Lessons from Enjoying Andrea Bocelli in Concert

Over a week ago we as a family enjoyed a concert experience of Andrea Bocelli in Austin, Texas. We had been anticipating the concert for months as we bought the tickets in Summer. We had viewed dvd’s of his concerts in the past yet in my mind’s eye nothing beats the live concert experience. That evening he was with a full orchestra and chorale, along with guest artists. My favorite of his guests was soprano Ana Maria Martinez. That to me is an amazing point about him. It is not all about him as he showcases other talents to help others in their careers.

He performed songs from his latest CD, “Cinema” as well as popular love songs and spiritual songs. With this being the Christmas season he also did O Come All Ye Faithful in Italian. My wife liked how he showed video of he and his wife during one of the love songs. To promote his Andrea Bocelli Foundation's 'Voices Of Haiti' Choir, he had backup on one song by a local Austin children’s choir. I have listed here the lyrics to one of my favorite songs of his. Take time to listen to the Youtube video embedded in the title by hyperlink:

The Prayer (Click on title to hear duet of Andrea Bocelli and Katherine McPhee)

I pray you'll be our eyes,
and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise,
in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer,
when we lose our way
Lead us to a place,
guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe.
La luce che tu hai
I pray we'll find your light
Nel cuore resterà
And hold it in our hearts
A ricordarci che
When stars go out each night
L'eterna stella sei
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede c'è
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe
Sogniamo un mondo senza più violenza
Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace, di fraternità

La forza che ci dà
We ask that life be kind
È il desiderio che
And watch us from above
Ognuno trovi amor
We hope each soul will find
Intorno e dentro a sé
Another soul to love
Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Just like every child

Need to find a place,
guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
È la fede che
Hai acceso in noi
Sento che ci salverà.

The lessons I learned from the night first of all was while I was listening to the song above, The Prayer. With his blindness he could be bitter, but his singing this song, one understands he has deep spiritual roots. That very first line “I pray you'll be our eyes” must have special meaning to someone who is blind. He is seeking God to guide with his grace and protection throughout each day, in a way that those of us with sight do not fully understand.

After the concert I looked up his biography at biography.com. He was born September 22, 1958 in Lajatico, Tuscany, Italy. His parents encouraged music early in his life with various instruments. He also enjoyed sports especially soccer. He was not born blind but had visual impairment at birth. He actually lost his sight at age 12 playing soccer. I can’t imagine a young boy at that age losing his sight. Thankfully he had a supportive family who encouraged education. He kept his passion for music but his parents wanted him to be a lawyer and he did become one. At the same time he never gave up on music. Happenstance happened in his life with a chance event in 1992 when he recorded a demo tape of "Miserere" the song co-written by Bono of U2. This was heard by the famous Luciano Pavarotti who then helped Andrea spur his career in music to what it is today.

So Andrea Bocelli was respectful of his parents career advice but at the same time never gave up on his own passion for music. He was also proactive with happenstance in that he did not sit around waiting to be noticed but did demo tapes that just happened to reach a great singer like Pavarotti who understood Bocelli’s talent. You can’t just sit and wish on dreams and goals there is the need for action; in the case of music the hard work of creating demos and sending them out.

From a number of songs like The Prayer, above was also the reminder of the importance of the spiritual in our lives. Bocelli seems to understand that his life journey is guided by a power greater than he. Even though I use the word happenstance, I see it as God guiding the chance events in our lives and the wise person acknowledges this. I believe his God-centeredness is a driving force in his Foundation -- 'Voices Of Haiti'. He is using the musical talents of the children in the choir to help change their present lives and a future out of poverty.

We may not have the talent of an Andrea Bocelli but each of us has talents that can either be wasted by neglect or perfected by passion and drive. At this Christmas time this may be the right time to slow down and reflect on your talent and passion and see how you can grow into the New Year.

Reflection: Who is your favorite musician and what can you learn from their life? Take time and think over what your talent in is your life. Are you using your talent or is it stagnating? How can you improve your talent in the New Year?

Persevering After Failure

Last week in my college success courses I teach I shared a true story on what can be learned from failure. The discussion that followed was encouraging as they saw in the story perseverance, learning from wise advice, and that dreams can still come true. Those were the main thoughts the students shared.

