Winning The Marathons in Your Life

“Energy and Persistence Conquers All Things” Benjamin Franklin

If you are looking for tips for running marathons you are out of luck. I am a walker not a runner so I can’t be much help to those who run marathons. Those who run marathons, I have a great respect for with their disciplined training, their endurance and persistence to push to the end. I found out in writing this that a true marathon is 26.2 miles or 42 kilometers. Those races that are shorter are called 5K, 10K, and half-marathons.

Marathons are at times seen as metaphor for our life journey. In looking at the metaphor I see many of our stages in life relate to being like marathons as well. Work, discipline, sweat, and persistence are parts of many of the various marathons we face. I have been going through a marathon journey the past few years with my work towards my PhD in psychology. I am on the final grueling leg of my dissertation process. That is why the initial picture for this blog is that of reading and research.

Recently, even though I am at the final stage the urge to give up is often in my self-talk. I have approval of my topic and a research plan for a qualitative study but I fear putting it all together. All the course work with Capella University has prepared me for the research and writing of the dissertation, yet at the same time there is the now seemingly chronic fatigue of always balancing work, family and studies. With the plaguing negative self-talk of “just give up – you won’t make it”. Often it feels like it is just me and the race and being the slow one there is no one to cheer the runner on.

That is where persistence kicks in. The quote I have listed here is important in persistently ploughing through the final stages where you want to give up in your marathon whether it is finishing your education, working through marriage problems, or even in finishing a PhD dissertation. “Persistence is a refusal to quit. It is looking into the face of adversity and saying, “I like my odds”. It is an unwillingness to move aside. It is believing in a cause and being distracted by nothing.” There was no person related to the quote and I have found that anonymous quotes are many times the best.

When I look at the last leg of my marathon for my PhD in psychology the negativity of my mind fills my life with getting sidetracked with distractions and the desire to quit. Persistence comes in with clear minded focus on the end goal. It leads with positive self-talk such as “I like my odds – I can finish this!” Often in quitting the marathons in our lives we lose track in our initial belief in the cause of our goal so we let the stuff of life defeat us. It is at these give up times we need to refocus of the goal. As in my case going back to why I started the PhD process, what I can learn from my dissertation research for my future and the future for my family and my work with students and clients.

In talking to marathon runners even though it is the toughest near the end there can be for those who persist a second wind, often called the runner’s high. It is a burst of energy that carries them to the end of the race. In flow research, which is part of my dissertation study; that second wind is important to the flow process in marathon runners. In your personal life journey marathons, don’t give up and you will gain the burst of energy you need to finish.

Our important life journey stages if we really want life growth should be seen as marathons not sprints. Modern culture wants to speed everything into short sprints to success but real life is not that way. When you feel like giving up -- “Keep Going”.

Reflection—What marathon in life are you going through at the present. How does the persistence quote relate to your experience at the present time? What can you personally do to “Keep Going”?

A Mindful Christmas With Focus Forward

This Christmas we took a different path of celebrating the day and took a short trip on Christmas Day to the small town of Marble Falls, Texas. The only place open in the town for activities was a small movie theater where we saw the new The Secret Life of Walter Smitty movie. From there we enjoyed a magnificent Christmas light display the town puts on every year. A volunteer told me that the display is put up by townspeople but they also receive help from a local prison that sends a team of inmates to help string lights. Those same inmates are invited back before the display opens to the public to see the fruits of their work and enjoy punch and cookies. She mentioned for many inmates it is a touching experience to give back to society in that manner.

Back at the hotel I had time for some reading so took the occasion to read through my December issue of Mindful magazine. Sitting there reading I was thankful that we had a relaxing Christmas day together with no major cooking or cleanup. This time of reading also gave me the time to be reflective. Mindfulness is being able to appreciate the present moment . I thought that had been a part of the evening for me, starting with the Christmas light display. Strolling through and viewing the lights with my wife and daughter gave me time to reflect on the message of Christmas and the importance of this holiday in my present and past. The crisp cold air gave me the reminder of Christmas time even though being in Central Texas there was no snow unlike my Ohio and Chicago Christmas days. Viewing the displays I was able to fully able to fully enjoy them in the moment while at the same time they brought up fond savoring memories from Christmases past.

