In the past I have discussed Chaos theory as it relates to life and careers. I recently read an insightful book on the topic by Dr. Katherine Brooks of UT Austin entitled, You Majored In What? Mapping Your Path from Chaos to Career. As we go through day to day life it can look very chaotic with a mix of happenstance events invading our life. Dr. Brooks points out as you look at the longer journey, the bigger picture of your life, connections and themes can be observed. Patterns are created by the chaotic seemingly random details.
The idea reminds me of reading Edith Schaeffer’s book, The Tapestry, years ago. It is the life of Francis and Edith Schaeffer looking back at their family line and their life together. The book is a delightful read if you can find it in a library or used bookstore. It reminds us as we go through the short periods of life, life looks like the underside of a tapestry – a chaotic mess of tied together fabric. Yet if you turn it over you can see the beautiful pattern.
Dr. Brooks in her book presents a creative exercise that helps us look at our details of life and glean from the pieces important themes and connections that reveal strengths that we can use to guide our lives and career pathways. She calls it the Wandering Map. It is a tool to help us creatively explore our talents and strengths so as to open up new possibilities; helps in savoring past events and gaining personal insight of past events; helps us view themes and patterns in our life journey. This activity will improve your self discovery which is part of Living More Than OK.
I will walk through the elements of the Wandering Map so you can try it out. I encourage you to pick up a copy of the book as it touches on so many other areas of our career life. Or if you know of a college student undergoing angst over their education and career journey recommend this book to them. You can find out more information about the book at her website www.YouMajoredInWhat.com
First of all get a blank 8 ½ x11 piece of paper or a larger poster board; and some colored markers or crayons to help you be creative with this. Set aside some quiet time to enjoy this brainstorming activity. You can use a table or desk or if your knees don’t give you trouble, you can sprawl out on the floor.
Next, think back over your life from childhood to the present for activities, places traveled, favorite classes, significant people, meaningful books ( a bookhead like me has to include books in the list), jobs, hobbies and ect. Write these items down on the paper in a random manner as they come to you. It will seem chaotic but again this stems from our thoughts on chaos theory, so just let the ideas flow. The paper or poster will soon have an appearance of a Mindmap.
As you look at all the items from your life experience you listed, start jotting down thoughts of a few key words that relate to them. Also make sure you write down key turning points in your life experience.
Now put the markers down and silently reflect or if you are musical have some favorite music on and mindfully reflect over the big picture of all that is on the paper. Begin looking for connections that may flow through your childhood activities up to the present. Then draw different colored lines that will connect the differing items on your list that have a connection.
After you have made the connections, list categories that come to mind. Try to make an initial list of 5. For example 5 that come up for my wandering map are – Spirituality, reading books ( what a surprise!), Counseling, music, studying psychology.
Then finally ponder over the categories and see if you can come up with overarching themes for the Wandering Map. You may want to write these down at the top of the map. Here is a sampling of some of the themes Dr. Brooks lists in her book on page 34. Purchase her book for the complete list or brainstorm over theme ideas:
Adventure – taking risks, trying new things
Creativity – self-expression, ideas as in art and music
Family – nurturing, children, family gatherings
Health – exercise and eating well
Independence -- freedom and autonomy
Leadership – organizing, inspiring
Learning – acquiring knowledge, life-long learning
Physical Work – using your hands, building
Security – safety, stability
Spirituality – practicing religion meditating
Wealth – acquiring money, economic security
Jot down a list of your key themes and as I mentioned the themes may make a nice title for your paper or poster if you used poster board. You can do this activity by yourself or you may want to do it as a family or with a group of friends. The important thing is have fun with it and see what new insights you can learn about yourself through the experience.
Reflection:
Take some time to journal about your Wandering Map. What were your primary themes and how are they important to you? What are some feelings you experienced as you wrote your initial list?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Growing in Our Critical Thinking Skills
I recently had a question related to Critical Thinking so I thought I would speak again to this important issue as I believe our thought life is important to Living More Than OK. Here is the question:
One of my friends told me she has issues with not having critical thinking. She was wondering whether it has anything to do with her personality or training deficit. Any thoughts ?
It is not a matter of not having critical thinking it is more a matter of developing our critical thinking skills. We are thinking all the time. Even when we are moving on autopilot the brain is processing the observations around us. The questioner mentions personality. There are personality theories that bring up the point that some people are more predisposed to be to be thinkers while others may be more of doers for example. When we look at those around us we do notice differences in people’s thinking. Some people jump right into different activities or relationships while others think through deeply before they make a move. This just shows we are different and unique. Our thinking skills fall on a continuum and on that continuum we can always rise to a higher level. The important point is that we can all improve our critical thinking skills which will help in every aspect of life, personal relationships, money matters, health, work, future plans, and ect.
