Positive Psychology and Kindness in Montreal

Last week my wife and I enjoyed a mini-vacation in Montreal Canada. My primary purpose was to enjoy learning at the International Positive Psychology World Congress. I was thankful for the opportunity to share in a roundtable discussion time my dissertation research on flow activities and at-risk college students. My wife’s main purpose was to rest and relax from her work. The IPPA congress provided a wide range of topics on how to help people flourish in their life journey and how to help individuals focus in on well-being. These are topics that I focus on in my book, Living More Than OK. It was my first time to attend one of their World Congress’s.

This week’s post I will share just a few points that meant much to me from the congress. Several of the initial speakers I listened to spoke of the research that shows the importance of acts of kindness for our well-being. An important happenstance event happened the second day to illuminate what I had heard. My wife and I in the afternoon planned to take the metro train to Montreal’s Botanical garden. We went to the Metro station near our hotel and bought tickets. As we went to the turnstile my wife went through without a hitch. I went through then and the metal bar would not move. We tried the ticket several times. Several people passed by and then a man our age came over and asked in a thick French Canadian accent what was wrong. We explained the situation and he tried that ticket as well. He then told my wife to go down to the train platform and wait for me. He then told me to follow him. We walked down a separate stairwell and he took me to another entry point in the same station where there was a worker in the ticket booth. He explained in French what had happened to my wife and I, visitors from the US. The agent apologized for our inconvenience and let me through and I reconnected with my wife. I thanked the gentleman for his help and he went his way.

The other pictures here are from the Botanical Garden green houses. It was a rainy afternoon but their Garden had the best greenhouses we had ever experienced. Looking back at the event the man’s act of kindness was a true life example of what I had heard from several of the initial speakers at the conference. That kindness towards others is helpful in a meaningful way to all parties in the experience. The man did not have to stop as he could have acted, just as others, who had passed us by. Instead he went out of his way to take me to a ticket agent, who could help with my ticket problem and explain our problem in French. We were thankful to find people like that in Montreal.

Back to other meaningful learning points from the IPPA Congress. One of the more enjoyable sessions was a presenter in one of the round table sessions I attended. There were two presenters at the table and both did admirable jobs on their research presentations. The one I preferred was Annie Norman, who is the State Librarian for the State of Delaware. She was sharing about her state library’s research on the study of lifelong learning of readers in their libraries through a tracking system they have created. They provide useful journals that patrons can use to reflect on their reading. Since, I emphasize being a Bookhead in my book, Living More Than OK, when I saw her presentation listed on-line I could not pass it up. Being an avid supporter of libraries and reading programs I could not pass up her presentation. Her information did not disappoint. It was wonderful to hear from a librarian who understands how the services of libraries can inculcate human flourishing in the lives of the communities they serve.

My favorite session of the ones I attended was Saturday listening to Drs. Steger of Colorado State University & Russo-Netzer of University of Haifa, Israel, speak to the issue of purpose and meaning in their session, “More Than Skin Deep”. They pointed out the reality too often people are busy being busy or live in a survival mode instead of being truly alive. This connected with me, since I emphasize to people to move beyond being just OK to be Living More Than OK.

Their focus from what I picked up focuses in on being mindfully aware of searching and finding meaning in your life. This reminded me of Dr. Seligman of University of Pennsylvania in his keynote discussion where he shared research on the importance of meaning in having a flourishing life. I appreciated their emphasizing being intentional in your life as too many clients I have helped are too often just running on a negative autopilot through life and not being intentional about the choices they make in life. I see this in college students I work with as well. Another important point was encouraging us to take reflection time to visualize and draw out an icon or poster in response to the question “Know your Why?”. We add significance to our lives when we take time to understand the why force in our lives. The presenters made good use of group interaction even though it was a packed room.

Another important point they brought to light was in a discussion to the question “What is being fully alive?”. They helped with the myth on positive psychology that it is about being happy all the time. Some of our life highlights that lead to learning are not always happy. My parents’ deaths were not happy, my job loss in Chicago was not happy, other struggles on my journey have not been happy but finding the meaning in the 20/20 of hindsight adds to the meaning of life.

It was a great vacation to see the beautiful city of Montreal and for my wife to have a much needed break from her work. The congress time also added more lifelong learning to my life experience.

Reflection: What does being “fully alive” mean to you? Take a day sometime just to think through and reflect on “knowing your Why” – draw of a poster or icon about it.

Calling and an Elevator Operator

An important element to our work life is connecting with the Calling aspect of our work life. Often Calling is misunderstood as being only for spiritual related careers as a person is Called to be a minister or missionary. I view Calling as that which makes our work meaningful. The areas of our work that brings the inner satisfaction as we look back upon a workday knowing we made a difference. A website that I enjoy reading and listening to the podcasts concerning the topic of life/work calling is www.thehighcalling.org .
The website presents stories and articles about the importance of our work. We spend a significant portion of our lives doing this thing called work. From the stories on the website I have found a deeper appreciation in how to look at my work settings from a Callings angle. It helps in exploring new ways to create meaning in the workplace.