The story came from my sharing the book with them, From Failure to Promise “360 Degrees”. I started off with a question: “Is it possible for someone to flunk out of a college and then years later wind up teaching there as a professor?”. After the initial stares some shook their heads no and some indicated yes. That is the reality of the basic gist of the life story, Dr. C. Moorer tells about himself in this memoir about his life from failure to success.
He honestly shares about his high school dream of going to the university to be an auto engineer. He was a good student but various factors interfered in his first year to cause him to go onto suspension, (I won’t discuss the factors here to peak your curiosity to read the book yourself). None the less, he shares about how life happened to him which led to failure. That is what I spoke to my college students about, that life can hit you from left field and bring failure your way. What do you do about it?

There are many principles that can be learned from Dr. Moorer’s story. My favorite is when he accepts advice from his father after he came home dejected from the university on academic suspension. The description of what his dad says is found on page 47, “He asked to speak to me, and I knew it was going to be an interesting conversation , to say the least. “So, you’re finished like that huh?” The dichotomy of his query left me reeling for the right response. “Well, they said I can’t come back for a year or so,” I explained. He quickly followed by asking, “..and then what or now what?” I replied, “I guess I got to go to community college and try to get back in, but I don’t know about my job or engineering…” I said little, but for him, I had either said enough or too much. He calmly but assertively cut in, “Life is hard, ain’t nobody giving away anything. If you really want something worth having, you have to sacrifice for it. It may require bleeding, sweating, and even crying to get it. Just ask the Lord to help you out along the way. Take breaks but don’t break away from it. Everything is going to be alright if you don’t break down like a little sissy every time things don’t go your way.” This was great wisdom from his father who ran a small auto body shop in Detroit, Michigan.

From the rest of the story as the reader follows the progression of his life story up to his present time of being the Dean of the Madonna University School of Business, it shows how he took his father’s advice to heart. He could have played the victim and blamed his professors or maybe that the school did not help him enough. No, he took ownership of his problems. Also his father’s advice showed the values of personal responsibility. I like how he emphasized take a break to gain clear vision of what happened but don’t break away from the future God had for him. You noticed the father did not say. This is unfair! Let’s get a lawyer and start a protest. Instead he encouraged his son to regroup, don’t give up, and turn to God for persevering strength.

Did you notice he is now Dean of the Madonna University School of Business. What happened to his dream of engineering? Sorry no spoiler alert here, you will have to read the story yourself. But it is a learning experience that I discussed with my college students in my college success classes. We discussed how with our dreams and goals we need to be open for shifts to occur. Just as I have shared in the past, Dr. Krumboltz of Stanford University, speaks of how happenstance events can change are dreams and we need to be open to new directions in our lives. This is the same as what Dr. Jim Bright speaks of with the Chaos Theory of Careers that shifts can occur in our life direction. Be open to the shifts if they are opening up new passions and new positives for your life. Some of those shifts or happenstance events start out as failures that come across our paths. That is where we need to listen to Dr. Moorer’s father’s advice in not giving up but taking time to regroup and move forward instead of backwards. Or as I say in my book, Living More Than OK, we need to spiral up to abundant living not spiral down.

Reflection: What does perseverance mean to you? Think back to a failure in your life. What did you learn from the experience?

Quotes Challenge the Mind and the Heart

I enjoy quotes. Often in emails to students I will sign off with a motivational quote to help them in their life journey. An uplifting quote can aid in perking up a difficult day or be an encouragement with struggles you may be facing. There are numerous quote websites you can go to search for quotes with many of the sites listing the quote on a creative background. There are also books of quotes you can purchase and one that I have in my library is a book of heartfelt thoughts – Thoughts Spoken From The Heart: Over 500 Thoughts That Bring Meaning To Your Life written by Lolly Daskal. These are not quotes from various people rather these are meaningful thoughts from her heart.

I came across Lolly Daskal’s writings by happenstance of noticing her topics coming across my Twitter feed. She does writing for Inc.com, Fast Company and Psychology Today. She is founder of Lead from Within, a global leadership, executive coaching, and consulting firm based in New York City and has over 30 years of experience. Her website is http://www.lollydaskal.com where you can check out some of her articles.

I would like to share with you samples of her quotes from her book that stood out to me.
“Instead of waiting for confidence, act as if the change you desire has already taken place.” This one stood out to me, as it reminds me of Dr. Alfred Adler, the famous philosopher and psychiatrist, who used the “as if” technique in therapy. If a client wanted to be more confident what would that look like? He would encourage them to go out and act like they were confident even though at the moment they did not feel like they were confident.

