Are You Ready For The Real Thing: Life

One of my daughter’s favorite musicians, Toby Mac, came out with a new CD so I was listening to some of the songs off of it. I enjoy his music as well as the messages behind his songs. One song stood out to me as I begin teaching a new group of College students in the College Success course I teach. That song is “This Is Not A Test”. The song in my viewpoint is about experiencing Life with all the real consequences that face us. With teaching college students part of their life in classes is studying for tests to prepare them later for real life in their careers. Yet outside of class in the jobs and relationships they face the real thing of life everyday where there are no retakes or practice runs.

Take a few minutes to reflect over the lyrics to the song. You can listen to a video of the song by clicking on the hyperlinked title.

"This Is Not A Test" Toby Mac (listen to the video by clicking on the title)

Fell out of the sky Hit the ground runnin’ The future is tonight
They’ll never see us comin’ Takin’ by this urgency Won’t let this moment pass The Kingdom is alive We’re steppin’ on the gas We’re checkin’ in, so check it out We’re droppin’ in There ain’t no stopping us now We’ve only got one shot Gonna to take it now Goin’ all in, gonna make it count Won’t look back, gonna set my eyes ‘Cause there ain’t no practice runs in life
This is not a, this is not a test This is the real thing
This is not a, this is not a test This is the real thing
We gonna go til we got nothin’ left This is the real thing
This is not a, this is not a, this is not a test This is not a test
This is not a test We’re checkin’ in, so check it out
We’re droppin’ in There ain’t no stopping us now
We’re breathin’ in, we’re breathin’ out We’re droppin’ in
There ain’t no stoppin’, stoppin’ us now
We’ve only got one shot Gonna to take it now Goin’ all in,
gonna make it count Won’t look back, gonna set my eyes
‘Cause there ain’t no practice runs in life
This is life... So don’t get left behind
This is not a, this is not a test This is the real thing
This is not a, this is not a test This is the real thing
We gonna go til we got nothin’ left This is the real thing
This is not a, this is not a, this is not a test
This is not a test This is not a test
We gonna move, live every second Make it count for you
We gonna move, live every second Make it count for you
(This is not a test) We gonna move, live every second
Make it count for you

So many times the “left behind” feelings occur as we do not take seriously the choices we make in life. We waste time spinning our wheels doing remakes of bad decisions. That may be fine for a quiz where there are multiple retakes but as the song is saying, in real life we don’t have that luxury. The real thing of life especially in the most important times does not come with practice runs. After each choice comes a consequence that alters our life by the choices we make. Granted we can try to make up from the messes of bad choices by making amends and making better choices in the future but that does not negate the initial mistake.

The phrases: “Won’t let this moment pass”; “We’re checkin’ in”; “We’re droppin’ in”; “We’ve only got one shot”; “Goin’ all in”; “gonna make it count” point to what success in life and living the more than ok life is all about. In our decisions in life we need to be thinking critically and with a serious sense of responsibility. It is about actively being engaged in our environments and understanding the power of each choice we make to create our futures. If we plan to make our lives count then it there needs to be an understanding we must be involved in life and making the best possible choices.
Then I also appreciate how the song ends with, “We gonna move, live every second, Make it count for you”. Life is not about being passive but active in “we gonna move”. There is no impact in life is we just sit on the sidelines passively hoping life to just hand us something. Sitting passively we either get dumped on with something negative or just nothing good ever happens. He challenges the listener to make life count even to the point of living each second, (“seconds” makes me think of another song but that will be for next week). Really the choice is ours as we can let life pass us by or make the most of it by living life as the real thing.

Reflection: Have you had times where you thought life was passing you by? What was happening in your life then and what choices were you making? How are you moving in life right now? How can you make your moments count?

Speak Life in Living More Than OK

http://foter.com/search/instant/?q=sunny day

I’ve heard people say, “Words are just words; they don’t mean anything.” It is often said by those shrugging off cutting words that have hurt someone as a way to make excuses for talking in demeaning ways. Words have power. Power to hurt, destroy, bring pain. Also words have power to bring hope, life and joy. Many who struggle with negative self-talk that destroys their inner being learned those negative scripts from dark demeaning words from others towards them when they were young. Over the years they took those negative words to heart and believed them.