I want to share one of the stories presented on the website by Howard Butt Jr. about an elevator operator, Bruce Renfroe, in New York City. The links to the highcalling video and a more in-depth Guideposts article about the man can be found below after the reflection.

Mr. Renfroe was a cleaner in the Metro system and enjoyed his work but after a stroke he could not return to his work. He was then transferred to be an elevator operator. He shared how he found the job very boring and noticed people in the elevator never spoke. This made me think of my years of living in Chicago. Elevators were always a place where everyone just faced forward with stoic faces and never made a sound. Mr. Renfroe wondered if he could make a difference to these robotic group of emotionless people. He started off by making a joke one day and noticed a passenger laughed. He then put up a poster, and brought in a houseplant. Then he added a small radio playing jazz music and had his Bible on a small table. Those changes in the atmosphere of the elevator started the people talking and enjoying the short ride down to the metro train stop. Some mornings a rider would ask him to read a Bible verse to inspire their workday. Other days a jazz song would be requested. At that point he realized he was enjoying his job again. What started out as ways to perk up his riders’ day was a boost to bringing meaning to what started as a boring job for him. This story touched me as I remember some of the Chicago buildings that would have an elevator operator. It always made the ride better to have a cheerful worker in the elevator. It also shows how Calling can be added into any job.

The story made me think of my work and what aspects of it relate to calling. Where am I making a difference in the world and lives around me? The answer to that question is where we move beyond the mundane of everyday work and move higher up into the calling of our work. In the living more than OK life, work is an area where we need to see how we can spiral up to abundant life even in our job, not just marking time until Friday. I am amazed how the Guideposts article ends about Mr. Renfroe. “Some people say, ‘Thank God it’s Friday because they can’t wait to start their weekend.’ Bruce said, ‘Me? I say Thank God for Monday because that’s the day I go back to work.’”

Reflection: In what ways can you add a sense of calling into your work world? What would our work places be like if we had Mr. Renfroe’s attitude about Monday mornings?


http://www.hudsonsclass.com/Documents/Freshman/Renfroe.pdf article copied from Guideposts

video http://www.thehighcalling.org/video/work/elevator-operator#.Uj-X4oaTidQ

Be Happy While You Work

Every now and then I re-read magazine articles I enjoyed to learn more from them. So this past week I was spending some time with the Harvard Business Review January/February 2012 issue. Their special focus was Happiness with several articles focusing on happiness in the workplace. Usually when you observe people they are happy when they are leaving work not going to work. That is what attracted me to the issue. Two articles that stood out to me were "Creating Sustainable Performance" by Gretchen Spreitzer and Christine Porath and "Positive Intelligence", by Shawn Achor.

Both articles brought to light research metastudies that showed how happier and positive employees are more productive, more creative, and go beyond the call of duty. It makes sense that if you hate your job you have less energy and when asked to go the extra mile “forget it”, is the first thing that comes to mind. I thought of my own work over the years and I would say the jobs I enjoyed the most I put more effort and energy into them.

I want to discuss a few ideas from the articles that can help us improve our happiness levels in our work. The first item I want to share is how Shawn Achor discussed the importance of creating positive habits. New habits that are positive can keep us growing to thrive in our lives. He presented ideas such as to write a positive note to someone in your social network on a regular basis. Also to keep a journal and write down a few minutes each day a meaningful experience from your day or write down three things you are grateful for. Since the focus of this is to increase happiness at work I would suggest to think about meaningful experiences in your workday. Maybe you had a positive experience in solving a problem for a customer. Or jot down how you encouraged a co-worker who was having a difficult day.

One thing that can drag us down is workplace stress. Shawn gave an interesting reminder that stress although we don’t like to experience it, often is the fuel for growth in our lives. He listed how one company he consulted with, he asked the managers to list 5 life experiences that helped shape their lives. All the items they listed were times of stress and struggle. He states, “few people grow on vacation”. So, when we are in the stress of work have a mindset of how can I grow through this experience. He suggests to look at the stressors affecting you and list those that can be controlled and those that can not be controlled. Consider the stress factors that can be controlled and then brainstorm specific ways you can lessen the stress.

Another item that helps with happiness levels is discovering a sense of meaning in your work. Look at your work and see the bigger picture of going beyond just putting in your 8 hour day. How does what you do touch others lives? How are you adding value to the world around you in your work? Life long learning relates to this. What new things can you learn to grow in your job position to improve how you serve customers or help your fellow co-workers? As we learn and grow we can find deeper levels of meaning in our work to appreciate and enjoy our work on new levels.
As I have mentioned in the past we spend much of our time in this thing called work so doesn’t it make sense to be happy in it rather than carry a sense of dread about it. Some of the research in the articles show that the benefits of being happy at work carries over to happiness outside of work. If we are happier in our work we do not carry home the burden of stress and anger that is then often displaced on those living with us, or the household pet having to run and hide.

Reflection – Think over your work life then list a few things you are thankful for about your work. Write down a way you can bring new meaning to the work you do. What is your mindset about stress? Look at three turning points of growth in your life. Did they occur out of a time of struggle or a vacation time?