“Passion is the secret to many success stories.” This thought by Lolly Daskal reminds me of the many books I have read over the years of successful people. When you study the lives of those successful be it in business or the arts they have an underlying passion in their life that they follow. It makes me think what am I passionate about?

“Self-confidence is not about the impression you give to other people, but who you are on the inside.” Recently I saw a t shirt that read “I’m Different”. We are each uniquely created people with our own talents and strengths. Our self-confidence needs to come from a healthy pride in knowing who we are and accepting of ourselves. Granted I add we need to continually grow to improve but be proud of your unique God given strengths.

“Never compare yourself to someone else. You never really know their life behind closed doors.” It is so easy to compare our lives to others and think that the grass must be greener in their pasture. It is best to compare your life with how you want to improve by looking at yourself in the mirror instead of trying to be like someone else. It is possible the person you think is so together is looking back at you wishing they had your life.

“Make your values your guiding star for life.” This quote reminds me of how ancient mariners would often use the stars to guide their ships. What are the stars you use to guide your life? Lolly so rightly brings up in this quote the importance of having solid values to guide our lives. As I have mentioned in the past we each look at life from a world view and mine is the Christian worldview. So the basis of my values are principles found in The Bible and in trying to follow the life of Christ as much as possible. We each need to think through what values are guiding our lives.

I hope in sharing a small sample of the quotes in Lolly Daskal’s book that will encourage you to seek our quotes in your life. Some quote websites will even send quotes to your phone daily. Do stop by her website listed about and check out some of her articles she has posted.

Reflection: Which of the 5 quotes from Lolly Daskal spoke to you the most? What is one of your favorite quotes? Do a search on quote websites and choose a thoughtful quote for your day.

Waiting to Read My Dream Booklist

From time to time I have mentioned one struggle with working on my Ph.D. in psychology while balancing work and family. It is that my reading focuses in on my research and classes leaving little time for enjoyment reading. I do enjoy my research reading as most of it relates to Dr. Csikszentmihalyi’s flow theory that I am passionate about. My problem is there are so many other books on other topics I would love to read but just do not have the time. That is where in my side reading of books about reading I found in the library a title, relevant and interesting to my present life. The book is So Many Books, So Little Time: A Year of Passionate Reading. It is written by Sara Nelson. I found out through Wikipedia that she is currently editorial director for Amazon books. She has a rich history in the book industry as a former editor of Publisher’s Weekly and editor for the book section of Oprah’s Magazine. She obviously is a person with a passion for books and reading.

Her book was a quick read for me that I could fit in between my studies and breaks between clients in my counseling practice. So Many Books, So Little Time is about her attempt to read a book a week over a span of a year. It reminded me of a professor I had when I was working on my Master of Divinity in the Chicago Area. He encouraged us to read a book a week outside of our studies. I liked the idea but with my work schedule and classes I hardly ever did it.

Sara Nelson’s book opened my mind to make a commitment to work on the books I have been missing during my doctoral work. After my dissertation is finished one of my main commitments will be to try to read a book a week for a year. Of course I still have some months before I can even start that stage but the important thing is that reading this book refocused my mind on looking forward to reading throughout a year. I easily have 50 books on my Dream Booklist.

The enjoyment in reading this book was that it wasn’t just a summary of the books she had read. Instead she brings the reader into her life throughout the year of balancing her professional life, her family life and her reading life. For a passionate reader there are tips on selecting books and insights into the publishing industry that add interest to the book.
One of many standout thoughts in the book came at page 84, “Life is what happens when you are making other plans, John Lennon once wrote. Put another way: Any writer who is honest will tell you that she usually comes up with her best lines or her important transitional paragraph not when she’s sitting in front of the computer, watching the clock, or using the word count mechanism in her word processing program, but when she is stepping into the shower, making dinner, or cleaning the cat litter. Getting lost in a book is the same way; try to force yourself to get engaged with something and you probably won’t. But take your time and have patience, and you’ll slide almost unknowingly into the right thing.” This reminded me of Dr. Krumboltz’s thoughts on happenstance. With reading it relates as well, to moving into flow in reading. It happens with the right material that the reader finds interesting and is challenged in reading through the material.