Remember that critical thinking is not a negative activity of putting things down or having a negative cranky spirit. Vincent Ruggiero in his book Making Your Mind Matter shows that critical thinking is a positive activity of evaluating ideas from others and yourself in order to improve the ideas and choose the best one. This relates well as I previously mentioned Richard Paul and Linda Elder in their writings bring out that questioning is key to critical thinking. Ruggiero in his book, mentions a thinking style which I feel captures important features of critical thinking as it relates to daily challenges we all face. He calls it the WISE approach. This is one way in which to improve critical thinking in our life.
Wonder - Go through each day with a sense of wonder making note and observations of your experience and thoughts during the day. You may want to record key events problems, and thoughts relevant in a journal.
Investigate – With key problems or important issues do thoughtful research for solutions.
Speculate – Use the power of questions in relation to problems and life issues. Brainstorm creative solutions.
Evaluate - Try out the solutions to challenges you face during the day and look for the most effective ways to improve your life.
Another way to improve our thinking is Richard Paul and Linda Elder’s admonition that we should become a critic of our own thinking. Again this is not a negative hitting ourselves on the head , “Oh, I’m so stupid. I just can’t think!” No it is taking the time to “think about your thinking in order to make it better”, (Richard Paul). Take a seat back and ponder over your thinking, how do you think through issues facing you? What have been the circumstances that resulted from your thinking? How can you improve your thinking quality.
The being a critic of our thinking approach reminded me of a verse in the Apostle Paul’s writing 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV) “... and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” He is looking at our thought life from the spiritual standpoint of actively taking charge and control of our thoughts instead of drifting through our mental life on autopilot. The principle relates to all aspects of thought to be in control of our thinking and actively have our thoughts captive so we know why we believe what we believe and understand the thought process behind our actions.
Another important way to improve our thinking is as I mentioned in one of my early blog postings is to be a Bookhead. Read up on how to improve your thinking. We need to be life long learners. Here are a few book recommendations:
Critical Thinking – Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life by Richard Paul & Linda Elder.
Thinking For a Change by John Maxwell. (Love that title!)
Making Your Mind Matter by Vincent Ruggiero
25 Days to Better Thinking & Better Living by Dr. Linda Elder & Dr. Richard Paul (This is a short book where you can devote a day at a time for 25 days on different aspects of improving your thinking.)
Also make use of Internet resources:
www.criticalthinking.org This website has numerous resource articles to expand your thinking on Critical Thinking.
http://www.rebtnetwork.org/whatis.html This is a website about Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). His theory helps us see the need for critical thinking as many of our problems are based in our faulty beliefs. There are very helpful ideas on this website to help improve our thinking process.
Reflection:
Take some quiet time alone to think about your thinking. On a scale of 1-10 what is the quality of your thinking? (1 being very weak -- 10 being saintly perfect). I always tell my students never give yourself a 10 rating on a rating scale as in this life we always have room to improve even if we think we are a 9.99!
Brainstorm ways in which you feel you can improve in your critical thinking skills.
One of my friends told me she has issues with not having critical thinking. She was wondering whether it has anything to do with her personality or training deficit. Any thoughts ?
It is not a matter of not having critical thinking it is more a matter of developing our critical thinking skills. We are thinking all the time. Even when we are moving on autopilot the brain is processing the observations around us. The questioner mentions personality. There are personality theories that bring up the point that some people are more predisposed to be to be thinkers while others may be more of doers for example. When we look at those around us we do notice differences in people’s thinking. Some people jump right into different activities or relationships while others think through deeply before they make a move. This just shows we are different and unique. Our thinking skills fall on a continuum and on that continuum we can always rise to a higher level. The important point is that we can all improve our critical thinking skills which will help in every aspect of life, personal relationships, money matters, health, work, future plans, and ect.
Remember that critical thinking is not a negative activity of putting things down or having a negative cranky spirit. Vincent Ruggiero in his book Making Your Mind Matter shows that critical thinking is a positive activity of evaluating ideas from others and yourself in order to improve the ideas and choose the best one. This relates well as I previously mentioned Richard Paul and Linda Elder in their writings bring out that questioning is key to critical thinking. Ruggiero in his book, mentions a thinking style which I feel captures important features of critical thinking as it relates to daily challenges we all face. He calls it the WISE approach. This is one way in which to improve critical thinking in our life.
Wonder - Go through each day with a sense of wonder making note and observations of your experience and thoughts during the day. You may want to record key events problems, and thoughts relevant in a journal.
Investigate – With key problems or important issues do thoughtful research for solutions.
Speculate – Use the power of questions in relation to problems and life issues. Brainstorm creative solutions.
Evaluate - Try out the solutions to challenges you face during the day and look for the most effective ways to improve your life.
