Enjoy Small Towns in the Summer Time

With Summer nearing I began to think of activities to do during this time of year. In the May Texas Monthly magazine they had a section on 13 great getaways in Texas. The focused in on El Paso, Palo Duran Canyon, Dallas and other areas some out of state places near Texas as well. Then in the May issue of San Antonio Magazine they listed 101 fun things to do in Summer in the San Antonio area. From eating, sports, music and museums they showcase ideas for everyone’s taste whether family or individual. There were plenty of ideas just from those two magazines.

Then a few days ago I was talking, (Yes some people still talk on the phone-- I prefer real verbalizing over texting), with an old childhood friend from Ohio and he mentioned for Summer time travels he was going to take his mother around to a few of the small towns in Ohio. Growing up in Ohio his thought reminded me of the many wonderful small towns in Ohio such as Sugarcreek and Coshocton. Texas is a much larger state and it is full of quaint small towns as well so I decided that will be one item on our Summer Dream list to visit a few small towns in Texas this year.

So if you are looking for things to do this Summer check out any state magazines that will give you ideas. As well most urban cities in each state often have a related magazine that lists what to do and see in the metro area as I mentioned in my local bookstore and grocery stores they carry the Texas Monthly and the San Antonio Magazine. Also websites for cities will show activities you can take advantage of in the metro areas. There is no reason to say there is nothing to do as if you search you can find a multitude of things to do. Like I mentioned at the beginning, 101 fun things to do in the San Antonio region from their magazine.

Don’t rule out exploring small towns in your state or a nearby state for a short weekend trip. Often within a state you can turn it into a one day visit if staying overnight in not in your budget. Even staying overnight for a weekend visit is a cost saver over a lengthy long distance vacation. Small towns have a different feel than visiting an urban area. The pace of strolling through a small town is more relaxed. You can enjoy their parks and scenery as a break from the area where you live. To choose a town simply do a search on the internet for visiting small towns in your state. You will see a variety of websites pop up. Look around for the website that gives you the towns and helpful information about the towns. Here are a couple of examples of websites I found for Texas and Ohio:

http://www.texasescapes.com/TOWNS/Texas_towns_A_to_Z.htm

This website gives an alphabetical list of towns in Texas with links to more information on the towns.

http://www.ohiotraveler.com/great-ohio-towns.htm

This website gives a varied list of towns in Ohio and at the bottom of the page you can search by region of Ohio.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/location/il

I lived a number of years in Chicago so I thought I would include a link to sights in Illinois. This website of Roadside America has a search engine so you can search for your state as well.

If you have never traveled through small town America within your state do a little searching on the web or state travel magazines. This may provide a new refreshing angle on how you spend your weekends in the Summer or do a longer within state vacation going from small town to small town.

Enjoy Your Summer!

Reflection: Explore a website on small towns in your state. Read over information on a variety of the towns and pick a few that you would like to visit.

Speak Life in Living More Than OK

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I’ve heard people say, “Words are just words; they don’t mean anything.” It is often said by those shrugging off cutting words that have hurt someone as a way to make excuses for talking in demeaning ways. Words have power. Power to hurt, destroy, bring pain. Also words have power to bring hope, life and joy. Many who struggle with negative self-talk that destroys their inner being learned those negative scripts from dark demeaning words from others towards them when they were young. Over the years they took those negative words to heart and believed them.

We need to understand the words we say can have a powerful effect for bad or for good. I want us to think about the words we say by considering a song by Toby Mac which reminds us of the power of words. Listen to the song and reflect over the words of the lyrics:

Speak Life by Toby Mac (click on the title to hear the song video)

Some days, life feels perfect. Other days it just ain’t workin. The good, the bad, the right, the wrong And everything in between. It’s crazy, amazing We can turn a heart with the words we say. Mountains crumble with every syllable. Hope can live or die

So speak Life, speak Life To the deadest darkest night. Speak life, speak Life. When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why. Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted; Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope, You speak love, you speak... You speak Life,(oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Some days the tongue gets twisted; Other days my thoughts just fall apart. I do, I don’t, I will, I won’t, It’s like I’m drowning in the deep. Well it crazy to imagine, Words from our lips as the arms of compassion, Mountains crumble with every syllable. Hope can live or die.