If you are a Bookhead who enjoys reading you may want to see if your local library has So Many Books, So Little Time by Sara Nelson. The book will encourage you in your love of reading and challenge you to keep reading a priority. She also shows that readers can have a life as well. They are not stuck in their favorite reading chair all the time 24/7.

Reflection: Some of the books Sara read were re-reading of books. Are there any particular books you have read in the past that you want to read over again? What are some books you would want to read if you made a passionate reading commitment for the next year?

My Life In Relation To Living More Than OK

Several times in the past I have been asked what has my career as a licensed professional counselor taught me about life and my concept of “Living More Than OK”? I want to answer that question from the context of my overall career journey. So this week I will focus on my career journey then show how it connects to “Living More Than OK”.

Starting Point Library

Photo credit: JanneM / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

My first job was in my high school years in my hometown at Barberton Public Library. Of course, that was part-time and being a book head, being around books is what made that job enjoyable for me by nature. I could not have asked for a better first job experience of working with friendly people and being around books.

After high school, but before moving to Chicago for my Bachelor degree at Moody Bible Institute, I worked for a year at a company that made sample books for carpet companies as a shipping and receiving clerk. That was a 40-hour grind, but the people were wonderful to work with and the management was friendly. On that job, I did observe what I mention in my book -- the living for the weekend mentality. Through my observations it was for many of the workers, dealing with a boring work life and waiting for a short respite of entertainment on the weekend. Primarily, I saw how the bar scene created a self-inflicted cycle of living paycheck to paycheck for many people.

Chicago and Career Change

Photo credit: Foter / CC BY-SA

I am a firm believer in considering careers, of Dr. Krumboltz’s Happenstance theory and Dr. Jim Bright’s Chaos theory of careers. I left Ohio and went to Chicago for college study; thinking and planning to go into Protestant church work. I finished in Chicago a Bachelor and a Master degree that related to religious work. Even though with my Master of Divinity at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School I began a serious interest in Counseling.

Then life events occurred to create a shift, as Dr. Bright calls them. I found myself in customer service work at a variety of companies in the Chicago area. This allowed me to see the same life pattern I had seen in the Ohio company. The pattern of people living merely for a little fleeting happiness on the weekends. I always had wondered -- is the life of work, TV, and bars and clubs on the weekends the only reason we were created? Customer service is considered a mundane job of being in a cubicle on the phone and computer all day. Again, years doing that made me think that yes, it can be mundane, if that is your mindset, but all work can have intrinsic meaning and purpose. My longest position was with a textbook publishing company. Maybe working at a textbook company, some may think that is boring, but that company was helping to improve education. So there was meaning in being connected to such a company that was improving minds of customers around the world.

Further Career Change in Texas

In my final couple of years in Chicago I met my wife and we moved to Texas to allow her to follow her career journey. For me the move to Texas was where I was able to connect with my first job of helping college students in a Student Success department of Texas State Technical College in Harlingen, Texas. This was a job that I truly felt a passion for as it connected with my desire to counsel and encourage students in their career dream journeys. This position was an impetus to go on for a second Master degree this time in Counseling. At this point, I found myself being shaped by theories, such as, Dr. William Glasser’s Choice Theory that emphasizes the making of quality choices, which is one theory basis of my “Living More Than OK” thinking. Another style of Counseling theory, which is termed Solution-Focused, became important to me as it is very positive and goal oriented, which also in my book is a theme that runs throughout the thinking in it.

With a family move from deep South Texas to New Braunfels, Texas I continue to work with college students as an Adjunct Professor and I also do Counseling and Coaching. My continued work in higher education is one factor that has moved me to be working on a PhD in Psychology through Capella University. My studies there has reaffirmed my passion for Positive Psychology. My future dissertation will have some connection to the subject in a practical manner for people to live better lives.

So what does this chaotic, happenstance journey mean? A thread I have seen through my work life is that too many simply live as Henry David Thoreau stated, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” Through jobs that allowed me to observe that, those jobs helped to shape my passion with college students to inspire them to live out their song.

Of course my book’s compilation of essays is also an attempt to challenge on a larger scale more people to move beyond desperation and sing out the song inside them.

Reflection: What have you learned from your career journey over the years? Is your job just a job? Consider the meaning that can be found in your work by considering the big picture of how you help people, or the service or products your company provides to help people have a better life.