Another way to improve our thinking is Richard Paul and Linda Elder’s admonition that we should become a critic of our own thinking. Again this is not a negative hitting ourselves on the head , “Oh, I’m so stupid. I just can’t think!” No it is taking the time to “think about your thinking in order to make it better”, (Richard Paul). Take a seat back and ponder over your thinking, how do you think through issues facing you? What have been the circumstances that resulted from your thinking? How can you improve your thinking quality.
The being a critic of our thinking approach reminded me of a verse in the Apostle Paul’s writing 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV) “... and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” He is looking at our thought life from the spiritual standpoint of actively taking charge and control of our thoughts instead of drifting through our mental life on autopilot. The principle relates to all aspects of thought to be in control of our thinking and actively have our thoughts captive so we know why we believe what we believe and understand the thought process behind our actions.
Another important way to improve our thinking is as I mentioned in one of my early blog postings is to be a Bookhead. Read up on how to improve your thinking. We need to be life long learners. Here are a few book recommendations:
Critical Thinking – Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life by Richard Paul & Linda Elder.
Thinking For a Change by John Maxwell. (Love that title!)
Making Your Mind Matter by Vincent Ruggiero
25 Days to Better Thinking & Better Living by Dr. Linda Elder & Dr. Richard Paul (This is a short book where you can devote a day at a time for 25 days on different aspects of improving your thinking.)
Also make use of Internet resources:
www.criticalthinking.org This website has numerous resource articles to expand your thinking on Critical Thinking.
http://www.rebtnetwork.org/whatis.html This is a website about Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). His theory helps us see the need for critical thinking as many of our problems are based in our faulty beliefs. There are very helpful ideas on this website to help improve our thinking process.
Reflection:
Take some quiet time alone to think about your thinking. On a scale of 1-10 what is the quality of your thinking? (1 being very weak -- 10 being saintly perfect). I always tell my students never give yourself a 10 rating on a rating scale as in this life we always have room to improve even if we think we are a 9.99!
Brainstorm ways in which you feel you can improve in your critical thinking skills.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The Importance of Choices in Our Lives
Recently I received an email comment on my posting Our Humanity Messiness and Choices. You can read the comment at that posting. The person rightly pointed out that some messes occur due to our being locked up by our holding onto false beliefs generated through culture, society, religion, family, and ect. The commentator then used the example that men often do not go for help with problems due to the false beliefs that they should be strong and figure it out by themselves. A false pride in self; which is only fear of breaking free from the belief controlling them. The email ended with victory in the power to choose to free oneself of the fears of false belief. So I wanted to look more at our power to choose.
We can face fewer false beliefs if we challenge them with critical thinking skills I mentioned in the post Living More Than OK By Using Critical Thinking Skills. I will discuss more on that topic as well in the future. Yet even using critical thinking is a choice we must make. I mentioned power along with choice. “The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose” J. Martin Kohe, (author and psychologist). We have amazing power for good possibilities and bad in our lives based on the choices we make. Hal Urban in his book Life’s Greatest Lessons says, “…we all have the potential to do more with our lives. Every human being is capable of making great strides in self development and major increases in achievements.” As I have mentioned before that is a driving force in my starting this blog --the desire to help people maximize their potential and possibilities in life.
Too many people fail to reach their potential because they feel they do not have control. They fail to see that each day is full of choices that affect our present and futures. Sure there are the flat tires that come in our lives. No one wakes up choosing to be stranded on the side of the road with a flat. Even then we make a choice to get out of the car to fix the flat or call Triple A to fix the flat for us. I am a firm believer in Chaos Theory. Happenstance happens. Yet when the stuff of life we cannot control come crushing in we still have a choice what to do in response. Even the response of allowing ourselves to be crushed by the circumstance is a choice. Been there, been crushed and don’t recommend remaining crushed for a length of time.
To maximize our living we need to see the positive choices we can make each day. Even to make lemonade out of the lemons that drop into our lives. One of my favorite Psychological theories, ( probably because I believe in the power of Choice), is Choice Theory by Dr. William Glasser. A central aspect of Choice Theory is the belief that we are internally, not externally motivated. While other theories suggest that outside events "cause" us to behave in certain predictable ways, Choice Theory teaches that outside events never "make" us to do anything. What drives our behavior are internally developed notions of what is most important and satisfying to us. … Another major concept in Choice Theory is the notion that we always have some choice about how to behave. This does not mean that we have unlimited choice or that outside information is irrelevant as we choose how to behave. It means that we have more control than some people might believe and that we are responsible for the choices we make. (from www.choicetheory.com). What is going on internally in us is more important than the externals that affect our life journey. We are responsible to make the best choices for our good and for those traveling on the journey with us.
I like Dr. Glasser’s thinking, as the quote states we do not ignore the external information. If I have a flat tire I don’t ignore it and keep driving. “ My the road sure seems to be bumpy!” Of course it is not the road it is the flat tire. If I ignore the external, the small problem of the flat tire turns into the big problem of a smashed rim and broken axle. That bigger problem was the result of my ignoring the small problem. So by understanding the power of our choices we can maximize our living and sidetrack many of our problems which are results of poor choices or choosing not to choose.