So speak Life, speak Life. To the deadest darkest night. Speak life, speak Life. When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why. Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted; Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope, You speak love, you speak... You speak Life,(oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Lift your head a little higher, Spread the love like fire, Hope will fall like rain, When you speak life with the words you say. Raise your thoughts a little higher, Use your words to inspire, Joy will fall like rain, When you speak life with the things you say. Lift your head a little higher, Spread the love like fire, Hope will fall like rain, When you speak life with the words you say.
So speak Life, speak Life. To the deadest darkest night. Speak life, speak Life. When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why. Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted; Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope, You speak love, you speak... You speak Life,(oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh) Some days life feels perfect.

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We all face differing environmental factors everyday of our life. We have good days and bad days. Sometimes the bad days are full of darkness. The song makes me think of what kind of words are coming out of me as I face each day whether it is dark or a sunny day? First of all am I speaking life to myself? Am I speaking words that inspire and bring hope? If I am dealing with negative self-talk I need to change the scripts and speak positive life changing. The late Dr. William Glasser spoke of the Quality World we build in our minds. Those are formed by are thoughts which are made up of words. Words then are important driving forces of our choices and behaviors.

Toby Mac is also telling us to move beyond ourselves to consider how our words can bring hope and compassion to those around us. If we are having a bad day know others around us may be in the same boat. As we revive new life into our day with the words we tell ourselves we in turn can help others around us come alive with hope-filled and loving words. As you go through this week think through the power of your words.

Reflection: Consider the words you use during the day. Do your words bring hope and love into your life and the lives of those around you? What is one way you can speak life to someone today?

Personal Healing Found in Reading

There are different reasons to read such as enjoyment, relaxing, and education. A book that has been out for a number of years, Reading to Heal, by Jacqueline Stanley adds to the reasons by showing how reading can help us in overcoming personal problems and inner healing. She rightly points out that bibliotherapy is not for everyone and in various cases should be overseen by a professional counselor.

In her Forward she is open about her love of books from her early childhood. She proceeded to bring out how some of the reading she did was for her personal growth before she ever heard of the word “Bibliotherapy”. As I read the book I assumed she was a professional writer or a librarian or possibly a English professor. I was surprised to find she is an attorney in North Carolina. She has made use of her writing skills in a number of books on legal issues.

I can see how a counselor can gain insight into bibliotherapy by reading over her book suggestions to help their clients. Yet when I look at her overall purpose it is to look at what she calls the art side of bibliotherapy. She wants to help readers to be their own therapists by understanding the positives of reading that can build up and improve their lives. This is seen in her stating the many ways that reading helps us:

Reading builds up a feeling of accomplishment
Reading builds up feelings that you are not alone in your problem
Reading builds up a bulwark against boredom
Reading builds up an outward focus in understanding others
Reading builds up our critical thinking skills to overcome problems
Reading can build up personal self-worth

An important thought about bibliotherapy reading versus reading for mere pleasure, is that bibliotherapy reading is more reflective. For the most part you will be reading the book in short segments to give you time to let the ideas sink in. I have had several people who have read my book, Living More Than OK, state they went through it slowly. That is also why I recommend in my book to make use of a journal or diary in reading through it to write down personal reflection thoughts. Jacqueline Stanley reminds her readers to ask questions as they read through books they are using for bibliotherapy. Writing notes in the book is another helpful idea she provides.