Writing New Pages In The Book Of Your Life

At the recent Texas Counseling Association conference, in my presentation evaluation form , I asked attendees to share positive uplifting songs. My purpose, I told them was to pool among them a variety of positive songs that I could then email them for use with their clients and their own personal lives. As you know, I believe that music has power as a medium. A power for good or bad. My emphasis is to accentuate the positive music. They offered a wide variety of songs from various artists and styles of music. One that caught my attention is “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield.

I wasn’t aware of her as an artist and thought I had never heard the song. Once I listened to it on Youtube, I realized I had heard it but never paid attention to the message. As usual take a few minutes to listen to the song by clicking on the song title. I came across an extremely creative video that touches on the message of the song.

"Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield (click on the title to hear the song)

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you, Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance , So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions, Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you, Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else, Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken, Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins,
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you, Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance, So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions, Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you, Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else, Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken, Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin, No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in, No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips, Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open, Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Staring at the blank page before you, Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance, So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions, Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you, Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else, Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken, Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin, No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in, No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips, Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open, Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, The rest is still unwritten, The rest is still unwritten

The first thought that hit me is that each new day we face is a blank page in the story of our lives. We may have some outline notes laying around if it is a day where we have something planned. Yet if we are honest much of what happens is unplanned. As we look into the future, years ahead and the end of our story; we do not know exactly what will be. We often find ourselves thinking of the future as the line says, “Reaching for something in the distance”. So we are constantly creating new pages in our book as we write with the pen of our daily living.

The song makes me think of Dr. John Krumboltz’s happenstance theory that speaks to the point that we need to be open to what life brings to us. The phrase “Live your life with arms wide open” points for me to be open to the possibilities that God brings my way. We need to be active in our lives as well, as Natasha reminds us to “Feel the rain on our skin”. We need to be involved actively in life as no one else can live life for us. Be open to trying new things which in turn can open up more possibilities. Thinking of the creativity of the video we see a book that was not satisfied to stay on the shelf but climbs to venture outside. I am very much of a traditionalist admittedly. The song though made me wonder can we become stuck behind dirty windows and settle that a drab ok life as this is all there is? Maybe it is better to open up and “Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find”. Move into the sunshine and try new experiences for new pages of our book.

The word, “drenching” to me is to allow full absorption in the new happenstance events, because that helps in the new creation of each day. This allows for full understanding so I can then “speak the words” on my lips to continue to write new portions of the narrative of my life story. Then as I close off a day I can sleep with anticipation for the next new page in my book the next day “The rest is still unwritten, The rest is still unwritten, The rest is still unwritten”.

Reflection: At the end of the day do you look forward to new opportunities in your next day as a blank page in the story of your life? As we near the end of this year look back at your life story for this year. What have been highlights in your story?

The God Behind Coincidences

Have you ever had the experience where you find yourself saying, “My what a coincidence we meet as I was just thinking of you yesterday.” Or you take a new direction in your life and after the fact you remember you chose the direction based on a detail that occurred outside of your control. We think of those events as coincidence or happenstance. What a coincidence. Recently I heard on the Mike Huckabee show an interview with a man named Squire Rushnell. My mind perked up when he started talking about his new book Divine Alignments and God winks -- a new way to look at coincidences in our lives.

After hearing him I saw in a bookstore a book he mentioned and other books he had written. The one that caught my attention was When God Winks. I picked it up and it is a short book so it did not take long to read. The information reminded me of Dr. John Krumboltz’s book Luck Is No Accident, which considers our choices in response to happenstances that come into our life experiences. We all have coincidences that pop into our life and the key is how we respond.

At the beginning of his book he lists definitions of key terms. Coincidence “is a sequence of events that although accidental seems to have been planned or arranged”, from the American Heritage Dictionary. A Wink “is to give a signal or express a message”. He took that definition from the American Heritage Dictionary. So he created the term God Wink stating that it is a “personal signal or message, directly from a higher power, usually, but not always, in the form of a coincidence” . In the book the author poses a sensible question in that if the term coincidence has a sense of the event being planned or arranged then who does the planning. He states that most people respond that God does the arranging. It is not a proof that there is a God but it makes sense that considering the probabilities of some of the things that happen to us there is some sort of a God guiding our life events.

The book looks at a variety of examples of God Winks in various life situations. Squire Rushnell also shows how we can react to the God Winks. We should not just float along the river of life letting life happenstance events affect us. Life is not to be lived passively as that turns us into victims of fate. Instead with the coincidences or as Mr. Rushnell calls them God Winks, we make a choice to respond actively to these life events. After the choice is made we receive the consequence of our response. That consequence can be either good or bad based on whether we critically thought through our response or just impulsively responded.

