Spreading Joy By Giving At Christmas

Each Christmas Season brings new memories and new lessons learned. A thread that came through this season is that part of the Joy of Christmas is in giving. Giving touches upon the true meaning of Christmas in God sending His son to the world as the greatest gift. There were many ways this came to mind this year and I will simply touch on a few ways that stood out to me.

Recently as a family we went to a concert of the Tran Siberian Orchestra for their Winter tour. If you ever have the opportunity to see them in concert they put on an amazing performance. Their talent as artists and performers is superb. (Click on this sentence to hear a short video of their music). We thoroughly enjoyed the sights and sounds of their music and light show. What does this have to do with giving as we were on the receiving end? Well, something else I appreciate about the Trans Siberian Orchestra is their performance always tells a story. As I listened intently to the mesmerizing voice of the narrator and the lyrics of the singers the message became clear. The story was emphasizing one important part of Christmas was that of giving and being open to give to strangers in their time of need. They were also getting across that this aspect of Christmas should be a year round lifestyle change in us. So we went to the concert simply to enjoy their music but came away with an important lesson as well.

During the Christmas season as I shop, I am also reminded of the importance of giving as I hear the familiar bells of the Salvation Army. They are a Christian based organization that does so much good around the world. By placing spare change into the red kettles it is a way to give to the needy that the Salvation Army helps.

Then a few days ago while my wife and daughter went shopping, I spent the day baking small gingerbread cakes and Christmas cookies. From the memory side of Christmas there is nothing better than baking cookies while listening to Holiday music. Since we are new in the neighborhood I thought of making up plates of cookies and giving them to our neighbors who we are still getting to know. When they came back from shopping my wife helped me plate the cookies which you see at the top of this column. She creatively wrapped them up with plastic wrap and red and green ribbon so they were ready for delivery.

Christmas Eve morning I walked them around to our surrounding neighbors. I could see joy in their eyes as their gazed at the decorated tray of baked goods. Who would think that giving a simple tray of cookies would brighten someone’s life? We hope in the New Year to know these neighbors better.

Reflection: What are some ways you practice giving during the Holidays? As you look into the New Year are there ways you can keep Christmas alive by giving through out the year?

Savoring Fall in Texas

The diverse colors of the Fall season is one aspect of the Chicago area my wife and I had missed in our living in the Texas, Rio Grande Valley. I’ve never missed the bone chilling snowy Winters of Chicago, but Fall is a season I missed. There is a relaxing freshness for the spirit in taking a Saturday stroll through Lincoln Park with the trees full of a mixture yellow, oranges, and red leaves. Or driving up through Southern Wisconsin and viewing the changing colors of creation. In Brownsville we missed the diversity of the seasons.

With our move up to New Braunfels we noticed Maple trees in our neighborhood and with plum trees in our yard we thought we might be able to enjoy Fall again. A week ago we took a weekend to go to nearby Lost Maples State Park . We rented a cabin that overlooked the Frio River in Leakey, Texas. The drought had taken its toll on the river yet in the area where our cabin was the water was so clear we could see the catfish and turtles swimming.

On early Saturday morning we went over to Lost Maples. It was sprinkling lightly so we worried that would hinder us taking photographs. As we started up one of the trails, by then it had stopped raining. After about a quarter of a mile we came to an open field area that was perfect for photographs. The colors in the maples were spectacular oranges, yellows, and reds. The rest of the hike gave us a good healthy workout. I was thankful that it was a cooler day as we walked the miles of the hike.

Savoring is deeply soaking in experiences as you are going through them. It is taking time to reflect on the present moment so as to imbed the moment into our memory. When we are savoring, it often also brings up corresponding memories. The time at Lost Maples with my family and taking photos that afternoon allowed me to reflect on memories of Fall trips when I was young in Ohio to the various state parks Ohio is noted for. Those were positive times with my mother, brother and family friends growing up. The colors also brought back memories of the many Fall weekend hikes in the Chicago area. Many a Saturday I would hike from Peterson Avenue on the far North side and follow the lakefront parks to the North Avenue Beach area.