One of the best parts of the book is her reading plan idea. I won’t give it fully away so as to encourage you to find her book at a library or on line and read it yourself. The idea is to start with a short book on a topic and divide the page numbers by 21. For example let’s say you find a book with 200 pages and divide that by 21. You would have a little over 9 pages to read a day. That is very doable. Then in 21 days you have the book read. She gives a wide variety of book suggestions on topics such as Simplify, Chronic Illness, Family Matters, Stress, and other topics. Or simply go to your local public library and use the catalog to search for topics on growth areas you wish to read to improve your life.

Now as we are in Spring and moving towards Summer think of reading as enjoyment of course. Know as well that there is healing and growth to be had in the pages of books. You just need to dedicate a portion of your time each week to reap rewards of personal growth in the areas you desire to grow into for living a more than ok life!

“All that mankind has done, thought, gained or been: it is lying as in magic preservation in the pages of books.” Thomas Carlyle

Reflection -- What is one growth area of your life that you would like to improve through reading? Search online or at your local library for books in that particular growth area.

Savoring Wildflowers in Spring

Over the past month my wife and I have taken several weekend drives throughout different areas of the Texas Hill Country to enjoy the Spring wildflowers. My wife’s favorites are the Texas Bluebonnets. Spring is a refreshing time of year due to the dynamic colors of the flowers breaking out from the drab brown of Winter dormancy of the plants and trees. Recently I have seen a few pictures come up on friends’ Facebook pages of flowers and plants coming alive again up in Ohio and Illinois. They need the refreshing renewal of Spring even more than those of us here in Texas; as they had one of the coldest Winters in a long time. (Makes one wonder about the global warming theorists?? I will leave it at that- think about it).

Flowers call for attention. You can rush by the flowers and miss them and many people do. I feel those who rush by miss out on one of life’s savoring pleasures. On our drives we took country roads around where websites had sightings of bluebonnets. We took our time driving along to spot the flowers and if someone behind was in a hurry we simply pulled off to let them go and kept enjoying our wildflower drive. Where we found open fields of flowers we would stop and take time to meander around in the fields with our cameras taking pictures. The pictures this week come from our flower excursions.

With wildflowers and any flowers there is first of all the big picture enjoyment of gazing at the big picture of the total landscape. Seeing the array of colors mixed with green against the backdrop of the blue skies is an awesome reminder for me personally of the great God artist behind nature. Then I move from the big picture to focusing in on the individual flowers. I am amazed at the intensity of color and the delicate makeup of the flower itself. These close observations make me wonder why is there such a variety of flowers? We went primarily looking for bluebonnets and this year was a great year to find them. At the same time we also enjoyed a variety of yellow, orange, pick and purple flowers along the drive. The variety again drives my mind back to thinking about a Creator God behind the diverse colors and variety of flowers. Of course that thought stems from my belief system. I simply feel the most reasonable explanation for such awesome beauty, complexity and diversity is found in positing a God behind nature. The atheist I guess in their belief, can stand and wonder at the infinitesimal probabilities of random chance chaos popping these flowers into existence out of nothing. So no matter what your belief system is you can still be amazed at the innate beauty of wildflowers in nature.

Taking the time to break out of our busy life to drive around was a relaxing way to de-stress from the stressors of life. We came home rested with a renewed inner joy from seeing the beauty of creation. Maybe you have never taken time to do country drives or going out to nature parks in the Springtime. If you are looking for a new way to break out of the rut of your same old, same old ok life give it a try. Simply check on the internet for parks in your area to visit. Do a search for what wildflowers are natural to your state and area and see where there have seen sightings. Then take a weekend morning or afternoon drive to savor the wildflowers of your areas.

Here are a few websites on wildflowers to explore. The first is the section of the U.S. Forest service website on wildflowers. Then of course being here in Texas I list two websites about wildflowers here in Texas. We live in large diverse country so the Forest Service website showcases information on wildflowers in each geographic area.

U.S. Forest Service - http://www.fs.fed.us/wildflowers

Texas Wild Flowers - http://texas.wildflowersightings.org

Texas Blue Bonnets - http://www.bluebonnetlove.com

Reflection: Do you take time to notice the Springtime flowers? Do you find yourself too busy for that? Maybe that is a sign you are too busy. Slow down and take time to smell the roses and be awed by the natural beauty of the flowers in your local area.