As you wake up each day understand that you, not others are in control of your choices. Make the choice to make choices that will be the best for your life journey and for those travelling with you. “It is the big choices we make that set our direction. It is the smallest choices we make that get us to the destination.” –Shad Helmstetter-
Reflection:
Do you take the time to use critical thinking in the choices you make?
How do you respond to the external flat tires in your life?
Are there some choices you need to make that may bring new possibilities to your life journey?
We can face fewer false beliefs if we challenge them with critical thinking skills I mentioned in the post Living More Than OK By Using Critical Thinking Skills. I will discuss more on that topic as well in the future. Yet even using critical thinking is a choice we must make. I mentioned power along with choice. “The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose” J. Martin Kohe, (author and psychologist). We have amazing power for good possibilities and bad in our lives based on the choices we make. Hal Urban in his book Life’s Greatest Lessons says, “…we all have the potential to do more with our lives. Every human being is capable of making great strides in self development and major increases in achievements.” As I have mentioned before that is a driving force in my starting this blog --the desire to help people maximize their potential and possibilities in life.
Too many people fail to reach their potential because they feel they do not have control. They fail to see that each day is full of choices that affect our present and futures. Sure there are the flat tires that come in our lives. No one wakes up choosing to be stranded on the side of the road with a flat. Even then we make a choice to get out of the car to fix the flat or call Triple A to fix the flat for us. I am a firm believer in Chaos Theory. Happenstance happens. Yet when the stuff of life we cannot control come crushing in we still have a choice what to do in response. Even the response of allowing ourselves to be crushed by the circumstance is a choice. Been there, been crushed and don’t recommend remaining crushed for a length of time.
To maximize our living we need to see the positive choices we can make each day. Even to make lemonade out of the lemons that drop into our lives. One of my favorite Psychological theories, ( probably because I believe in the power of Choice), is Choice Theory by Dr. William Glasser. A central aspect of Choice Theory is the belief that we are internally, not externally motivated. While other theories suggest that outside events "cause" us to behave in certain predictable ways, Choice Theory teaches that outside events never "make" us to do anything. What drives our behavior are internally developed notions of what is most important and satisfying to us. … Another major concept in Choice Theory is the notion that we always have some choice about how to behave. This does not mean that we have unlimited choice or that outside information is irrelevant as we choose how to behave. It means that we have more control than some people might believe and that we are responsible for the choices we make. (from www.choicetheory.com). What is going on internally in us is more important than the externals that affect our life journey. We are responsible to make the best choices for our good and for those traveling on the journey with us.
I like Dr. Glasser’s thinking, as the quote states we do not ignore the external information. If I have a flat tire I don’t ignore it and keep driving. “ My the road sure seems to be bumpy!” Of course it is not the road it is the flat tire. If I ignore the external, the small problem of the flat tire turns into the big problem of a smashed rim and broken axle. That bigger problem was the result of my ignoring the small problem. So by understanding the power of our choices we can maximize our living and sidetrack many of our problems which are results of poor choices or choosing not to choose.
As you wake up each day understand that you, not others are in control of your choices. Make the choice to make choices that will be the best for your life journey and for those travelling with you. “It is the big choices we make that set our direction. It is the smallest choices we make that get us to the destination.” –Shad Helmstetter-
Reflection:
Do you take the time to use critical thinking in the choices you make?
How do you respond to the external flat tires in your life?
Are there some choices you need to make that may bring new possibilities to your life journey?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Making Time for Self Improvement
If we wish to live more than an ok life, one important area in our time management we need to include is time for self improvement. Through self improvement and self renewal we can spiral upwards to living more than ok. Too often in our lives the stuff of life snuffs out opportunities to take the time in our schedule to improve ourselves.
I like the metaphor in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In his seventh habit he calls it Sharpen the Saw. He looks at Sharpening the Saw as our taking time to improve ourselves in four areas of our lives: Physical, Social, Mental, and Spiritual. The Saw metaphor reminds us that we are a useful tool in our daily living with our work and interaction with others. Also as I have mentioned in the past we each have a purpose. Saws are purposeful when cutting wood, cutting limbs off trees, or cutting plastic/metal pipes to the correct length.
When our life is dull as a saw, it loses it’s effectiveness to fulfill it’s purpose. We become overcome with boredom and feel purposeless. The dullness also allows our lives to become out of balance and controlled by the stuff of life. We become stuck on autopilot with too many things happening to us instead of taking control and responsibility ourselves to make life happen for our advantage. The dull saw life is living just ok, getting by and enduring the sense of despair. A saw is not meant to be dull and rusty instead to fulfill its purpose, needs to be shiny and sharp. For maximum living we need to be shiny and sharp. That is what sharpening the saw is about.