Back at the cabin in the late evening I marveled at all the stars sparkling on the clear backdrop of a black cloud free night sky. It had been many years since I had seen so many stars. Then in the early morning I sat out on the cabins patio to read. I would glance up from the book listening to the sound of silence and marveling at the expanse of trees on the other side of the river. I breathed up a prayer of thankfulness to the Designer Creator behind all the beauty around me.

Taking short breaks to savor the wonder and beauty of nature helps to revive us from the humdrum boredom of life. Opportunities like these help to slow down our pace so we can savor new time moments with family and renew older memories that make life more meaningful. The voices in our minds can tell us we are too busy to take a break or we don’t have the money. We almost allowed those voices to stop us from going to Lost Maples. After the weekend experience we were glad that we made the choice to go and get away.

Reflection: Plan a getaway for yourself and your family -- even if it is a one day picnic at a park or beach. During the time use 20 to 30 minutes to soak in the experience and savor what getting away means for you.

Renewing The Spirit At A Counseling Conference

A week ago I had the opportunity to attend the Texas Counseling Professional Growth conference in Fort Worth, Texas. I have mentioned before, one reason I enjoy conferences is the life long learning experience of looking at new practices and theories. This year was a little different in that as the 2011 President of the Texas Career Development Association, my primary place at the conference was to be at our division booth and promote our association. This meant attending very little of the conference.

With Thanksgiving this week I do look back at that week and am thankful for the learning I was able to partake in. I am thankful God has given us minds to learn and grow through reading and learning from others. I will share in this blog post two learning sessions the deeply affected me.

They both occurred on Friday of the conference. The first one was very early. With coffee in hand, I went to the Counselor Prayer breakfast at 6:30 am. There were not many present that early in the morning, but the presenter shared insight on the importance of prayer that I felt was very timely in my life. She discussed the concept of “Centering Prayer” . This is meditative and reflective prayer of quietly reflecting for example on Galations 5:22& 23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. “. Or you can pray a prayer of worship centered on an attribute of God. She mentioned this moves our prayers away from whiney, gimme, gimme prayers. Not that praying for people and things is wrong but the centered prayer I believe quiets our hearts and calms us to hear from God.
She used the analogy that life with its chaos, fear, sadness, and despair is like a hurricane. Centered prayer allows us to be at peace in the “Eye of the Storm”. The eye of the hurricane is where the air is calm and quiet. Having lived in an area that had hurricanes I could appreciate the analogy. Prayer does have that characteristic to take our spirits away from the rages of the storm to a quiet place in God’s presence.

After that early morning session I also was able to attend the Keynote speaker session with Dr. Bradford Keeney . Dr. Keeney is presently Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy and Hanna Spyker Eminent Scholars Chair in Education, University of Louisiana, Monroe campus. Over the years he has studied healers, shamans, and medicine men around the world in a variety of cultures.

In his presentation Dr. Keeney rightly pointed out that modern Psychology and Counseling relies too much on techniques and theories and neglects what he called the complexity and mystery of the Divine. The sterile secular mindset tries to explain everything and puts everything into categories and stereotypes. He emphasized Counselors can learn from the ancient healers. Be open to the Spirit. That we gotta have a song in our soul. He brought up the importance of rhapsodic expression of poetry and music. In doing this he went into a beatnik type or rap like poetry expression of his message. I found drawn to his creativeness in his presentation. To help people we do need to tap into creativity and realize that counseling has an art form element to it.

A couple of points that made an impression on me was his mentioning of the Irving Mills song, “It Don’t Mean A Thing If It Ain’t Got That Swing” . Click on the title to hear a video of it. Dr. Keeney was trying to get across that the healing process is helping people re-energize their lives. Not living ok existence, but the liveliness and energy and power of the Spirit which is found in the analogy of jazz and spiritual music. Keeping with his music analogy he presented the idea that Counseling needs more song and feeling. Don’t just interpret a technique, instead swing and rap with the individual needs of the person seeking help.

Dr. Keeney at another point began to sing the children spiritual song. “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.” This was a reminder that our purpose in our lives, and in our practice as Counselors is to make the world a brighter place. Life is not about getting things and living complacent ok lives. Instead life is about giving and shining light on the darkness in people’s lives.

So although at this conference I spent quite a bit of time at our TCDA booth the sessions I was able to attend impacted my life in challenging how I can shine my light and be more centered in the spiritual aspect of my life.