Reading As A Help In Reforming Prisoners

What is the level of change that can occur in lives encouraged to read? I have mentioned before that reading is an enjoyable flow activity and one of my natural highs. Reading is an important way to learn as well. The question I pose comes from reading an amazing book, Finding a Voice: The Practice of Changing Lives Through Literature. The book is co-authored by Jean Trounstine a humanities professor at Middlesex Community College and Robert Waxler, an English Professor at the University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth. It tells the story of a program they started in Massachusetts to use literature reading with prison inmates in the reformation process. They networked with probation officers and judges to help inmates change their lives with reading in a program they call “Changing Lives Through Literature” (CLTL).

The core idea of the program is to harness the transformational power in reading literature by creating book clubs for inmates to attend. A unique aspect of it is that the inmate groups meet and a probation officer and judge are in the groups reading the same book as the inmates. Part of that power in reading is found in personal reflection. The authors point out that “Literature was empowering. Discussion enhanced that power. The process of reading let to reflection. Reflection often led to change.” (p.7). The stories the inmates read allow them to reflect on their own lives. I have spoken with students who had done prison time at colleges I have worked at over the years. One common thread that is sometimes shared especially after I have lectured on critical thinking is that they started having problems because of their impulsivity and lack of reflection in their lives. So the CLTL program awakens that inner reflection that can help the inmate think more critically about their lives.

One judge from Texas, (another state that in parts use the CLTL program), spoke of how reading a book may seem like a small thing for most of us; but for an inmate starting out on his own reading and finishing a book can be a major life tipping point. I liked what the judge had to say about reading: “When you read a book, it slides in to your soul. It gives you a glimmer, a dream of something a little higher. Sometimes the margin of difference is slight. But that small advance can actually be a huge gain. It can make all the difference.” (p.39). Those in prison have lost their voice, their dream. Granted their initial voice was off base getting them in trouble but through a literature program like CLTL they can find a positive voice to rebuild their lives with new dreams.

Of course since the book is about prison inmates it helps to see and to hear their stories of how reading literature was a change agent for them. I will just list two here of many from the book. Some that were touching for me being the Bookhead I am; were a few stories that stated how they had never really read a book before or they never took reading seriously when they were in school. Here are two voices to listen to:

“Manuel, a small time drug dealer, stated that ‘reading opened his mind.’ He felt that he could relate to the character Wolf Larsen in the Sea Wolf. Manuel soon became drug free and a college student.” (p.2)

“A female probationer said about herself while examining Zora Neale Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God -- Like Janie, I don’t want to be anyone’s slave or servant, nor do I want to be someone who’s just around for convenience. I want to be treated as an equal. I’ve had too many experiences where guys want you for your money, car, sex and only treat you nicely when you’re providing them with those things. As Janie did, there are two things everyone has to do for themselves, and that’s to go to God and find out about living on their own.” (p.57).

I see an opening of the mind as well in the female probationer’s voice. Through a character in a story she has come to understand she has to make choices for herself in living her life and going to God in her life. For me that connects with the previous Judge’s thought on how reading books “slide into our souls” as they can make internal changes if we are open minded as Manuel states.

The CLTL program is a program that should be encouraged in more criminal justice programs. It seems very cost effective as it is just correctional officials volunteering some time to join a group of interested inmates in a book group setting. At the same time reading about the program reminds me of the power of reading to change not only inmates lives but everyone who takes the time to pick up a book and read!

Reflection: Think over a book that helped change your life? Was it fiction or nonfiction? Is there a particular character in a book that has stood out to you?

Here is the link to Robert Waxler’s information at the CLTL website:
http://cltl.umassd.edu/profileswaxler.cfm From this link you can learn a little more about him. Take some time as well to click on the about CLTL tab and learn more about their program.

