Lessons in Cinemetherapy from Wonder

With the craziness of ending the college semester I have been away from my blog. As I finish giving my students their final exams I thought I would share some thoughts on a movie my family and I saw a few weeks ago. The movie was Wonder. It is based on the book of the same name by the author, R. J. Palacio (Can’t forget the book order it here!). As a family we were amazed and I felt this should be a family classic. The movie follows a family through a year of their son transitioning from home schooling to a middle school. The son, Auggie, was born with a rare physical deformity that affects his appearance.

Of course Auggie being the central character, his concerns are in the forefront. The movie is an excellent study on the topic of bullying as Auggie was faced with rejection and being made fun of by the students at the school. Yet the movie is much more than an anti-bully movie. The story speaks to the importance of real friendship. There is a positive look at how a family works together in dealing with life difficulties. As a counselor I appreciated the in-depth look at the lives and back story of the various characters. The older sister realistically shows what siblings go though in a family with a special needs child of how forgotten they feel. Married couples can also learn from the parents in the movie how to be supportive of each other during life difficulties.

This was one of those movies that made me reflect back to my Masters in Counseling program when we lived in Brownsville, Texas. One of my professors, Dr. Selma Yznaga at UT Brownsville, (now UT Rio Grande Valley), shared with us in her classes about the benefits of Cinematherapy. She revealed to us how movies can speak to the power of stories to clients. In the movie, Wonder, there are many topics as I stated about that relate to the stories people live out in their daily lives. Movies can have a transforming effect as we connect with the purpose of the story and connect with the characters in a movie. We learn and transform through the power of story.

Dr. Birgit Wolz in the introduction to her book, E-Motion Picture Magic, says this about the power of movies: “As a therapist, I believe the movie experience used in a very specific way can have great healing benefits for those who are willing to apply themselves. I also believe that this experience can be fun” (p5). As a family we have often have learned and also enjoyed the experience of discussing a movie once we have seen it together. I have also had success with teen and child clients when discussing a movie that meant a lot to them.

This movie with its story line that touches on bullying, also provoked my mind to think about an old friend from high school days in Barberton, Ohio, Dr. Ron Graham. He is active in helping schools on the issue of bullying. He was a contributor with Kelly Karius in a book titled, No Such Thing As A Bully (purchase it on Amazon). It is a great resource for counselors, teachers, and parents. Their website for the book and their program is -- http://nosuchthingasabully.com. I encourage anyone interested in bullying to check out their book and website.

Back to the movie, as I do not want to pigeon hole it as just an anti-bully movie. As you go to watch it, (put this down as a must see movie), keep in mind the title, WONDER, and reflect on how to add more wonder in your own life journey! My book, Living More Than OK (click to purchase) has within its pages principles to live a Wonder-filled life. There is still time to order it as a Christmas gift for a friend or yourself.

Reflection: What comes to your mind when you quiet your mind and reflect on the word WONDER? How can you build more wonder in your life? What are some best ways to counter bullying in society?

Gardening Part of Living More Than OK

I have recovered and caught up some since my comprehensive exams for my Ph.D., so I thought I would move back to writing in my blog. I realize with life one never fully gets caught up so I decided to keep moving forward. One of the activities I have been doing recently during my recouping phase is helping prepare our Spring/Summer garden here in Texas. The garden is something my wife enjoys so my daughter and I help her with the preparation and harvesting.
Growing up in Ohio my mother and father planted a large vegetable garden. My dad would grow sweet potatoes almost as big as a football. When he died my mom moved us in with our grandmother and she even had more land for gardening and that garden provided much of the yearly food supply. So our present home gardening of the past few years brings back fond memories of growing up helping my mom in the garden.

For the most part these past few years while I have been working on my doctorate, my college teaching, and counseling; the garden has been run mostly by my wife. I am just starting my dissertation so after that is finished I will be more involved in the gardening. Preparing the garden in tilling the soil, planting and pruning our fruit trees has been a helpful relaxing diversion while I have been recovering from the stress of the exam I went through.

Gardening also provides times for families to work together. The above picture shows the garden pathway my daughter and wife laid out the other day. It was hard work for them but after their work they enjoyed a steak dinner of which I was not a part of since I was working on reports the whole day. The picture also gives an idea of the garden we tilled and planted a couple of weeks ago. We have a variety of tomatoes, peppers, squash, okra, cucumbers, Swiss Chard, collard greens, Mumbai spinach as well as herbs and other vegetables. We all worked together to get the garden going then pray for success as we never know what Texas weather will bring.

