Good Exhaustion and Flow

I came back yesterday from Chicago where I attended a PhD Colloquial with Capella University. Since the lion share of the course work for my psychology program is online I had been looking forward to meeting face to face with some of my fellow students. The experience was very intense study in formulating and narrowing down a topic for my future dissertation. I came back to Texas very tired and exhausted. As I thought about my exhaustion I felt it was a good exhaustion.

I call it a good exhaustion as it came out of a time of creatively thinking through a dissertation topic that had meaning to me. It was good as well from critically listening to the sharing by those in my general psychology cohort. I loved hearing my fellow classmates’ passion for their topics. The topics were varied touching on topics such as helps for public school students, drug abuse issues and chronic pain, fire fighter families, problems with social media and new tools for psychotherapists to use in treating clients. I could see how each person’s passion for their topic tied into their life story. That is one tip I encourage college students with. When they do a project try to find an angle to the project that taps into their interests and passion. It allows the student to have more motivation for the project and become personally absorbed into the project.

My dissertation topic will be focusing in on a topic I have mentioned in the past that of Flow which was first researched and termed by Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Since I have been emphasizing reading this Summer I will mention one book of his that I re-read this Summer, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. I like the thought of Optimal Experience Dr. Csikszentmihalyi emphasizes in the book. It is living our lives to the full level of happiness which is what I am trying to get at with Living More Than OK. We are meant to live for more than just existing.

As I have mentioned before Flow is the deep concentration and pleasure one experiences when absorbed in an activity they enjoy where they have a competent level of skill. The examples that always come into my mind is seeing a painter absorbed in painting. They may have people walking by them on the beach as they paint the ocean view but they are not distracted as their focus is on the subject of the painting. My flow activities are reading, music, prayer and exercise. The whole concept I feel relates to natural highs that I promote from the website naturalhigh.org.

Dr. Csikszentmihalyi’s in his researching of Flow reveals in the book eight aspects of Flow that are important in reminding us the importance to incorporate Flow activities in our person lives. One is where we do activities that we have an inner confidence we can do them. Second is that we can focus in and concentrate on the activity. Three is where we mentally establish clear goals for the activity. Fourth is where we can gain immediate feedback from self or others. Fifth is that it is an activity that we absorb ourselves in and not worry about what is going on around us. Sixth is when we do enjoyable activities we use personal control in doing the activity. Seventh is a paradox of losing the sense of self while doing the activity yet we feel more positive about ourselves after doing the activity. Then the eighth and last aspect is that our perception of the sense of time is altered. The activity is not boring so we lose track of time. Think of when you have done something where you say, “I could do this for hours!” (page 48).

If you think of the eight aspects of Flow you can see how they add to living life abundantly and to the full. Having read through the writings of Dr. Csikszentmihalyi it reminds me of a former Professor I had who spoke of the “Power of One”. Meaning that one person can have a large impact on the world. Dr. Csikszentmihalyi’s years of work and research on Flow have added so much to humanity in reminding us of the need to break away from passive existence. Examples of passive existence is wasting too much of our time on passively watching television or mindless videos on the internet. His work is an encouragement to actively seek out Flow activities that add meaning to our living and expand our minds and skills.

Reflection: What are your Flow activities? Do you take time to make time in your schedule during the week for activities you enjoy?

Building Christmas Memories

One way to counter stress during the Holiday Season is to build memories from the different activities you do through the time period. It can be family traditions or new holiday activities you try out. Keep a mindset of enjoying the Christmas Season instead of worrying over whether everything will be picture perfect. The Holiday issues of magazine Christmas scenes are perfect because they have a full film crew to make the scene perfect. So unless you have the money to hire a complete decorating crew don’t stress out if something winds up out of place.

We experienced a new Christmas activity at the middle of December when we enjoyed a jazz concert called The Gospel According to Jazz Christmas with Kirk Whalum, Keiko Matsui and Amber Bullock at Austin’s One World Theater. We went because of
Keiko Matsui, our favorite jazz pianist. She is so magical at the keyboards so I thought who better to hear doing Christmas music. We had never heard Kirk Whalum and I was surprised to hear he was the Sax player for Whitney Houston. He is an amazing saxophonist, but more so his sincere Christian faith came across to make the Christmas carols so much more from the heart and felt real. The best part of the concert for me was a rousing jazz rendition of Do You Hear What I Hear, where Kirk directed the audience singing in parts while the band jammed in the background. Having a music background it was funny hearing some of the audience who could not pick up on the syncopation. Kirk Whalum mentioned this was the first time for this concert series so they would be back in Austin next year. This is definitely a Christmas concert we will want to repeat next year.

On the concert front, we also attended the Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s concert of The Lost Christmas Eve in San Antonio’s AT & T center. We had experienced them last Christmas and were so amazed at their musical artistry we wanted to hear them again. Even though most of the music was familiar just hearing the talented musicians and the compelling story of the Miracle of Hope and Change in the lives of people at Christmas was well worth hearing them again. I also appreciated hearing how wherever the troupe goes they donate some of the proceeds of their concert to a local charity.
Another important activity this Christmas was a Christmas program sponsored by a group my wife has been involved with this Fall. They are a group of Christians that work with youth in a nearby low income project neighborhood. They tutor the children, play games and teach Bible stories to them one night a week. They had the children do a program for their parents about the true meaning of Christmas -- the Bible’s Christmas story. Each child who came received a decorated shoe box filled with small toys and goodies. It was a wonderful feeling to see the children who do not have much appreciate their Christmas boxes and they put on a simple and clear presentation of the Bible story of Christ’s birth.

As I write this we are looking forward to our Church’s Candlelight Christmas Eve service this evening. That is always a time to reflect and build new memories of what Christmas means to me. There are numerous other ways to build Christmas memories for some it is baking cookies to give to others, (and of course do taste testing as they come out of the oven). Sending out Christmas letters it a warm way to connect with family and friends once a year, ( and I mean an actual old fashioned letter not a short tweet). Other activities are to look for local school and church Christmas concerts to enjoy the music of the Season. I am not a big shopper but I know that is something some people just love -- being out in the hustle and bustle of the stores trying to find the best buy. Other people enjoy watching their favorite Christmas movies every Christmas as a tradition. I remember when my mother was still living and I would be home from Chicago to visit her in Ohio, one of her favorite activities was to have me drive her around to look at Christmas lights.

The key is find those Holiday activities you enjoy and when you are feeling the stress; de-stress by switching over to the activities you enjoy. Enjoying the Christmas season and building memories for the future is more important and rewarding than being stressed over everything having to be perfect.

Reflection: List your three favorite Holiday activities. Is there anything new this year you enjoyed that is a new memory for this year’s Christmas Season? Write about it in your journal.