Reflection: How are you shining your light in your world to make it a better place? Do you have an inner song that inspires your life?

Happenstance, Choices and Our Career Journey

With the course for freshman college students I teach at a local college, a major ending project is looking at their career choice. I try to let them know that many things in life shape our career journey. It is not just taking a career test and out pops the perfect career. Also for most of them right out of High School, I let them know that they are looking at an initial starting point for their career journey. They will find themselves expanding into other areas in the future.

Recently, I was on one my favorite websites www.naturalhigh.org and on their online tv link watched a video of Josh Landan. Take a few minutes and watch it here www.naturalhigh.tv/ They have several videos but presently Josh’s is the first one.

I showed this to my college students this semester as it starts off showing his initial passion at 18 to be a videographer. His passion can be picked up in the comment that he came across as a stalker. Also the manner he speaks and the light in his eyes you can see his love for filming. I love seeing people following their passion be it in their vocation or avocation. A passion gives us purpose and meaning as well as enjoyment in life. So I encourage people to seek out an area they are passionate about. Especially students I work with I try to encourage them to find a passion to tap into.

Listening to Josh I also see Dr. Krumboltz’s, concept of Happenstance as well, (I have spoken of his concept of happenstance and creating our own luck in the past). Josh had a surfing videographer he looked up to in Taylor Steele. At one point in his life he had a chance to meet him. With that chance, he took the risk of a choice to see if he could work with him. It worked out that he could work with Taylor Steele, and from the flow of his story it was a positive turning point. This turning point opened up his growth in filming as a career.

His filming progressed and he tells us of awards and success in his area of passion. Then at another juncture it is suggested that he try out managing athletes so he progresses on in his career journey to manage athletes. By then he is also directing films as well. From a career point of view he has opened up to greater levels than where he first began. Did he know this would happen when he was an 18 year old, stalking surfers with his camera? I am sure he would say no.

In the end he speaks to his wise choice to stay away from drug use. He mentions that this choice affected his career success. His type of work is more freelance in nature so he is self employed. He clearly states that if he went the drug route his life would have been wasted. You can’t run a successful business when drugs or alcohol are in control of your life. He could have chosen to follow peer pressure of drug use in his local area of Ventura, California. We see he did not make that choice. He chose to follow his passion and look for natural highs in his life.

Reflection: Journal how Josh’s video affected you. Did it remind you of important choices you have made in your career journey? Think over those happenstance items in your life that forced a choice in your career life and life in general.

Resilience And Knowing Our Limits

Resilience is that part of our being that keeps us going during the tough times. When we want to give up our resilience level is that inner voice that says don’t give up -- keep moving forward and upward. It helps us to bounce back when life throws us unexpected curveballs. We can through planning and goal setting control much of what life throws at us, but we can’t control everything. Resilience can give us the strength to keep plodding along the path instead of giving up.

We each have different difficulties on our journeys to test our resilience. In dealing with these difficulties part of resilience is knowing our limits and knowing when we need to ask for help. There is nothing wrong in asking for help. That help can come from our fellow travelers on life’s journey or Divine help as we call out to God for help.

Recently we as a family heard Matthew West in concert at a church in San Antonio. Many of his songs impacted me but one that stood out that evening was Strong Enough. Click on the title and listen to the song. You will find the video amazing.

Strong Enough by Matthew West

You must, You must think I'm strong, To give me what I'm going through

Well forgive me, Forgive me if I'm wrong, But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be, everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up , I'm not strong enough , Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be, Strong enough, Strong enough
For the both of us

Well maybe, Maybe that's the point, To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally, Finally at rock bottom, Well that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be, Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up ,I'm not strong enough , Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be, Strong enough, Strong enough

Cause I'm broken, Down to nothing, But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God, and you are strong, When I am weak

I can do all things, Through Christ who gives me strength, And I don't have to be
Strong enough, Strong enough

I can do all things, Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be, Strong enough Strong enough

I know I'm not strong enough to be, Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up, I'm not strong enough, Hands of mercy won't you cover me,
Lord right now I'm asking you to be, Strong enough, Strong enough, Strong enough.