This time of year I do also begin to think of the year ahead of new goals and plans for the year ahead. It was interesting that the Mindful issue had an article that inspired me to reflect on my new goals and plans for the coming year. The article was “Focus” by Dr. Daniel Goleman. The article shared thoughts from his latest book, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence. I have always been a strong supporter in my teaching college students concerning his concepts of emotional intelligence so this was the highlight article of the issue for me.

The article mentions the lack of the power of focus for many people in our modern technological world. In a Twitter, texting world minds are more scattered and less focused. I noticed this the other day while attending a Trans Siberian Orchestra concert. Two people beside me at the beginning of an amazing show were looking at other videos on the one person’s cell phone. Also throughout the show many people I noticed, instead of taking in the show with the focus on the performance, they had their cell phones out either texting or taking pictures and videos of the show. Why? To prove on Facebook that they were there? By mindfully being focused on the performance I was able to deeply appreciate the group’s talent yes, but also more importantly be touched by a powerful story of the meaning of Christmas within the story being told by the narrator and singers. I understood that Dr. Goleman was right -- focus is important.

Within the article he shared three aspects of focus I had never thought of before. He shared that to have what I call a living more than ok life of abundant living, we need to consider three vital aspects of focus. First is to focus on the inner world, other relationships, and the outer world. The “inner focus” zeroes in on our personal values and our personal unique strengths. The second is the “other focus” that relates to an emphasis on our relationship with others in our circle of influence. The third focus aspect to consider is the “outer focus” that encourages a consideration of the big picture of the larger world around us.

As I reflected on what Dr. Goleman was saying here how these three aspects of focus can move us towards excellence; I thought of how I usually worked through personal goals in the past. I would say my personal plans were usually planned with just the inner focus. So as I move in to the New Year with my planning and new goal preparation, I am deciding to add into the planning the “other focus’ and the “outer focus” to add new dimensions in the planning process as I prayerfully and mindfully consider ideas for my life in 2014.

Reflection: Do you find yourself more scattered in your thinking and your life? Did you take time to mindfully enjoy the meaning for Christmas in your personal life? What do you think of Dr. Goleman’s concepts of having an inner, other, and outer focus?

Dilbert And Writing Down Goals

For my recent lecture to students on setting educational and life goals I reviewed over a book I read years ago. The book is Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser PhD. She has taught English at several Universities and is a writing and communications consultant to Fortune 500 companies. Her book looks at the importance of writing down your goals for what you really want out of your life. The book is full of stories of famous people and not so famous people who accomplished amazing things in their lives. One common element in them was that they wrote down lists and goals of what they wanted to do. The stories show how the goals they wrote down came true.

One of the first stories she mentions is that of Scott Adams. He is well known as the cartoonist behind the Dilbert comic strip. Scott did not graduate from high school and become a cartoonist right away. His early career life was that of a technology worker. He did at the time have a habit of doodling during work. I do not know if that is a basic skill of a cartoonist. That may explain why I never became one as I do not doodle. Henriette points out Scott Adams did something else. He started a habit of writing 15 times a day, “I will become a syndicated cartoonist.” If you know anything about writers and artists rejection is part of their life journey. Scott Adams never gave up he kept trying by resending the cartoon out to possible vendors.

One day it happened that he received a contract to syndicate the Dilbert Cartoon. That is when he changed what he wrote down. He then started writing “I will be the best cartoonist on the planet.” That is difficult to know who is the best at cartooning but one has to admit he made Dilbert very popular as it became a cartoon listed in newspapers around the world. His Dilbert books have sold well as well as Dilbert fans can buy Dilbert mugs, calendars and other items. All of this from a personal dream, turned into a written down goal list.

As you read through Dr. Klauser’s book you can read a variety of stories of personal dreams coming true as people wrote them down in diaries, journals, scraps of paper, or goal statement forms. Is it some kind of magic to write something down and it happens? No I don’t believe it is magic. Just writing it down does not mean it will happen.
There are a couple aspects of writing things down that I believe can help in reaching the goal you are trying for. First of all by writing the goal or desire down you are focusing your mind to work towards the end of reaching your goal. If my mind is more focused I can plan better to reach the goal. A focused mind also allows for stronger levels of persistence. After a couple of rejection letters Scott Adams could have given up his daily writing his “I will become a syndicated cartoonist” list. Then he would have just resigned himself to stop doodling and work quietly in his cubicle. The world would then be a less funny place as Dilbert would have never happened. By writing his list each day he kept focused on not letting the rejection get the best of him. I am not a Dilbert fan but I can say the world is a better place because of Adams humor found in the Dilbert cartoon.

