Monday, June 12, 2017
Overcoming Worry In Living More Than OK
Many of the clients I work with struggle with anxiety. Of these, many of them struggle with excessive worry. I have had my share of excessive worry moments that have interfered with my life over the years. I am always looking for new resources on various mental health topics so I was glad to come across Worry No More! 4 Steps to Stop Worrying and Start Living, by Bruce Van Horn. Bruce is a writer, speaker and life coach. You can learn more about him at www.brucevanhorn.com.
Bruce in his book openly shares in a transparent manner his own personal struggles in life in relation to worry and anxiety. He rightly points out that if we are honest we all worry as it is natural. Worry in the best light can be seen as a built in thought warning system. The problem is when we let worry take over and we lose control over the thought process. We then let worry get us stuck in passive anxiety mode instead of actively moving in a positive problem solving mode. He encourages the reader to move towards really living in life instead of being stuck in worries.
One main emphasis in the book is how our thoughts are so important in guiding us into a life worth living. As he states on page 32, “Because our thoughts guide our behavior, and it is through our behavior that we create things, it reasons to say ‘thoughts become things’”. When we let worries get out of control and move to anxiety we need to understand as Bruce did in his life that our main problem is a thought problem.
One major turning point in his life was when he decided to move from negative thinking to a gratitude thinking by using a gratitude journal. I speak of this idea in my book, Living More Than OK, when I discuss the research on gratitude in my chapter on Thankfulness. He found that the simple move from negative worry thoughts to positive gratitude thoughts created a positive gain and benefit in his behaviors and building of further sound thinking. So he found it was possible to move from excessive worry to a more balanced positive outlook on life. A positive outlook does not stop devastating events from occurring. The bad things in life still occur and Bruce honestly shares some tough difficulties he faced even after his awareness of changing his thoughts. What he found was that devastating events do not have to devastate our future. We have with our mind and inner spirit great ability to rebound and create new possibilities.
In the book he provides a number of other book resources and tips to make use of, to really start living in your life. One tip that stood out to me was to stop being a negative critic of yourself and become your own best encouraging coach. Build up uplifting positive self-talk. Of course make it realistic but make sure the positives you say to yourself outweigh the negatives. Bruce speaks to this on page 59, “If you will constantly practice speaking kind, uplifting, encouraging, and motivating words to yourself, you will begin to develop an inner-strength and self-love that will allow you to endure hardships with more confidence…” Think through what he is saying in that statement. Be honest and reflect what kind of self-talk is programing your thought life? Are you tearing yourself down or building yourself up?
In his discussion of exercise he presents a helpful tie-in of exercise with mindfulness with the idea of “observation walks”. He says use some of your walking time not to plan out things in our life. Instead use the walking time to clear the mind by intentionally noticing what is in your environment while you are walking. Take note of the flowers and nature around you as you walk. What he is describing is the essence of mindfulness in being mindful of the present moments in your walk.
Bruce has numerous other ideas in his book. The final one that stood out to me is when he was sharing about his faith in a Creator God he shared a verse from Proverbs 29:18 “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” He speaks in this section how he believes we are each created by a Creator to live a life of purpose. I happen to share the same worldview concept. If we stay focused on discovering and following the purpose we are on this life journey for, we will find fewer reasons to allow worry to conquer our lives. As we let the worries go we can be freed up to enjoy Living More Than OK and Start Living.
As I stated I was in this post, just touching on a few of his ideas that stood out to me. Get a copy of his Worry No More! To find out other ideas he shares.
Reflection: What have been some of your worries that in retrospect you can laugh at yourself over them? How can you be a better encouraging coach to yourself? Go to a park or lake and try an “Observation Walk”. How did it feel and what did you learn?