The song reminded me of difficult days in Chicago after my mother had died, then shortly thereafter my oldest brother was diagnosed with cancer. He passed away months afterwards, wasting away to nothing in his final days. During that time of grief the company I worked for had a corporate takeover and I lost my job. Those were depressing days where like the song says I was at the point of giving up. This was a time when my resilience levels could not cope. I felt the strength of Christ by close friends at church filling in the gap. Also by holding onto the promises of God’s Word helped me to keep forward on the journey.

The song also reminded me of my volunteer work with a drug rehab center in Brownsville, Texas. Their groups used the 12 step program of Alcoholic Anonymous. If you work with addicts they know from their stories they had to hit rock bottom before seeking help. They will admit their turn around was only from God’s hand of grace reaching down to pull them up.

As you listened to the song and read over the lyrics did it remind you of past times of difficulties in your life. Maybe you are facing difficulties now – economic, health, broken relationships. Know that whatever you are facing you need to be open to know your limitations and reach for help. Maybe it is calling a friend to let them know what you are facing. Possibly you need to reach out to your local church or parish for help. Most importantly of all, I believe we need to reach out and understand Jesus Christ is there to give us strength enough for the difficulty we are facing.

Reflection -- Think over a past difficulty where you felt overwhelmed. In hindsight can you see how the Hand of God helped through the process whether through other people or in a miraculous happenstance occurrence. Also in these difficult days is there someone you know facing difficulties where you can be the hand of Christ by helping in love?

One Month To Live

How would life be different you us if we knew we only had a month to live? That is an important question to consider in Living More Than OK. Sometime ago a dear friend gave my wife and I the book One Month To Live by Kerry & Chris Shook. The Shooks are the founders of the Woodlands Church in the suburbs of Houston, Texas. A little over 10 years have passed since I had my brush with death, but stent surgery to my heart arteries saved my life. So thinking of this anniversary made me think about this book.

The premise of the book, looking at our life journey with the end in mind, is very relevant to how I have lived my life since the stents unblocked my two blocked heart arteries. Knowing that ten years ago may have been my last day has affected how I lived since then and today. The experience gave me renewed purpose for living life and that God had a purpose for my life continuing. That purpose is still cloudy sometimes yet each new morning I awake I know there is a reason to use my time wisely.

The authors early on in the book bring up an interesting analogy by mentioning cemetery grave markers. Every time I visit my hometown of Barberton, Ohio I try to visit my parent’s gravesite. The markers list their birthdate then a dash and then the day they passed away from this life. The authors note that we don’t choose our birth date and the day we die but the dash, which is the time in between we can make choices on how we use it. How very true. Do we consider how to maximize the use of our dash time?

We can live a better life if we take seriously to make the most of our dash time. One could think of the book title and think this is a morose way to live. Waking up and hiding under the covers as, “This might be the day I die. I think I will stay inside and watch Reality TV re-runs.” That is not the message of the book. When we accept our mortality we are more open to living life in a way that we can make the most of it, and hopefully impact it in a way to improve the lives of others.
In Ecclesiastes 7:4 it reads, “A wise person thinks much about death, while the fool only thinks about having a good time now.” By accepting our mortality we can make better choices with how we want to use our dash time to make the most of the fleeting time in this life. By just living for pleasurable impulses we may miss some really great opportunities that we may have enjoyed even more. The fool is just reacting to life and not thinking through how he or she wants to really live their life.

The authors speak to important topics that are found in making a flourishing life. Having a strong connected spiritual relationship to God is the foundation of life so this is highlighted in the book as primary. This relationship should be of main importance in our dash time. Relationships with others are also stressed by the authors. Too many people die and those left behind have unresolved issues because relationships were not a priority. To live a life without regrets it is important to work on relationship issues in the land of the living.

Living passionately and being open to risk taking are important and so are discussed by the authors. Many come to the end of their lives with regrets because they did not do what they wanted to do in life. They always had certain things on their “get around to it” list but they never really got to them. That is one problem with such lists. We make the lists but allow the mundane activities of life to snuff out the importance of the items we really want to do.

Psalm 37:4 says “ Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” If your primary connection to God is right and He has placed a passion in your heart for something then take the risk to do it instead of putting it on a “get around to it” list that will be quickly covered up the others cares and day to day business of life. The importance thing about this verse of scripture is the first part. Too many people claim this as a promise for going after our desires. The text clearly shows the priority is having a right relationship to God and then the desires, passionate items, can be gone after with knowing God will be with us.
An important feature of the book I found is the “Make It Last For Life” reflection boxes at the end of each chapter. The questions help to savor the information so you can apply it to your everyday life. It is sort of a paradox being faced in this book. To truly live life to its fullest, we need to consider our death and what kind of legacy we wish to leave behind.