The writing down of your goals also makes you have a higher commitment level. If my goal is just something I talk about to friends it can be just that. Just talk. But if I take the time to write it down I force myself to think through ways of reaching the goal. Writing the goal down makes me take more ownership and responsibility in making the goal happen. If you are trying to accomplish some things that you just keep mulling over in your mind try writing them down. If you need some inspiration in doing this look for the book Write It Down, Make It Happen in your local library and read the inspiring stories of people just like you who have accomplished their dreams by writing it down.

Reflection -- Think over a couple of things you really wanted to accomplish this year and are already falling out of your grasp. Take some moments to write them down specifically how you want your goal concretely to look. Try what Scott did and go back that goal every day writing it down and see what happens.

Resilience: Keeping Your Eyes On Your Goals

In one of my doctoral psychology classes I have been researching the topic of resilience. Resilience is that character trait that helps individuals survive and even thrive through the difficulties and hardships in life. It is something someone is -- not what someone does. In the research people are studied who thrive even though they have difficult backgrounds and challenges in life to see how they become successful. The question becomes why do some people thrive through hardships and others give up and quit becoming victims instead of victors?

As I was reading through journal articles on the topic a song from one of my daughter’s favorite musicians came to my mind. It is the song “Eye On It” by Toby Mac. The song speaks to some of the techniques that can help people be victors instead of victims in life. Take a few minutes to look over the lyrics and if you click on the title you can listen to the song and watch the lyrics in the video.

"Eye On It" by Toby Mac (Click on the title to activate the video)

Eye on it, eye on it Eye on it, eye on it Eye on it Eye on it Eye on it, eye on it
I set my eyes to the west, walkin' away from it all Reachin' for what lies ahead, I got my eye on it
I see my sweat hit the ground I put my foot in the block
This is the race of my life And I can’t wait for this shot

‘Cause I can feel the wind at my back Chest is pumpin' like a heart attack
Feet are moving and my mind is locked Pressin' on with everything I got
I got my eye on it I got my eye on it I got my eye on it Eye on it
I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it
I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it I got my eye on it, and I will not quit
I got a new passenger to help me navigate the way So when my heart hits the floor I can recalibrate
I feel the deeper callin' me, all else is fadin' in the past So let me run in the race that I know is built to last

‘Cause I can feel the wind at my back Chest is pumpin' like a heart attack
Feet are moving and my mind is locked Pressing on I gotta take my shot
I got my eye on it I got my eye on it I got my eye on it Eye on it
I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it
I got my eye on the prize, I got my eye on it I got my eye on the prize and I will not quit
(I will not quit, eye on it Eye on it, eye on it Eye on it, I will not quit)

The analogy seen in the song is clearly that of a race. Runners are often very resilient as they understand the need for discipline. They put hours of work and sweat into daily practice of running whether they are sprinters or marathon runners. A runner is not going to win the race or a medal if they spend most of their time lying around surfing the internet and Face booking while constantly snacking on chips and Cola. A runner who lives like that will be lost in a trail of dust. A runner who is serious is disciplined. So to be resilient in life there needs to be an emphasis on living a disciplined life and know what you want out of this life takes work not slacking and snacking.

Then there is the repetition of the phrase “Eye on it” and “Eye on the prize”. Resilient people have a focus on their goals. Keeping their eyes set on what they are aiming for. Like a runner they keep pressing forward to their finish line of their goal. Even though they feel the pressure around them and inside of them they do not quit or give up until they cross the finish line. To be a victor you do not give up and quit but keep running the race.

On a grander scale Toby Mac is a Christian musician so I know since I come from the same worldview, the race he is speaking of is that of sunning the spiritual race of becoming more Christ like. I see in his lyrics a close semblance to the Apostle Paul’s writing in:

I Corinthians 9:24 “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.”

Philippians 3:14 “I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

The Apostle Paul used the race analogy to remind early Christians that this life is about a race of grace in spreading the Good News of Christ while we pass through this quick journey on Earth. So that is the main point Toby Mac is speaking to. Yet from my research over the weeks on increasing resilience in individuals the thoughts from the song of -- discipline, focus, keeping eyes on the goals relate well to ways to help all people move from being victims of life’s problems and hardships to becoming victors.