We need to understand the words we say can have a powerful effect for bad or for good. I want us to think about the words we say by considering a song by Toby Mac which reminds us of the power of words. Listen to the song and reflect over the words of the lyrics:

Speak Life by Toby Mac (click on the title to hear the song video)

Some days, life feels perfect. Other days it just ain’t workin. The good, the bad, the right, the wrong And everything in between. It’s crazy, amazing We can turn a heart with the words we say. Mountains crumble with every syllable. Hope can live or die

So speak Life, speak Life To the deadest darkest night. Speak life, speak Life. When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why. Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted; Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope, You speak love, you speak... You speak Life,(oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Some days the tongue gets twisted; Other days my thoughts just fall apart. I do, I don’t, I will, I won’t, It’s like I’m drowning in the deep. Well it crazy to imagine, Words from our lips as the arms of compassion, Mountains crumble with every syllable. Hope can live or die.

So speak Life, speak Life. To the deadest darkest night. Speak life, speak Life. When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why. Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted; Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope, You speak love, you speak... You speak Life,(oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Lift your head a little higher, Spread the love like fire, Hope will fall like rain, When you speak life with the words you say. Raise your thoughts a little higher, Use your words to inspire, Joy will fall like rain, When you speak life with the things you say. Lift your head a little higher, Spread the love like fire, Hope will fall like rain, When you speak life with the words you say.
So speak Life, speak Life. To the deadest darkest night. Speak life, speak Life. When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why. Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted; Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope, You speak love, you speak... You speak Life,(oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh) Some days life feels perfect.

http://foter.com/search/instant/?q=sunny day

We all face differing environmental factors everyday of our life. We have good days and bad days. Sometimes the bad days are full of darkness. The song makes me think of what kind of words are coming out of me as I face each day whether it is dark or a sunny day? First of all am I speaking life to myself? Am I speaking words that inspire and bring hope? If I am dealing with negative self-talk I need to change the scripts and speak positive life changing. The late Dr. William Glasser spoke of the Quality World we build in our minds. Those are formed by are thoughts which are made up of words. Words then are important driving forces of our choices and behaviors.

Toby Mac is also telling us to move beyond ourselves to consider how our words can bring hope and compassion to those around us. If we are having a bad day know others around us may be in the same boat. As we revive new life into our day with the words we tell ourselves we in turn can help others around us come alive with hope-filled and loving words. As you go through this week think through the power of your words.

Reflection: Consider the words you use during the day. Do your words bring hope and love into your life and the lives of those around you? What is one way you can speak life to someone today?

Resilience: Keeping Your Eyes On Your Goals

In one of my doctoral psychology classes I have been researching the topic of resilience. Resilience is that character trait that helps individuals survive and even thrive through the difficulties and hardships in life. It is something someone is -- not what someone does. In the research people are studied who thrive even though they have difficult backgrounds and challenges in life to see how they become successful. The question becomes why do some people thrive through hardships and others give up and quit becoming victims instead of victors?

As I was reading through journal articles on the topic a song from one of my daughter’s favorite musicians came to my mind. It is the song “Eye On It” by Toby Mac. The song speaks to some of the techniques that can help people be victors instead of victims in life. Take a few minutes to look over the lyrics and if you click on the title you can listen to the song and watch the lyrics in the video.

"Eye On It" by Toby Mac (Click on the title to activate the video)

Eye on it, eye on it Eye on it, eye on it Eye on it Eye on it Eye on it, eye on it
I set my eyes to the west, walkin' away from it all Reachin' for what lies ahead, I got my eye on it
I see my sweat hit the ground I put my foot in the block
This is the race of my life And I can’t wait for this shot

‘Cause I can feel the wind at my back Chest is pumpin' like a heart attack
Feet are moving and my mind is locked Pressin' on with everything I got
I got my eye on it I got my eye on it I got my eye on it Eye on it
I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it
I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it I got my eye on it, and I will not quit
I got a new passenger to help me navigate the way So when my heart hits the floor I can recalibrate
I feel the deeper callin' me, all else is fadin' in the past So let me run in the race that I know is built to last

‘Cause I can feel the wind at my back Chest is pumpin' like a heart attack
Feet are moving and my mind is locked Pressing on I gotta take my shot
I got my eye on it I got my eye on it I got my eye on it Eye on it
I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it
I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it I got my eye on the prize and I will not quit
(I will not quit, eye on it Eye on it, eye on it Eye on it, I will not quit)

The analogy seen in the song is clearly that of a race. Runners are often very resilient as they understand the need for discipline. They put hours of work and sweat into daily practice of running whether they are sprinters or marathon runners. A runner is not going to win the race or a medal if they spend most of their time lying around surfing the internet and Face booking while constantly snacking on chips and Cola. A runner who lives like that will be lost in a trail of dust. A runner who is serious is disciplined. So to be resilient in life there needs to be an emphasis on living a disciplined life and know what you want out of this life takes work not slacking and snacking.

