In being open and accepting of our humanness we need to be aware that in our life journey we have a tendency to make messes in our lives. At times we are our own worst enemy towards living an abundant life which I term Living More Than OK. We fall into wrong behaviors or harmful thought patterns that affect our behaviors. Sometimes it is a negative reaction to chance events in our lives.
Looking at life with a Christian worldview I see the messes we create in life relate to the concept of the sin nature spoken of in the Bible. It is the observation that we fall short of perfection and many times fall far short. Two children fighting in school and a teacher stops them, how often will one student step up and say, “ to be honest, teacher I started the fight.” No instead without being taught they point at each other, “He started it!.” No one teaches us to lie it comes natural. These falling short moments often create messes in our lives that affect our life experience and many times those around us.. It is a struggle with our human nature that we fight with in our life. The Apostle Paul points out this inner struggle in his writings. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. (Romans 7:15,18&19). It is that battle of choosing to do right or wrong.
The battle between doing what is right verses creating a new mess in our lives relates to our personal choices. From a Christian standpoint the ultimate choice in the battle relates to a faith decision in what Christ has done for us in His Death And Resurrection. But the little battles daily relate to personal choices as well. As Dr Shad Helmstetter says , “ Who knows what you could accomplish in life if you made more of the right choices along the way?”
We recently took our daughter up to Corpus Christi to a Switchfoot concert. They have a song on their new CD Hello Hurricane that relates to the topic of Overcoming messes in our lives. Watch the video of them, and reflect over the lyrics below.
Mess of Me (Click to watch the video)
I am my own affliction, I am my own disease
There ain’t no drug that they could sell, Ah there ain´t no drugs to make me well
There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, It´s not enough, The sickness is myself
- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I made a mess of me I wanna the get back rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!
We lock our souls in cages, We hide inside our shells
It´s hard to free the ones you love, Oh when you can´t forgive yourself
Yeah forgive yourself!
There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, The sickness is myself
- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!
There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, No drug to make me well
There ain´t no drug, It´s not enough, I´m breaking up, The sickness is myself
The sickness is myself
- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!!
When we choose to let our messes control our lives we lock ourselves up. When I allowed my life to spiral into depression after a difficult time in Chicago I did lock up a lot of my spare time in my apartment. It was often a struggle to get out and do the right thing of doing things I enjoyed like exploring the art museum, various neighborhood activities and seeing people at church. It was more depressingly comfortable to stay in the shell of the apartment. The desire in the back of my mind was to “get back the rest of me” and “spend the rest of my life alive”. That was the choice I eventually followed
During that difficult period, I took the time to reflect on how I wanted the rest of my life to go. Times of meditation on the Psalms and solitude of prayerful reflection on my life journey helped me make better Choices. “Listen to the quietest of whispers of your mind…They are telling you the choices that will help you the most.” - Shad Helmstetter. It is during times of quiet solitude where we can think through our lives and our future possibilities with deeper clarity. So if you are in the midst of a mess or tired of a messy life; place into your time schedule time to have quiet time to reflect on the whispers of your mind. Make a weekend get away to just reflect on what you want to make your live more alive. To reflect over the future of your life journey and look at new possibilities for yourself.
Reflection:
Is there a mess in your life that makes you feel caged in?
How can you get back to being the you -- you want to be?
What will help you make your life more alive?
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Human beings sometimes make a mess of our lives because of false beliefs. All of us are impregnated by false beliefs through culture, society, religion, parents, etc. It is said that we are what we learned to be. I say that we are what we are taught we supposed to be. On an issue as important and devastating to humanity as depression, we find that even though numbers tell us that more women than men are affected by depression, most women seek help in the affliction. Why? Because they are taught that they are dependent. They are the weaker sex, so it is alright to seek help. Men are the stronger sex. Men cannot buckle under stress and strain. Women depend on men for strength. Men are socioculturally trained to focus on achievement and success. This mentality makes all men (even if they don't want to admit it) feel under constant pressure to perform well. This feeling starts in middle childhood when they become conscious of gender differentiation. So when they experience setbacks at home, at school, in sports, or in the workplace, they usually keep their distress to themselves. Even though women may have the same experiences, it's alright for them to seek help. If boys or men seek help, they are told by their parents or elders,"Take it like a man", "Men don't cry" and "Be strong and hold your ground". So, they hold it in. If they are young, they may turn to anger, bullying, violence, taking risks, and above all, avoiding family from which they usually do not get any support. What can they really do? What is a solution to male depression? Most certainly, it is seeking help. It takes a brave man to admit he needs help. Let go of your hurt. Depression is really fear. Fear of not being able to push on. Fear of not being able to obtain success. Fear of being worthless. Let go of the fear. Fear is something one does not need. It may have grown from inside us but no one needs it. So shed fear. Let it go. Letting go of fear is a choice. But, it is a choice we can only make ourselves. No one can make it for us. When you first detect fear, reject it. This is easier said than done. That is why a man must seek help to be enlightened by a counselor in the fact that life is not all that bleak. It may be hard, but it is not bleak. No man is an island. No man is alone. There is always someone who can help and sometimes that person is at arm's length. See a counselor or use this blog to air your pain. This is Fire 5, at your service.
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