The author gives us a series of questions to explore and discover the God Winks that are in our lives. Here are just a few of the questions listed to help you start exploring your God Winks:
1. Did something surprising happen to you in your past?
2. Did some new person come into your life?
3. Did you experience a death of someone close to you? Did this open up a new path for you?
4. What is the biggest break you have ever received in your career journey?
5. Did you have a rebirth in a spiritual manner or in another manner such as giving up drugs or alcohol?

His reminder to think through questions reminded me of Dr. Tal Ben Shahar’s lectures on Positive Psychology where Dr. Shahar mentioned our questions we ask ourselves can help us create new realities for our daily lives. Those questions can help in exploring the various God Winks that have affected us and then we can look deeper into them and think through the choices we made in response. In exploring God Winks in my life the most of them that I have clearly noticed have often been in church worship times where the minister is preaching and I have this feeling like, “ how did he know that about me? That is just what I needed to hear.” I am not paranoid at those times but thinking about it those points in the Pastor's message may be a God Wink reminding me what I need to work on from the message. Another God wink that comes to mind is from my career positions that have focused on helping students in their career portion of their lives relates to a Professor at UTB in Brownsville I had as a student. I had professor for Career Counseling that encouraged us to be involved with Professional Associations. So I became involved with the National Career Development Association as a student and the state association in Texas. I would not have joined that association if I had not had that Professor. I believe this also helped me see the importance of career in people’s lives. What it just chance I had a Professor that encouraged such activities? I do not think so.

When God Winks is a book that acts as a helpful reflective exercise to help us be more aware of what is going on in our lives. The more we see God work in our lives the more our lives can make sense out of happenstance items that drop into our life journey. This awareness can help us in understanding our purpose in a deeper fashion as well. You may want to look further into the author’s ideas by looking at his facts page of his website -- http://www.whengodwinks.com/faqs/

Reflection: Try to remember and write down three God Winks in your life. Ponder over them and write down how these affected your life at the time and events further along your life journey.

Happenstance, Choices and Our Career Journey

With the course for freshman college students I teach at a local college, a major ending project is looking at their career choice. I try to let them know that many things in life shape our career journey. It is not just taking a career test and out pops the perfect career. Also for most of them right out of High School, I let them know that they are looking at an initial starting point for their career journey. They will find themselves expanding into other areas in the future.

Recently, I was on one my favorite websites www.naturalhigh.org and on their online tv link watched a video of Josh Landan. Take a few minutes and watch it here www.naturalhigh.tv/ They have several videos but presently Josh’s is the first one.

I showed this to my college students this semester as it starts off showing his initial passion at 18 to be a videographer. His passion can be picked up in the comment that he came across as a stalker. Also the manner he speaks and the light in his eyes you can see his love for filming. I love seeing people following their passion be it in their vocation or avocation. A passion gives us purpose and meaning as well as enjoyment in life. So I encourage people to seek out an area they are passionate about. Especially students I work with I try to encourage them to find a passion to tap into.

Listening to Josh I also see Dr. Krumboltz’s, concept of Happenstance as well, (I have spoken of his concept of happenstance and creating our own luck in the past). Josh had a surfing videographer he looked up to in Taylor Steele. At one point in his life he had a chance to meet him. With that chance, he took the risk of a choice to see if he could work with him. It worked out that he could work with Taylor Steele, and from the flow of his story it was a positive turning point. This turning point opened up his growth in filming as a career.

His filming progressed and he tells us of awards and success in his area of passion. Then at another juncture it is suggested that he try out managing athletes so he progresses on in his career journey to manage athletes. By then he is also directing films as well. From a career point of view he has opened up to greater levels than where he first began. Did he know this would happen when he was an 18 year old, stalking surfers with his camera? I am sure he would say no.

In the end he speaks to his wise choice to stay away from drug use. He mentions that this choice affected his career success. His type of work is more freelance in nature so he is self employed. He clearly states that if he went the drug route his life would have been wasted. You can’t run a successful business when drugs or alcohol are in control of your life. He could have chosen to follow peer pressure of drug use in his local area of Ventura, California. We see he did not make that choice. He chose to follow his passion and look for natural highs in his life.

Reflection: Journal how Josh’s video affected you. Did it remind you of important choices you have made in your career journey? Think over those happenstance items in your life that forced a choice in your career life and life in general.