Then there is the repetition of the phrase “Eye on it” and “Eye on the prize”. Resilient people have a focus on their goals. Keeping their eyes set on what they are aiming for. Like a runner they keep pressing forward to their finish line of their goal. Even though they feel the pressure around them and inside of them they do not quit or give up until they cross the finish line. To be a victor you do not give up and quit but keep running the race.

On a grander scale Toby Mac is a Christian musician so I know since I come from the same worldview, the race he is speaking of is that of sunning the spiritual race of becoming more Christ like. I see in his lyrics a close semblance to the Apostle Paul’s writing in:

I Corinthians 9:24 “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.”

Philippians 3:14 “I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

The Apostle Paul used the race analogy to remind early Christians that this life is about a race of grace in spreading the Good News of Christ while we pass through this quick journey on Earth. So that is the main point Toby Mac is speaking to. Yet from my research over the weeks on increasing resilience in individuals the thoughts from the song of -- discipline, focus, keeping eyes on the goals relate well to ways to help all people move from being victims of life’s problems and hardships to becoming victors.

Reflection: How is the race you are on this year going? What are you focused on in your life? If you feel like quitting what can you refocus on to keep pressing on?

Getting Back Up From Hardships

Part of life is the hardships that come our way. The hardships come in varying degrees of difficulty. Each one of us face different hardships: job loss, loved ones dying, affairs, divorce, relationship breakups, illnesses, harsh weather events, (tornadoes and hurricanes), accidents, and tragedies such as the recent shooting I mentioned in the last blog post. These are negative happenstance events that no one plans for. At least no one I know plans and desires tragedies in their lives.

When we are hit by hardships are emotions are overwhelmed. We feel like the world is crushing us. This happens due to the shock value of the event happening without our full expectation of it. Granted some things such as divorces, job loss, and deaths from long term illnesses are not sudden shocks but still the pain of sadness, depression and anxiety has a strong impact on us.

At these times when we are knocked down by life that is when our resilience can come into play. The dictionary defines resilience as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. We can bounce back up from hardships. We need not be completely crushed and debilitated from these events. It is natural to go through the “why me” stage and experience the negative emotions of what we are experiencing. But living a more than ok life means we move beyond the negative feelings to adjust on to a positive pathway.

I came across this song by musician Toby Mac which speaks to the importance of resilience in bouncing back and getting back up when life knocks us down. Click on the title of the song to hear a video of the song “Get Back Up” and reflect over what the song means to you.

Get Back Up Toby Mac

You turned away when I looked you in the eye
And hesitated when I asked if you were alright
Seems like you’re fightin’ for your life
But why, oh, why
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare
You saw it comin’ but it hit you out of nowhere
And there’s always scars when you fall that far
We lose our way, we get back up again
It’s never too late to get back up again
And one day you gonna’ shine again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever
We lose our way, we get back up again
So get up, get up, you gonna’ shine again
It’s never too late to get back up again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever
You roll out of the dawning of the day
Heart racin’ as you made your little get away
It feels like you been runnin’ all your life
But why, oh, why
So you pull away from the love that would’ve been there
And start believin’ that your situation’s unfair
But there’s always scars when you fall that far
This is love callin,’ love callin,’
Out to the broken this is love callin’
This is love callin,’ love callin,’
I am so broken
This is love callin,’ love callin’

In the song, words and phrases that relate to hardships and tragedies in my view were “middle of your nightmare” and “hit you out of nowhere”. Often on news stories about earthquakes or tornadoes people will describe the aftermath as like a nightmare. Being hit out of nowhere is the experiential feeling we have as if the wind is knocked out of you as you hear of an affair of someone you trust. Also many going through hardships, bear scars that may always be with them or take a long time to heal.

The positive phrases that speak to bouncing back from hardships are “So get up, get up, you gonna’ shine again” and “You may be knocked down, but not out forever”. It is true during hard times we are knocked down. But do we need to stay down? No, we can get back up again. Although the darkness surrounding us in the hard times feel like an eternity as the song says we will shine again. Often we shine brighter afterwards as we build up our inner self and grow in resilience ability for future hardships.