Reflection: What would change in your life if you knew you had a month to live? Is there something God has placed a passion in your life for?

Do The Rich Owe Me A Better Life?

Over the past few weeks I have been watching the internet news and reports on Fox News about the Occupy Wall Street Protests. Much of what I have heard in the interviews with protestors is that many are against companies, banks, and the wealthy. When asked what they want they state they want economic justice, they want the wealthy to have their money redistributed to “The People”. In reality they mean they want their money. They never state why they deserve the money.

As I listen to all this I have thought of my thinking behind Living More Than OK. My belief is that the principles of Positive Psychology and spiritual principles help each of us to make better choices so as to improve our fulfillment of living in the world. The aim is to make better decisions in self empowerment. It has nothing to do with stealing money from the rich so I selfishly can have a better life. That is not what I hear from the OWS groups they want the money of the rich given to them by the Government.

I came across this Youtube link to a OWS protest in Oakland, CA. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuFQuEwJ5xI Take the time to listen to it. Especially, if you have not heard their comments about what they are doing. Listening to it was a combination of blood pressure rising, to despair of how our universities are brainwashing young people into Marxist zombies. What is economic justice? Several spoke of the need to redistribute the wealth. Do the wealthy owe me money? Sure, if Warren Buffet wants to hand me a million dollars I won’t say no, but do I have the right to demand it? Does the government have the right to take most of it?

Since when did the American Dream turn from self initiative and hard work to get ahead; to being a nation of entitlement seekers, stealing from the rich to gain easy money? The one man speaks of the billions left behind in Steve Jobs estate as Mr. Jobs died of pancreatic cancer recently. The interviewer reminds him there is an estate tax the family will have to deal with. The man’s response is, “That is not enough!”. That is sickening. What makes that man believe he deserves some of Steve Job’s money? There is also the young lady that gets defensive when the interviewer points to her IPhone. She is there complaining about corporations yet she uses their products. There is an insane level of hypocrisy within the OWS movement.

OF course they are not totally wrong. There has been abuse from rich companies that get corporate welfare and definitely do not pay their fair share. In those cases that is where justice should be done. General Electric, one of the wealthiest companies in the U. S. paid no taxes. Warren Buffet , Barak Obama supporter, who has complained he is not taxed enough, has been behind billions of dollars in taxes from his company. If he feels he is not being taxed enough he should start with making sure his company pays the billions in back taxes. These are the economic injustices that need to be solved.

Is it fair that 1% of the population who are the wealthiest pays about 40 percent of the total taxes received while 51% pay no taxes? I agree with those who say the OWS protestors are protesting at the wrong place. It is the Government that gave $500 billion to a Solar company that went bankrupt and another billion to another solar company whose factory is in Mexico. So our tax dollars are being funneled from the White House to Mexico job creation when we have so many out of work here.

Again I must say I am not letting the wealthy off the hook. They should be responsible with their wealth. But it is their wealth, not mine nor the governments to take. Jesus told a story in Luke 12:42-48 (NIV)
42 The Lord answered, “Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time? 43 It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns. 44 Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. 45 But suppose the servant says to himself, ‘My master is taking a long time in coming,’ and he then begins to beat the other servants, both men and women, and to eat and drink and get drunk. 46 The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. 47 “The servant who knows the master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what the master wants will be beaten with many blows. 48 But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."

Jesus is speaking of a manager a Master has put in charge. If he does right he will receive more responsibility. Managers who do wrong will be punished. The key verse is verse 48, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” In the larger context Jesus is speaking of the kind of leadership qualities He wants in his disciples but an application of this verse relates to the issue that before God we are responsible for what we have been given in knowledge and in material benefits. Proverbs 29:7 “The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.” All of us need to care for the poor and that includes the wealthy. So we each need to be thankful for what we have been given and be accountable and responsible in using our material wealth and resources.

Reflection Think over of how you can be a better steward of the talents, gifts and material resources God has given you.