Looking at the four areas Covey speaks of the first is the Physical. I have touched on this before. Are you taking time in your week for physical fitness? Three to four times a week you should be in some type of physical activity. I mentioned as a heart patient I exercise daily. I regularly use the treadmill and elliptical machines for aerobic exercise. I have also mentioned that my wife and I do a Leslie Sansone Walk at Home workout several times a week. Of course find out what works for you, gyms, neighborhood jogging, other dvd exercise programs of your choice. The key is to make it a part of your life rituals.
The second area is the Social. I haven’t discussed relationships yet in my blog postings but I will go more in depth in the future. As the saying goes, “No man is an island”. We all interact with others on a daily basis. That is why emotional intelligence is important. Managing and controlling our emotions to better improve our interactions with family, friends and strangers. Do you make time to improve your relationship connections with the significant people in your lives? Taking time to keep family strong and close relationships strong can keep your saw sharp and effective in your other interactions you face in life.
The third area is Mental. From my previous posting on critical thinking, you know the mental aspect of our lives is very important to me. We cannot be effective if our mind is dull. It hampers our thinking and causes us to make poor choices which then brings about negative consequences in our daily living. You can improve this area by becoming a Bookhead like me. Reading expand and strengthens our mind. Read more on topics you enjoy and expand your reading to new topics. You may also want to take a class at a local university or community college to sharpen your mind.
Then the fourth area is the Spiritual. One can improve in this realm of our being by following their religious heritage. As I have mentioned mine is the Christian heritage. For those without a religious heritage, who may consider themselves agnostic or atheist the spiritual can still have a place in taking time for Mindfulness Meditation, or taking time alone to reflect in nature. Those who follow a religious path need to place into their time schedule a daily time for spiritual development based on their particular teachings. I try each day to find time for devotion and prayer.
In closing, how is your saw doing? To live the best life possible we need to take control of our time and place in our schedules time for Sharpening the Saw. As we improve physically, socially, mentally, and spiritually we will have more energy and be more alert for the other major areas in our busy schedule. If we don’t it will be like sawing a tree with a dull rusty blade. We won’t get the job done and we may even break.
Reflection:
Rate yourself in the four areas: Physical, Social, Mental, and Spiritual. Which area are your strongest in? Which area do you need the most growth in?
What physical activities are you involved in?
How are you working to improve your most significant relationships?
How are you improving your Mental side of your life? Are you reading a new book? Have you considered taking a Continuing Education course at a local College or an online course?
Do you take time each day to improve your spiritual life?
I like the metaphor in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In his seventh habit he calls it Sharpen the Saw. He looks at Sharpening the Saw as our taking time to improve ourselves in four areas of our lives: Physical, Social, Mental, and Spiritual. The Saw metaphor reminds us that we are a useful tool in our daily living with our work and interaction with others. Also as I have mentioned in the past we each have a purpose. Saws are purposeful when cutting wood, cutting limbs off trees, or cutting plastic/metal pipes to the correct length.
When our life is dull as a saw, it loses it’s effectiveness to fulfill it’s purpose. We become overcome with boredom and feel purposeless. The dullness also allows our lives to become out of balance and controlled by the stuff of life. We become stuck on autopilot with too many things happening to us instead of taking control and responsibility ourselves to make life happen for our advantage. The dull saw life is living just ok, getting by and enduring the sense of despair. A saw is not meant to be dull and rusty instead to fulfill its purpose, needs to be shiny and sharp. For maximum living we need to be shiny and sharp. That is what sharpening the saw is about.
Looking at the four areas Covey speaks of the first is the Physical. I have touched on this before. Are you taking time in your week for physical fitness? Three to four times a week you should be in some type of physical activity. I mentioned as a heart patient I exercise daily. I regularly use the treadmill and elliptical machines for aerobic exercise. I have also mentioned that my wife and I do a Leslie Sansone Walk at Home workout several times a week. Of course find out what works for you, gyms, neighborhood jogging, other dvd exercise programs of your choice. The key is to make it a part of your life rituals.
The second area is the Social. I haven’t discussed relationships yet in my blog postings but I will go more in depth in the future. As the saying goes, “No man is an island”. We all interact with others on a daily basis. That is why emotional intelligence is important. Managing and controlling our emotions to better improve our interactions with family, friends and strangers. Do you make time to improve your relationship connections with the significant people in your lives? Taking time to keep family strong and close relationships strong can keep your saw sharp and effective in your other interactions you face in life.
The third area is Mental. From my previous posting on critical thinking, you know the mental aspect of our lives is very important to me. We cannot be effective if our mind is dull. It hampers our thinking and causes us to make poor choices which then brings about negative consequences in our daily living. You can improve this area by becoming a Bookhead like me. Reading expand and strengthens our mind. Read more on topics you enjoy and expand your reading to new topics. You may also want to take a class at a local university or community college to sharpen your mind.