The work that goes into gardening provides an appreciation of farmers in our country and around the world that provide us with food. Our home garden has helped with the food bill but we are definitely not self-sufficient. The battle with weeds and watching over the need for watering is work. It is hard to imagine the level of work that goes on the grand scale of large family farms that provide the world’s food supply.

Outside of the hard work there is amazement and wonder in watching the plants grow. Some of our plants were from seeds. The wonder is in seeing the green shoots breaking up through the ground and before we know it the plant is blooming with flowers that become the vegetables. The development is an amazing wonder of creation. How did the various plants develop? Why are there so many varieties instead of just a few plants that we would be stuck eating? Kind of makes one wonder who or what is behind such amazing wonders doesn’t it?

Whether it is just a few herbs and tomatoes on a patio or a small raised garden give Spring planting a try. If you are benefited with a larger piece of land use some of that land for a garden. It will save you dollars at the grocer and teach your family the hard work that goes into growing produce. As you watch the development of the plants, you may also be caught up in the wonder of watching creation in an amazing way. Then of course the best part is harvesting the fruits and vegetables and using them in your salads and cooking at home.

Reflection: How thankful are you for the farmers who provide the bountiful supply of food you enjoy at your local market and grocer? Try this Spring to either just do a few plants if you are in an apartment or try a small raised garden in your yard. Reflect on the amazing variety in the vegetables, fruits and flowers. Why do you think there is such variety? Does it amaze you?

Appreciating Each Moment

This week I am continuing to look at music and will again use a song to look at how we can use the songs we enjoy to help in our daily journeys. One helpful resource in looking at the power of music to help and to heal is The Tao of Music: Sound Psychology by John Ortiz. This book looks at how music can relate to a variety of life issues such as depression, self esteem, stress, grief, loss and anger. He presents songs from a wide variety of songs with differing music styles that relate to these various problems people face in life. He offers practical applications and exercises to see how music ca be used therapeutically to improve our lives. His book can help you appreciate the healing power of music.

Time is important and it is a topic that I will come back to, as our journey through this life, is based in the dimension of time. Today I want to look at another song that is one of my favorites, as an example the effect music and lyrics can have for our benefit. The song is Miracle of the Moment, by Steven Curtis Chapman. First look over the lyrics and then watch the You Tube video by clicking on the video link below.

Miracle of the Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman

It's time for letting go; All of our "if onlys"Cause we don't have a time machine
And even if we did; Would we really want to use it.
Would we really want to go change everything.
Cause we are who and where and what we are for now,
And this is the only moment we can do anything about.
So breathe it in and breathe it out; And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now, It's right there in front of you.
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment.

There's only One who knows, What's really out there waiting.
And all the moments yet to be, And all we need to know,
Is He's out there waiting, To Him the future's history.
And He has given us a treasure called right now.
And this is the only moment we can do anything about.
So breathe it in and breathe it out, And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now, It's right there in front of you.
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment.

And if it brings you tears, Then taste them as they fall.
Let them soften your heart.
And if it brings you laughter, Then throw your head back. And let it go,
Let it go, yeah, You gotta let it go.
And listen to your heartbeat.
And breathe it in and breathe it out, And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now, It's right there in front of you.
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment.
And breathe it in and breathe it out, And listen to your heartbeat.
There's a wonder in the here and now (here and now)
It's right there in front of you,
And I don't want you to miss the miracle. Of the moment.

Link to the Miracle of the Moment video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rResKXjKqjQ

This song speaks to an important part of Living More Than OK. Making the most of each moment, by appreciating each moment can have a dynamic effect in our lives. We can increase our happiness levels in life if we can appreciate each moment in our time line as a miracle. By buzzing around busily, we miss the wonder of the world around us. That is a key element I see Chapman is getting across to us in his song. Watch the video again and appreciate the wonder of nature in the pictures found in the video created to go along with the music. Truly awesome!

I know too many times I have missed the sunsets, and here in South Texas, we have some beautiful ones. I have passed by the flowers unknowingly of their beauty. I have missed the treasures of relating to the people around me -- to enjoy sharing their joys or helping with their hurts. Why? I am too caught up rushing on a train to nowhere or blindly floating on autopilot routinely doing tasks that have no lasting value. Do you ever find yourself this way? Be active in your present with awareness as our choices in the present have a great impact on our futures. As Chapman writes, “And this is the only moment we can do anything about”.

Make it a point to choose a day this week to go through the day more mindfully aware of the moments around you. At the end of the day take a short time to write down a reflection. Before you write relax a few minutes just breathing slowly in and out. Then write down the treasures and wonders that the God behind the moments brought into your life that day! Appreciate each moment!