Looking At Life As A Road . . .

This past weekend my family and I were visiting Austin, Texas for the weekend. The Hill Country area of Texas is one of our favorite locations. The highlight of the trip was a Keiko Matsui concert at the One World Theater. About the One World Theater -- if you are in Austin check out this concert venue. The outside has the rustic Hill Country feel to it. Then inside the seating has a casual jazz club feel to the atmosphere. They offer pre-concert dinner packages so a couple or a group of friends can have a full enjoyable evening at their concert venue. Their website is www.oneworldtheatre.org . We did not partake in the dinner package as we were traveling such a distance and busy during the day we weren’t sure we could make dinner there in time.

Moving on to the actual concert, Keiko was showcasing her new CD, The Road… as well as playing some songs from previous recordings. We were looking forward to the concert as it has been over 10 years since my wife and I had heard her live in Chicago. This was also the first time our daughter had heard her live. Keiko did not disappoint our anticipation. She was energetic as always and exuded positive energy in her performing. Her new songs showed her continual growth in creativity. There were new styles mixed in with the familiar styles of her older work. That is what lifelong learning is all about -- continual growth and stretching to create the new. I found a couple of new songs from her CD already posted on YouTube. Check out the song Awakening by clicking on the title and you can enjoy the song. You will like the song so much you will want to purchase her CD at your local music retailer.

The concert was refreshing. Even though I had been sick that week the time in her concert strengthened my body and mind as I mindfully enjoyed listening to her music. She has a knack for having a great band to work with. Each of the players enjoyed what they were playing and are talented musicians each in their own right. I always enjoy a keyboard player who becomes absorbed into their instrument as I can tell the artist is experiencing flow and bringing out the best performance as possible. Keiko is like this and it makes watching and listening to her artistry captivating.

In one of the few times she spoke during the concert she touched on a concept that I want to share with you to ponder and savor in your thinking. She shared that in compiling the CD she was doing personal reflection on her life journey – something I encourage often on this blog. She titled the CD The Road. . . as each of our lives are like a road. Each one of us have a uniquely different road to travel with varying twists and turns. Our roads are made up of our relationships, environments, cultures, belief systems. The most important point she stated was that the true title of the CD focuses on the “Dot, Dot, Dot” as she emphasized the three consecutive periods after the word ”Road”. These simple dots stand for the simple reality that each day of our life our personal Road keeps going on. As with Dr. Krumboltz’s Happenstance theory and Dr. Bright’s Chaos theory, we do not know for sure what is around the bend or over the hill in our Road. But still we travel on. We travel on with positive anticipation for good ahead. Personally for me that is where my faith in God is often the strongest in knowing that He knows what is around each bend. Her sharing her heartfelt thoughts behind the CD helped me in my own personal reflection during the concert and allowed me to enjoy the experience of the concert on a deeper level. If you ever have the opportunity to hear Keiko in concert definitely take that opportunity on your road trip through life.

Reflection:

Take some quiet time with a piece of 8 ½ x11 paper and a pen. Draw a curvy road from the bottom corner to the opposite top corner. Divide the road in 10 year increments going a couple of increments past your present age. Jot down above and below the road key aspects of life that happened to you on that portion of the road. As for the 10 years beyond your present age jot down some dreams you would like to do in the next 10 to 20 years.

The Career Journey: Openness to Happenstance and God Moments

On our career journey, I mentioned earlier that career assessments can open up career possibilities for individuals to think over. Another aspect to look at in our career journey is happenstance in our lives. These are the chance events that pop into our lives. These events have an effect in our careers and life in general. Some consider happenstance as luck or circumstances. Coming at life from my Christian worldview, I see a Creator God guiding life rather than random chance so I view happenstance occurrences as God moments. His special intervention in our lives.

I count it a privilege to have attended a few years ago a training by Dr. John Krumboltz and Dr. Al Levin about Happenstance which was based on their book Luck Is No Accident. I appreciated their thinking that Career Counselors need to have a whole life focus instead of just looking at finding life fulfillment in just a career. Events that come into our lives shape the direction we move in career and our overall life journey. I highly recommend this book if you are exploring career and life fulfillment. Their thoughts helped me to view our life journey as the Beatles song says The Long and Winding Road instead of a straight direct line.