Here is the link to Jean Trounstine’s website. You can learn more about her passion for helping inmates there: http://www.jeantrounstine.com/?page_id=152

Overcoming for a Resilient Life

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With this week close to Easter I was contemplating what to focus my blog on as I was sitting at my computer. I had been looking over some other books on the importance of reading when a song by Mandisa came to my mind as I was listening to her music. The song speaks to the importance of resilience. Having the inner fortitude to bounce back from the difficulties of life is the overcoming for a resilient person. We each have different difficulties and problems that try to keep us on the ground while resilience is telling us inside to not quit so we stand up and press on. Listen to the video of her song by clicking on the song title and think over the lyrics that point to the importance of the personal affirmation of “I am an Overcomer!”.

"Overcomer" performed by Mandisa (Click on title to view video of the song)

Staring at a stop sign Watching people drive by
T Mac on the radio Got so much on your mind
Nothing's really going right Looking for a ray of hope
Whatever it is you may be going through
I know He's not gonna let it get the best of you
You're an overcomer Stay in the fight ‘til the final round
You're not going under ‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment Feeling like it's hopeless
That's when He reminds You That you're an overcomer You're an overcomer
Everybody's been down Hit the bottom, hit the ground Ooh, you're not alone
Just take a breath, don't forget Hang on to His promises He wants You to know
The same Man, the Great I am The one who overcame death
He's living inside of You So just hold tight, fix your eyes
On the one who holds your life There's nothing He can't do He's telling you
(Take a breath, don't forget Hang on to His promises)
You're an overcomer You're an overcomer You're an overcomer
So don't quit, don't give in, you're an overcomer
Don't quit, don't give in, you're an overcomer
Don't quit, don't give in, you're an overcomer You're an overcomer

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When the rays of hope are slim in our life we blankly stare out at those passing us by thinking how do they have it so together when we feel beaten into the ground. If we only knew what they were going through we would not think like that. At those times the urge is to quit and give up, especially if we feel we are at rock bottom. It is at these times that we need to know that we don’t have to quit or give in. Understand that you can overcome the difficulties. How can we overcome?

Mandisa looks at life from the same worldview as I do, that of a Christian, so I know that is one reason she chose to sing this song. So the foundation of my overcoming is based on the focal point of who she is singing about -- the risen Savior Jesus. She alludes to His resurrection in the line, “The same Man, the Great I am The one who overcame death.” With this week being Easter that line may be one key reason I decided to use this song this week. I believe God’s purpose for my life is greater than the problems I face so that is important in my concept of having an overcoming mindset. I have had my share of times of being knocked down in life and wanting to stay down or even going lower. With the overcoming mindset I can keep my eyes fixed of Jesus Christ’s power that overcame death and knowing in serving Him he will lead and tell me what he wants for my life. That purpose God has for me is not giving into problems and quitting. Instead it points to overcoming and holding on to His greater purpose for my life.

The affirmation in this song to be an overcomer of course bridges beyond Christians. I remember when the song first came out there was a video that Mandisa did showing several well-known people who were battling cancer and other health problems and they were overcomers over their problems. So the general principle of the song relates to all people of all beliefs reminding us of the importance of not quitting but to overcome the problems that face us.

Another point I learned from the song came from the line “Staring at a stop sign Watching people drive by T Mac on the radio.” She is alluding to Tobey Mac with the term T Mac. His music is very upbeat and positive with a strong spiritual message. The phrase stood out to me reminding me of the power of positive music when difficult days are facing us. When you are going through difficult times it may be of help to listen to some uplifting music to remind you to get up and not quit.

Reflection: What personal affirmations do you remind yourself of when you are facing low “ray of hope” days? Do you have a favorite Overcoming Bible verse or motivational quote that helps you when you hit the ground? Do you have a favorite song that helps perk you up on down days?

Are Books Good Medicine?