Reflection: How is the race you are on this year going? What are you focused on in your life? If you feel like quitting what can you refocus on to keep pressing on?

Living More than Ok with Flow

In considering overcoming the boredom in life which is part of Living More than OK, we can move to more than OK by becoming aware of Flow moments and activities in our lives. Writings and research such as Finding Flow and Beyond Boredom and Anxiety; fully describe the Flow process and importance of it by the author, Dr. Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi, a professor of Positive Psychology and Creativity now at Claremont Graduate University. http://www.brainchannels.com/thinker/mihaly.html

Flow is that experience where you are totally absorbed in what you are doing? It occurs most often when we are doing things we enjoy. One definition of it is , “The state of complete absorption and interest in a task occurring when ability/skill and challenge are high” (LeFevre & Csikszenmihalyi”). Have you ever been involved in a favorite activity and it felt like time stopped and you were able to accomplish more than you imagined you could? You were in a Flow state. Much of Dr. Csikszentmihalyi’s research initially was on sports and musicians -- studying their flow states as Flow in seen easily in these activities.

One may think if Flow just happens why study it? I appreciated in Dr. Csikszentmihalyi’s books how in his research of the issue his main concern is for people to live living happier and more complete lives. People living more fulfilling lives and moving beyond the mundaneness of boredom is one main reason I started this blog. If being aware of Flow helps people live more fulfilled then a thought that comes to my mind is how can we increase the amount of time we are experiencing flow? Of course we can’t live in complete absorption all of the time. Dr Csikszenmihalyi points out that we can’t be in flow all of the time. If we were we would be like a world of Energizer Bunnies or Flow itself would become boring.
Flow is often found in the activities you really enjoy doing. Next time you are doing your favorite activity, photography, writing, fishing, quilting, or gardening see afterwards if you felt re-energized by the activity. Ask yourself is you felt like time just flew by. Did you feel a deeper sense of concentration? Most likely you were in Flow.

In the studies on Flow, there were common aspects of those who experienced flow. Here are some of the main aspects. One is having Goals. Clear specific concrete goals can help us improve in our lives and enhance our opportunities of flow experiences. The goals are guides often for the activities we enjoy doing and desire to excel in them. Again the example of sports comes to mind. Coaches and athletes often make use of goals in their practice and competition.
Concentration and focus are helpful in attaining flow. I have observed artists at their canvas and they don’t distractingly look around but are absorbed in their work on the canvas. If you watch Sport stars in gymnastics and ice skating you can see intensity in their eyes as they are mentally focusing at the task at hand. Some sports stars will mention in interviews that they are often visualizing their performance in their split seconds before the game or sports activity. We have great power given to us to focus on our tasks if we tap into that power God has given us in our minds.

Importance of having a balance of ability and challenge is another aid to flow. Dr. Mihalyi C. in his research looked at ability levels. Flow occurs when we feel challenged yet we have enough knowledge and ability to have confidence in that we can meet the challenge. If we don’t have the ability to do the activity then frustration occurs which is definitely not a flow experience. We can continue to improve as we grow in our abilities to reach higher levels of expertise on those things we enjoy doing.

Another main aspect I would like to point out is then merging our awareness and action together. With the goals and focus in place we then move into doing the activity. Here we do the activity and we simply enjoy doing it. Mental activity and physical action merge into oneness as we paint, swim, jog, write or sew. Now flow occurs and we don’t overanalyze. What stops the flow is if we start to judge ourselves –“what are others thinking of me?” “Am I doing this right?” Leave the questions for a later reflection time simply do it! For example a swimmer in a race doesn’t have the opportunity mid-race to stop and reflect on his progress. Reflection on performance has its place after the activity but to win the race the swimmer must stay in the flow of the race experience trusting his talents.
By making use of flow activities in our lives we can enjoy our daily life more. We can continue to improve and find delight is our favorite activities. Also since focus and concentration are part of the Flow experience we can build up our ability to focus better in other activities by replicating the power of focus in our flow activity. Other benefit to flow is that we are exercising our mind so our mental facilities are strengthened. As we increase our ability level our ability to reach new challenges grows. This can aid in improvement in creativity as we consider new ways to engage in our favorite activities. The more we make use of flow in life the more we have opportunities to enjoy the life journey we are on.

Reflection –
What are some of your favorite flow activities? Are you learning more about that activity to keep increasing your challenge level? What one new activity would you like to add in your life schedule?