Then the fourth area is the Spiritual. One can improve in this realm of our being by following their religious heritage. As I have mentioned mine is the Christian heritage. For those without a religious heritage, who may consider themselves agnostic or atheist the spiritual can still have a place in taking time for Mindfulness Meditation, or taking time alone to reflect in nature. Those who follow a religious path need to place into their time schedule a daily time for spiritual development based on their particular teachings. I try each day to find time for devotion and prayer.
In closing, how is your saw doing? To live the best life possible we need to take control of our time and place in our schedules time for Sharpening the Saw. As we improve physically, socially, mentally, and spiritually we will have more energy and be more alert for the other major areas in our busy schedule. If we don’t it will be like sawing a tree with a dull rusty blade. We won’t get the job done and we may even break.
Reflection:
Rate yourself in the four areas: Physical, Social, Mental, and Spiritual. Which area are your strongest in? Which area do you need the most growth in?
What physical activities are you involved in?
How are you working to improve your most significant relationships?
How are you improving your Mental side of your life? Are you reading a new book? Have you considered taking a Continuing Education course at a local College or an online course?
Do you take time each day to improve your spiritual life?
Monday, March 1, 2010
Our Humanity Messiness and Choices
In being open and accepting of our humanness we need to be aware that in our life journey we have a tendency to make messes in our lives. At times we are our own worst enemy towards living an abundant life which I term Living More Than OK. We fall into wrong behaviors or harmful thought patterns that affect our behaviors. Sometimes it is a negative reaction to chance events in our lives.
Looking at life with a Christian worldview I see the messes we create in life relate to the concept of the sin nature spoken of in the Bible. It is the observation that we fall short of perfection and many times fall far short. Two children fighting in school and a teacher stops them, how often will one student step up and say, “ to be honest, teacher I started the fight.” No instead without being taught they point at each other, “He started it!.” No one teaches us to lie it comes natural. These falling short moments often create messes in our lives that affect our life experience and many times those around us.. It is a struggle with our human nature that we fight with in our life. The Apostle Paul points out this inner struggle in his writings. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. (Romans 7:15,18&19). It is that battle of choosing to do right or wrong.
The battle between doing what is right verses creating a new mess in our lives relates to our personal choices. From a Christian standpoint the ultimate choice in the battle relates to a faith decision in what Christ has done for us in His Death And Resurrection. But the little battles daily relate to personal choices as well. As Dr Shad Helmstetter says , “ Who knows what you could accomplish in life if you made more of the right choices along the way?”
We recently took our daughter up to Corpus Christi to a Switchfoot concert. They have a song on their new CD Hello Hurricane that relates to the topic of Overcoming messes in our lives. Watch the video of them, and reflect over the lyrics below.
Mess of Me (Click to watch the video)
I am my own affliction, I am my own disease
There ain’t no drug that they could sell, Ah there ain´t no drugs to make me well
There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, It´s not enough, The sickness is myself
- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I made a mess of me I wanna the get back rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!
We lock our souls in cages, We hide inside our shells
It´s hard to free the ones you love, Oh when you can´t forgive yourself
Yeah forgive yourself!
There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, The sickness is myself
- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!
There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, No drug to make me well
There ain´t no drug, It´s not enough, I´m breaking up, The sickness is myself
The sickness is myself
- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!!
When we choose to let our messes control our lives we lock ourselves up. When I allowed my life to spiral into depression after a difficult time in Chicago I did lock up a lot of my spare time in my apartment. It was often a struggle to get out and do the right thing of doing things I enjoyed like exploring the art museum, various neighborhood activities and seeing people at church. It was more depressingly comfortable to stay in the shell of the apartment. The desire in the back of my mind was to “get back the rest of me” and “spend the rest of my life alive”. That was the choice I eventually followed
During that difficult period, I took the time to reflect on how I wanted the rest of my life to go. Times of meditation on the Psalms and solitude of prayerful reflection on my life journey helped me make better Choices. “Listen to the quietest of whispers of your mind…They are telling you the choices that will help you the most.” - Shad Helmstetter. It is during times of quiet solitude where we can think through our lives and our future possibilities with deeper clarity. So if you are in the midst of a mess or tired of a messy life; place into your time schedule time to have quiet time to reflect on the whispers of your mind. Make a weekend get away to just reflect on what you want to make your live more alive. To reflect over the future of your life journey and look at new possibilities for yourself.
Reflection:
Is there a mess in your life that makes you feel caged in?
How can you get back to being the you -- you want to be?
What will help you make your life more alive?