There is a spiritual element I believe to going through hardships and that is what Toby Mac is speaking of in the phrase, “This is love callin”. Sometimes in the hard times we feel alone and make ourselves more alone by pulling away from others. We become too caught up with “This is not fair” thinking. In that broken thinking we need to understand and be open to God calling to us with His love. Be open to the love of others He places around us.

I think through the hard times I have had in my life journey. I would never wish any of those times on anyone. But I can say each time I have bounced back and learned new aspects of my life journey in the process. Sometimes it took me longer to “Get back up again” and the hardest times, thankfully I had friends nearby to encourage me and often felt God’s presence during the time.

Reflection:
Think through a time of hardship you had. Write down what happened and what feelings you went through. How did you bounce back and who all was involved in the process? Fast forward past the event. Write down an event where you felt life was shining for you after the time of hardship. Be thankful for that shining time.

We Are Designed For Loving Relationships

We are relational beings in the sense we thrive better in our lives by having meaningful relationships with family and friends. We are not islands to our selves but our actions affect those around us. In the spiritual realm of our living I believe God is relational. I understand some believe that God is an impersonal life-force or others believe God is a figment of our relational imagination. This is why I mentioned before that everything boils down to our belief system.

The following verses from the New Testament reveal that the God of the Judeo-Christian worldview is a God of Love. The Bible states that God is Love. His love is a sacrificial love and outreaching love. God’s love reached to man before man reached back. His love is the model that those who believe in Him should follow.

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:9-11
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. - 1 John 4:16

God desires for us to really live lives of love through Him. That is the purpose behind the death and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ. The text points out that it is not we who love God. He first loved us. The fallen nature of man makes us selfish creatures who simply tend to love ourselves first. Within self esteem this is needed to a certain level. Our sin nature though often turns this selfishness to an extreme that excludes us from relating true love to God and our fellow man. As we accept God’s unconditional love and sacrificial love we can then love ourselves in a right manner and then pass God’s love on to those around us.

The following song by Toby Mac is a picture of a clear statement of how we were designed to be loving in the image of God’s love. It is a great song from one of my daughter's favorite music artists. That is another reason I chose it. Click on the title to view the video of the song and then reflect over the lyrics.

Made To Love

The dream is fading, now I'm staring at the door
I know its over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain't feelin what I see
It's no mystery
Whatever happened to a passion I could live for
What became of the flame that made me feel more
And when did I forget that...

I was made to love you, I was made to find you
I was made just for you, Made to adore you
I was made to love, And be loved by you
You were here before me, You were waiting on me
And you said you'd keep me, Never would you leave me I was made to love
and be loved by you

The dream's alive with my eyes opened wide
Back in the ring you've got me swinging for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin vapors on my dreams, But I still believe
I'm reachin out, reachin up, reachin over, I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And daddy I'm on my way, Cause I was made to love...

I was made to love you, I was made to find you
I was made just for you, Made to adore you
I was made to love, And be loved by you
You were here before me, You were waiting on me, And you said you'd keep me
Never would you leave me I was made to love, and be loved by you

Anything I would give up for you (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)
Everything, I'd give it all away (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)


Cause I was made to love you (I was made to love you)
Yeah I was made to love you (I was made to find you)
Cause I was made to love you (I was made to adore you, made just for you) (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)
I was made to love you (I was made to adore you, made just for you)
Cause I was made to love you (I was made to adore you, made just for you) (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)
I was made to love you (I was made to adore you)

I like how Toby starts the song out with a question of what has happened to the passion and fire of the dream. It is like the dream is dying. Recently I spoke of atheism as a belief system. Many atheists have a good argument against God by what they see in the negativity of Christians. The famous author Anne Rice made news recently in saying she was quitting Christianity because of the level of hate she sees in Christians. I felt sad that she has not seen the good examples of Godly Christians who unite as a community of God’s love. Thinking through the words from I John and this song they do have a point that should make Christians look at how they are living their lives. God gives each of us dreams to live out but the foundation of living out the dream should be bathed in His love so the world can take notice in a positive manner. Our dream can be revived just like the lyric line “The dream's alive with my eyes opened wide”. This comes to pass by our adoration of the God of love in daily worship and in daily loving of those around us.

Reflection:
What does God is Love mean to you? Think through the many good things in your life that God has brought your way often through happenstance events. How are you showing God’s love to the people in your sphere of influence?