life difficulties.

Take 15 minutes to think over two things you are grateful for in your life. How does the reflection over these things make you feel? Is there a person or persons related to what you are grateful for?