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This past week I noticed a Facebook post by author James Patterson mentioning myths about books. One myth stated was that books are not important. I have heard that myth mentioned by college students as we discuss reading methods in the College Success courses I teach. Now as a Bookhead, books are very important to me. That myth made me think of how books are important? Reading books is a relaxing flow activity. Books help build the creative side of our mind as well as strengthening our critical thinking abilities. Beyond that I thought is there a health benefit to reading books? Can books be good medicine for the mind and soul?

This brings me to mention a book, Read Two Books and Let’s Talk Next Week by Janice Maidman Joshua and Donna Dimenna. This is a resource book for counselors and therapists in the use of bibliotherapy. Part of me wishes they would have written more in the text on their thoughts about the therapeutic value of reading. It is clear though, that that was not their purpose. What they do in the book is to list relevant books that relate to emotional and mental problems from A-Z. They simply list the books that speak to issues such as abuse, addiction, grief, mental illness, relationships, and many other topics. Almost any problem a therapist may be facing with a client there are books to help the client. Their book is an excellent resource for any counselor or therapist who are interested in incorporating bibliotherapy in their practice.

They point out that they are not trying to replace counselors with books. Instead they point out rightly that inner healing does not magically occur in the one hour office sessions. With bibliotherapy the books act as a between session homework for the person seeking help to gain insight from between the counseling sessions. The counselor can add to the effectiveness by using some session time for the client to open-up and share what they learned from the readings.

What is Bibliotherapy?

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Bibliotherapy points back to the Greek words “biblio” for book and “therapeia” for therapy. History shows that above the door of the library at Thebes read “The Healing Place of the Soul” (Campbell & Smith). It might help if those words where in modern libraries as well. From that we can gather that books can be good medicine for the soul. Campbell and Smith note studies that show the reading of self-help books improves the quality of the therapeutic relationship.
Adams & Pitre did a survey study of Canadian therapists who used bibliotherapy. They were wanting to discover why therapists used books in their counseling practice. The primary reasons the therapists mentioned for using books be it fiction or non-fiction with clients were to: encourage self-help, enhance therapy, clients request, speed the progression of therapy, books can help explain complex ideas, and to assess client motivation. The first reason of encouraging the client to move from dependency on the counselor to pro-actively helping themselves reminds me of a Professor I had in Counseling at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He stated that a counselor’s job is to continually be working themselves out of a job with a client. He meant by this to not make a client dependent on needing a therapist but to give them the life skills to overcome the present problem and to then hopefully be able to solve future problems.

I know over the years I have read books for a variety of reasons. Many favorite Biblical passages have helped me as I sorted out various personal problems. There have also been many self-help books that have aided my growth through difficult times and personal growth. Some that come to mind are just to mention a few:

The Road Less Traveled, by Scott Peck

What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter

The Pursuit of God, by A. W. Tozer;


Counselors Are Important

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If you are going through life difficulties and they are life debilitating do find a Counselor in your area to help you. Often a local pastor or priest may be able to recommend a professional Counselor in your area. Here is a link to the American Counseling Association’s help for finding Counselors across the country –

http://www.counseling.org/learn-about-counseling/what-is-counseling/find-a-counselor

I present this information as a licensed counselor myself, so I do encourage people to seek help with a professional for help with life’s difficulties. On the other hand if you are just trying to improve your life and the difficulties you face are not that large you may instead want to visit your local library, “The Healing Place of the Soul” according to the ancient Greeks. There at the library do a search for a book that relates to the self-growth area you are exploring.

Reflection: What is a self-help book that helped you in your inner growth or through a difficult time in your life?


Bibliotherapy references
Adams, S.J. & Pitre, N.L. ( 2000). Who Uses Bibliotherapy and Why? A Survey From an Underserviced Area. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry. 48. 645-649.

Campbell, L.F. & Smith T. P. (2003). Integrating Self-Help Books in Psychotherapy. Psychotherapy in Practice. 59. 177-186