Looking at life with a Christian worldview I see the messes we create in life relate to the concept of the sin nature spoken of in the Bible. It is the observation that we fall short of perfection and many times fall far short. Two children fighting in school and a teacher stops them, how often will one student step up and say, “ to be honest, teacher I started the fight.” No instead without being taught they point at each other, “He started it!.” No one teaches us to lie it comes natural. These falling short moments often create messes in our lives that affect our life experience and many times those around us.. It is a struggle with our human nature that we fight with in our life. The Apostle Paul points out this inner struggle in his writings. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. (Romans 7:15,18&19). It is that battle of choosing to do right or wrong.
The battle between doing what is right verses creating a new mess in our lives relates to our personal choices. From a Christian standpoint the ultimate choice in the battle relates to a faith decision in what Christ has done for us in His Death And Resurrection. But the little battles daily relate to personal choices as well. As Dr Shad Helmstetter says , “ Who knows what you could accomplish in life if you made more of the right choices along the way?”
We recently took our daughter up to Corpus Christi to a Switchfoot concert. They have a song on their new CD Hello Hurricane that relates to the topic of Overcoming messes in our lives. Watch the video of them, and reflect over the lyrics below.
Mess of Me (Click to watch the video)
I am my own affliction, I am my own disease
There ain’t no drug that they could sell, Ah there ain´t no drugs to make me well
There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, It´s not enough, The sickness is myself
- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I made a mess of me I wanna the get back rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!
We lock our souls in cages, We hide inside our shells
It´s hard to free the ones you love, Oh when you can´t forgive yourself
Yeah forgive yourself!
There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, The sickness is myself
- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!
There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, There ain´t no drug, No drug to make me well
There ain´t no drug, It´s not enough, I´m breaking up, The sickness is myself
The sickness is myself
- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!!
When we choose to let our messes control our lives we lock ourselves up. When I allowed my life to spiral into depression after a difficult time in Chicago I did lock up a lot of my spare time in my apartment. It was often a struggle to get out and do the right thing of doing things I enjoyed like exploring the art museum, various neighborhood activities and seeing people at church. It was more depressingly comfortable to stay in the shell of the apartment. The desire in the back of my mind was to “get back the rest of me” and “spend the rest of my life alive”. That was the choice I eventually followed
During that difficult period, I took the time to reflect on how I wanted the rest of my life to go. Times of meditation on the Psalms and solitude of prayerful reflection on my life journey helped me make better Choices. “Listen to the quietest of whispers of your mind…They are telling you the choices that will help you the most.” - Shad Helmstetter. It is during times of quiet solitude where we can think through our lives and our future possibilities with deeper clarity. So if you are in the midst of a mess or tired of a messy life; place into your time schedule time to have quiet time to reflect on the whispers of your mind. Make a weekend get away to just reflect on what you want to make your live more alive. To reflect over the future of your life journey and look at new possibilities for yourself.
Reflection:
Is there a mess in your life that makes you feel caged in?
How can you get back to being the you -- you want to be?
What will help you make your life more alive?
Friday, February 19, 2010
Living Your Best A Day At A Time
How would we live if we knew this was our last day? Being a heart patient with two stents in me and genetics against me, (since my father died young of a heart attack); I have thought of that question often. Even with advanced medical technology we don’t know when that last day will come. So how do we then live? There is a verse in Psalm 118:24 “This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Each day is a gift to us that we should appreciate and rejoice in. To me it is trying to live each day with an abundant living attitude, of making the most of the time I have left. What impact do I want to leave behind? The most important impact we can have is in helping others and investing in helping others live flourishing lives. The initial question helps us look at our values and think over what is really important in our daily living.
I came across the song If Today Was Your Last Day by the group Nickleback and their lyrics in the song looks at different angles of living like it was our last day. There was a very creative video that was done with the song so click on the link and look at the video and reflect over the lyrics.
Nickelback video
If Today Was Your Last Day lyrics
Songwriters: Kroeger, Chad;
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
There are so many helpful questions in the song to challenge us in the way we are viewing and living our lives. In our daily living what hold does materialism have on us? What are the important relationships in your life and how would they be affected if you live in the moment of each day? How we use our time is important and the choices we make with our time will leave us on our last day either full of regret or satisfied that we did our best to live a fulfilled life.
Time to reflect:
Do you see each day given to you as a Gift?
Can you leave the past behind to make the most of each day?
What right now are your top five priorities to focus on if you were to live with an attitude of living like your last day?
I came across the song If Today Was Your Last Day by the group Nickleback and their lyrics in the song looks at different angles of living like it was our last day. There was a very creative video that was done with the song so click on the link and look at the video and reflect over the lyrics.
Nickelback video
If Today Was Your Last Day lyrics
Songwriters: Kroeger, Chad;
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
There are so many helpful questions in the song to challenge us in the way we are viewing and living our lives. In our daily living what hold does materialism have on us? What are the important relationships in your life and how would they be affected if you live in the moment of each day? How we use our time is important and the choices we make with our time will leave us on our last day either full of regret or satisfied that we did our best to live a fulfilled life.