As I read through their book and considered their Happenstance Learning Theory I applied it to my career life journey. What we think we will do in our high school years can vary widely as we react to life events. Drs. Krumboltz and Levin point out that our careers and lives are not a result of just pure chance happenstance. It is the choices we make in response to those events. That is an important factor to consider. As I look at my life, I see turning points of happenstance in the timeline of my life.

For example in my junior high school years in Ohio, I had a high respect for the pastor at my local church. Having grown up in a single parent home I looked up to him as a role model. So in High School I decided I would go to Bible College and be a pastor of a church. Then in my senior year a new pastor took charge who was a real jerk, was abusive to people, and had an affair with the secretary of the church so I became disillusioned. In my disillusionment I looked at my high school career test results. The results listed careers of minister but also engineering. So in my disillusionment I chose engineering. During the first year of college I realized by working with a career counselor I had deeper Social leanings in my career choices and I should not let one poor example of a pastor disturb my move in that direction. So I moved first back home and worked a while at a factory to sort out where to go to school. I selected a Bible College in Chicago where a couple of my friends attended.

After my Bachelors degree in Bible at Moody Bible Institute I went on for a Master of Divinity degree at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School also in the Chicago area. By then I had an interest in Counseling so I took that emphasis in my degree. You would think I would then move into a religious ministry position but that did not happen. Some life events occurred to move me into a job with a Publishing company in the Chicago Suburbs. It was a lower level position keeping track of returned books from bookstores and schools. Being a booklover I thought this may be an opportunity to move into the publishing world. I noticed in my work there, in my small office at the back of the building, workers from various departments would stop by and many would vent their frustrations concerning their lives to me. Especially after a few years as the company was bought out by another company; stress levels rose at work so even higher level managers would come by and they would apologize for “venting”. I would reply “don’t worry everyone does – I’m the company shrink back here”.

At this time I was also doing volunteer work with a Korean minister who was working with college students from different cultural backgrounds. I found I enjoyed tutoring and counseling the students on their life plans. As the publishing company spiraled out of control from the corporate buyout; and I had two deaths in my family, my mother and oldest brother -- I moved into a customer service job at a local suburban corporation. For the next two years I worked customer service in phone order departments. Definitely not my dream job of high school days but it paid the bills. During that time I kept volunteering with the Korean minister as I enjoyed helping the college students. This is when I met my future wife, Susie at one of his meetings. After a year of having met her, she needed to move from Chicago, IL to Texas to pursue her Pharmacy career

As she moved to Texas I had a decision to make -- do I follow her to Texas or just stay in Chicago? Continuing to think about Happenstance or God Moments, (in my high school days I would never have envisioned this choice). I had no desire ever to move to Texas as I did not care for cowboys or the Wild West. Some of my friends echoed that thinking. Other friends of mine told me to look at my life. If I really loved Sook , (as Susie is known in Chicago), I would take the risk and move to Brownsville. It was also pointed out to me that I really did not enjoy my work in Customer Service. So I took the risk and moved.

My move was to Brownsville, TX the southernmost tip of Texas. I landed work in Real Estate while I looked for other types of work as well. With my lack of Spanish skills it was difficult to find other work. I thought back to my volunteer work with college students in Chicago and thought working at a university would be fulfilling. I eventually landed a job as a Student Success Advisor at a Technical College in the area. By then I had married Susie and she encouraged me to go back to school, as I had always wanted to finish a Masters in Counseling. I finished that degree at the University of Texas at Brownsville. After working 5 years at the College, a Career Counseling position opened at UTB so I applied and got the job. This is a job that I am thankful for being a part in opening students’ minds to their possibilities for their futures. But it is miles apart from what I thought I would be doing when I graduated from High School.

As I look over my life and think of the Happenstance Theory I see the life events that I had not planned nor envisioned in my high school life: living in Chicago, working at a Publisher where co-workers would turn to me for their “Venting”, my mother and brother’s death, the stress of the company spinning out of control , meeting the Korean minister through a musician friend where I gained a passion for working with University students, meeting my wife at a Korean church, moving to Texas. All events I did not plan on, but the choices I made concerning them helped shape the present I am enjoying now. Some events were stressful others joyful but looking back I can see them as God Moments, of molding events in my life and career journey.

Take time to look back over your life journey. What are the unplanned events that entered your life to bring you where you are today? Take some time to write your life journey down and reflect over the choices you made in the various turning points in your life. Be thankful for your life journey.