Time to reflect:
Do you see each day given to you as a Gift?
Can you leave the past behind to make the most of each day?
What right now are your top five priorities to focus on if you were to live with an attitude of living like your last day?
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Accepting Our Humanness
Many times in life we are too hard on ourselves. Thinking we should be the perfect student, perfect worker, perfect friend, and perfect mate. In a recent course I took on the Foundations of Positive Psychology the lecturer Professor Tal Ben-Shahar numerous times repeated the phrase, “give yourself permission to be human.” What does that mean? I thought back to a student who had almost a nervous breakdown over a poor grade. It turned out the student had started out the first semester with all A’s and then one class the next term started to slip which caused a spiral down in other classes. Why? Because the thinking that all A’s was the way to be. There is nothing wrong with all A’s but to hold oneself to that standard can cause inner turmoil and suffering. That is the tragedy of perfectionist thinking.
We ignore our humanness to our detriment when we pile up should and musts on ourselves in a unrealistic manner. I must have this job to be happy. I must have this person as my friend to be happy. I should get all A’s to prove I am a good student. When I discuss more on the issue of goals I will share how I believe we should dream big and aim for big goals to accomplish possibilities in our lives. Yet on the human side we should not beat ourselves up if we don’t fully reach our dreams or goals. But more on that later.
Accepting our humanness can be capsulated in this quote by Reinhold Niebuhr: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference." Being human is being content in areas that we cannot change. I cannot make someone like me. I can try to be more likeable. I cannot make someone hire me for a particular job. I can do my best in the job search and try to be creative in a competitive era of finding work. So on this journey in life understanding what we can change and what we cannot helps with the anxieties of the musts and regrets of should’ve and could’ve thinking that overtakes us. How much wasted potential is there when we dwell on the regrets of what we think could have been if we had that person as a friend or that job or whatever…? As a Christian minded person I do agree with Niebuhr that in prayer we need to seek for wisdom to think critically over these issues in our lives for the right choices.
As the acceptance of things brings contentment and a life regret free; also the things we can change; we need to take the risk to change them. If meeting new people is important to you than trying out new venues of meeting new people such as volunteering for a social cause, taking continuing education classes, being involved in church or synagogue may be a new helpful change . If looking for a new career is an option then seek out a career counselor, polish up your resume, or start networking.
Accepting and understanding the need for change are things with we can do in our humanness. What makes these effective in our lives is taking responsibility. As I stated earlier I cannot change those who work with me. I cannot change my family members. I can only change me and that is my responsibility and choice. In Victor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, (must reading), he says, “In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. Thus, logotherapy sees responsibleness the very essence of human existence.” So acceptance of our humanness is being responsible in our relation to God, ourselves and others.
Reflection:
What areas of your life are things you cannot change? What areas of your life can you change to improve the journey you are on? What does it mean to be human to you?
We ignore our humanness to our detriment when we pile up should and musts on ourselves in a unrealistic manner. I must have this job to be happy. I must have this person as my friend to be happy. I should get all A’s to prove I am a good student. When I discuss more on the issue of goals I will share how I believe we should dream big and aim for big goals to accomplish possibilities in our lives. Yet on the human side we should not beat ourselves up if we don’t fully reach our dreams or goals. But more on that later.
Accepting our humanness can be capsulated in this quote by Reinhold Niebuhr: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference." Being human is being content in areas that we cannot change. I cannot make someone like me. I can try to be more likeable. I cannot make someone hire me for a particular job. I can do my best in the job search and try to be creative in a competitive era of finding work. So on this journey in life understanding what we can change and what we cannot helps with the anxieties of the musts and regrets of should’ve and could’ve thinking that overtakes us. How much wasted potential is there when we dwell on the regrets of what we think could have been if we had that person as a friend or that job or whatever…? As a Christian minded person I do agree with Niebuhr that in prayer we need to seek for wisdom to think critically over these issues in our lives for the right choices.
As the acceptance of things brings contentment and a life regret free; also the things we can change; we need to take the risk to change them. If meeting new people is important to you than trying out new venues of meeting new people such as volunteering for a social cause, taking continuing education classes, being involved in church or synagogue may be a new helpful change . If looking for a new career is an option then seek out a career counselor, polish up your resume, or start networking.
Accepting and understanding the need for change are things with we can do in our humanness. What makes these effective in our lives is taking responsibility. As I stated earlier I cannot change those who work with me. I cannot change my family members. I can only change me and that is my responsibility and choice. In Victor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, (must reading), he says, “In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. Thus, logotherapy sees responsibleness the very essence of human existence.” So acceptance of our humanness is being responsible in our relation to God, ourselves and others.
Reflection:
What areas of your life are things you cannot change? What areas of your life can you change to improve the journey you are on? What does it mean to be human to you?
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